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Funny quotes anyone?
Topic Started: Sep 18 2008, 11:18 PM (604 Views)
Axsuri
Member Avatar
I wrote a poem about you; and it isn't flattering.
Alraight, lets go through our list....
-You will rule in terror whether you like it or not!!
-Your denial of my victim-hood is lowering my self esteem.
-We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.
-The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
-“He who hesitates is lost.”
-I’m fairly certain you’re breaking some sort of stupidity limit.
-“Remember, all good intentions should come with ulterior motives.”
-I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-I'm a professional idiot; it's my job not to know what I'm doing.
-“I'm not stupid...just incredibly intellectually disabled."
-Helpful Hint No 526: When something has "fire away from face" written on it, it doesn't just mean yours.
-There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
-The lone amateur build the ark, but a group of professionals build the Titanic
-Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional
-"If it ain't broke, you're not tryin'."
-"One of the misconceptions is that you can fight fire with fire. In my experience, when you fight fire with fire the result is... MORE FIRE..."
-"The problem with designing something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool."
-"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations."
-Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-Procrastination...so that's where all my time goes.
-Love is over when you simply don't care whether the other person lives, dies, or shoves a trumpet up their ass and plays Ride of the Valkyries from the rooftops.
-"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?"
-When in trouble, when in doubt; run in circles, scream and shout
-"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. "
-But a duck couldn’t run off a sheep’s back like water off a duck’s back. It would try, but it wouldn’t get very far. It would get absorbed into the sheep. Then you’d have a sheep full of dead ducks, and that’s no good to anyone.
-"Life is NOT short...It's the longest damn thing you'll ever do!"
-Of course I'm out of my mind-- It's dark and scary in there!
-When life gives you lemons, beat it up and take its money.
-I'm not afraid of death! What's it gonna do? Kill me?
-If thou wouldst have praise, die.
-confused as a baby in a topless bar
-When I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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Phrixscreoth
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Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.


I love California. I practically grew up in Phoniex.


Footballers aren't smart. Smart is like Norman Eienstien.


The president is aware of what is going on. Thats not to say something is going on.
LEGEND OF ZELDA

LoZ:OoT - LoZ: MM - LoZ:tWW -
LoZ:OoS - LoZ:OoA - LoZ: ALTTP -
LoZ:tWW - LoZ:tMC - LoZ:TP -
LoZ: PH - LoZ: LA
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victrolabot
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Quote:
 
Max: I'm drowning here! I'm going down for the last time! I... I... I see my whole life flashing before my eyes! I see a weathered old farmhouse... With a white picket fence... I'm running through fields of alfalfa with my collie, Rex. No Rex, not on the alfalfa. And I see my mother... I see Mama, standing on the back porch... And I hear her calling out to me..."Alvin, don't forget your chores! The wood needs a-cordin' and the cows need a-milkin'! Alviiiiin! Aaaaalviiiiiiiiiiiin!"... Wait a minute. My name's not Alvin. That's not my life. Someone else's life is flashing before my eyes. What the hell is that about!?


I used that as a monologue for an audition once. :D

***

"Death the the fascist oppressors! Present company excluded!"
-one of the Discworld books (I've forgotten which) by Terry Pratchet
Edited by victrolabot, Sep 25 2008, 07:10 PM.

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Phrixscreoth
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I saw the producers at the rose theater, and when he is doing the "I'm in Jail, how did it come to be like this" run-down of the show, he stops suddenly at the end of the first act and goes: INTERMISION!

He sits down on the end of his cell bed and starts fliping through a program.

"Hmmm... wow, this guy is pretty good. I mean, he's no Nathan Lane, but..."

LOL
Edited by Phrixscreoth, Sep 25 2008, 07:11 PM.
LEGEND OF ZELDA

LoZ:OoT - LoZ: MM - LoZ:tWW -
LoZ:OoS - LoZ:OoA - LoZ: ALTTP -
LoZ:tWW - LoZ:tMC - LoZ:TP -
LoZ: PH - LoZ: LA
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victrolabot
Member Avatar

*can't believe no one's put up Avenue Q stuff yet*

Kate Monster: The Internet is NOT for porn!
Trekkie, Brian, Princeton, Rod, Gary: Porn, porn-!
Kate Monster: HOLD ON A SECOND! Now, I happen to know for a fact that you, Rod, check your portfolio and trade stocks online.
Rod: That's correct.
Kate Monster: And, Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com!
Brian: Sure!
Kate Monster: And, Gary, you keep selling your possessions on eBay.
Gary: Yes, I do!
Kate Monster: And, Princeton, you sent me that sweet on-line birthday card.
Princeton: True.
Trekkie Monster: Oh, but, Kate, what you think he do after, hmmmm?
Brian, Rod, Gary: *chuckling*
Princeton: Yeah...
Kate: EEEEEW!!

Bad Idea Bears: Smoking makes you skinny! YAY!

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Crixsih
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Lie to me
No glove, no love :3

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among themillions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as towhere thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe weshould put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything,but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a personto use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Dream
Send me a sign
Turn back the clock
Give me some time
I need to break out
And make a new name
Let's open our eyes
To the brand new day
It's a brand new day
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Crixsih
Member Avatar
Lie to me
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
Dream
Send me a sign
Turn back the clock
Give me some time
I need to break out
And make a new name
Let's open our eyes
To the brand new day
It's a brand new day
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Crixsih
Member Avatar
Lie to me
d[>_<]b

how do you get that backwards b?

its called d
Dream
Send me a sign
Turn back the clock
Give me some time
I need to break out
And make a new name
Let's open our eyes
To the brand new day
It's a brand new day
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victrolabot
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Holy hot pockets, someone does not like men.
O.O


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Phrixscreoth
Member Avatar

Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful buisness oppertunity.
LEGEND OF ZELDA

LoZ:OoT - LoZ: MM - LoZ:tWW -
LoZ:OoS - LoZ:OoA - LoZ: ALTTP -
LoZ:tWW - LoZ:tMC - LoZ:TP -
LoZ: PH - LoZ: LA
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