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Funny quotes anyone?
Topic Started: Sep 18 2008, 11:18 PM (603 Views)
Xamad
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Think of some of the funniest quotes you have heard and post 'em


Here are some to get you started:

Make love not war- condoms are cheaper than guns

Virginity is like a bubble one prick and its gone

Before you do it don't forget to rubber your ducky
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Trensik
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"I saw a man with a Mercedes park right in the handicap spot and he walked out and there was nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that?! So i ran him over. Made an honest man out of him! Then his mother came out swinging her crutches at me!......Took her out with the door......" - Jeff Dunham ^^
Edited by Trensik, Sep 19 2008, 12:10 AM.
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victrolabot
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"'My doctor says I have a malformed public-duty gland, and a natural deficiency in moral fibre', he muttered to himself, 'and I am therefore excused from saving universes!'"

~Ford Prefect of Life, the Universe, and Everything by Douglas Adams.

"That's nothing! I once lost my genetics, rocketry and stripping licenses in a single incident!"
~xkcd


"According to Hope, Freud died of kitty leukemia. According to me, Freud died of being trapped in a laundry basket for four days without food or water."

Dr. Finch: Well, the only loophole or way I could see me getting you out of school for any considerable length of time would be for you... to commit suicide.
Augusten Burroughs: You want me to kill myself?
Dr. Finch: Well, if you tried to kill yourself, I could explain to the schoolboard that you were psychologically unfit to attend, and that you needed intensive treatment. It would be a staged suicide attempt. Of course, your poor mother would have to find you and drive you the hospital, where you would stay for three weeks or a month for observation.
Augusten Burroughs: I don't know. It doesn't...
Dr. Finch: Augusten. Where is your spirit of adventure?

Both from the movie Running With Scissors
Edited by victrolabot, Sep 19 2008, 05:48 PM.

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Phrixscreoth
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Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
LEGEND OF ZELDA

LoZ:OoT - LoZ: MM - LoZ:tWW -
LoZ:OoS - LoZ:OoA - LoZ: ALTTP -
LoZ:tWW - LoZ:tMC - LoZ:TP -
LoZ: PH - LoZ: LA
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victrolabot
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I try hard not to think about any accidents in the dark.

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Axsuri
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I wrote a poem about you; and it isn't flattering.
Children and dark?! I'm there!
Posted Image
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Phrixscreoth
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Uh oh...
LEGEND OF ZELDA

LoZ:OoT - LoZ: MM - LoZ:tWW -
LoZ:OoS - LoZ:OoA - LoZ: ALTTP -
LoZ:tWW - LoZ:tMC - LoZ:TP -
LoZ: PH - LoZ: LA
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victrolabot
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O.o

"Inconceivable!"
"I do not think that word means what you think it does"

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Xale
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*raep face*
victrolabot
Sep 24 2008, 09:28 PM
O.o

"Inconceivable!"
"I do not think that word means what you think it does"
I love Princess Bride!!
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Sansixa
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~Thus, I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity...~
XDD Yesh! Great movie!

A few of my favourites from The Producers!!! The 2005 movie version is the only one I've seen, though... >.>;; I love Nathan Lane!!!

Max: Don't you see? There's a lot more to you than there is to you! *mouths to himself* What the fuck?
~
Max: I just want you to know, even though we're sitting down, we are giving you a standing ovation.
~
Max: I'm drowning here! I'm going down for the last time! I... I... I see my whole life flashing before my eyes! I see a weathered old farmhouse... With a white picket fence... I'm running through fields of alfalfa with my collie, Rex. No Rex, not on the alfalfa. And I see my mother... I see Mama, standing on the back porch... And I hear her calling out to me..."Alvin, don't forget your chores! The wood needs a-cordin' and the cows need a-milkin'! Alviiiiin! Aaaaalviiiiiiiiiiiin!"... Wait a minute. My name's not Alvin. That's not my life. Someone else's life is flashing before my eyes. What the hell is that about!?
~
Leo: Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine.
~
Carmen: And so the rule is, when mounting a... play. Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay!

....I'm done... >.>;;
We are small but we are many
We are many we are small
We were here before you rose
We will be here when you fall.
We have teeth and we have tails
We have tails we have eyes
We were here before you fell
You will be here when we rise.
We have eyes and we have nerveses
We have tails we have teeth
You'll all get what you deserveses
When we rise from underneath.

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