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The Confession; SwitchBlade vs. PKA
Topic Started: Jun 15 2011, 10:20 PM (49 Views)
SwitchBlade
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The scene fades in to an image of a room with a press conference table followed by the murmurs and whispers of people, likely reporters, sitting on the opposite side. The Warped logo can be seen on the curtains in the back, and a few businessmen are sitting on the sides of the table. The center chair remains empty. After a few seconds, a door on the northeastern side of the room opens and SwitchBlade appears dressed in a three piece suit with his hair greased back and his trademark sunglasses on. Right away the reporters get up off their feet and shout numerous questions to SwitchBlade whiles camera flash from one section to another. SwitchBlade raises his arms and gestures for the reporters to sit back down and relax. They do so, and eventually SwitchBlade makes it to his seat. He then grabs a microphone placed on the table and taps it a couple times before speaking.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen of the press. Thank you all for being here today. The news I’m here to present to you all is not only of great importance, but it will surely rock the very foundation of Warped Wrestling. Now as we all know, rumors have been circulating for a number of months now, but it has only been until very recently that one of the voices got so loud, it led me no choice but to issue a statement here today. The man who brought this bit of news to our attention, Mr. Patrick Kay Anthony, felt that I should admit this and not hide the truth anymore. And for once I agree with Mr. Anthony. I should not have to hide certain details to you the viewers, and to the media in this room. That is why I have planned this press conference, and that is why I am going to make my announcement. So thank you, Mr. Patrick Kay Anthony.”

SwitchBlade looks to the men at his left and right and points them out with a wave of his hand.

“Also, I should point out that my lawyers, due to their hard work and dedication to uncovering the loopholes of the judicial system, have made it my legal right to make this announcement without any danger of facing a potential prison sentence later on, and to them I say thank you for making this possible for me.”

SwitchBlade shakes hands with a couple of the lawyers before continuing.

“Now…”

SwitchBlade grabs a bottle of water, unscrews the top and takes a sip of the water. He then wipes the small trace of sweat building up on his forehead with a handkerchief in his breast pocket.

“Pardon me, I’m a bit nervous about this. It’s my first time. But, I’m just going to get it over with and make my announcement right here and now.”

SwitchBlade takes another sip of water. He wipes more sweat away.

“I, SwitchBlade, have a confession to make. I’ve held this secret for over a year now, and now it’s time for the truth to set me free. I, SwitchBlade, a member of Warped Wrestling…”

SwitchBlade takes a third sip followed by a third wiping of his forehead.

“…think PKA is a douchebag. There, I said it.”

The reporters get up from their seats again. Audible gasps can be heard from a number of them, and the camera flashes are brighter than ever. SwitchBlade looks nervous, but manages to regain his composure and raises a hand to try and calm the press. One lawyer on the far end of the table looks sick to his stomach and looks ready to vomit on the table.

“Please folks, settle down.”

After awhile the reporters finally sit back down, but their eyes show just how disgusted they are with SwitchBlade. The former champ nods his head.

“I understand what you all must think of me. But I have to be honest with you all, and especially with myself. I have found PKA to be a douchebag for a very long time. It started innocently enough when I only considered him a jerk. Once I got to know him though, I got little carried away and started calling him an asshole, but I never meant to hurt anyone. It was harmless fun. But I couldn’t lie to myself about my personal feelings for PKA, and one day I knew what had to be done. So I called him a douchebag. I’m sorry if that offends any of you, but that is how I honestly feel, and you cannot change what I believe. In fact, I think PKA is by FAR the biggest douchebag in all of Warped Wrestling. Far bigger than the likes of Crowbar and Korrupt. And you know what? Someday I hope that, in the near future, I can one day consider PKA to be MORE than a douchebag. In fact I hope to call him…a cocksucker!”

The reporters are nearly at an uproar by this point, and even a couple of the lawyers get up and walk out on SwitchBlade. The lawyer in the far corner of the table finally vomits.

“ I STAND BY WHAT I HAVE SAID! YOU CANNOT DENY MY RIGHT OF FREE SPEECH!”

The reporters start to quiet down a bit, and SwitchBlade drinks more of the water before finishing.

“Okay…now I will be taking questions at this time.”

One of the reporters, a young woman who looks appalled at the whole situation, raises her arm up. SwitchBlade points at her.

“Yes, you miss.”

“Mr. SwitchBlade,” she quickly replies, “There are some people who feel that these actions are both morally and ethically wrong and should be put to a stop. What would you say in response to these critics?”

“Well…to them I say, mind your own business. It shouldn’t matter to them what people do behind closed doors. I should be allowed to call PKA a douchebag in privacy without having someone hassling me with questions and scandalous rumors. Live your life the way you want to, but don’t go judging others before you start judging yourself. There are people far more disturbing than me.”

“Mr. SwitchBlade!”

Another reporter, an older man with grey hair and a rotund belly, raises his arm and SwitchBlade points to him.

“Mr. SwitchBlade, how will your statement affect your match with PKA, the very man whom you call a…well, you know?”

“Simple answer: it won’t. When I step into the ring, nothing else matters by that point except winning. I’ll do the best I can to win the match and become number one contender to the Warped World Heavyweight Championship. Quite frankly, it won’t matter that PKA is a douchebag when we start to wrestle one another. But rest assured, after the match, win or lose I will go back to calling him a douchebag. That’s how I do things.”

A reporter way back stands up and waves his arm.

“Sir! Mr. SwitchBlade!”

“Yes, you in the back. What’s your question?”

“Umm…well sir, it’s just that most people in Warped have seen you as a hero of sorts. You’re the good guy who fights back against the bad guys and wins for the people. Doesn’t calling PKA such vulgar terms go against this? Won’t it change who you are as a person?”

SwitchBlade chuckles.

“Well…I suppose some might find it hard to swallow. BUT…I am, without any lack of certainty, the same SwitchBlade who first stepped through Warped’s doors over a year ago. Sure, I tried to be morally right and do what’s best for the people, but I went through a lot of shit over the past few months. I had a lot of issues that concerned not only myself, but the people who support me. This isn’t a movie or a television show. This is the real world. I can’t be the ultimate good guy. We all have flaws, we all have demons that haunt us deep down. I had to expose one of my demons here today, but I have more. But none of that should matter when it comes to my professional wrestling career. What I do in the ring, and what I do outside it, are two different worlds that should never, ever collide. Grendel made the mistake of doing so way back when, and I can’t forgive him for it. When the time comes he and I will settle things once and for all. But for now, the focus should remain on the Warped tournament finals.”

A few more reporters have their arms up, but SwitchBlade shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, but that’s all the questions I’ll be taking today. If you want you may discuss things with my lawyers, at least the ones that are still here. As for me, I will be off to train by myself so that I will be better prepared for my match with PKA at Warped 28. Thank you all for your time.

As SwitchBlade drops his microphone and gets up from his seat the reporters get up and start shouting out questions. SwitchBlade waves them off, grabs his water, and drinks it as he steps to the back to collect his thoughts. The lawyers get up and try to calm the reporters down. The scene soon fades to the sound of cameras going off.

[And the storybook closes. Well that was a fun, wasn’t it? Maybe you picked up on what I was trying to say there. A certain Mr. PKA tried to get the better of me this week. He tried to get inside my head and fuck with it. But really, PKA? Really? Pedophile jokes? THAT’S what you were going to use to try and break me? I bet you think you’re a clever guy for comparing me to a certain Senator. But unfortunately for you, joking about my relationship with Claire has been done by so many other people that it’s getting old in its age. I appreciate the effort though. I mean your theory already went down the drain when you consider the fact that I haven’t even SEEN Claire in three or four months, and what little communication we have has nothing to do with “massaging”, or whatever it was your twisted little mind was thinking about. Aren’t we adults, PKA? Can’t we belittle and insult one another without having to step into the pedo jokes? Maybe you didn’t understand my little reporter scenario I created, but the point was that people’s private matters should be kept to themselves. No matter what you may think of me in everyday life, in Warped, and more specifically in that very ring where we will do battle, you should learn to respect what it is I do.]

[“Why should I?” you ask. “You’re just an old man past his prime!”]

[Oh how I LOVE IT when you guys say that. Really, I can’t get enough. And the best part is watching the look in their eyes when they realize that they were just beaten by me. They can’t believe it. They wonder how the Hell it happened, and they question who they are as wrestlers. They really don’t get it, and neither do you PKA. You don’t get it because you don’t WANT to get it. You know for a fact that if you did, if you saw the truth about me and openly admitted to what I can do in a wrestling ring, you would be very afraid. I’m no boogeyman, I’m no monster looking to kill his victims. No, I’m much scarier than that. I’m real. My record is real. My laundry list of people whom I’ve defeated not only in Warped but in other federations across the globe, is as real as you are. And that scares you, PKA. You don’t want to admit that someone out there is better than you, and you certainly don’t want to admit that this certain someone who is better than you could be almost twenty years your senior. Yeah, maybe I am heading past my prime. Maybe I’m not the young blood I once was. But if my past wins are any indication, I haven’t missed a beat just yet. I’m doing pretty damn good, and that’s not just me being cocky. That’s me having been reawakened, reborn as a new man with a new, yet familiar goal. It’s alright to be afraid of me. Just don’t show it in the ring.]

[PKA, I’m not afraid of you or your FnX rules. And I can prove that by openly admitting a few things. You’re younger, stronger, and probably a lot quicker in the ring than I am. You’re hardcore lifestyle far surpasses my own, and you can endure the kind of pain that I just can’t withstand these days. PKA, there’s a reason you’re in the finals of this tournament. I’m not an idiot, I can see just how good you are. You hide it though. For whatever reason you hide your true potential behind the likes of Crowbar and Korrupt. You form this stable, this group called “The Movement”, and you play yourself as the ringleader, the guy who commands the brutes to do what he says. That’s not what I see in you. That’s not who I want to wrestle. I want to wrestle THE PKA, the Ultraviolent Perfectionist, the man who once famously said “No Fear, No Limits, Just pain,” the man who takes a beating and asks for more because he’s the kind of sick fuck who enjoys it.]

[You want me in an FnX match? YOU GOT IT! I’ve been in those matches before, and I’ll be in plenty more in the future I’m sure. If I can’t handle a no rules, no disqualification match, then I don’t even deserve to lace up my boots and enter the Warped arena every week. Just do me this one little favor, grant me this one simple request: don’t rely on your friends. Don’t get Crowbar and Korrupt involved in this match. You’re better than that, I know you are. Let it be just you and me, one on one, winner takes all. We can find out who the best man truly is. You don’t need bodyguards to prove who you are. Please, PKA…don’t be a douchebag. Prove to me that you are as great as you say you are. Show me that you’re the kind of dog with bite to back up his bark. Leave your friends behind, and I’ll leave my personal agenda backstage. This week, at Warped 28, we are going to own the ring. And oh yes…it WILL be hardcore.]

[That’s not a promise, that’s not a guarantee…]

[That’s destiny.]
Edited by SwitchBlade, Jun 16 2011, 01:23 PM.
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