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Speaking of Jokes
Topic Started: May 30 2011, 02:10 PM (82 Views)
CraigCohen
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The scene fades into sunny Sacramento, California at a local bar. Sitting at a booth, wearing his trademark beanie and red & black studded necklace with a tanktop on is Craig Cohen. His feet are propped up on the booth style bench in which he is seated on, arms resting behind his head, and a smirk on his face.

CRAIG COHEN: "I have to hand it to you, Rico... you have a set of balls. You won't stop coming at me, challenging me, constantly persuing me. You're seeking out a fight with me is like someone putting a twenty dollar bill in a room and saying 'find it' - there'd be no stopping me. See, I can make jokes, and I can identify them too. Speaking of jokes...Rico is a joke. Alexander Starrzoe is a joke. You're both jokes. I don't care to associate myself with the likes of you. But, that’s me – I’ve always had a problem associating myself with bullshit.”

Noticing that a young waitress is on her way over, he pauses. She comes over to the table with a champagne bucket, opening the ice cold bottle and pouring Double C a glass. He takes a sip, nods his head in approval and pulls out his wallet. Craig pulls out a hundred, shakes his head, and puts it back in. He takes out a twenty, and looks up at her. He holds it up and she goes to take it, but he pulls back. Instead, he hands her a five dollar bill. She is displeased, but has to smile and continue on her way.

CRAIG COHEN: "I sit out here in my beautiful hometown of Sac and I can't help but think of how ridiculous my opponent is at the next show. WARPED 27, its yours truly, the Chosen JEW, and a newcomer Alexander Starrzoe. Apparently, he's a big deal, in his own mind at least. Somehow he has himself convinced that I'm the joke, not him. Just like Rico Calle, he is underestimating me. This is pro wrestling - this is what I love. Professional Wrestling has afforded me the opportunity to travel the world, sleep with beautiful women, and beat up a bunch of individuals, whose names I can’t remember, even though I have the scars on my knuckles to prove that these bouts really exist. Wrestling has allowed me to live a life that ordinary people could only dream of. Thing is, everything in life comes with a price - and there's no chance I'd do this for free. I get paid a fair amount, but to be honest, its not enough. Perhaps management hasn't seen what I can truly do in that ring just yet. Well, boys, I'll show you."

CRAIG COHEN: "Alexander Starrzoe, you sound like reality hasn't sunk in just yet. Go on with your awful Jewish jokes. Like I haven't heard those time and time again. Stop living in a make-believe world where you're the biggest thing ever. Your demise is in the works already, thanks to you and your inability to separate fact from fairy tale, your clouded ideals and misguided views of loyalty that’re going to ultimately be your undoing before you ever get going here in WARPED, signed, sealed and delivered with a picture perfect C4. Now ain't that just great? Sure it is. And So..Am..I."

Cohen takes a drink of his champagne and sets the glass down, continuing on.

CRAIG COHEN: "For all of your Starr power and epicness that you present, I can’t help but think that you’re just like everyone else around here, hard on the outside, as soft as the Kleenex I blow my snot in. But, unlike you, Alex… Double C ain't gonna go into our match and assume a bunch of things because I’ve heard rumors about you, or think I know what to expect because I'm a know-it-all, I’m going to train like you are the toughest opponent I’ve ever faced, and expose you for the punk that you are. And then, I'll take care of that little punk Rico Calle, and ascend to the top of the ranks here in WARPED, and make the money I SHOULD be making."

CRAIG COHEN: "See, this is only the beginning for me, Alex. For you, its the end. And if you don't like it then too damn bad. Double C is on a mission, and that is to make my point be heard loud and clear. My point being is that I..Am The Chosen Jew. I am the future of this company, and hell, one day I might even own it. So choke on that, beeotch!”

He drinks his champagne now and the scene fades out.
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