Welcome Guest
[Log In]
[Register]
| Welcome to The Order Alliance. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means that you do not have the required alliance status to view the secret sections of this board. If you would like to be privy to suck knowledge please create an account below and apply in the applications section. The Futures Bright the Futures Order! Create an Account Here If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| And thats when the fight started...; LOL | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: May 24 2010, 07:52 AM (392 Views) | |
| Black Gemini | May 24 2010, 07:52 AM Post #1 |
|
1) I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.... ______________________________________________________________________ 2) Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's when the fight started.... ______________________________________________________________________ 3) A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's when the fight started.... ______________________________________________________________________ 4) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's when the fight started.... |
![]() |
|
| Mass Murder | May 24 2010, 09:22 AM Post #2 |
![]()
|
haha quality keep them comin mate |
![]() |
|
| Chris M | May 24 2010, 01:46 PM Post #3 |
|
The King of Kings
|
HAHA those are hilarious! |
![]() |
|
| Deleted User | May 25 2010, 01:44 AM Post #4 |
|
Deleted User
|
His Jokes are what won me over to stop raiding him. |
|
|
| GHaze | May 25 2010, 02:03 AM Post #5 |
|
great jokes loved them all |
![]() |
|
| Black Gemini | May 25 2010, 11:11 AM Post #6 |
|
haha thanks, and dont mind how the jokes are said im a girl |
![]() |
|
| Black Gemini | May 25 2010, 11:27 AM Post #7 |
|
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.' Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma,it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.' |
![]() |
|
| Black Gemini | May 25 2010, 11:31 AM Post #8 |
|
Chinese Customs Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai . He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region . He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens . Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the drive-way, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum. The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says , "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you." The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs." "What do you mean mate," says the Aussie. "Those aren't Australian customs." "Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bull-shit." |
![]() |
|
| Mass Murder | May 25 2010, 11:43 AM Post #9 |
![]()
|
haha awsome |
![]() |
|
| Black Gemini | May 25 2010, 11:48 AM Post #10 |
|
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show. "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face." |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Spam · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
1:51 AM Jul 11
|
Skin created by Valleri. Find more great skins at the ZB Theme Zone.








1:51 AM Jul 11