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We All Sleep Alone (songfic)
Topic Started: Jul 10 2010, 07:28 PM (303 Views)
Neilmoon
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New Raider
[ * ]
WE ALL SLEEP ALONE
Neil Burns (Neilmoon)
PG-13 (slight references not exactly "family-friendly" :$ )

based on Cher's 1988 hit. enjoy and comment. ^_^

Somebody somewhere
turns out the light

Winston frowned as he saw the approaching blue Mustang the crypt and Cher's
slightly off-key alto warbling serenading his ears. Alex West got out and, wiping
his eyes, picked up a boquet from the passenger seat and walked over.

"Mr. West," the butler greeted coolly.

"Winston," the mercenary replied. "You look well."

"So do you, sir. May I inquire as to why you are here instead of on some
expedition fianced by some megalomaniac or 'skirt-chasing'?"

You may have lovers
wherever you roam

Sooner or later
we all sleep alone

Alex smiled at the older man's subtle sarcasm as the chorus echoed in
his mind. 'We all sleep alone indeed.' He was a womanizer, yet each girl
he charmed was not Lara, but some poor substitute just to feed his ego.

"To answer your question, I'm here to pay my respects."

"That seems unlikely, sir," the older man snorted in a manner that did not
fit his reserved manner.

"True. However, I haven't had a job in months and the only skirt worth
chasing is no longer with us because of a million to one mishap."

A million to one indeed. The Tomb Raider always seemed to have an endless
wellspring of luck on her side. She tempted Fate time and time again and
alway prevailed. She flirted with Death like a lover and danced on the razor's
edge without cutting herself. Until now. This time Fate had caught up with
her. This time Death prevailed. This time the razor cut her. Fatally.

"Who would've thought," Alex mused while rubbing his eyes. "Lara could
raid tombs and avoid traps in her sleep. All that, only to take her prize and
find out too late it was poisoned."

"Yes," Winston sighed. "The Chouri were insidious like that. They would
coat their treasures with a slow contact poison so anyone who stole them
would not live long enough to enjoy them. I fear there is no known antidote."

"I'm amazed the poison would work after all this time, but then I myself
have had some nasty surprises and, bless her, Lara would be there to
pull my balls out of the fire."

"Forgive me, Mr. West, but you didn't deserve her."

"Truer words never spoken," West smiled dryly. "She was frustrating,
annoying, maddening to the point you wanted to strangle her, yet witty,
intelligent, sharp, funny. In short: one helluva woman and I loved her."

"Your actions suggested otherwise, sir."

"Yeah, a miracle she didn't give me a good swift kick in the cajones."

"Indeed. Do you always work for clients who would want Lady Croft
dead, sir?"

"Contrary to what you might think, no. A lot of clients either have never
heard of her, as unlikely as that sounds, or they simply have no beef
with her. It's just those few who ruin it."

"Ahh. a few rotten apples spoils it for the whole bushel?"

"Exactly. Fortunately, she forgave me two Christmases ago for the
prayer wheels. So, we're good there. Did she ever tell you about her little
visit to my place?"

The older man frowned in disapproval, though West easily detected a hint
of admiration for his surrogate daughter.

"She did," Winston intoned. "However, I never approved of her illegal
activities or taste for...fetish. It must have been quite a shock, sir."

"Tell me about it," the American chuckled. "I'm sleeping and it's midnight.
Suddenly, a loud clap of thunder wakes me up."

"And you found yourself tied up and gagged. I fail to see the appeal or
'sexual satisfaction' of this."

"A matter of taste. I'm not exactly into the S&M crowd myself, but to each
his own. Anyway, Lara's straddling me dressed like Catwoman and she goes
from teasing me to :censored: ing me out to teasing me again. Of course, she stole
the mask from me to top it off."

"You did steal it from her first, sir."

"Touche. At least she compensated me for it. Unlike Chase."

"Your cousin."

"Yeah. Lara could be a real pain in the tukus to work with. To donate your
findings is all well and good, but for us regular folk who don't have the family
fortune to play with, some of those artifacts are worth serious cake. Cake
that can be used to pay the bills. Instead, they wind up in either a museum
or Lara's private collection."

"She did send her collection to auction on ocassion, Mr. West."

"Yeah," West chuckled. "The amount of money thrown around? Not in my
wildest dreams. Thanks for the thought, though. Did Lara ever forgive
Chase for the coins? I never asked either of them."

"She did so this past Easter. She invited the Carvers and the Takahisis to
dine with her and she privately told Mr. Carver he was forgiven for using the
coins to pay off his gambling debts."

"That's our girl. Of course, she really had a hard time of letting things go
and realizing that people are human and are entitled to make mistakes."

"That is true," Winston concurred. "However, you and Mr. Carver tended to
commit the same mistake time and time again. Therefore, it became more
and more difficult for Lady Croft to trust either of you."

Both men looked back at the crypt and the name CROFT carved above the
entryway before entering. They came across the most recent coffin resting
between those of Sir Richard Croft and Lady Abigail Croft, Lara's grandmother.
The inscription was simple, succint and elegant.

LARA AMELIA CROFT
14 FEBRUARY 1968
9 SEPTEMBER 2009
DEATH IS BUT THE NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE

Alex smiled at the Harry Potter reference as he placed the boquet he carried
onto the coffin and knelt down, placing one hand on the lid. Winston followed
suit, albeit with some difficulty, and both men recited the Our Father and Hail
Mary before rising to their feet.

"Rest in peace, Lady Croft," Winston solemnly intoned. "May your sould be
at peace."

"Goodbye, Lara." Alex wiped a tear away as he kissed his hand and placed it
on the lid. "See you in the afterlife. I'll always love you."

The two men shook hands and gave each other a brief consoling embrace
before seperating and leaving the crypt to go their seperate ways.

THE END

here we are. some minor action references though I'll see if my muses can
induce some action tales. peace all. B-)
Good luck in your new bed. Enjoy your nightmare, son, while you're resting your head.-
BASEMENT JAXX
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