Holiday Hijinks

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Holiday Hijinks
Topic Started: Aug 29 2009, 09:12 PM (103 Views)
Neilmoon	Aug 29 2009, 09:12 PM Post #1
New Raider Posts: 20 Group: Members Member #32 Joined: Jan 31, 2009 Your favorite TR? TR:A Male or Female Male	HOLIDAY HIJINKS (a TOMB RAIDER/WITCHBLADE crossover) Neil Burns (Neilmoon) PG (PG-13?) our lovelies are owned and copyrighted by TOP COW. I am merely borrowing them. enjoy and comments are welcome. "This is terrific, Lara! We needed this." Sara Pazzini and Lara Croft were on a three-month vacation at San Carolina. It had been a rather rough time for Lara dealing with a madman who wanted to use the Rapture to open a portal to Hell, as well as one J. MacAuley Allgood who wanted her dead for ruining his plans. Sara had problems of her own dealing with half-demons migrating from Los Angeles and needing to enlist bioexorcist John Constantine for help. "It was your idea, love," Lara smiled, taking a sip from her pina colada. "I just know the travel agent." "Do you mind if I put him on speed dial for future reference?" "Not at all. Just tell him you know me and he'll give you a good discount." Lara gave the waitress their order and sat back. Both ladies were dressed in T-shirts and jeans. Suddenly, four men dressed as cowboys appeared as another waiter appeared with an arrangement of roses and champagne. "Courtesy of the gentleman, miss," the waiter stated before leaving. The men sang the opening to "They Call The Wind Mariah" as Chase Carver entered on a white horse dressed in white pants, white boots, white cowboy hat and a pink shirt with white trim. The music then started into the melody as the treasure hunter rode to the two women who were laughing. "Way out here they got a name," he sang in a beautiful tenor, "for rain and wind and fire. The rain is Tess, the fire Joe. And they call the wind Mariah." The song was a thinly veiled reference to Chase and Lara's relationship and the regret he felt for betraying her. At the end, he knelt and pulled a rose out of his sleeve and gave it to a surprised and touched Lara Croft as he held the final note, eliciting thunderous applause from the patrons, including a certain Witchblade owner. "DAMN!" Sara exclaimed. "Boyfriend can SANG! That was so sweet!" "Thank you, my dear," Chase oozed. "Chase Carver. Who might you be, my dear?" "Detective Sara Pazzini of the New York Police Department," Lara interjected. "Oooh." Chase jokingly held his hands out. "Arrest me. I've been a bad boy." "Please do. You'd be doing the bloody world a favor." "So, what brings lovelies, such as yourselves to this paradise?" "Lara and I are on vacation," Sara replied. "There is supposedly a huge treasure armada sunk of the coast of here and we're planning on exploring the wrecks. You?" "Same thing. I'm on a two-week vacation and figured I'd do some diving as well." "Well, sorry, cowboy," Lara purred patting his cheek. "This is a 'ladies only' vacation." "Mine's a kind of stag trip as well. Doesn't mean we can't hook up." "Tell you what. You stay out of our way and we'll stay out of yours on the dive. Maybe then we can have dinner or spend an evening on the town. Deal?" "Done." "BLOODY ING HELL!" Lara stormed on to the chartered boat and tore off her mask and fins, throwing them off to the side. She and Sara had spent the better part of the morning exploring the wrecks and underwater caverns. The crystal clear turquoise water and multicolored fish and reefs painted an exotic portrait. Unfortunately, that was all they got. Wherever they went, there were little white knights left. As the Tomb Raider unleashed a long blistering string of very unladylike expletives, Sara climbed on board holding one of the knights. "What does this mean?" she asked. "It's Chase's bloody calling card!," Lara growled. "Like the other wrecks he has beaten us to. He leaves it to tell the others that he's the forerunner. This is just like Monaco! He knew I was researching this area's history and the Spanish treasure ships and figured he could beat me to the punch!" "I see. Well, not to cause drama between you and your staff, but before we boarded, I saw Chase and your tech friend talking. Skinny. Boyish face. Dark hair." "Bryce?" Lara's eyebrows arched skyward. "What's he doing here?" "No idea, but I think he was recording Chase seranading you with a Camcorder." "Oh, God!" Lara groaned. "Blackmail material. I think Mr. Bryce and I need to have a chat." Suddenly, the black wetsuit-clad Raidr smiled. The seductive smile of a black widow toying with her prey before devouring them. "I think a chat would be just the thing." Bryce sat on the beach working on his laptop while talking to Zip back in England on his Bluetooth. The two techs had been hired by Chase to research the armada and the current value of its bounty. A shadow fell over him. "Mr. Bryce." A familiar posh alto tickled his ears. "Fancy meeting you here." "Who are--" Bryce looked up and his mouth dropped open "OH MY GOD!" Standing above him with hands gracefully on her hips, lips curved into a smug, almost predatory grin, was a completely nude Tomb Raider. An amused eyebrow arched gently skyward. "Working on holiday?" she purred. "This will never do." "Lara?" the tech tried not to stammer. "What are--no wait! You're on holiday--Why-- what--." "Surely you noticed this is a nudist beach." "I may have peeked a time or two." "I bet Chase is somewhere nearby taking pictures with a telephoto to pleasure himself to later. Sound familiar?" "Dear God, don't remind me! Besides, I didn't use a telephoto lens." The Tomb Raider knelt next to Bryce, her expression softening as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Seriously. Why are you here, Bryce?" "Working holiday, like you said." The tech tried to keep his eyes averted while trying to fight the urge to jump on her and take her right then and there. "Would your employer be Chase Carver? Sara told me you two were talking this morning." Silence answered her question. Lara started stroking the back of Bryce's head "Bryce, why are you working for him?" "First off, nothing has changed between us." Lara raised an amused eyebrow as the tech realized his statement and its connotation. His face turned a bright red. "Let me rephrase that. Our friendship hasn't changed. Carter hired me and Zip to do some research on this treasure armada as a side project for some extra coin. Before you ask, he told us to make sure the research didn't interfere with yours. His reason? I quote: 'I do not want another screwup like Monaco.' " "So your research and mine are mutually exclusive?" "Yeah. The fact that you and your friend are here is purely coincidental." Lara's smile widened as she patted the tech's cheek and turned his head so he looked her in the eye. "You can keep your head this time. How much is he paying you and Zip?" "Well, what Carver gets for the treasure, and you can bet it'll be a bloody fortune, me and Zip each get a third. Enough for a little nest egg for when I retire." "Wonderful. Why don't you join Sara and I for dinner tonight? My shout." "As far I know, I ain't got anything going on. So I guess I'm free." "Good. See you at seven." It was midnight when the elevator opened and two brunette women clad in black turtlenecks and jeans padded barefoot out and down the hall, looking around to make sure they were alone. "Lara?" Sara asked. "Exactly what are we doing?" "We are having a nice chat with Chase," the Tomb Raider purred. "At midnight?" "This is a rare occurence. Romeo is usually out at all hours, crawling into bed at about five or six in the morning." "You know I heard about your 'midnight visits' to Alex West and Conrad Larson. I didn't know you were into bondage." "Whatever works," Lara shrugged. "Besides, they enjoyed every minute of it." "You're lucky they didn't press charges." "I have diplomatic immunity, constable. That means I could assassinate dear Barak and your laws couldn't touch me." the two ladies stopped at a door and Lara took out the card she "borrowed" from the nightime concergie. "Here we are." "He did those sweet things for you and this is how you thank him?" "Look, love," Lara turned to her friend. "I am flattered by his attempts, but I am with Kurtis now. Besides, he's screwed me over so many times I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him." "Still--" "No! He didn't just steal the coins from me, he ripped out a part of my soul and I can't forgive him for that. Look, if you want to go back, the lift is back that way." She pointed over Sara's shoulder as she clicked open the door to the treasure hunter's room. "Otherwise, keep quiet and let's go." "I hope I don't regret this. If we get arrested, I'll never speak to you again." The two entered and pulled out tiny flashlights to search as Lara closed the door. She saw a laptop on the counter and walked over to activate it. "Lara!" Sara hissed. "What are you doing!" "Let's see." The Raider mused. "Location of wrecks. Value of treasure. List of interested buyers. Here we are. Zip and Bryce's research. What do you know. Bryce was telling the truth." "Lara! Why the hell do you care! Chase is only here for two weeks while we're here for three months. There are plenty of wrecks for all three of us to explore. Let him have the treasure! This is not a competition! It's not a big deal!" "It's called principle. I don't like losing, no matter what it is and no matter to whom. Chase makes it a competition with those stupid knights he leaves behind! Whatever! We're here to have a chat with him, not argue." "Then what? Tie him up and jump him?" She immediately regretted her words as Lara's smile widened evilly. "That is not a bad idea. Too bad I forgot my handcuffs. Guess we'll have to make do with the 'jumpin' part." The two women snuck toward the bed and turned on the light. Sure enough, Chase was blissfully snoring away, oblivious to having wanted guests in his room. Lara knelt on him and stroked his hair. "Isn't he cute?" the Raider cooed, patting his cheek. "Wakey wakey! Hands off snakey!" "Wha--who--" Chase moaned as he stirred and pried open his eyes. "Lara?!" "No, darling. This is only a dream." Lara leaned over to kiss his cheek. "This was her idea, not mine," Sara interjected with her hands raised in a 'dont-look- at-me' gesture. "I wanted no part of it." "Well," the treasure hunter grinned, "I wasn't planning a threesome, but I'm flexible." "Sorry, darling," Lara chuckled. "This isn't a social call." "Damn. Another time perhaps?" "Maybe. I had a chat with Bryce this morning and imagine my surprise when I found out that you had hired he and Zip to research the treasure fleet for you. The same one I researched before coming here with Sara." "Yeah." Chase's grin broadened. "I saw you two talking and your lovely 'non-attire'. I did hire him, but what he does in his offtime is his business." "So you don't mind him having dinner with the competition?" "You're his boss, Red. You sign the checks. This is just some extra pocketchagen for he and Zip." "Bryce said that you three split the take." "Yeah. Third for each of us. Only fair given the legwork they've done. Hope you appreciate them, Red. They're real gems." "I do." Lara gave Chase's cheek another stroke and kiss. "I'm flattered at your gestures, but I'm with Kurtis now." "Well, if you get tired of Frisbee Boy, let me know." Suddenly, Lara whipped out a pair of handcuffs and forced Chase's hands through the top railing of the bed, slapping them on his wrists. She then tore his tanktop off and gagged him with it, to Sara's shock. "You said you forgot the handcuffs!" Ms. Witchblade chided. "I lied," the Tomb Raider purred, turning back to a protesting treasure hunter who struggled to free himself. "Sorry, pet, but you've beaten us to the wrecks at least five days in a row. You, Zip and Bryce have more than enough money to set you up for life. Let someone else have a turn." "That's it!" Sara cut in. "I'm leaving!" Lara saw her friend leave in disgust before turning back to a helpless Chase Carver, her expression one of a cat cornering a prey and toying with it. "Well, Mr. Carter. I guess it's just the two of us now. Whatever shall we do?" A low suggestive chuckle tickled Chase's ears as numerous naughty ideas paraded through a certain Tomb Raider's mind. "I can't believe you did that, Lara." Lara Croft and Sara Pazinni had spent the following day diving in the clear azure waters and discovered four Portugese treasure ships. During lunch, Lara spoke to the local museum representative about donating the treasure. They were now lying on the beach enjoying mojitos. "Why?" Lara queried while sipping her drink. "First off, he obviously has feelings for you and is sorry for Monaco if he's willing to make a complete idiot of himself publicly. Why can't you forgive him and let it go? Secondly, I told you. This is NOT a competition! Let him do what he wants!" "And I told you I don't like losing or someone else getting there before me. As for Chase, sweet lovable doofus he is, he is a greedy self-centered, self-serving . It's not the coins, it's the principle. He took advantage of not only my research, but my insecurity and vulnerability. He not only broke my heart, but tore out a bit of my soul." "Lara-" "No! He's like Alex! Both screw me over, then apologize and promise to change their ways only to pull the same crap again and again." A waitress appeared with a tray. On it was an ivory knight and a note. "A Mr. Knight aske me to give this to you ladies," she stated. "Thank you," Sara said, taking the note and reading it as the waitress left. "What does it say?" Lara queried. "THAT !" "What?" "Listen to this. 'Hey, Red. Thanks for finding those Portugese ships. The 'museum', aka Senor Xavier Costa, is very grateful. Your cuts are in your room this very minute. Take care and thank you again. Sincerely Chase Carver, aka C. C. Knight. P.S. About last night, Red. Consider us even." "What did I tell you?" "What did he mean 'our cuts'?" "Our payment for discovering the treasure. If you'll forgive me, I think I'll have a word with a certain Mr. C. C. Knight." "God! I feel like such an idiot!" "Welcome to my world. I'll be right back." Lara drained her mojito and got to her feet. She then walked into the hotel lobby and headed toward the bar, not caring that she only wore a barely there black bikini. She entered the bar and found Chase and Bryce discussing their lasted dive. Lara headed over, ignoring the wolf whistles and catcalls. She then stood next to Bryce and patted his cheek while looking directly at the treasure hunter. "Mr. Bryce?" Lara cooed. "Would you be a dear and keep Sara company while Mr. Carter and I discuss some business?" Bryce got up and wordlessly left. "Well," Chase grinned as Lara sat down. "You sure know how to make an entrance, Red. To what do I owe the pleasure?" "You tell me, 'C.C. Knight," Lara smiled acidly. "You figured it out. Impressive." "Not really. C.C. Chase Carver. Knight. The piece you alway leave behind on a dive or a dig." "What were you playing at this morning? You assured Bryce that this wasn't going to be like bloody Monaco!" "Wasn't supposed to be, honeybunch," Chase drawled as he finished his beer and signalled to the waiter for another one, "but last night sort of changed the rules." "I thought you were into bondage," Lara purred while running a bare foot along his leg. "Not when I have to explain to housekeeping why I was tied up in the first place. Contrary to what you might think, I'm not the competitive one, you are." "Really? Then why leave the knights?" "So people will know the dig or dive is spoken for. That's all." "Really." "You know, whenever we worked together, I bet it was so you wouldn't compete with me." "I thought you enjoyed my company." Lara stole a sip from Chase's second beer. "Sure. Not allowing me a say. Throwing Monaco in my face every five minutes. Taking money I needed to pay the bills out of my pocket by donating every frigging thing. A real slice." "I didn't allow you a say because of Monaco. You blew over three hundred thousand of my money at the craps table and you stole my coins to cover your debts." "For Christ's sake!" Chase groaned. "That was a hundred years ago! Will you get over it!" The Tomb Raider jammed her foot against his crotch and twisted it as her eyes narrowed to icy slits. "No, I won't get over it!", she hissed coldly. "I was a young, insecure kid and you took advantage of me! I trusted you. I trusted you with my money, my heart, my soul. We had a specific divetime and I waited THREE BLOODY HOURS for you to show up and where were you? Drinking and gambling until the wee small hours. When I got to the site, what did I find?" "The coins were gone, but--" Again, he was cut off by Lara's foot twisting into his crotch. "The coins were gone. Why? Because SOMEBODY got himself into a three hundred twenty thousand dollar hole and had to use MY coins, the coins I spent HOURS and YEARS on researching, to pay off his bloody debts. My work. My trust. My love. My faith. You ED ON ALL OF IT! You wonder why I don't trust anyone? Because WANKERS like YOU, WEST, SHERIDAN and others make it BLOODY IMPOSSIBLE!" Lara took a few cleansing breaths before continuing. "I don't cash in on my finds for three reasons." "One," Chase interjected dryly. "You don't need the money. Some of us do." "I don't need the money. Secondly. While I do share what I find with others, there are some artifacts that are better left unfound because some greedy megalomaniac might want to use them to destroy humanity." "Pandora's Box." "Exactly. Third. Ancient culture is something to study and appreciate, not a commodity to exploit or market." "Fine and dandy, but what about the 'better left unfound' items in your trophy room?" "They fall under reason two: Prevent megalomaniacs from exploiting them." "Someone like you?" Chase winked. "Greedy, hell yeah! God complex? Bow before your Goddess, worm!" "Very amusing. Tell you what. You're here for another week, right?" "My flight leaves here the following Monday." "Well, I'm willing to call a truce and I have a proposal. You dive with Sara and I and it'll be a first come, first serve proposition. You find something first, you may sell it for whatever you can get for it. Sara and I sell it?" "It goes to a museum," Chase mused. "Fair enough, I suppose. As long as I'm forgiven for Monaco." "Fine. You're forgiven. Now, if you don't mind, Sara and I are keeping Bryce so he can have a real vacation." "Your employee, your business." THE END Some stuff was trimmed for length and (some) content. comments are welcome.
	Good luck in your new bed. Enjoy your nightmare, son, while you're resting your head.- BASEMENT JAXX


Singstar90210	Sep 2 2009, 08:54 PM Post #2
TR Mythbuster, Avid 007 Fan, Fanpire, and Official OMwD Patient Posts: 1,039 Group: Admins Member #14 Joined: Aug 27, 2008 Your favorite TR? TR1 Male or Female Female	Pretty interesting Neilmoon. I like the crossover, especially how you used Sara as a slight humor anchor in the story. However, I think the last conversation with Chase and Lara needs some more tuning up for the sake of our audience.
	Speak softly and carry a big jo. - O'Leary-Liu


Tessa	Sep 3 2009, 06:39 PM Post #3
TheTimeTravelingVampire Posts: 1,334 Group: Admins Member #1 Joined: Aug 23, 2008 Your favorite TR? TR1 Male or Female Female	Good job, interesting read! I do believe you have a talent. Have you ever considered doing a longer fanfic? ...And some of the conversations could use a slight "tuning up."



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