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| Amanda Evert: Path to Enlightenment; A short story in parts. | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 4 2009, 12:51 PM (169 Views) | |
| Rai | Apr 4 2009, 12:51 PM Post #1 |
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Raider on the run
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Hey, This is my first attempt at a Tomb Raider fan fiction, but starring Amanda. I know not everyone likes her and she can be whiny but her back story intrigues me. The first 2 paragraphs are a reference/flashback to the events in Peru when [young] Lara and Amanda are escaping the temple. Part 1 is a continuation of those events. Comments very welcome.  Amanda Evert: Path to Enlightenment. Part 1. As the water rose, so did her panic. Desperate to free herself from the fallen rocks, Amanda took a deep breath and struggled with untying her trainer laces. Glancing over at Lara who was holding the gate up with all her strength, Amanda could tell she was struggling all the same. How much longer would she be able to hold on? “Go!” she mouthed at her friend before continuing to tug at the laces. Her only hope now was that if Lara could escape, her friend would be able to get more help and she could be rescued...if it wasn’t too late. She was feeling dizzy, taking in water, the pressure to her lungs immense, the pain in her foot agonising. Fear intensified as she saw the rocks fall. All went black. *** The bright sun stung at her closed eyes. She could feel the warmth of it bathe over her face. Coughing, bringing up water, Amanda slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the brightness for a few seconds. Her head pounded with the worst headache she’d ever experienced. Her left foot was throbbing. She took an experimental stretch. As she did so, her hand brushed against something warm. She looked to see what it was. Lying by her fingertips was the stone she’d taken from the tomb wall. Sitting up, she picked up the stone and looked closer at it. It was teardrop shaped, black and had an etching of a strange looking skull. She couldn’t place its origins, but guessed it must have been carved in the same era as the tomb the university team had been excavating. A noise to her right distracted her from her thoughts; an ominous growl that brought her back to what she and her friends had so recently been through. Fear took a hold as she turned in the direction it had come from. The strange black shadow creature that had killed her friends was hovering close by, its teeth bared, eyes glowing fiery orange. Amanda scuttled back as the fearsome creature roared again and swooped in for an attack. Instinct told her what she must do. She raised the stone above her head. The creature stopped in its tracks, glaring at Amanda, saliva dripping from its jaws. It growled once more only softer this time. Still shaken, yet encouraged by this turn of events, keeping the stone high so the creature could see it, she slowly raised her slender frame erect to its full height. Her silver-blue eyes gazed into the creature’s fiery ones. “What are you?” she asked as she took an experimental step toward the inky blackness of the monster. She was close enough to touch the thing, but it didn’t flinch. The stone which should have burned her skin instead warmed her. Her aching muscles eased, the pain in her foot lessened. She felt stronger than she really should after nearly drowning. Keeping her gaze upon the monster, she circled it, curiosity overtaking fear. The smoky mass was still and silent, which unnerved her enough not to get too close however. “Are you the reason I survived?” She wondered about that for a moment. She’d been trapped by the rubble; she’d fallen. That this creature, responsible for so many deaths, could have rescued her baffled yet intrigued her at the same time. She stopped in front of her rescuer with the wraith stone, glowing in an echo of the creature it controlled, still raised head level. She glanced from stone to monster. It was the only logical explanation to her survival. “You could be useful.” She said to her new slave, a glint of a smile creeping over her features. ***** What do you all think? 
Edited by Rai, Apr 6 2009, 06:57 PM.
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| When just looking isn't always enough... | |
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| Randy | Apr 4 2009, 08:33 PM Post #2 |
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Raider
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Hi Rai, I thought that your work was very good, you should keep going. |
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| Singstar90210 | Apr 4 2009, 10:01 PM Post #3 |
TR Mythbuster, Avid 007 Fan, Fanpire, and Official OMwD Patient
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OMGosh, Rai. This is amazing! Keep going! I'm in suspense. Could you tell us how Amanda got linked to Rutland, fan-fiction style? |
 Speak softly and carry a big jo.  - O'Leary-Liu
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| Rai | Apr 5 2009, 08:29 AM Post #4 |
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Raider on the run
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Hey, thanks for the nice comments. And yes, Singstar, I am hoping to bring James Rutland into it somehow. Haven't figured how yet.
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| Singstar90210 | Apr 5 2009, 08:30 PM Post #5 |
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TR Mythbuster, Avid 007 Fan, Fanpire, and Official OMwD Patient
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Awesome. Good luck on it!
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Speak softly and carry a big jo. - O'Leary-Liu
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| Tessa | Apr 7 2009, 05:41 PM Post #6 |
TheTimeTravelingVampire
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Wow, that has a lot of potential Rai! Keep up the good work!!!
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| Rai | Apr 8 2009, 01:51 PM Post #7 |
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Raider on the run
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Thank you Tessa. I'm working on Part 2 now.
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| When just looking isn't always enough... | |
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| Tessa | Apr 10 2009, 09:55 AM Post #8 |
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TheTimeTravelingVampire
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Yay!
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| Singstar90210 | Apr 11 2009, 07:37 AM Post #9 |
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TR Mythbuster, Avid 007 Fan, Fanpire, and Official OMwD Patient
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*getting excited* 
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Speak softly and carry a big jo. - O'Leary-Liu
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