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4 yr old and nap/rest
Topic Started: October 15 2008, 12:14 PM (158 Views)
rach679

I swear i'm going to loss my mind. First they have family issues [mom/dad work almost 24/7, and always with a sitter]. Well, when she's here she is clearly cranky and misses mom and dad. I KNOW she needs a nap but can not get her to even lay down without physically forcing and well - I just don't do that. But I can't get her to lay down and its constant "miss rachel can I do xyz", I let the kid watch TV, or read books. My condition is she has to stay on the couch. She comes in and out of the playroom waking the girls that sleep up even if I tell her "no". If I leave for a second [ie: put the baby to bed] BAM she's in there.

I don't know what to do because it is non-stop! I put the TV on for Hailey and she'll sit for hours. And I have another child who wants me to lay with her to sleep (which I don't want to start that habit here b/c they are trying to break it at home). So the 4 yr old tells me "she's crying" (which its a fake cry...but kids don't know the difference). I am just at my wits end today - I just want to do some homework right now!
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jillybean
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Do you give the kids behavior rewards? That usually gets their attention.
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Babylove33
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My kids stopped naping by age 2 or soon after they turned 3. Jaden never napped and clearly needed one sometimes but refused. I think some kids just refuse to nap and they get cranky, I had to deal with it with Jaden for a LONG time. The only time he would take one was during a car ride... goodluck to you!
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rach679

I try to stay away from rewards, but I've done it. I said "we can do arts and crafts but first you have to take a nap/rest until x time." She started to fall asleep but then the rest of the kids woke up. Sure enough 5 o'clock on the dot she said "I'm tired, I want to take a nap." So I told her nap time was over, and right now it was time to play. So she was getting aggravated with the other kids (for looking at her). So yeah...Love her to death but sheesh. Did you do quiet time with Jaden? How did you keep him in one location? I have to have Hailey sleep in her room on her bed, but at the apartment I might let nap time be in the master bed room and she can just play in the living/dinning room. Dad said at home she sits in her room for 2 hours [she doesn't sleep but she plays with toys - they want her to take a nap but she wont]. How do you deal with the mood that comes with tired? I mean Hailey i just pop a movie in and she's fine. Typically that will PUT her to sleep. But again, this is just so different. I'm not used to 4 year olds...but I have to get used to it.
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MissAngi
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Not all kids follow the same schedule. So she might have a hard time napping with the others. If she's tired at 5pm, let her nap at 5. When the other kids are napping and you need her to be quiet maybe you can have her help you with something in another room. (maybe making lunch, or reading) Just to keep her quietly busy.

4 is a touch age for naps. My girls stopped napping around 3 or 4. Justine still naps occasionally (she'll be 4 in november) but its only when she needs it. usually school days she's exhausted so after lunch is nap...she receptive to that since she is so tired.

But its hard to force a 4 year old to sleep. Its just the age they dont want to anymore.
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rach679

See, I can't even keep her quietly busy! She's just a mile a minute. Doesn't stay still for a second. I just feel really mean sometimes telling her she's got to lay down and rest. I don't want to get into the habit of play during designated nap time, then complain because another kid looks at you, or something equally innocent. I know its part of a 4 yr old [or at least all the 4 yr olds I've worked with]. I've given her work books, paint, crayons. It keeps her busy for only so long - and she still insists on finding reasons to go into the playroom which in turn wakes the sleeping ones up. One good thing about the layout of the apartment I have just let her play in the living room and have the kids sleep in bedrooms - not the playroom. I can't get the living room dark enough. The good thing is, Hailey will one day be 4/give up nap and doing the same thing so I'll have to figure out something regardless.

I just hate it when the kids are so tired and you know they are yet they refuse to just close their eyes and go to sleep! I know they've had issues with grandparents giving her everything she wants, and her be in control. So she's used to doing whatever/when ever she wants with no consistency. So, I'm sure that is a BIG factor in the equation here. More then just taking a nap or quiet time.
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mamasnuszki

I have the same problem but with 2 3 year olds! And then Zachary will fall asleep when Noah gets picked up at 4!
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Babylove33
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With Jaden we never had really had quiet time, he wouldnt stay in one spot. When he was a baby I made the mistake of falling asleep with him on the couch watching TV, My DH use to work late nights, so I would cuddle with Jaden on the couch. It was a big mistake, cause after that he wouldnt go to sleep at all! I would try to lay him in his bed, and he wouldnt sleep. So we started taking him for car rides every night. We did this every night until he was 3 1/2. Then I said enough, so we stopped the car rides and it was pure hell.. He would stay up to midnight + it was horrible for all of us. This didnt stop until a few months before school started. I was sooo close to taking him to a sleep specialist. His family doctor told me to get an alarm that makes ocean waves, I wanted to LMAO at him! LOL. Yeah Im sure the alarm would have helped! LOL I was starting to think he had imsomnia. He never napped as a newborn either. You know how most newborns sleep 90% of the time? Jaden DIDNT!! He is like a perfect Angel now, and Im soo relieved. It took years and years to get him in a good sleep pattern. With my girls I was really strict about them sleeping in their cribs and as long as they were safe that had to stay in there beds and nap/sleep even if they cried to sleep. Its hard but you got to be strong and do it!!! Savannah and Autumn both go to sleep at night Savannah at 8pm and Autumn at 8:30-9. Jaden goes to bed at 9. Savannah takes her nap everyday at 12pm. Sorry for rambeling... I just believe my actions when he was little made him have horrible sleeping patterns. I should have been more strict.
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rach679

Oh yeah Amber I know the feeling!

I always held Hailey to sleep, and co slept with her. Once she outgrew the bassinet we couldn't get her to sleep any other way. And since I was nursing it was so much easier at night to just "roll over" and feed her. IT created a lot of sleeping problems for her. She got a lot better after starting daycare but it was hell! If one of her teachers sat next to her on the floor she woudl sleep but she had to go to lunch break at some point and Hailey would scream and you could hear her anywhere in the center. Her other teacher was much less compassionate in general [because I had "spoiled" her]. But because of all of Hailey's sleep issues, with our next child they will be in their own room in a crib from day one. And no way in heck am I going to try to do night time duty all alone. Big mistake there. DH felt like he couldn't do anything because she wouldn't go to sleep without nursing - and well that ish't physically possible for a man. Bottles will be introduced from day 1! I'll gladly pump if my body will allow it.
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Babylove33
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When savannah was a tiny baby I nursed her in bed and let her sleep with me since she ate so much, but as she got older I would put her in her crib after she nursed. Jon was the one who changed her, brought her to me, and took her back to her bed. I told him he wasent getting out of it that easy just cause I was breastfeeding... LOL Alls I had to do was pull my boob out.. LOL So you can still breastfeed and make a man work! hehe

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rach679

haha! It was easier for me just to do it all or nothing! Granted, he got all the night duty when we decided she HAD to night wean [going back to work and school full time...I needed to sleep as much as I could in a row not nursing every hour at night when she's a year old!].

Live and learn as to what to with 2nd+ kids :LOL:
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