| Raptors Looking for ways to improve | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 7 2009, 11:29 PM (132 Views) | |
| Manhattan Project | Jun 7 2009, 11:29 PM Post #1 |
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The Toronto Raptors have gotten off to a slow start, the crowds are starting to sober up and they are pretty pissed off. So to ease the fears among the fans, the Raptors have decided to come up with new ideas to motivate both the fans and players. Within a meeting the board had last weekend, the Raptors discussed various events, stunts and motivation tactics that they can deploy. ![]() Manhattan Project, interjecting in a board members meeting. When the meeting finally commenced the Raptors had a few ideas that they were ready to unveil to both the players and fans. The following statement was released: In our studies, we cross referenced what the players and fans both have in common. We needed a common goal here so that all parties would be equally beneficial and be able to build a strong rapport. We came up with the following list: Sex Sells Everyone Loves Fuzzy Animals Dance Parties Everyone was kind of confused how these ideas would even be implemented. However Manhattan Project made a plan that clearly made sense to everyone and it went like this. ![]() We all know sex sells, but this type? We all want this to go away, so every win we will cover up a portion of the body. In a stunning move the Raptors have obtained a picture of Manhattan Project. It what could have been a scandal, it has turned into an international sensation. All eyes will be on the Raptors, the entire world wants to know if they will be able to cover up such a man. Rocket scientists have projected that it will take 33 victories to cover up the entire picture. No one can truly know if the Raptors will be able to do it, but the entire world is now watching. ![]() Every half time one lucky fan will get to fight a fuzzy tractor trailer. Thats right, live bears right into your living room. At each half time one lucky fan will get to come to the court and fight a live Grizzly Bear. Options include a spiked bat, marinated steak and boxing gloves. The one good thing about being in Canada is that the government will allow sponsored betting on this sporting event. The fans get a good time, the state makes money and more importantly the lucky fan will have a once in a lifetime experience. ![]() Every game that the Raptors score over a 100 points, there will be a dance partner. The Raptors don't exactly light up the score board, so to motivate the players we are implementing this strategy. The fans will get to come down to the court after the game to have a full on dance party with 14 disco balls. The players get to mingle with all the single drunk ladies, the fans get to claim that they have been raped. The possible litigation battles might be a problem, but we all love dance parties. There will be strict rules to protect ourselves, but for now the idea is just beginning. In two years we will fully know the implications that this may cause, but for now its sexy time. We encourage outside the box thinking here with the Raptors, we will try anything and I do mean anything. We want to provide a truly fun experience for our fans and we think this is a good start. You can't get this type of interaction with any other team in the league, that's why we think the Toronto Raptor experience is truly unforgettable. We want to be the very best, to be the best you have to set the bar at the highest level possible. I believe that other teams will be scared to match our events, parties and experience. |
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| Deleted User | Jun 8 2009, 03:22 AM Post #2 |
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Nice. Very funny Looking forward to more of your articles
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| Maverick41 | Jun 8 2009, 04:01 AM Post #3 |
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lol good stuff $265 |
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