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| the Dear MEATY diaries; our agony uncle | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 11 2008, 07:57 AM (453 Views) | |
| cybadaz | Sep 11 2008, 07:57 AM Post #1 |
Self Pleasuring Simian
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Dear Meaty , I have recently discovered my son has been holding a secret from me , he has been making repetitive noises over the last week and sometimes its quite harrowing . He is learning to play the bass guitar , he's 12yrs old and of all horrors he has been learning to play some songs found on Rock Band !! He is learning to play Metallica and a DragonForce song , this is killing me !!! He is standing with his head lowered as he plays , just nodding relentlessly to the rhythm as he plays Enter sandman for the 300th time - please help , what can i do to make it stop ??, and how can i get him to play something else ?? !!!!! Anon - |
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| Johnny | Oct 18 2008, 07:48 PM Post #2 |
Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Dear Meaty A little advice on my dog , and since you have a small zoo at your house you might know the answer ?? she has a bad habbit of peeing in her box during the night, now how can I stop her from doing this, she goes for a late walk everynight without fail. My missus is starting to think the dog is a bit simple.... please help a confused Johnny 
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| MeatyFiend | Oct 19 2008, 05:04 AM Post #3 |
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well, in this situation it seems the only way to make him stop is to pull the fuse out of his amp or indeed cut the strings of his guitar. in order to make him play something else you may need to resort to hard tactic, take the cut bass strings, tie him to a chair and make him listen to a cd of your choice until he gives in and agrees to play it. failing that if he tries to hold out then make him eat cat food, he will soon learn the error of his ways. |
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| MeatyFiend | Oct 19 2008, 05:10 AM Post #4 |
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well well well, a simple dog. the quickest answer would be to make her sleep outside in an empty swimming pool, if you don't like the idea of that then i'd suggest that you stop giving the dog alcohol as this generally does shoot through the system and try her on a bit of hydrochloric acid, this will hurt during the pissing process and so will stop her from want to piss anyway really, problem solved. |
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| Johnny | Oct 19 2008, 11:43 AM Post #5 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Thanks, I think I will try the swimming pool one first as she likes a drop of the hard stuff.so I dare not stop that as she will bite my bollocks off!! Will keep you updated on this situation..... 
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| Finalsight618 | Oct 19 2008, 03:16 PM Post #6 |
Sexually Perverted Sicko
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I'll give it a go with the advice giving thing and i will try it while using the least number of words possible. Cyba - Headphones JoHnny - http://www.dog-nappy.co.uk |
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| Johnny | Oct 19 2008, 03:25 PM Post #7 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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 bloody hell, never would have thought hahaha 
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| the mighty coco | Oct 19 2008, 03:28 PM Post #8 |
4th admin of the apocalypse!!!
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dear meaty, due to excessive slugging action from prodution well k13 there is now a problem with hydrocarbon oil foaming up beyond the capabilities of the vessel designed to deal with the irregular flow patterns. as a result the interface levels of the oil and gas are constantly fluctuating and foam is being carried over into the gas side of the process which in turn is filling up the dehydration scrubbers, blocking the gas coolers and ultimatly travelling into a gas compressor and destroying the seals. the potential for catastrophic equipment failure and possible personal injury has increased exponentially. any recomendations of the way forward? |
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| Finalsight618 | Oct 19 2008, 03:33 PM Post #9 |
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Sexually Perverted Sicko
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Oil foaming is generally caused from moisture contamination, cleaning solvents etc. that get into the oil. The contaminates tend to discolor the oil giving it a milky appearance and the bubbles will dissipate very slowly after the motor has stopped. The primary method of correcting foaming is to have the oil reservoir and associated parts thoroughly steam cleaned and baked dry. The main emphasis is to make sure all contaminates have been removed and the reservoir is completely free of moisture. If the issue still persists, anti-foaming agents are available as an additive to stop the foaming |
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| Johnny | Oct 19 2008, 03:34 PM Post #10 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Fuck meaty sort that one out hahahahahaha |
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| MeatyFiend | Oct 19 2008, 06:33 PM Post #11 |
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haha, well what final said or plant a big bomb and move rigs. |
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| the mighty coco | Oct 19 2008, 06:49 PM Post #12 |
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4th admin of the apocalypse!!!
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the main problem with this advice is that any possible water contamination in question is naturally occurring, also the reservoir in question is 1km under the sea and 1km under the sea bed. i very much doubt any cleaning solvents will be in the oil as the dinosaurs that turned into the oil didn't use soap. there is no motor involved as the pressure sub sea is 250+ bar which is more than ample to naturally push the oil up to us. steam cleaning the resevoir is also something that would be a tad difficult in these circumstances. anti foaming agents, wax inhibitor and h2s scavenger are currently pumped to the sub sea wellhead and commingled long before any product hits us, but this chemical is not stopping the foaming from happening when the massive slugging motion from the well is happening. |
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| cybadaz | Oct 19 2008, 07:13 PM Post #13 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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invade Venezuala |
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| Finalsight618 | Oct 19 2008, 08:03 PM Post #14 |
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Sexually Perverted Sicko
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Lol that advice would be correct if you were talking about a car or something. Besides soap was first discovered by washing clothes in water near decomposed bodies and oil is basically decomposed dinos, thus there is your soap. |
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| cybadaz | Oct 20 2008, 01:14 AM Post #15 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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you got that from motor oil .com or something , i want to hear what Meatys mad mad mind thinks LOL |
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| Johnny | Oct 23 2008, 06:33 PM Post #16 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Dear meaty, I am in a bit of a tizwaz as to what to play first tonight...shall it be Fable 2 or Deadspace As I know you are a Fable whore, please dont be biased on your decision. you bastard hehehee lol |
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| MeatyFiend | Oct 23 2008, 06:41 PM Post #17 |
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well putting the fact that fable 2 is fuckin brilliant aside, i'd have to say...... fable 2 because it is far more nutritional for the soul |
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| Johnny | Oct 23 2008, 06:43 PM Post #18 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Dear Meaty Thats not the answer I wanted to hear!!!! twat  
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| cybadaz | Nov 25 2008, 09:00 AM Post #19 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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Dear Meaty , . I know youre probably busy at work but when you get the chance can you please answer my query Can a flock of birds be struck by lightening ? what happens ? can you suggest a bird to try the experiement on - i asume the bigger the better .. thanks! |
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| Gee | Nov 25 2008, 11:03 AM Post #20 |
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Dear Meaty, Any chance of getting 5 minutes of my life back after reading all this drivel? Better still if you could make it 10 minutes then that would be great. |
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| the mighty coco | Nov 25 2008, 01:20 PM Post #21 |
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4th admin of the apocalypse!!!
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dear meaty, how much would it cost to have you lick jam from a cats anus? (as suggested by daz to a work colleague) bearing in mind the current financial climate and the "crunch" on credit. |
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| Johnny | Nov 29 2008, 08:30 PM Post #22 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Dear Meaty, is it possible to put your own pics or photos on your xlive gamer pic. I dont mean using the cam but from a mem stick or summit ?? |
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| MeatyFiend | Nov 30 2008, 01:59 AM Post #23 |
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not on your gamerpic johnny, i think its only the background wall paper you can change with pics |
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| Johnny | Dec 3 2008, 08:29 PM Post #24 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Thankyou Dear Meaty, well bang goes that idea, they should make a lot more things possible to do with xlive. i heard they were going to make it possible to exchange m/s points etc ?? |
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| Finalsight618 | Dec 3 2008, 09:00 PM Post #25 |
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Sexually Perverted Sicko
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they can in the US and have been able for a while. |
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| the mighty coco | Dec 3 2008, 09:12 PM Post #26 |
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4th admin of the apocalypse!!!
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all your points are belong to us |
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| MeatyFiend | Dec 3 2008, 09:20 PM Post #27 |
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all your fucking points belong to me |
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| Johnny | Dec 3 2008, 09:26 PM Post #28 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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I will gladly share my points if needed, im no meaty miser |
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| cybadaz | Dec 3 2008, 09:52 PM Post #29 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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Dear Meaty , Dont you think that human evoloution would be better if we had our ears on the backs of our hands ??? Ok it discriminates against those that wear glasses , but i think it would be better than having ears near your mouth as you cant hear properly when eating crisps , and ... seeing that people say "i cant hear myself think!" when the ears are right next to a thinking brain ,make it pointless - omni-directional hearing where you point your hand at what you want to hear IS THE way forward !!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| the mighty coco | Dec 3 2008, 10:07 PM Post #30 |
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4th admin of the apocalypse!!!
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like an eye on the palm of your hand you illuminati bastards. i'm watching you!!! |
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| cybadaz | Dec 4 2008, 08:38 AM Post #31 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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u cant call that spam ^^^^ :o |
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| MeatyFiend | Dec 4 2008, 04:09 PM Post #32 |
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maybe so but i call it all spammage and i don't care |
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| Johnny | Dec 4 2008, 10:17 PM Post #33 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Dear Meaty, I found this pic and thought as you like talking about tampons you might like to see one. merry xmass Johnny 
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| MeatyFiend | Dec 4 2008, 11:07 PM Post #34 |
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by fuck ITS JEFF!!!!!!!! |
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| Johnny | Dec 4 2008, 11:13 PM Post #35 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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Who the fuck is Jeff lol |
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| MeatyFiend | Dec 4 2008, 11:44 PM Post #36 |
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FUCKING JEFF FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN JEFF THE TAMPON, a good friend and handy in many situations, i can't believe you don't know who the fuck jeff is, i'm fucking disgusted |
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| Johnny | Dec 5 2008, 12:01 AM Post #37 |
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Well look happy you stupid bastards...
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hehehe so am I |
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| Gee | Dec 5 2008, 08:41 AM Post #38 |
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 Are you related in anyway? |
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| cybadaz | Dec 5 2008, 09:34 AM Post #39 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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why u put a pic up of the last game you got showing as playing ( see gamercard - man with head shaped like an orange ;) ;) ) |
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| cybadaz | Dec 5 2008, 09:35 AM Post #40 |
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Self Pleasuring Simian
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btw - i find myself nodding when he speaks !!!!! |
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6:00 PM Dec 3
