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Shinji, Ryuuken
Topic Started: Dec 20 2013, 09:17 PM (740 Views)
jetray78

Character Name: Shinji, Ryuuken[/b]
Gender:Male
Age:18
Height:6,7
Weight:110
Description or Image of Character Appearance: Has black spikey short hair and has a long sleeve black shirt on with black spikey fur on top of both shoulders. He also has on black pants with black shoes and has black eyes.


Occupation: None
Grade Level: Highschool Junior
Powers/ Abilities:Aura Manipulation:Much like the ability, Life-Force Manipulation, the user can manipulate energy in various ways. However, this ability deals with the energy of their spiritual essence instead of the entire universe. Aura is the energy that is formed from one's achievement of spiritual power through extreme mental focus and strong emotions. Users of this power are able to increase their natural abilities, attract and repel the aura of others, sense the aura, and project it. Types of aura are located in different parts of the physical body such as the forehead, spine, throat, heart, and stomach. The power of the aura also changes with one's mood.

Energy Attacks:The user has ability to release a variety of ranged energy-attacks of various shapes and/or intensities, they can release huge rays of pure energy can knock over or even obliterate dozens of targets, or slightly singe them.

Some can discharge an incredibly powerful energy-burst that can be quite large and destructive from their body. Users may generate blasts through weapons, tools or any part of their body.The size of his attacks are the size of many sizes from a scale of 1-5, but the size only depends on how much aura he has used.

The rate of power he can use now can only damage little or few places of a person or for a nonliving thing he would just be able to shoot a hole into a wooden wall or even the possibility to obliterate a whole brick wall but this will require focus and accurate manipulation of the Aura. I am thinking about direct areas like a certain pattern that Shinji uses; like a small ball shaped blast would be first and even though it is small Shinji could have concentrated enough Aura into the ball it could do medium damage which is 20% damage to anything that has a weak or thin layer.

That's about as strong as bending wood and splitting it in half. He knows wood can come in many layers and he has only used a pattern to determine how strong his Aura attacks are against thin wood and slightly thick wood than against real human beings. In that test Shinji would do minor damage meaning like a little bruise to a normal person if he doesn't use all of his Aura to charge a big attack but Shinji only fights if necessary. Now for bricks he would have to use all of his energy to break a whole brick wall.

The drawbacks:
1# Takes two post to charge large attacks.
2# Once blast is used it wil take like a whole one post to recharge and be used.
3# When charging Shinji can not dodge nor block.

Ergokinetic Combat: The user is able to utilize Energy Manipulation with their physical combat skill, channeling energy through parts of their bodies or use the energy for defensive purposes.

Shinji has a rapid hard defence aura and when he uses this, his aura can only go to his whole body but only have a unbalanced aura in some places and that place is his head and neck but his main focusing aura that is 90% is in his arms, legs, and torso.Shinji's rate of power in his arms and legs when focused are a scale of 5 which is in between the scale of 1 -10 meaning 50% of his aura is legs and arms and his torso is his more lesser defence then his power and offence in his arms.

Shinji uses 80% aura when using this skill and his torso aura strentgh is 5 from the scale of 1-10 meaning he is using 50/50 power of aura and his str and defence is increased by his aura. Thow Shinji is just starting in time and with training, he should be able break through bricks and slighty damage parts of bodys enough to cause 10% damage.

Energy Exoskeleton:The user can form armor around their body or a shape it from solid energy for protection and physical boost. With training, the user could shape the armor into new forms for weapons, transportation, even constructs of the element.Since Shinji's aura is a rapid moving solid wall, his aura is calmer and lighter on his body and on the outside of that is a rapid tightning aura that keeps close to Shinji.

The term Shinji uses is called throbbing muscles, what happens to his aura is that it changes to a redish black and it causes some pain if not trained well.Shinji can only form a greater defence solid aura 2x stronger than Ergokinetic combat . The power of a punch has to be able to atleast break bricks to be able to completely shatter Shinji's aura.

The cost of this is that once used Shinji has to wait two post before using it again.



Equipment You Have: Wrappings Headphones


Residency Request:Boys Dormatory


Schedule:
Homeroom Teacher: Lavender
1 Supernatural studies)
2 Advanced Demonology)
3 The Arts)

Personality Description:Sadist and he is a sadist because he loves to fight and cause pain to others and that only occurs when he gets into fights other than that he has self control. Shinji is also Ruthless and happens to be like that a lot of times but only when he is mad.Shinji tends to tinker with technology and various weapons, yet he might not know how to use them.He has gained alot of knowledgeable info and with that said Shinji can easily gain alot of info about these things.


Personal History: Shinji was born with a dead mother and his dad is the one to take care of him and so Shinji was always mean -spirited and evil faced and he always loved to fight but as he got older he then started to like girls then he started to read Hentai manga and that's when he started 8th grade.

Shinji then passed 8th grade and moved on to a senior year but before all that was when he was in a dark stage and as he went through school he always would train everyday before school and after-school just so he can be stronger. Senior year is just starting for him and he is very happy at the time.



Mashed Potatoes?There is no spoon.
Edited by jetray78, Feb 10 2014, 09:32 PM.
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sebsman
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Beware The Penguin Emperor
First of all, welcome to the site!

Second, there are a few issues with your character sheet that need to be dealt with before your profile can be approved.

First of all, due to the nature of the site, aura can mean a large variety of things, so please explain what aura means for your character, and how it affects Shinji's abilities. His abilities also need to be more detailed as to what their effects entail.

-What is the maximum power and size that the aura ball can manifest, use reference from the real world to explain accurately (e.g. the energy ball can go through x material, and is as large as y object) also, you'll need to explain what the orb does, does it float around him, can he throw it, if so how much?

-About how strong do his strikes get when using Ergokinetic Combat.

-Again, back to the "what does aura mean?" question, now even more importantly since controlling aura could mean a variety of things.

Equipment: It is stated in the rules that starting characters can't have lethal weapons unless some very specific circumstances arise.

Residency Request: High school students live in the dorms

Schedule: you need to choose three of the classes written down in the rules and a homeroom teacher.

Personality description: Personality description should be at least two paragraphs long.

Mashed potatoes: It is in the rules, read them thouroughly and you'll find it.

Also, be sure to note which grade level he is at, normally he'd be a senior due to his age, but due to the circumstances explained in his backstor, I am not sure in what grade you intend to place him.
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jetray78

I have updated my profile
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Captain
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Sebs seems to be away at the moment so I will tag in to handle this round of approvals.

1st off. Just an offhand comment. 6'7''. Judging from the name, it sounds like this person is native to Japan, and that's all I have to go off of. Unless this dude's a real bizarre occurrence, he's a full foot above the average height of a person from the region.

Now onto the powers. First is Aura. You explain what it is now, which is a step in the correct direction. However, that being said, you fail to elaborate what your character can do with it, unless you are using it as a blanket description of how all the following powers are.

Now onto Energy Attacks. You've not followed Seb's directions in this regard. He said to define power and size. Instead you have given vague statements and varieties. You say

Quote:
 
they can release huge rays of pure energy can knock over or even obliterate dozens of targets, or slightly singe them. Some can discharge an incredibly powerful energy-burst that can be quite large and destructive from their body.


1: What kind of targets can be obliterated? Paper? Wood? Bone? Rock? Metal? Adamantium? Unobtanium? Unbreaknium? This is what Sebs meant, he needs an idea of a maximum power scale.

2: The same goes for size, you say quite large but leave no frame of reference as to what that could mean. What I consider to be quite large and somebody else considers quite large could be wildly different things.

Ergokinetic Combat falls under the same issue. You give a broad overarching statement as to what the powers can do but you need to elaborate on what you can do with it. Defensive purposes? Like what? What can channeling the energy do aside from that for the character. Tell us exactly what this character can do with this power

Energy Exoskeleton, again, same issues. Armour, okay, well how good is the armour? What can it stop? How durable is it? How much of a physical boost does it give? I don't care about what it can do with training. I want to know precisely what it can do right now.

Personality needs to be two paragraphs. This is not something we will compromise on.

Your history is 2 paragraphs, yes, but it tells me nothing about this character, save for some superficial things. It is my suggestion that you work to elaborate more on that.

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Mayu Akabane
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(✿◠‿◠)
Thank you for your profile.

I have looked over your edits, and the following issues will require redressing before I am able to approve it.

First of all energy attack.
It is going to need to be toned down quite a lot. Destroying steel is way too strong for a starting character. The most a starting character is looking to do is only being able to slightly damage brick walls, not completely destroy steel.
The same issue with when it hits a person. For a starting character, something along the lines of a mild burn at most is what you should be looking at, not tearing through flesh and bone.

For the second power, I really don't have much of a clue what is being said other than where his aura is distributed. I understand it is supposed to increase his strength and endurance, but I can't work out to what extent, so you will need to clarify on the extent that his strength and endurance are improved.
Keep in mind that this is a starting character, and that this power is covering both strength and endurance, so it cannot be something on par with either super strength or super durability.

Finally, the exoskeleton.
From what I understand, it is solely a shield like ability that is capable of defending against attacks. As with the previous power, it needs clarification on what kind of attacks it can handle. Complete resistance to physical attacks isn't going to pass, which is what I am reading into it at the moment. It is going to need to have its physical resistance toned down a lot.

Main problems at the moment, from what I can see, are as follows:
A - Powers are too strong
B - Some areas need further clarification, and rewording so that it is more clear.
The second power is in particular need of reorganising as it is very confusing at the moment.

Please reply to this topic once the outlined issues have been edited, and I will review the profile again.
Thank you!
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jetray78

I finished.
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Mayu Akabane
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(✿◠‿◠)
Thank you, I have looked over your profile again, and there is still a problem with vagueness and scale.

It is going to need to have things completely named, and not just have a couple of words add/changed/removed. I will go through exactly where the problem area are.

Quote:
 
The rate of power he can use now can only destroy metals from copper to iron, yet he can destroy any living thing that DOESN'T have the basic training to defend agaisnt aura becuase everyone has aura.


As stated before, destroying things such as iron and steel is way too strong for a starting character. You should start off by looking at only damaging them rather than destroy. The second part regarding destroy any living without aura training will also have to be changed, since it is very rare for someone to actually have an aura related character.

Quote:
 
Shinji can only damage his enemy's with enough ammount of aura to slighty cause critical damage to untrained fighters, but when fighting a trained fighter he can only lighty bruise a area of the opponet if they don't have a echanced defence.


This part suffers from vagueness. Critical damage and slightly critical damage doesn't give a very clear picture of what kind of injuries he could inflict. Rather than state how the attack works on a trained fighter with enhanced defence, I would also prefer you to describe how it would affect a normal person, since the majority of characters in Hyakuji don't have enhanced defences.

I would like to once again stress scale. Hyakuji is more for story than fighting, and characters who are only designed to kill are generally not advised.

Quote:
 
Thow Shinji is just starting in time and with training, he should be able break through bricks and slighty damage parts of bodys enough to cause mild damage.

Just as with the critical damage part also requires further clarifications on the mild damage part.

Quote:
 
can not be destroyed by any metals except steel, the power of a punch has to be able to atleast break bricks to be able to completely shatter Shinji's aura.

Finally, this part. As I said before, the about metals is going to have to go, even if it does include steel. There is no real reason for it to be able to automatically have immunity against all other metals, and that immunity would make your character automatically immune against most weapons.

Rather than focus on what kind of attacks it can take, I would advise a maximum total force it can take. The only other way for this to be passable is if you placed some kind of time limit (in posts) in which it can be activated, otherwise it is going to need to be toned down.


Thank you, just as before, once all edits have been made, I will review the profile again.
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Mayu Akabane
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Thank you, I have looked over, and it has been a big improvement this time.

Main issue, generally, this time is that 10% is again vague, and confusing. For something like an energy blast, I would prefer something such as an example of the wound it is capable of causing. Something such as "a minor burn", or something similar.

Going into the more specific detail, the first power mentions he can make his aura shots more powerful by adding more aura, but there doesn't seem to be any firm drawbacks to using more aura. I would like to see either a charge time for stronger energy blasts, or a maximum aura count so that full power aura blasts aren't spammable.

After that, the only remaining problem is with the third power. I would rather you removed the part about it completely stopping certain metals completely, and leave it at just brick shattering force, or something along those lines. It will also need some kind of duration/use limit (e.g. x posts per topic), or some way to let weaker attacks break it since it is very spammable at the moment.

I apologise the process is taking a while, but I need to scale your character so that they aren't too strong for a starting character. I would suggest you don't worry so much about making your first character strong, and instead use your first character to familiarise yourself with the site.

Once you have made edits, I will review your profile again.
Please post a reply to this topic once you have made your edits. Thank you.
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jetray78

Done
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Mayu Akabane
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The powers should be fine now.

Last thing before I can approve the profile is for you to pick a homeroom teacher.

Quote:
 
Homeroom Teacher: Mare, Hiro, Lavender


At the moment you have all three listed. Pick whichever one of the three you want as your homeroom teacher.

Once you have picked a teacher, please make a reply to this topic so that I can approve the profile.
Thank you.
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jetray78

Done.
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Mayu Akabane
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jetray78
Dec 20 2013, 09:17 PM
Powers/ Abilities:Aura Manipulation:Much like the ability, Life-Force Manipulation, the user can manipulate energy in various ways. However, this ability deals with the energy of their spiritual essence instead of the entire universe. Aura is the energy that is formed from one's achievement of spiritual power through extreme mental focus and strong emotions. Users of this power are able to increase their natural abilities, attract and repel the aura of others, sense the aura, and project it. Types of aura are located in different parts of the physical body such as the forehead, spine, throat, heart, and stomach. The power of the aura also changes with one's mood.

Energy Attacks:The user has ability to release a variety of ranged energy-attacks of various shapes and/or intensities, they can release huge rays of pure energy can knock over or even obliterate dozens of targets, or slightly singe them.

Some can discharge an incredibly powerful energy-burst that can be quite large and destructive from their body. Users may generate blasts through weapons, tools or any part of their body.The size of his attacks are the size of many sizes from a scale of 1-5, but the size only depends on how much aura he has used.

The rate of power he can use now can only damage little or few places of a person or for a nonliving thing he would just be able to shoot a hole into a wooden wall or even the possibility to obliterate a whole brick wall but this will require focus and accurate manipulation of the Aura. I am thinking about direct areas like a certain pattern that Shinji uses; like a small ball shaped blast would be first and even though it is small Shinji could have concentrated enough Aura into the ball it could do medium damage which is 20% damage to anything that has a weak or thin layer.

That's about as strong as bending wood and splitting it in half. He knows wood can come in many layers and he has only used a pattern to determine how strong his Aura attacks are against thin wood and slightly thick wood than against real human beings. In that test Shinji would do minor damage meaning like a little bruise to a normal person if he doesn't use all of his Aura to charge a big attack but Shinji only fights if necessary. Now for bricks he would have to use all of his energy to break a whole brick wall.

The drawbacks:
1# Takes two post to charge large attacks.
2# Once blast is used it wil take like a whole one post to recharge and be used.
3# When charging Shinji can not dodge nor block.

Ergokinetic Combat: The user is able to utilize Energy Manipulation with their physical combat skill, channeling energy through parts of their bodies or use the energy for defensive purposes.

Shinji has a rapid hard defence aura and when he uses this, his aura can only go to his whole body but only have a unbalanced aura in some places and that place is his head and neck but his main focusing aura that is 90% is in his arms, legs, and torso.Shinji's rate of power in his arms and legs when focused are a scale of 5 which is in between the scale of 1 -10 meaning 50% of his aura is legs and arms and his torso is his more lesser defence then his power and offence in his arms.

Shinji uses 80% aura when using this skill and his torso aura strentgh is 5 from the scale of 1-10 meaning he is using 50/50 power of aura and his str and defence is increased by his aura. Thow Shinji is just starting in time and with training, he should be able break through bricks and slighty damage parts of bodys enough to cause 10% damage.

Energy Exoskeleton:The user can form armor around their body or a shape it from solid energy for protection and physical boost. With training, the user could shape the armor into new forms for weapons, transportation, even constructs of the element.Since Shinji's aura is a rapid moving solid wall, his aura is calmer and lighter on his body and on the outside of that is a rapid tightning aura that keeps close to Shinji.

The term Shinji uses is called throbbing muscles, what happens to his aura is that it changes to a redish black and it causes some pain if not trained well.Shinji can only form a greater defence solid aura 2x stronger than Ergokinetic combat . The power of a punch has to be able to atleast break bricks to be able to completely shatter Shinji's aura.

The cost of this is that once used Shinji has to wait two post before using it again.



Equipment You Have: Wrappings Headphones
Approved!
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