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Shin Hyakuji High School Tvtropes
The Book that is Hyakuji's Story has come to a close. However, there are still plenty of stories left to be told in the madcap Anime Universe it inhabits. As one book closes, so too does another open. Presented by veteran Hyakuji Staff Members, check out the next generation EVOLUTION of "Anything-Goes" Anime Roleplaying at Senki Academy
The Book that is Hyakuji's Story has come to a close. However, there are still plenty of stories left to be told in the madcap Anime Universe it inhabits. As one book closes, so too does another open. Presented by veteran Hyakuji Staff Members, check out the next generation EVOLUTION of "Anything-Goes" Anime Roleplaying at Senki Academy
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| 夏織夢Xia Zhimeng Natsu Oriyume; Also known as Aurore or Yume-Chan | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 3 2008, 01:50 PM (5,089 Views) | |
| Kounoko | Aug 3 2008, 01:50 PM Post #1 |
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光の子
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Character Name:夏織夢Aurore Xia Zhimeng, or in Japanese, Natsu Oriyume, aka. Yume-Chan. Also has an Split Personality known as Mischievous Chaos Gender: Female Age: 15 Height: 178cm Weight: 49Kg Description or Image of Character Appearance: Just imagine a much taller version of the below picture. ![]() An extremely feminine Chinese girl with waist length soft, smooth silk like black hair and a cute and adorable face that people can be easily mistook for that of a 12 year old if not for her height. Her innocent black pupils shine with a slight violet hue, her soft golden skin having a light pink complexion with naturally peach pink lips on a cherry size mouth; she is one that many would call a fairy from heaven. A tall but dainty and fragile looking girl with an average figure of about 72-48-75 and 178 cm tall, her childish features combined with her height never fail to turn heads. While not wearing uniform, she usually wears a Traditional Chinese dress, not the QiPao but the Han-Fu漢服. The clothing wore by the ancient Chinese for over 4000 years until the Qing Dynasty that forcefully change the Chinese's clothing style. In Mischievous Chaos personality, she looks the same, but have a much more sharp and naughty look in her eyes as well a annoying cheeky smile at all times.. Occupation: Student Grade Level: 1st year Freshgirl Powers/ Abilities: Super Strength: Usually as strong as a average 150Kg male weightlifter, using her Qi she can boost her strength up to three fold, however, she cannot use her strength to attack another human being, including via throwing of heavy objects. Above Average Agility: Can react and run as fast as an above average sprinter, unable to run any faster due to Tachophobia Average Stamina: Normal athletic 15 years old human girl stamina, unable to boost stamina using Qi due to no knowing the technique of how to do so. During her spilt personality, Mischievous Chaos, all the above are gone, her physical powers will be equal to that of a average 10 year old girl of around 20Kg. For reasons, details and weakness, please read below. Martial Arts: Her mother was a distinguished martial artist, and she taught a lot to her beloved daughter. However. due to fear of actually injuring others, Zhimeng has never really bothered to learn them truly well, treating it more like learning dancing, her moves tents to look aesthetics and graceful, but does next to no damage. She does however, have very strong inner strength due to years of cultivation in NeiDan martial arts (內丹NeiDan, inner elixir is the advance form of inner strength, where an elixir of life starts to cultivate within the martial artist, slowing changing the practitioner from mortal to divine). She was taught The YiJin-Jing(易筋經Tendon-Changing Scripture)and The XiSui-Jing(洗髓經Marrow-Washing Scripture) by an Taoist hermit master whom was an old friend of their family. She had been taking powerful herbal tonics such as Ginkgo, Eucommia, Flowery Knotweed, Royal Jelly, Cordyceps, Ginseng and Ganoderma, making her inner arts advance twice as fast as others girls, also note that while guys usually have an advantage in learning external arts and training muscular strength, girls usually have advantage in learning internal arts and cultivating internal strength. YiJin-Jing(易筋經Tendon-Changing Scripture) During the Ming dynasty, a great Taoist Reverend 紫凝道人ZiNing DaoRen discovered the ways of heaven and the path of immortality, as he found that in spite of what many myths says, the Gods too are of flesh and blood, but that of a different essence from us, for their Qi were of chaos and mystic, their flesh and blood of innocence and purity, their soul pristine and their sprite divine. After long years of study, he slowly understands the structural different between divine and mortal, as well as how to change it. As many other great Taoist priests whom are also martial artist before him, he learned the ways of heaven, and invented the a new path to immortality, a inner elixir martial art form comparable to the likes of 臻仙訣ZhenXian-Jue, the legendry immortality martial arts invented by Lu DongBin, 先天歸虛XianTian GuiXu, The Final Level of WuDang Wang-ChongYang's XianTianGong, 還真仙功 HuanZhen-XianGong, an ancient martial arts of unknown origins, 九陰飛昇訣, JiuYin-FeiSheng-Jue, the final level of the great master Huang Shang's JiuYin-ZhenJing and 九陽煉神訣JiuYang-LianShen-Jue, the final level of the ancient legendry hero Hou-Yi's JiuYang-ShenGong, naming it 易筋洗髓YiJin and XiSui;. After achieving immortality, he left behind two books on the ways of immortality via practicing inner elixir martial art, The YiJin-Jing and The XiSui-Jing before joining the ranks of the Gods in the celestial court. The two books were then lost for a long time before being discovered by the Buddhist Shaolin Temple, and became its heavily guarded top martial art secret, it was also rumoured that some of his disciples have passed it down in a hidden line of hermit Taoists. And yes, YiJin-Jing is part one of the divine art of YiJin and XiSui, as its name Tendon-Changing suggest, it mainly due with slowly transforming the person non-core tissues, such as the tendons, muscles, and blood vessels, greatly improving the individuals' physical attributes, the internal organs while not transformed, are also strengthen, greatly improving the health and recharging the life force of the practitioner with heavenly power of eternity. At higher levels, a user of this martial can even float in mid air; fly at supersonic speeds, living perfectly comfortable without food and water and even staying young forever, not capable of natural death. Even in basic level, it allows the practitioner to , run on water as long as there are floating wood on the water 輕功Qing-Gong, shot a beam of Qi with a range of 1~5 meters from one or more of one's fingers as 劍氣Jian-Qi, packing a strike force equal to 5% or less of one's punches and blasting targets of about 2 meters away from one with a 掌風ZhangFeng that feels like strong rushing wind to the target by shoving one's palms out, one is also able to heal oneself and others with the YiJin Qi. However, Zhimeng is naturally far from such a level, while a pure heart, herbal tonics and elixirs had help her advance at least twice as fast as most people, she had only been training for barely ten years, being just mastered the entry stage only two years ago and currently in the internal stage. This martial art have greatly improved her body conditioning, fitness and health, being the reason for her youthful look, tall but slender, feminine build and strong physical conditions, her soft, willowy and shapely body easily equalling average male bodybuilders and weightlifters more then three times her weight in strength, sprinters in speed and marathon runners in stamina even before using her Qi. She is also able to further strengthen herself with the YiJin Qi, however, due to a lack of interesting in actually combat usage, she has not learn all the application for this martial art, such as QingGong, JianQi and ZhangFeng. Also, due to a lack of skill in using her Qi, she is unable to use Qi to fuel long periods of exercise, leading to her just average athletic stamina. She also had improved health conditions,, which is however, highly internal and does not gives her any special powers. XiSui-Jing(洗髓經Marrow-Washing Scripture) Part two of YiJin and XiSui, the gateway to immortality, everlasting .life and eternal youth. One can only start learning this martial art when they mastered the entry stage of YiJin, after an inner elixir starts to form within the body. With this art, the core systems of ones bio make-up starts to transforms, such as the marrow, blood, nerves and internal organs. The recharging process surpasses the life force level and starts ascending the very essence of the being into that of a higher existence. This is when youth eternal progresses into life everlasting, where breathing becomes superfluous, resistance to damage and self healing becomes virtual invulnerability and instance regeneration, the practitioner becomes more divine then human as one achieve true immortality and ascend to the nine heavens. As amazing as is, at least half a century of cultivation is need to reach that level, while Zhimeng has been training hard for two years, she is still just at the very basic entry level of this inner arts, with little benefits except having a younger look and softer skin with better complexion. However, in her spilt personality Mischievous Chaos, she has none of the above powers and abilities, due to her mind automatically commanding her YiJin-Qi to suppress her body instead of reinforcing it. This is due to her mindset that to be carefree, one must not have powers, since with powers comes responsibility, her physically attributes in this mode can be easily compared to a 10 years old little girl with less then half of her body mass. Traditional Chinese Medicine Knowledge: Having learned the science of the human body and the art of healing since she was ten, Zhimeng is reasonably verse in Traditional Chinese Medicine knowledge, including the art of diagnosis, first aid, acupuncture and herbal medications. She also knows how to brew potions and elixirs that has healing or tonic benefits. Taoist Mystic Knowledge: Unnown to her mother, her father is actually a Taoist Priest with great knowledge of the mystics, and he had been teaching Zhimeng the way of the mystics, how the ancient Chinese merge the studies of Science and Theology together, how they used Magic with technology. However, since that is not where her interest lies, she has just learned but a shadow of her father's arts, with specialization is Fortune Telling. Being well trained in FengShui, Palmistry, Astrology and Divination, she has professional designations of CGA (Chartered Geomancy Analyst) and CPG. (Certified Public Geomancer), both awarded by International FengShui Board of Standards. She can also do rituals for preferred weather conditions, such as change of wind direction, asking for raining or sunny weather by setting up an altar with some talismans, cups of wine and some fruits as sacrifices, followed by least half an hour of ritual dancing, the chances of success being comparable to tribal rain dancing. She can also make Taoist talismans that can protect the owner from harm and bring good luck, the results being comparable to tribal rain dancing. Art of War(Mischievous Only): Mischievous Chaos is learned in the art of war, in information, deployment, logistic and strategy, basically, she is basically a unequaled military advisor. Having knowledge in both the Chaos Order (The Art of Warfare) and the School of Chaos (The Art of The Strategic Diplomat and Persuasion). Able to obtain information via careful observation, investigation, research and analysis. Weakness: Fearful of a lot of things, including but not limit to darkness, monkeys, rats, spiders and snails. She is highly sensitive and somewhat phobic of the pain of others, watching people in pain, even light one always make her uneasy, with seeing people in great pain easily causing her mental trauma or fainting, especially if said pain is cause by her. For RP purpose, this means she cannot hit another living human being to cause pain or injuries regardless of situations. Haemophobic Syncope, will feel fear and faint upon seeing or smelling blood other then that of her own, since she sees and smells her own blood at least once a month. Tachophobia, while physically she can run superhumanly fast, her mental fear of high speed limits her speed to just peak human speed, as she will start to feel scared if she run any faster. For RP purpose, she can't do it regardless of situations. Gymnophobia, yes, please don't ask me how someone who is afraid of seeing the naked human body can possible survive so many years in France, then again, she is only afraid of naked men. Yes, Zhimeng is uncomfortable with seeing guys whom are showing too much skin. Will feel giddy upon smelling ethanol or nicotine. Unable to differentiate between left and right, also specializes in unintentional and unpurposeful adventurous navigation (ie: losing her way around places). Due to her high levels of internal qi powers but a lack of skill knowledge on how to used them, another martial artist whom is also skilled in using Qi or a mage can easily steal her Qi to power or refuel themselves, either by placing one hand on her chest and one hand on her abdomen for martial artists or one hand on her abdomen and one hand on her head for mages. The reason why mages can steals her Qi is due to the fact that Qi and Mana are actually two side of the same coin, this will lead to her being exhausted and sleepy or even faint after having her Qi stolen, it would take her at least a few hours to recover. Mystical abilities are comparable to tribal rain dancing, meaning, it seldom works, for the purpose of RP, it never will. All phobias, apart from the fear of others in pain will not apply when she is in her Mischievous Chaos personality. However, her Qi can also be stolen from her in this mode. Equipment She Have: HTC Touch Diamond PDA Phone: Her birthday gift from her father, a great PDA phone that redefines the perception of advanced mobile phones, signalling a giant leap forward in combining hi-tech prowess with intuitive usability and exhilarating design, Style and substance in this phone is not mutually exclusive, one of the best phone someone could own. Asus EEE PC 1000H: Her birthday gift from her mother, a high performance ultra portable PC, being easy to learn, work and play with, this is really the laptop of a lot of people's dream. Being the high end model of the EEE PC from world class computer brand ASUS, this is one device many people long for. Met Helmet: Event Item, a Helmet Made of a unique unknown metal, happens to be indestructable even at the sake of stopping a high speed crushing force. Mu Sky Board: Event item, allows user to surf through the sky on a clear day with little ease. Cannot be used when the day is extremely cloudy or during any type of storm. Residency Request: Fudo Schedule: Homeroom: Elisa 1st: Music 2nd: Gym 3rd: Martial Arts Personality Description: A usually gentle shy and timid girl, always trying to be kind, caring and respectful to other, always trying to please others, and having a fear of making others unhappy. Giving her best to help others most of the time. She also loves to hug and kiss things and people she likes, love or find adorable, for example, she usually does it to new found friends. A strong believer of Confucianism, Taoism and Moism, she always does things according to the wisdom of the ancients, and always trying hard to be the best person she can be, being a blessing to all those around her, as well as being in harmony with nature. However, despite her gentle, shy personality and slender, fragile look, she is in fact a very physically active athletic girl, whom loved sports. Being a bit goofy, she is regularly clueless about what is happening, which leads to hear asking lame questions and making idiotic remarks, which she will always apologies in tears once she discovered her mistakes. However, there is serious and hostile side to her, as she is a faithful follower of Confucianism and Taoism school of thoughts; she has a strong sense of responsibility, righteousness and natural preservation. She will not hesitate to scold some sense into at those whom bully and harm others or harming the environment, no, of course she is not going to hit anyone her wrath, while very difficult to incur, woe be it to those whom manages to do so, then again, since she cannot bear to hurt another human being, maybe not As a girl from a rich family, she has noble grace and elegant to go with her noble and kind heart. Usually acting with class and using refined languages, aside from the occasional goofiness, she truly embodies the refinements a fine lady should have. She is also talented in playing Classical Music Instruments, being a wonder in playing the harp and 古琴 (GuQin- The Chinese Seven String Zither, a gentle soul whom plays gentle, heavenly music. However, she lacks an air of nobility, as while her heart and conduct may be noble, her attitude isn't, always being simple and humble, not putting up any airs you would usually expect from a rich child. She usually prefer to be called Xiao-Meng or Meng-Er by her Chinese friends, Aurore by her Western friends or Yume-Chan by her Japanese friends. However, when she experience mental shock or trauma, there is a possible that her logic, common senses, reason and sanity will all start to break down, releasing an alternate self that lies deep within her sub-conscious, a split personality whom calls herself Mischievous Chaos. Her split personality Mischievous Chaos is, in all sense, a hopelessly insane, brainless idiot. Intentionally annoying to no end, she claims to be awarded the designations "Certified Stupid Idiot" and "Chartered Stupid Moron" by the "Stupid Idiot Board of Standards" as well as the designations "Certified Crazy Lunatic" and "Chartered Crazy Nutcase" by the "International Collage of Insanity", both institutions, of course, are totally unheard of by others. During this personality of hers, she really is the embodiment of chaos and madness, seemingly dedicating her life to the cause of driving other people crazy. However, while being a crazy idiot, Mischievous Chaos is smarter then Zhimeng in one aspect, she does have a better sense of self-preservation, while she usually acts like a stupid lunatic, she is wise, smart and strategic, and acts in order to whatever it takes to save herself and maybe others during times of actual danger. Being whack half to dead is one thing, getting killed is another, at times of needs she is a strategist of the highest capability. Analytic, wise, intelligent and cunning, able to come up with ideas, plan and strategy in a spilt of a second. A master of tricks and conspiracy, able to plot winning plans with minimum infomations. Mischievous Chaos seems like a totally different person, apart from the fact that she has full access to Zhimeng's memories, while Zhimeng has completely no access to hers. Claiming herself to be 'The Deceiver of All Truths', ' The Mistress of The Disturbs', 'The Icon of Chaos', 'The Sagacious Empress of Tricks', 'The Adversary of Sanity' and 'Chaos Lady of This Generation', while addressing others as "My Lord" or "My Lady", well, you have got to give her credit for coming up with so many stupid and lame titles. It is unknown why she has such an idiotic split personality, but since some of Mischievous Chaos' frequently said lines are "I shalt liberated thee from the curse of sanity." and "embrace the freedom of insanity." It might suggest that Mischievous Chaos is undercurrent of the carefree, pristine mind of Chaos with Zhimeng, the instinctive lust of freedom, to be free from social restrictions, reasonability, and even reasons and logic, to escape from all rules and regulation and just release one self, to be absolutely free of all stress and concern, as she says "Laws, logic, reasons and reasonability bounds ye, my lord, it is insanity that shalt set ye free." It might also a result of Zhimeng escaping from reality during heavy mental stress forming a personality that knows no stress, but only fun and joy. The most possible reason however, is that Mischievous Chaos might just be Zhimeng' childhood innocent, the playful and carefree part of herself she had sealed deep within her sub-conscious to become someone of responsibility and social awareness. As her belief that with powers comes responsibility, as Mischievous Chaos, seeking absolute freedom and to be free from all responsibility, she mental suppress her physically attributes with her Qi, causing her to be greatly weaken in Mischievous Chaos Mode. Currently, the only known means by which Zhimeng can be returned to normal after Mischievous Chaos surfaces is via great physically trauma, meaning, by having someone whacking her half to dead, which given her highly weaken condition, is an easy task to do. Personal History: While her father is a story-writer, her mother is The Managing Director of HXL Group, an France Based International conglomerate that specialize in financial services such as Banking, Loans, Insurance, Investments and Wealth Management. A France born Chinese, her family moved to Taiwan to escape the new government after the Chinese civil war, after expending their business to Europe, her parents decided to move to France to live. This is why she has a western name, Aurore. Also, she does not have a Japanese name; Natsu Oriyume is merely the Japanese pronunciation for her Chinese name HanZi (Kanji) Characters. An old friend of her family also starts training her in the arts of TCM and inner strength when she reaches an age of 5, and she finds it interesting and have been practicing hard ever since. When she was 10, her family moved again, this time to The United Kingdom. This is where she met her lifetime good friend Selene Frostfire. While she has many other friends, she always felt something special about Selene, thought nothing romantic. She had always view Selene someone she could never do without, a sisterly love. After knowing of Selene's transfer to Hyakuji High, she requested the same for herself, so that she can be with her good friend again. Her mother agreed as she believes its time for her to see the world. RP Sample: "Where is Zhimeng? She is going to be late for the plane." A beautiful woman in her early thirties exclaimed near the dinning table. "Oh dear, is she still in her room? Maybe she is still unwell from what happened last night." "Should not be, mum" a little girl sitting next to her reply "Second sister was just finishing packing her bags when I passed by her room just now, she should be out of her room a long time. And I didn't hit her that badly last night." Yes, the night before, being too excited about being able to see her friend again, Zhimeng's other side has been release, and the only thing Zhiye could do to stop her sister from going around making a fool of herself was to whack her half to dead, well, it is for her own good. "Then where is she?" "Well my dear," said a handsome looking man in his late thirties, "I think we should send the maids to look for her, she might be lost somewhere in the house." "You have got to be kidding; this is no time for Jokes, my husband." "Honey, I am not kidding." Suddenly, the in-house communication system started ringing. "Mdm, Sir, this is Cui-Er, I am near the store room, Miss Zhimeng just lost her way round here, shall I bring her over to the dinning room?" "Please do." replied the woman, "Oh, my heavens, not again." By now, the little girl is roaring with laughter. "Zhiye, please be a bit more respectful to your elder sister." "I know, but its just so funny." The door opened, and here was Zhimeng, in her new school uniform. "Bonjour, desole, thy daughter beseech forgiveness for her lateness, mother and father; for I hast difficulties finding my way." "In our own house? Sis, you're really interesting." "Well..." a red hue appeared on Zhimeng's face, "Thee know, it does happens sometimes." "Zhiye! Stop making fun and embarrassing your sister. Now, Zhimeng, come and eat, you got a plane to catch!" "Yes mother." Said Zhiye as she ate her food. "So, have you prepared everything?" "Yes father, I have packed my luggage yesterday." "It is a wild world outside there, be carefull." "Yes father, I shalt be wary of the surroundings." "Yeah right, sis." "Please, Zhiye, I shalt be more careful outside." "Ok, I think it's time to go, Da-Tou, sent Zhimeng to the Airport." "Yes Sir!" Replied Zhimeng's driver. As they when out of the house, chatting happily towards the car, a bull came out from nowhere with the owner chasing it and screaming: "Help! The stupid animal has gone mad! Somebody stop this beast before it hurts someone!" as the bull rushes towards Zhimeng. "Dumb animal." A girl next to them said as she throws out a burning ball of flaming Qi at the bull, "Good bye, may we see you for lunch, animal, Solar MicroBolt!" The move hits the cow, burning it alive into a very big piece of steak. "It's ok now, my sister, now get onto the car." The beautiful girl that had just saved Zhimeng is Zhihua, her elder sister, a female martial art genius having mastery over the JiuYang-ShenGong, JiuYin-ZhenJing and Tai-Ji boxing. "Merci, sis." As she and Da-Tou stepped into the pink CNG and Bioethanol bi-fuelled Citroen C1 Zhimeng's mother got for her, Zhimeng wishes her parent farewell. "Au Revoir, father, mother, I will be back during the next vocation." "Bon voyage, my child, we will miss you." "Merci, Mother, but by the way, may I request that thou refrain from shipping the car together with uncle Da-Tou to Japan?" "How do you know I am planning to do that?" "Mother, please, thy daughter will be staying in the school dorm, travel is minimum! It would be rather quaint for me to be drive around by a Chauffeur." "Ok, makes sense to me." Replied her mother as the car drives off. "Here I come, Selene, wonder how has life been for thee in Japan" Though Zhimeng as the car started the journey to Heathrow. "Hope thou have been missing me, ma amies" "There she goes" "Yeah, hope she takes good care of herself." "Hope Mischievous Chaos doesn't does come out." "Yeah, hopefully." Zhiye still remember what happened yesterday night, it was an disaster... "Greetings, my lady, thy servant girl awaits thy command." "Oh heavens, not today. Mischievous, my sister has things to do tomorrow." She knew that her sister's alternate personity had set in, the idiot that addresses everyone as 'My Lord' or 'My Lady' and called herself a servantgirl. The nutcase. "Chaos is with us." What? What kind of answers was that to what Zhiye had said? "Then ask her to get lost! She is not welcome with us." Obviously referring to 'Chaos'. "Now, My Lady, please, it is my duty to help ye liberated thyself from the curse of sanity." "Would you just shut up? That is one curse I have every intention to keep, and I want my sister back." "My Dear Lady, I am thy sister." Said Mischievous with a big smile. "Come! Join me on the path of Chaos, and let madness enlighten thee!" That was the last straw, Zhiye picked her sister up with one hand and throw her out of the window into the backyard, since they are on the first floor, that did not hurt Mischievous much. "This is to prevent the blood from dirtying our room, ok, Chaos, you asked for it." Said Zhiye in a threatening tone as she jumped out of the window, punching own her own left palm while walking towards Mischievous, "Sorry to do this to you again, sis, but you did tell us to stop her at all cost if she took over you..." A few minutes later...... "Are you all right? Sis?" Zhiye asked as blood dripped from her little fists. "Yes, Merci, I shat be fine by tomorrow, desole for the trouble, Zhiye." Replied Zhimeng as she lies down half dead on the grass in a pool of blood, her blood. "Let me help you into the bath room and take a wash, then we will do something about your injuries." Yes, this was what happened the night before. Summary Summary. Zhimeng had been through a few adventures in SHHS, here are the main ones. 1: In a zombie event that leads to Dark Brain's awakening, she met Miyuki, Roz and a free others here. 2: In a Cubic Day event, she met Trystan, Nina and a few others here. 3: In one Arcadia event against vampires, Mischievous was the main one active in this event. 4: In the martial art club event where she tries to help Eiji with his injuries but got kicked by him. 5: In the Mega Man and robot Masters Event, where she got a M-Phone and a Met-Helmet. 6: She helped carry Aisia to hospital during the final part of the Dark Brain story, and made friends with Ayane, Aisia and Elza. 7: In the Mu event, where she got a teleport device and a Mu Sky Board. 8: In the Arcadia mission involving ancient swords, Mischievous help attends to Evan and Hijime's injuries. Mashed Potatoes? Zhimeng: "What? why are there no Mashed Potatoes in this stall, kind sir?" Stall Keeper: "'There is no spoon for Mashed Potatoes here, Miss, we are a BBQ stall." Zhimeng:"Opps..." Edited by Kounoko, Feb 6 2009, 03:57 PM.
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| Yosuke | Aug 4 2008, 09:41 AM Post #2 |
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the profile all in all looks good, but having both the Martial Arts and the Magic seems a bit stacked IMO. If it isn't too much trouble please pick one or the other~ |
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| Kounoko | Aug 4 2008, 10:21 AM Post #3 |
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光の子
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Ok, because traditionally speaking, Taoists of the ancient are usually learned in both martial arts the mystic. The magic is there just to complete the character. I will adjust the magic to make it just for show only, |
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| Yosuke | Aug 4 2008, 12:00 PM Post #4 |
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Edited by Amaya, Aug 11 2008, 10:57 PM.
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| Amaya | Aug 11 2008, 11:05 PM Post #5 |
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Shocking
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UN-APPROVED. This needs to be lowered, a lot. A fifteen year old CANNOT know so many martial arts. You have...6. Which is a lot a lot for a fifteen year old. In addition to 6 martial arts, you also have super strength and speed...with no sort of weaknesses for it at all. No limitations, no duration you can run for. No limit of weight you can lift, speed you can run...it's far too vague. AND you can control chi that burns like fire, and have four different ways to use it...none of which have any limitations beside 'it tires her' in one. You need to tone this down, a lot. Take some things out and give others weaknesses, please. |
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| Kounoko | Aug 11 2008, 11:39 PM Post #6 |
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光の子
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Ok, sure. The only thing is I hope in the future, this can be done before RP starts. No hard feelings, but having to correct after RP started is a bit troublesome. Hope next time, any disapproval and correction can be done before RP starts. Thanks and sorry for the trouble. Edited by Kounoko, Aug 11 2008, 11:44 PM.
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| Amaya | Aug 12 2008, 12:12 AM Post #7 |
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Shocking
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It's alright, normally this does get done before the RP starts, which is why you have to get approved. Only...this is way stacked. Post again if you have questions/are done |
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| Kounoko | Aug 12 2008, 05:04 PM Post #8 |
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光の子
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Ok, done a lot of change, tell me if there is still anything you want me to edit, thanks. |
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| Amaya | Aug 12 2008, 05:46 PM Post #9 |
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Shocking
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Alright for one...you don't really have to give a complete history of the different MA styles. Like...really... I had to pick apart the huge paragraph to even find the part where it says what she can do with it. How does a fifteen year old learn techniques that are so heavily guarded anyway? But lets see how many powers you have right now. -Strength -Speed -Endurance Then the first MA technique has (which she has been learning since she was five apparently...and is now in almost the advanced stage at thirteen...) -MORE strength -MORE speed. Running on water? Um... -Shooting lasers from her fingers -Healing -Some wind pushing attack Then the next MA technique -More resistance -Being 'healthier' You STILL have way too much. Why don't you first pick between having better than human strength/speed/endurance and MA and then we'll deal with it... I don't think you really lessened a whole lot, only now I understand what the different techniques are. I hope the other four you had before weren't this over powered. Post again when you're done again. |
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| Kounoko | Aug 12 2008, 06:59 PM Post #10 |
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光の子
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I just redid it again. This is really very bare minimum, I hope you could understand. The most I can do to weaker the effects. First off, a martial artist that is not strong physically doesn't exist, especially one that has Qi Gong, this is true even in the real wrong, I cannot make ZM a normal girl when not using Qi because that is magic, not martial art. Secondly, things like QingGong, Qi attacks and windy palms are standard in many WuXia novels, and I am not even going into WuXia comics. I can weaken the moves, but removing them entirely would be unreasonable. Thirdly, what she has for 10 years of inner strength training is reasonable for WuXia settings; some WuXia novels have chars that do it in three years. Even if I changed the martial arts to some other ones, she will still ends up more or less the same because that is how Qi is suppose to work in WuXia, which is just an exaggeration of real world Qi-Gong, Nei-Gong and Nei-Dan. Internal Strength martial art is not magic, I cannot pick the effects, turn it on and off or do other kinds of restrictions on it, its like coming up with a fire that can cook but cannot burn or making a cup that can contains tea but not coffee. Finally, I believe we are all here to play the game and have fun; one thing is that a character must be realistically reasonable, making sense. You can ask me to add things like weakness, limitations and such, and I will do it. That is why I add a lot of mental limitations to ZM, because adding physical limitations would likely make the M.Arts into magic or some sort of superpower. Edited by Kounoko, Aug 12 2008, 07:02 PM.
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| Amaya | Aug 12 2008, 08:00 PM Post #11 |
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Shocking
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No you see the point is you're SUPPOSED to have weaknesses and limitations to how much/how long you can use your MA attacks. You still have all the different kinds of attacks too, you didn't remove any at all. You just merged the enhanced strength and speed and endurance into the first MA technique. To be honest, this isn't one of those novels, and yes you can know MA techniques and not be able to run faster than someone on a cycle and be that strong and be able to endure that fast. ESPECIALLY at fifteen. I'm not going to argue, you need to lose some parts of the techniques so she has ONE main power (being the MA) with THREE different main attacks/uses. You cannot have running on water, and shooting lasers, and being super strong, and being super durable, and being able to heal yourself/others super fast. Yes we are all here to have fun, and I'm making it fair for the rest of the people here to have fun. |
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| Kounoko | Aug 13 2008, 02:36 AM Post #12 |
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光の子
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Ok, what if I write it i such a way that it is possible for the M.Arts to be used in such a way, but ZM is not trained to use them in that way. And state that RP wise, she cannnot use those moves? That can remove the ZhangFeng, JianQi, running on water and healing others. But self-healing and bio uping is natural to Qi. Look, I can tune her down, but I can't tune the use of Qi down. I don't mean to trouble you, but Qi is Qi, charater can be edited, the natural of Qi cannot. I have currently reduced the XSJ into a level she cannot do anything with it, and remove all long distant Qi attacks and keep healing others, but I could remove healing others if you want. Ps:For running faster than someone on a cycle, I edited it down few edits ago. Btw, for the crazy animal part, I said before, I intented for some lame things to happen around her for amusment. Look at her, a powerful martial artist that is afraid of causing pain to others.:P A geomancer that loses her way around on a regular basis.:D I mean for her to be lame (in a stupid but funny but not bad way) and amusment to others.XD Lame is fun.XD Btw, I am just trying to explain my actions. Maybe its mindset different, I don't see being lame as that bad. Galaxy angel has been my fav anime from the day I first see it until now and I always though it was lame, but lame in a cute and amusing way. Edited by Kounoko, Aug 13 2008, 03:03 AM.
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| Amaya | Aug 13 2008, 04:47 AM Post #13 |
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Shocking
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Actually, you very much can turn down the natural chi because...uh...you're....you're the one writing it .__. so you can make it whatever you want it to be. Just make a list of techniques she can do, and realize what you put on that list will be what you can use, and ONLY that. I dont care if there's 20 different techniques in whatever MA thing, and that normally people would be able to use all 20, you're allowed to use three. Tops. Post when you're edited. |
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| Kounoko | Aug 13 2008, 05:18 AM Post #14 |
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光の子
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Ok, now she just have high physcially ability and healing others. I can edit and remove the healing if you want. Her strength cannot be used to attack any human being because of her phobia. Anything else you want me to edit? Done. Edited by Kounoko, Aug 14 2008, 11:34 AM.
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| Amaya | Aug 16 2008, 01:42 PM Post #15 |
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Shocking
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alright lets get back into this... -See you're saying she can lift three times her weight, and really good at running and stamina, and this is WITHOUT using chi. so if this is WITHOUT, how much can she lift and such WITH the chi? -...what's this about another personality now that has different powers or something? You should maybe deal with what you have to change first before adding bells and whistles. -Annnnnd I need to know about all of this "FengShui, Palmistry, Astrology and Divination, she has professional designations of CGA (Chartered Geomancy Analyst) and CPG. (Certified Public Geomancer)" stuff. What she can and can't do and such. I got a complaint from someone that you completely analyzed their character and knew everything about them in a glance. You...can't do that :T |
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