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The Death Of Me; [closed]
Topic Started: Feb 18 2012, 11:07 AM (560 Views)
Lelil
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Born with a heart broken from the start
Emiko let out a small scream as Deus’ hand suddenly grabbed her arm, preventing her from moving and getting out of the bed. She stared at him with a look of disbelief and shock. What was he saying? That she was going to stay here with him and the imps? “Are you joking?” the girl asked with astonishment as she followed him with her gaze.

"After last time you wound up in such a state. Clearly your roommates are useless if they allowed you to get in such condition in the first place. I'm not letting you out of my sights until you're better."

He sounded resolute and Emiko was just gaping before realizing that he went out of the room. “H-hey, wait,” she called out and fumbled with the blankets to get out of the bed. As she stood up she suddenly felt dizzy and had to take a moment to wait until it passed before she could join Deus in the kitchen.

Despite a few hours of sleep and rest it wasn’t enough to make the proof of several restless nights disappear, the dark bags under her eyes were very prominent under the light and her complexion looked pale and lifeless. Emiko wasn’t even fully aware of how she looked.

Taking a seat by the kitchen table she tucked her feet under her and watched as Deus moved around in the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets. She wasn’t completely sure of what he was doing, because surely he wasn’t cooking… right? Emiko continued watching him in silence, afraid to say something that would break the mood and make him shun her again. She wanted them to reconcile.
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Cypriss
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Deus sighed heavily as he got some things down and set up the rice cooker. Nothing fancy, chicken broth, noodles, some chicken he fried up quickly with peas and carrots. Classic chicken soup. He even made some grilled cheese to go with it. A simple meal for her to be easy on her throat and to give her some strength back. It was important to eat something hearty to make up for the fact that she hadn't eaten much.

"You've gotten thin." He said flatly. "You were squishy before but now you're pointy." He said with a laugh as he put the bowl over beside her. "If you finish a whole bowl I'll answer anything you ask." He said idly. "That's the deal..So eat..."

Even if he had to stoop to something like this he had to make sure she ate. He was sure she'd gotten sick due to lack of sleep and eating. He wasn't entirely joking when he'd said she got thin. She looked awful. So even if he had to put himself on the spot he'd do it if it was for her to get a bit better..
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Lelil
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Born with a heart broken from the start
"You've gotten thin. You were squishy before but now you're pointy."

Emiko rolled her eyes at his comment. Just like always, and it made her heart skip a bit. She couldn’t tell if things truly were like normal or if both of them were trying too hard to create some kind of façade that soon would crack. As Deus put a bowl of chicken soup in front of her Emi opened her mouth, “Thank you so much, but I’m not h-“

"If you finish a whole bowl I'll answer anything you ask. That's the deal.. So eat...”

She looked at him with surprise. Was this his way of apologizing? Letting her know everything she wanted. Or was this his way to get the opportunity to express himself? Maybe it was too hard to speak freely and answering questions made it easier. This also kind of saved some face, or at least in Deus’ eyes since he didn’t break down or back down in the same sense.

Pulling the bowl closer to herself Emiko at first ate slowly and tentatively, the lack of appetite visible. But somehow it grew and she was actually eating quite heartily, even asking for half a portion of soup more. When she was done and pushed the bowl to the side and the silence fell she suddenly felt a little tense. Glancing at Deus she wondered if she could start her questions now, then realized she didn’t know what she should start with. Was he angry with her? Had he purposefully avoided her even in school? Did he miss her? Was she really an outsider? Would he ever let her in? Was he just toying with her?

“Deus, what am I to you?”
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Cypriss
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...So this was the question she chose? He couldn't help but feel a bit shocked by it. It was a big complicated question that sort of cut right down to the heart of everything that had been going on between them. He wanted to run away from it but at the same time he agreed that it was high time he settled this conversation once and for all. So the question remained..

What was she to him..?

An outsider, someone he could throw away? Someone that caused him nothing but trouble? Well she was certainly all of those things. Btu not really any of them anymore either. She had long ago quite being outside the world of his problems, and even if she caused him trouble, it really wasn't so bad with her around.

"Hmmm..." He paused stroking his chin. "Annoying?" He said bluntly as he sat at the table. "Annoying and... exhausting... painful to be around... you're also like... the starting line to things beginning?" He said as he tried to puzzle through it, his line of logic completely inscrutable.

"Before I met you there weren't any good or bad times.. Each day was pretty unremarkable and honestly I probably couldn't sort them all out in my head because the actions and events of each day repeated over and over. It was like a perfect cycle where nothing changed. I rather enjoyed it, in so much as it was easy and effortless, and nothing bad ever happened.."

That's right.. back then he'd been able to live a calm life without problems or struggles. And yet he couldn't look back on those times happily. Living a life like that, what was different from it and being dead? Experiencing nothing, accomplishing nothing, feeling nothing. It was a pathetic way for him to avoid pain. He saw that now.. He saw it clearly.

"Since I've met you though it seems like the days are more and more full of good and bad things.. That there are moments where I am extremely happy but there are also times where I'm angry or sad. A cycle of pain, and happiness, and good things, and bad things... A repeating cycle but it's never the same. Each day is a lot more memorable.. and.."

That wasn't all was it..? Because like he'd said she was the starting line for things in his life. He had a bit of a hard time articulating this, so he'd have to call bad a memory he'd really rather leave buried, which was of his brother and their confrontation that had dragged Emiko in, which was still a point of shame for Deus.

"Well... like with my brother. I wonder if he was affected by you and that's why things unfolded with Sheryl..? And maybe I came to understand him a bit more too. Before you and I met we were continuing an ongoing cycle of hatred from our parents without really thinking about it. Nothing started to move until I met you. It was a perfectly still world..."

He sighed heavily before interlacing his fingers in front of him, working them together uncomfortably. "There are times where I wish I could go back to the way things were before I met you.. because you're dangerous and you disturb my world."

"but.. I already can't go back to that sort of lifestyle.."
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Lelil
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Born with a heart broken from the start
Without realizing it, or even knowing why, tears had started to blur Emiko’s vision while Deus spoke and soon they were trickling down her pale cheeks.

What he was saying meant so much to her, it made her blissful and each word seemed to fill her with meaning and hardened an already ironclad resolve of not leaving him willingly. He had said more than she had hoped for and Emiko realized that she had needed to hear all of it more than ever. She had really started to doubt herself and doubt her importance to him, but now all of that was gone and she was feeling a mixture of serenity and content.

To Emiko Deus had grown to become indispensable in her life, that was why their fight had hit her so hard, and there had been a wish for him to feel the same. And while she knew that he didn’t have the exact intense feelings she did, what he felt was more than enough for her. Because he had moments of extreme happiness with her and those of sadness, but she was the one who made each day memorable for him and she didn’t want it to be anyone else.

She had set his world into motion. She was his new beginning.

Suddenly Emiko started to chuckle through her tears and she wiped them away while saying somewhat embarrassedly, “Err… this might be a little silly, I guess. I mean, especially now after you just said all of that, but I got one more question…” she scratched her chin nervously and avoided looking at Deus, “… um, why did you get a 1 on the test?” Emiko’s cheeks felt hot but she couldn’t help it, she just had to know. Or else she would always wonder and never be able to let it go.
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Cypriss
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"...ugh." He said with a growing sense of dread. In the end she still couldn't let it go? He'd gone through all of that, to such an extent it was nauseating to think about, and she STILL couldn't let something as meaningless as the test score go? He really couldn't comprehend the mind of a woman.. He sighed heavily and glanced to her before looking away awkwardly.

"Well.. there was.. this time.. when I was younger.." He said fumbling a bit feeling a sickening feeling of humiliation growing in his gut. "Well.. Sheryl.. she.. before she was engaged.. well... She kissed me.." He said finally blurting it out, however there was one thing he absolutely didn't want to say and yet he still had to. None of this could come to a close until he was completely honest..

"...on the cheek.." He admitted before getting annoyed. "It jsut felt uncool to answer no to everything!!! I didn't want them to read it out loud or something! Sheesh! I embellished a bit!!" He said turning red and stomping around furiously, he was well past his tolerance level for humiliation.

This was awful, an all time low.
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Lelil
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Born with a heart broken from the start
Emiko stared at Deus with a blank expression.

But that lasted for approximately four seconds before she lifted a hand to her face, trying to keep her laughter in before it burst out. It was a remarkable transformation to see Emiko smile. Just moments ago she had looked so pale, so thin and so fragile, perhaps even lifeless, but now she was laughing loudly and had a big grin on her face that went from ear to ear.

Emiko had been right when she had told Thanatos that all the pain would be worth it, because now she truly was radiating happiness. Once she gained all the weight she had lost during this week she would look more beautiful than ever. Not because her looks had changed in some way, but because she would be more confident and joyful which translated into her appearance. Now, no mater what Deus possibly would tell her in the future to push her away for some unknown reason, she knew the truth. And she would always remember it.

Finally Emiko stopped laughing, thinking that an embarrassed Deus looked really cute. “Don’t worry,” she took her plate and bowl and turned towards the kitchen, “I’ll pretend that I don’t remember this tomorrow and won't hold it against you,” Emi looked over her shoulder with a small smirk as she placed the dishes down in the sink, “but... today I will.”



~*~ New beginnings and extreme happiness rose bubble sunshine sparkle butterfly anime backdrop ~*~

The end.
Edited by Lelil, Feb 24 2012, 09:34 PM.
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