The unsaid words.

Random

You know I can’t take one more step towards you,

She kept watching him. For a far away, of course. That was the exact time when she really wanted to leave, to erase all the memories kept spinning on her head—and she really, really hates it. She took a deep sigh, and bite her own lip. One second later, she shook her head and started to stare at another side. Yes, she stopped watching him.

Cause all this waiting is regret.

She didn’t realize that her cheek was going to wet because of her tears. She just realized—that she has been waiting for long, for a very long time she could survive. She never stopped admiring him, never, never before this time. Before she got really tired and decided to give up—although deep down, it still exist. The love still exist, and half of herself forced her to keep survive. But she knew, she was wrong.

Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore?

Being a stalker was the one she really didn’t want to, she really avoid to. She never really watches over someone, right before she met him. Well, he was not the only man in the world, but he was her world. She had no idea how to blame, why did she wants to blame, and who the one had to be blamed. It began since he always treated her like a princess—and the hope appeared. She knew nothing; she just began to realize that she was in love.

She did love him, but she doesn’t love him anymore.

You lost the love I loved the most.

She lost her world. Her life suddenly stopped, and she even ever thought that death will much better than the pains she suffers. The time when he left her—with no texts, no calls, just suddenly disappear—then she was looking for him all the time, until one day, she found him kissed another girl. It just—is there any word could describe much more than hurts?

I learn to live, half-alive—

She loved him. Once. She has been waiting for so long, she has been survive without any confession, has been being a stalker, secret admirer, yet she ever kept dreaming if she could have him. But in fact, she couldn’t. She never could.

“…Hello.”

—and now you want me one more time?

She took another sigh, then she glared at the pair of eyes she missed so much. “Mmmh.” Yes, she didn’t reply with the same word—because she never, never ever wanted to give another hello. Which probably means—another start.

“I’ve been looking for you…”

He said so, because he never knows how much she ever missed him, how long it takes to heal her own pain, to stop looking for him all the time… Until this accidentally meeting. He didn’t know. He doesn’t know. Yet she doesn’t want him to know. Even she felt nothing when he confessed he has been looking for her… Because she stopped believing. It just—too late. There are too many pain couldn’t be healed, and remains as scars on her heart.

“Then?”
“I miss you.”

Who do you think you are, running ‘round leaving scars?

“Thank you.”

After all those pains, after all those suffer, after all the time she used to cry in erasing the memories about him, then he wants her back?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I can explain the reason why did I leave. I still.. I still love you.”

She smiled, “But I don’t.”

So don’t come back to me, don’t come back at all.

She might be pretending all the time, but this time, she wasn't.

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(c) Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts.


Itu fiksi pertama saya, dengan grammar dan vocabulary pas-pasan. Jadi mohon maaf u____u