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Water Wars; Hydrologic devastation
Topic Started: Mar 7 2011, 06:55 PM (6,173 Views)
tekaramity
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27 and -not a day older-
We've voted on our favorite characters. Why not escalate that debate to its inevitable conclusion:

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This is a simple forum game made up stolen from elsewhere and refined to fit Precocious. Since this forum merely crawls even at its fastest, the game may not draw much interest. That won't stop me from testing the waters, though. (Ed. note: Of course, I just saw the front page announcement. Way to coincide launching this alongside a Precocious break week, Tek.)

The game is a hydrologic variation of the oversaturated Hurt 'n' Heal, inspired by the battle mechanism employed during the Gemstone Estates Gender Wars. This time, however, all 13 kids in Ms. Monster's combined 4th & 5th grade class are targets...and we are the ones hurling the water balloons. Sound good? I hope so...

This is how I'd like to see it play out, in the interest of fairness and wider participation:

---

Rule #1 - No dying.

Rule #2 - The NPC parameters.
>> Each kid starts with 10 HP. Each water balloon attack knocks off 1 of their HP. Once they have 0 HP, they're knocked out of the war.
>> There is no way to heal characters; that would likely extend this war incongruously. (I'm playing this conservatively, if you couldn't guess, out of restraint.)
>> The kids will be ranked at the end according to the order they were knocked out. The winner of the war will be the only kid left standing once the other 12 kids have lost all their HP.
>> The kids can't fight back; they are entirely at our mercy here (for once).

Rule #3 - The PC parameters.
>> You may only target a single kid with each post. Attacks always count; they can't miss. (100% accuracy? Precocites have really high stats, what can I say?)
>> You may post your attacks however you see fit - within the bounds of good taste. Try to keep in mind, though, that this is a water balloon fight. Nuclear weapons and firebreathing dragons need not accompany your assaults. Have some fun with the lexicon, though! "I toss a water balloon at [Kid]. Splat." That is perfectly acceptable. "I unleash a wellspring of unending torment and hydrostatic rage upon the meek and unassuming [Kid]!" That is perfectly acceptable *and* in good fun! "I CHOKE [KID] TO DEATH MWAHA PH33R GLGERLGJ!" That is daft. Please don't act daft.
>> Make sure to tabulate the attacked kid's new-and-one-fewer HP in your post. I don't think it's necessary to copy & paste all of the kids' current HP totals, unless a couple people appear confused.
>> If you knock a kid out, you can either wait for me to post a knockout image and quote...or, if you're game, you can borrow the tools I already set up. This Photobucket album hosts 13 knockout images and corresponding quotes, one for each kid. I'll put up a victory image & quote for the winning kid once the war is over.

Rule #4 - No dynamite.

Rule #5 - The iffy parameters.
>> The most chiefly iffy issue I can foresee is time & count between posts.
>> In the interest of wider participation, I'm going to advise that you allow at least 3 other board members to post before you take another turn.
>> Also, I'm going to suggest that you may only attack a particular kid a maximum of 4 times throughout the entire war.
>> These guidelines are designed to encourage wider participation and prevent one person from chopping off the entirety of one kid's HP. I'm optimistically hoping that over 12 people will participate in this, but even 10 would be ace. If participation is down below 8 (or lower), I'm going to assume there's a general lack of interest and will look to rescind the game.
>> Finally, although this probably needn't be said, Chrispy isn't allowed to participate. >=/ For the record, I won't be participating either unless the battle really hits a dry spot - although, again, that would indicate a lack of interest. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to play along. Just have fun, if you like.

---

That ought to cover everything. I'll edit this post if need be, though, for clarity or any other general revision. I would definitely appreciate feedback of any sort, as well.

Ready your water balloon stock...

Posted Image

Let the water wars begin!

Bud - 10 HP
Autumn - 10 HP
Jacob - 10 HP
Tiffany - 10 HP
Suzette - 10 HP
Dionne - 10 HP
Max - 10 HP
Roddy - 10 HP
Kaitlyn - 10 HP
Quincy - 10 HP
Vincent - 10 HP
Yvette - 10 HP
Xander - 10 HP
Posted Image ~ TekaRainbow Dash: Living the dream. ~
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Iron Ed
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I am out playing with my nifty 'Aeroglide' radio-control airplane (the model with the mini-cam in the nose) and spy Max and Dionne playing Sapphire Bowling from their hilltop vantage. Throttling the engine back for quiet, I put my li'l plane into a shallow dive. At the last moment I hit the release button and then gun the engine to pull away.

<<SPLAT!>>

Circling around again I see Dionne still standing there frozen in shock and still holding her 'bowling' ball; her fancy, pageant hairdo is a sagging, soggy mess.

Max is cringing in horror. He knows he is the only possible target in range to take the brunt of the imminent explosion... :O

DIONNE: 10 - 1 = 9 HP remaining. ;)
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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InsanityKangaroo
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King of Bouncy Insanity
Three streets away, I've dug small trenches in the beaches of another lake and partying like its 1915 in Europe. Using GPS signals picked up from Ed's RC plane to pinpoint the general area of where Roddy currently is.

Firing off a small barrage of water balloons, I discover that the angle of the pneumatic howitzer is off by two degrees, apparently hitting Suzette in the process.


Hearing the loud yell of anger and a sworn oath to hunt down and destroy whoever shot the water balloons. I mutter,'aw crud' and hunker down to await the inevitable.




SUZETTE: 10-1=9 HP Remaining
Yes, that is a terrorist with a cowboy hat on that missile. A Do-It-Yourself Guidance System if you will.
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cyfrostan
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away
As today's IWD (International Woman's Day), therefore I request an authorization for a Global Orbital Water Balloon Strike (GOWBS for friends) targeted at all Y chromosome carriers. Do you copy?

(Also happy IWD to every lady on this site!)
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Cookie
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Ahh, I just drank that.
I peek slowly from the bushes, eying Xander, water balloon in my hand. I prepared for the right time to strike.

Xander turned around to face me with his eyes lowered. "I can SEE you there," he snorted matter-of-factly.

I shot out of the bushes and flung the balloon at Xander, soaking him..and he proceeded to chase me with his balloon.

Xander: 10 - 1 = 9 HP
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Roland
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I walk slowly towards the open street with something special. It is big! It is awesome! And it belongs in a water balloon war!
Kaitlyn was the main target!
She recognizes directly that it's an electric-charged water balloon Gatling gun based on the m134 minigun! It has a firing speed of 3000 rounds per minute.
Her face turned peel immediately...
Within a fraction of a second, she was hit by hundreds of water balloons!

Quote:
 
if (Kaitlyn.hit == true)
{
Kaitlyn.HP-=1;
}
Edited by Roland, Mar 9 2011, 05:07 PM.
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<( o_o)> ~{::| Science leads to the hidden paths of the universe... |::}~ <(x_x )>
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DRB_II
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Roused from my latest project by the sound of... was that Gatling gun fire? No, no, couldn't have been: that would be silly. Still, so long as I'm here, might as well what the hubbub is. A quick glance out the window reveals a water balloon fight of epic proportions has broken out amongst the neighborhood children.

Dashing back to the hall closet, I find my own hydro-delivery supplies are sorely lacking. One measly balloon. I may not add much to the chaos this day, but I will add something. Taking great care to fill it just so, I step out into the midday sun in search of a target, and I find, hiding in my own yard no less, young Tiffany Et. I let loose my volley, and quickly return to the relative safety of indoors, only to find one Jacob Linkletter, also attempting a sneak attack on the Et girl, now in the path of my balloon.

Eh, close enough. Frankly, I'm surprised he lasted this long without getting hit.

Jacob: 10-1=9 HP

(Note to self: Before this day is up, replenish balloon supplies)
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cyfrostan
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away
Do I get authorization or not? Guess not, well can't fault the guy for trying... They don't make those orbital strikes like they used to, now agents gotta manage themselves, oh well... I pack my supplies, apply the camouflage (mask, suit, die my fur green with tissue paper(it's easier to wash off this way)) and head out into the field (woods actually), climb up to the top of some beech tree at the edge of the woods and use my binoculars to scout the area. Well, well... looks like some maniac already broke out the fight. Poor Kate... well thats one objective failed, I knew the only sure way to prevent the madness was to nuke 'em from orbit, but does the command ever listen? Nooooo... looks like the only way to keep things quiet is to eliminate targets one by one as quickly as possible. Wait. Someone's coming... I hide between the upper branches of the tree and carefully peek carefully. Target identified - Suzette Grady. If this one joins the fray things might really get out of control. "As if they haven't already" I think to myself. I wait for my target to move along and when she's far enough away, I slip down into the bushes and set up a heavy pie launcher (©Ecosystems Unlimited), I duct-tape my trusty watter balloon to a raspberry pie. Lock and load, wait for my target to move away to the safety distance, lock on and... FIRE! A waterballoon-pie hits her in the back of the head and it's only then I realize I don't have enough time to dismantle the pie thrower... I use some of my homemade explosives (granny's recipe) to... well, explode the whole thing and barely escape my now furious victim under the cover of smoke and flames, knowing that no one will connect me to the incident... After all "Where there is smoke there are sapphires..."

Suzette 10-1=9 HP
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Roland
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I walked towards cyfrostan, asked for a piece of pie and used it to build a giant black hole. I threw some water balloons in it combined with some more pie...
My calculations were correct! Cyfrostan recalculated the piece and came to this formula:

(pi * pie)/infinity + m * c² = die hard pie water balloon.

tekaramity threw some cookies in it! And the black hole exploded with a massive amount of water balloons. It was splashy!
Accidently, Vincent got hit by one of those water balloons...

Vincent / ammout of luck - number of water balloons = 10 - 1 = 9HP left...
Edited by Roland, Mar 10 2011, 05:00 PM.
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<( o_o)> ~{::| Science leads to the hidden paths of the universe... |::}~ <(x_x )>
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Iron Ed
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I am walking along the sidewalk and juggling three water balloons at the same time. Turns out this may not have been the smartest thing I've ever done.

Walking and juggling at the same time, I keep my eyes turned up and focused on the water balloons. That's my only excuse for tripping over the cute little calico sitting and drawing pictures on the sidewalk. I manage a quick forward roll to avoid falling on her and come up smiling, happy to have saved two of my balloons anyway.

My smile doesn't last long. Seems the third water balloon landed squarely between Tiffany's fuzzy little ears; now it's dripping onto her sidewalk drawing as she silently glares up at me.

Stammering madly I try to apologize, but the only word she lets me get out is...


...AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiffany: 10-1 = 9 HP remaining
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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Cookie
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Ahh, I just drank that.
I climbed in quietly- or so I thought- through Bud's open window. I misplaced my footing, though, and with a clash I fell to the floor.

"Stay back, PC!" Bud shrieked. "I'm armed!"

He was indeed armed. He set down his egg beater and took out a water balloon.

In fear, I tossed my water balloon and it splashed Bud's face. The end. :D

Bud: 10-1= 9 HP
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Iron Ed
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Tiffany has a hold on my tail (And her claws are sharp!) and is using it to dry herself off, while I try to hang onto my two remaining water balloons and massage my poor ears at the same time.

Suddenly she whips around with a glare and points at me! And I lose a second water balloon when I recoil in horror. Then, without turning her eyes from me, she swings her arm to point across the street. That's when I realize she hadn't been pointing at me but at my water balloons.

Just across the street I see Xander and Yvette walking along together. Xander is off on one of his tirades and poor Yvette is catching the brunt of it. She is too sweet tempered, and too timid, to just walk away from him.

I smile bravely at Tiffany and give her a little bow; she kicks me in the shin and points again. So, after a quick little dance, I turn, eye the distance and let fly my last balloon in a long, soaring arc.

Even Yvette squeals with laughter at the sight of the suddenly speechless Xander with a pint of water running from just above his left ear all the way down his side. Then Yvette turns to run, giggling all the way.

Tiffany nods her head with a "Hmph!" of satisfaction and gives me a pat between the ears.


Xander: 9-1 = 8 HP remaining
Edited by Iron Ed, Mar 17 2011, 08:56 PM.
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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slick kat
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is slick
From my hiding spot in the hedges of Diamond Bluffs, I notice Dionne walking towards her mansion, sopping wet and infuriated from Iron Ed's earlier attack. I look down the street, nobody else is in sight. I think to myself, "Self, you've got this lovely water balloon that's just begging to be thrown, and a target who already happens to be soaked. Why not?" As Dionne passes my position, I jump out onto the sidewalk, yell my viking battle cry "YYYYEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!" and throw my water balloon at a whopping 25 mph! Dionne, whipping around in fear at my cry, is caught square in the face with the force of a 1/2 pound of water. I then scurry away as rapidly as possible, not daring to glance back at what I'm sure would be my death.
Dionne: 9hp - 1 = 8hp remaining
Never underestimate the power of the dark side.
Ever.
Seriously, just look at Dionne and you'll understand why.
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Iron Ed
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Short-cutting across the Oven's back yard I discover Casey's snow launcher hidden in the weeds behind the greenhouse. Apparently Mr. Oven hasn't gotten around to actually disassembling it yet.

With my best evil laugh I quickly put together fresh water balloons and aim the snow launcher towards Bud's open bedroom window. I know he's in there because I can hear a "clash" of noise as he's moves something around.

I pull the release lever and watch as three water balloons fly through the air to cleanly enter through Bud's window. There's the satisfying sound of a major splash and then an outraged scream.

Just as I get well into my triumphal victory dance I realize; that scream did not sound at all like Bud, but the laughter I'm hearing now certainly does. I peer out from behind the greenhouse to see what's going on...

Oh no!! That's not Bud looking out the window; it's COOKIE!?! And she's soaked! And... very, angry looking. Fearing for my life I turn to ru...


Cookie: -1 HP
ME: AAUUGGHHH!
Edited by Iron Ed, Mar 27 2011, 10:59 AM.
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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Cookie
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Ahh, I just drank that.
In blind fury I reached into my backpack for another balloon, only to find out that I had no more. I glared at Bud. "Gimme one of your balloons. Like, instantly."

Though Bud would have retaliated at once, he *really* didn't want to anger me anymore. He handed me a couple of balloons and I shot through the window.

I chased Iron Ed throughout the neighborhood, threatening to clean his clock. Since I was still sopping wet from being hit with his water balloon, I tripped over a puddle I had left, and my balloon flew through the air, inconveniently splashing Suzette.

Suzutte: 8-1= 7 HP

Iron Ed begins to hold back his laughter as Suzette gives me an angry lecture about me "betraying our own gender". Geez. That girl has some issues she needs to work out. u.u
Edited by Cookie, Mar 27 2011, 08:54 PM.
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Purplecat
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From the depths of sapphire lake, with a rush of water and a blare of sirens, a submarine surfaces.

The conning tower creaks open, and a purple feline pops out.

Striding down to the shore, he intones, in a grave voice:

"So.. It has come to war, has it? Unleashing a torrent of hydric devastation on a group of innocent guilty but unconvicted children, until they are drained of all energy?
Why would we do such a thing? For the sheer sick thrill of seeing their egos crushed beneath a ton of water balloons? To leave them cold and shivering against the cruel march winds? To laugh with wickedly thrilling delight as a generous quantity of high velocity water mingles with the sad saltiness of their tears?"

*looks at notes*

"Ahem... No we wouldn't, because that would be wrong.
No, the only reason to perform such an act would be to eliminate an even greater source of evil. And where in this quiet suburban setting would we find such a concentration of malevolence? I'm not talking about youthful high spirits, or even youthful high spirits with high explosives. No. In order to justify such an intervention, I would need to see evidence of evil of the darkest and most sickening kind."

*A submariner appears, bearing an entirely non-dodgy dossier*
"Kapitan! This message, it has arrived for you."

*I take a brief glance at the short message*

"FIRE!"

A single water balloon is propelled at mind-boggling velocity towards the target. From the lake shore we hear a faint "Sploosh", followed by an even fainter "Ow..."

Dionne: 8hp - 1 = 7hp remaining
Condemnare delenda est.
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Iron Ed
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Well here I am, safely hidden (I hope!) ten feet off the ground and curled up on a large limb amongst a clump of small branches and leaves. My little, grey fox-ears flag at every sound like paranoid radar antennae. My nose twitches periodically, searching for the slightest scent of Evil as I pant heavily from my exertions.

Dang, that Cookie is fast! I thought I'd never lose her. Now I just have to hope she doesn't look up, or at least not too closely at my little nest of branches. A noise! Time for a quick look... I open my eyes to peek out from where my bushy tail is covering my face and...

Wait. Where's my bushy tail?!? Aww, crud. What kind of idiot leaves his big, bushy tail hanging in plain sight below his hideout? Oh, wait... That would be me. With a big sigh I belatedly pull my tail up and wrap it across my nose and forepaws. Maybe she didn't see it.

After a few moments I peek out again. "That's not Cookie," I think to myself. "It's Autumn! I wonder who she's stalking like that... Well, apparently it's not me at least. Maybe I... No. Yes. Uuh... dang. This is too good to pass up!" Autumn's sneaking along is going to take her directly beneath my hiding place. With a quiet sigh, and a wicked grin, I reach out and nudge my fresh water balloon from its place and watch as it drops from the tree.

Autumn howls with rage and whips around to fling her own water balloon at me. It hits the underside of the limb I'm hiding on top of, right beneath where I'm lying. Wow! She's good! I am sooo glad red foxes aren't that big on tree climbing. Unfortunately they can be pretty accurate otherwise I discover as I endure a barrage of pine cones, small sticks and whatever else she can grab.

Luckily for me as long as I stay on top of my limb Autumn's missles bounce off the underside or pass harmlessly on by. Hey, wait a minute... What's she doing with that match?!? Autumn has gathered some of the sticks she was throwing and arranged them below my hiding place along with some tender. It all catches fire easily and quickly builds to a worrisome size flame. I'm about to be toasted! (Even without a red shirt. ;-))

I huff and I puff, but that's no way to put out a campfire. Maybe if I can lean down just a bit close... AUUUuuugh... SPLAT! Well, that's one way to put out a fire; fall out of a tree and land on it.

Quickly I gather my feet under me, pat out the scorched fur and hit the trail running hard. Autumn's fast but she's no Cookie and I'm quickly out of sight again.


Autumn 10-1 = 9 HP remaining.

"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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Iron Ed
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"Hey, Ed... Can I have one of your water balloons?"
"Sure, Vincent. Here, catch."
...one -gentle- toss later...
***SPLOOSH!!!***
"Aaawwwww..."


Vincent: 9-1 = 8 HP remaining
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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Cookie
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Ahh, I just drank that.
After sitting out for a while eating a Lunchable, I threw away my trash and took out another water balloon, off on my hunt to track Ed down.

My steps slowed as I sneaked down the sidewalk, preparing to strike at any..moment..

As soon as Ed's gray fur was in my sight, I charged as fast as I could go, accidentally knocking over unexpecting Vincent.

"Owwww..." he winced.

"Oops. Sorry Vince." I gave him an apologetic look and walked away. A few seconds later, I walked back over to him and threw one of my water balloons at him.

"AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.."

Vincent: 7 HP remaining
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Iron Ed
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Cookie?!? EEP! Zooomm!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Edited by Iron Ed, Apr 8 2011, 11:38 PM.
"It followed me home, Mother. Can I eat it?" - Ririt
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