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Domestic Disputes
Topic Started: Nov 3 2014, 12:40 AM (1,275 Views)
Wahoo08
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dhk1980
Nov 4 2014, 05:37 PM
Wahoo08
Nov 3 2014, 11:51 PM
I think Lord Z had the most well thought out post of this thread, ATroms. I also agree with him that his question isn't one that you need to answer here on the forums.

Self-admittingly, I probably have one of the most cynical views on marriage that you'll come across, but I've witnessed so many cases of divorce that it's hard not to. I believe you can love someone, but at the same time, they may not be a great long-term match for you. More than just love is required for a strong long-term relationship.

Just keep in mind that if you and your girl peruse this relationship, these will probably be the LEAST stressful times of your relationship. Wait until you are arguing about kids, mortgages, finances, retirement, etc. Your fight about missing a Halloween party looks juvenile in comparison.

Of course, the flip-side is that there will be fights in any relationship and you could make the argument that it is how you handle the aftermath that is more telling than the fights themselves.

Either way, best of luck to you.
i'm sure you've posted thousands of great posts like this. too bad they just disappeared into thin air back in the old board. :p
You have no idea how excited I was when the old board crashed and all you guys lost everything. Damn thing had to come back though :)
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Wahoo08
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BDW
Nov 4 2014, 07:45 PM
He was never a member of the old board. He just came on briefly at the end there. Check out his join date and post count. Obviously a noob.
And thank god I found your board right before it crashed. I'm just going to make myself at home with you guys.
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Wahoo08
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spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 04:13 PM
Ash
Nov 5 2014, 03:58 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:56 PM
ATroms
Nov 5 2014, 03:50 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:48 PM
How old are you Atroms? Not meant as a demeaning question or to set up a joke, just curious.
28
Alright, then it seems a bit soon to get kids.


You say that, yet most people under that age here (North America) have several kids!
Which seems so strange to me. No way I'd want the shackles of parenthood where I'm at in my life right now. Right now I can't imagine having kids before 35. There's just too much I wanna do and quite frankly I'm loving the freedom I have right now, I'm having a blast! Hell, even being in a serious relationship seems too hindering right now hehe.

I have a friend my age who became a father last winter and every time we meet he bitches about how he misses being able to go out when he wants to and how he kinda regrets having a baby this early in his life. I mean, I want to do what I want when I'm still young and in my twenties. I remember talking to him about all this stuff before his girlfriend got pregnant and he said he wouldn't mind being a parent already. His thoughts on that have definitely changed since then.

These are my thoughts as well. I can't imagine having a kid or being married right now.
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split decision
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Porn savant
Wahoo08
Nov 6 2014, 12:06 AM
I'm just going to make myself at home with you guys.
What the fuck does that mean??? You plan to loaf around on the couch with your slippers and robe on, letting your balls hang out?

You'll endear yourself only to a person or two here with that approach, Wahoo!

:p
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ATroms
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Wahoo08
Nov 6 2014, 12:08 AM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 04:13 PM
Ash
Nov 5 2014, 03:58 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:56 PM
ATroms
Nov 5 2014, 03:50 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:48 PM
How old are you Atroms? Not meant as a demeaning question or to set up a joke, just curious.
28
Alright, then it seems a bit soon to get kids.


You say that, yet most people under that age here (North America) have several kids!
Which seems so strange to me. No way I'd want the shackles of parenthood where I'm at in my life right now. Right now I can't imagine having kids before 35. There's just too much I wanna do and quite frankly I'm loving the freedom I have right now, I'm having a blast! Hell, even being in a serious relationship seems too hindering right now hehe.

I have a friend my age who became a father last winter and every time we meet he bitches about how he misses being able to go out when he wants to and how he kinda regrets having a baby this early in his life. I mean, I want to do what I want when I'm still young and in my twenties. I remember talking to him about all this stuff before his girlfriend got pregnant and he said he wouldn't mind being a parent already. His thoughts on that have definitely changed since then.

These are my thoughts as well. I can't imagine having a kid or being married right now.
I believe were the same age??

Its just so damn tough to obtain the 'American Dream' in this life nowadays. I want nothing more than a couple brats & a wife. Fuck, i was ready for that 5 years ago. But the world makes it next to impossible to ever be in the perfect position for that anymore..

Ya with me??
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Cbear
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ATroms
Nov 6 2014, 12:40 AM
Wahoo08
Nov 6 2014, 12:08 AM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 04:13 PM
Ash
Nov 5 2014, 03:58 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:56 PM
ATroms
Nov 5 2014, 03:50 PM
spasgur
Nov 5 2014, 03:48 PM
How old are you Atroms? Not meant as a demeaning question or to set up a joke, just curious.
28
Alright, then it seems a bit soon to get kids.


You say that, yet most people under that age here (North America) have several kids!
Which seems so strange to me. No way I'd want the shackles of parenthood where I'm at in my life right now. Right now I can't imagine having kids before 35. There's just too much I wanna do and quite frankly I'm loving the freedom I have right now, I'm having a blast! Hell, even being in a serious relationship seems too hindering right now hehe.

I have a friend my age who became a father last winter and every time we meet he bitches about how he misses being able to go out when he wants to and how he kinda regrets having a baby this early in his life. I mean, I want to do what I want when I'm still young and in my twenties. I remember talking to him about all this stuff before his girlfriend got pregnant and he said he wouldn't mind being a parent already. His thoughts on that have definitely changed since then.

These are my thoughts as well. I can't imagine having a kid or being married right now.
I believe were the same age??

Its just so damn tough to obtain the 'American Dream' in this life nowadays. I want nothing more than a couple brats & a wife. Fuck, i was ready for that 5 years ago. But the world makes it next to impossible to ever be in the perfect position for that anymore..

Ya with me??
I was told a long time ago if you wait to have kids until you can afford it, you never will. But, I also understand wanting to be financially stable in life before starting a family. One thing everyone should do but doesn't is to start saving as young as you can; compound interest is your friend.
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Deleted User
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We were able to "afford" our kid before we had him. :)

That saying is rubbish imo.

financially, we've had no worries with out child - it's the time that makes it difficult.
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Skeletonrock
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Don't have kids. Don't do it.

Do you like junior high kids? Do you like teenagers? Do you like people in general?

A kid is all those things much longer than they are a baby. A kid is a baby for like 2 1/2 years and then they are a person who demands all your time and energy and money and doesn't really give a shit about you. And when you fuck it up, they turn into massive assholes that ruin everyone else's life. Don't have kids. Get a dog. Get a hobby. Go fishing. Take up crafting your own beer. Join a gym.

Don't. Have. Kids.
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LordZardoz
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I think that people should not have a kid unless they are very sure that having a family is something they want in their life, and like Skeletonrock said, you have to keep in mind that unless something fucked up happens, having a baby means also having a small child and teenager. If that is not something you want in your life, then take the appropriate measures.

The 'wait until you can afford it' thing is also somewhat true, at least as far as there is generally never a perfect time to have a kid. You are always going to have reasons not too (if your poor, you will think you cannot afford it. If you are a high power CEO, you will think you are too busy).

In my case, my wife knew she wanted to have a baby. I knew that while I was not so interested in an infant, I liked the idea of interacting with my child once they had developed the ability to use a toilet and were capable of speaking. I also realized that I was probably as ready to have a kid as I was ever going to get; I figured I could handle it financially as well as anyone can, and that I at least had the whole 'get married and be in a stable relationship' part of it nailed down. If I had waited a few more years, I do not think my feelings would have changed too much.

END COMMUNICATION
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Deleted User
Deleted User

Like Skellie just said - get her pregnant and all your arguments/fights/drama, etc will go away.

Great advice Skell-man!
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Deleted User
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LordZardoz
Nov 6 2014, 12:10 PM
I think that people should not have a kid unless they are very sure that having a family is something they want in their life, and like Skeletonrock said, you have to keep in mind that unless something fucked up happens, having a baby means also having a small child and teenager. If that is not something you want in your life, then take the appropriate measures.

The 'wait until you can afford it' thing is also somewhat true, at least as far as there is generally never a perfect time to have a kid. You are always going to have reasons not too (if your poor, you will think you cannot afford it. If you are a high power CEO, you will think you are too busy).

In my case, my wife knew she wanted to have a baby. I knew that while I was not so interested in an infant, I liked the idea of interacting with my child once they had developed the ability to use a toilet and were capable of speaking. I also realized that I was probably as ready to have a kid as I was ever going to get; I figured I could handle it financially as well as anyone can, and that I at least had the whole 'get married and be in a stable relationship' part of it nailed down. If I had waited a few more years, I do not think my feelings would have changed too much.

END COMMUNICATION
Wait a second. Isn't your wife Japanese? I thought Japanese people laid eggs.

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split decision
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Porn savant
Atroms, has this thread helped you at all???

:D
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dhk1980
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split decision
Nov 6 2014, 12:21 AM
Wahoo08
Nov 6 2014, 12:06 AM
I'm just going to make myself at home with you guys.
What the fuck does that mean??? You plan to loaf around on the couch with your slippers and robe on, letting your balls hang out?

You'll endear yourself only to a person or two here with that approach, Wahoo!

:p
you've already made 2 posts in the last 12 hours mentioning balls. i get you're a balls-man spilttie. :p
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dhk1980
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Skeletonrock
Nov 6 2014, 11:53 AM
Don't have kids. Don't do it.

Do you like junior high kids? Do you like teenagers? Do you like people in general?

A kid is all those things much longer than they are a baby. A kid is a baby for like 2 1/2 years and then they are a person who demands all your time and energy and money and doesn't really give a shit about you. And when you fuck it up, they turn into massive assholes that ruin everyone else's life. Don't have kids. Get a dog. Get a hobby. Go fishing. Take up crafting your own beer. Join a gym.

Don't. Have. Kids.
you drunk again skellie? :p
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Refugee Roundhouse
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#1 Tito Ortiz Fan
I admire that you want to be financially secure before having kids. As Bulldog said, you may be overestimating the position you need to be in, but I'd rather more people took your approach. There's enough people out there not financially ready or emotionally ready to support a child, that are reliant on others.
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