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Daisuke Mizushima
That what I thought, anytime you have something that doesn't seem like it should fit with a character it should be explained. If he's from a lower class family and has a nice watch people start wondering where he got it. Just some things to keep in mind.

I'm looking forward to having you on board.

Daisuke Mizushima
The character is interesting, though I'd like a bit more about how he got some of his more expensive things. Is he from money, does he steal, or work somewhere in town?

Also, make sure to check your spelling and grammar. Cereal killer stuck out pretty bad (it's 'serial killer'). Other than that I don't really have a lot of notes. Fix that up for me and I think we'll call it good, unless Tara has more to add.

All kinds of awkward

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