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INCEL or “Involuntary Celibacy”
Topic Started: Sep 11 2012, 10:59 PM (7,585 Views)
Rasko
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INCEL or “Involuntary Celibacy”

Incel is the state of desiring a sexual partner but being unable to get one, a little known term but everyone knows what it implies. Due to the asymmetric nature of male-female attraction, in which many women are attracted to a minority of men, whereas most men are attracted to large proportion of women, (something we see in other mammals in which males compete with each other for access to females) incel is overwhelmingly a male issue:

The causes of incel:

First I define incel as someone who is trying or who has actively tried to get into a relationship by approaching women in his social circle, online or elsewhere but has been rejected every single time. In the vast majority of cases this is due to a poor physical appearance, particularly facial appearance. Women are attracted to men largely on this basis. Facial attractiveness is largely heritable, hence it says more about a man’s genetics than any other factor. The lower a man’s facial attractiveness, the more resources he needs to bring to the table to make up for his sub-standard genetics. In the cases of incels, their facial attractiveness is generally so low that they are unable to do this. Having said this, while resources can sway women’s choices they are no substitute for attractiveness, unattractive men with resources “attract” only gold diggers who rarely love their victims.

Though less common, an unattractive personality can also be the cause of incel. Men with autism or Asperger’s syndrome are highly likely to be incel. Like facial attractiveness, autism and Aspergers are innate and unfixable.

The effects of incel:

Incels react to their deprivation in a variety of ways, I can find no better description of it than this (not written by me):

Phase 1: The young naive incel
Age: 14-18

These are the high school years of the incel. They'll get their first oneitis (anything before high school doesn’t count), get friendzoned, worship her, and be quickly rejected by them once they muster the courage to ask her out. Incels usually don't rack up too many rejections during these years, usually only around 10-30. The thing is, incels around this age are still living in fantasy land. They still have a very rosy view of women and keep telling themselves they are just "late bloomers". They ALL think that things will suddenly turn around for them in college because of all the movies they watched where college portrayed as a fuck-fest utopia where everyone is getting laid.

Phase 2: The college incel
Age: 18-25

Once incels spend their first year of college, approach a lot of girls, and still get rejected 100 percent of the time, the reality sets in that college is nothing like the movies....at least not for ugly guys (but of course they ether don’t realize they are ugly or realize they are ugly but think getting women has nothing to do with looks and only has to do with "personality" or "game). Somewhere between their 2nd and 4th year of Uni they realize that they are not just "late bloomers". After coming to this realization incels kick it into high gear and fire at all cylinders. This is when they go all out and make a herculean effort to get a girlfriend and will spend the vast majority of their spare time on this quest...most even cut out their hobbies completely. They try PUA, getting make-over after make-over, buying expensive trendy clothes, working their way into mixed gender cliques only to realize that all the girls are going for the best looking guy in the clique while they ignore all the other guys, online dating, approaching women at bars, clubs, parties, and coffee shops, getting friends to try to fix them up with a girl, approaching ugly/fat women, and pretty much anything else you can think of. This is where incels rack up a huge number of rejections, and how many incels obtain elite status by acquiring over 1000 rejections.

After going full throttle for a while but completely failing depression hits them like a ton of bricks. They'll go to see a therapist and get on antidepressants which of course do not work for them as situational depression cannot be cured with ether. After this they will return to whatever hobby they used to try to fill in the void that incel creates.

Phase 3: The older incel.
Age: 25+

This is where incels really branch off. The three main paths for this phase are:

A) The mature career motivated incel. Every incel has something they use to distract themselves from being incel. At this age these incels use work to do this job and become workaholics. While the non-incels can't wait to get off work and come home to their wives/girlfriends, these incels are working overtime. Out of the 3 main types of older incels they are the most likely to get married (as they are by far the most likely to be financially successful)....but to 30+ fat single mothers and end up marcel, and usually getting divorce raped.

These incels/marcels also have hobbies on the side to help them distract themselves during their lonely nights (which is every night for them). However, these incels/marcels have outgrown their hobbies from their teen and early 20s years (or abandoned them as they are no longer socially acceptable at their age) and replace them with more "mature" interests like sports, politics, or history....which at this day and age is easier than ever to do given the fact that ESPN, C-span, and the history channel are on 24/7. Those channels were made for incels/marcels. You know those older guys you know who know the exact order of every draft pick for every NFL team or every facet of world war II? Most of those guys are either incel or marcel.

B) The incels who don't grow up. These are incels who retain the same hobbies they had when they were in high school and college. They usually do mediocre career-wise. Most of these guys keep approaching women off and on until they are like 40.

C) The addict. These are the incels who try to fill in the incel void with vices (drugs/alcohol, etc.). Most of these guys just completely give up and try really hard to convince themselves that their vice(s) of choice are so much better than relationships. Their logic to support this theory is that the vice(s) are available to them whenever they want, unconditionally (as long as they have the money), and that relationships suck anyway.

These incels are usually incels they dropped out of college and usually have shitty dead end jobs that they are unable to hold down for any long period of time. You don't see many of these incels on the internet as they are too busy getting drunk/high and spending their nights at strip clubs or fucking nasty street hookers (and they spend all their money on these vices so they don't have the money to pay a monthly internet bill).

Why is incel important?

Incel should be interest to all those interested in human evolution and variation. Incel is simply the result of female sexual selection. It was found that humans are descended from twice as many females as males, so if 80% of females reproduced which seems reasonable, only 40% of males did. Now not all of this will have been due to female mate choice (a lot of it may have been due to powerful groups of males hoarding multiple females), but a great deal of it surely was.

Prevalence:

It’s hard to get good data on the prevalence of incel but a rough guess would put it at 10-20% of males in developed countries. In Japan which is probably worse than average it was found that 25% of unmarried men in their early 30s were not just incel but virgins. The author of the survey was almost certain that was an underestimate.

Due to the increase of female selectiveness caused by the decline of monogamy incel has increased, and will likely continue to increase


Edited by Rasko, Sep 12 2012, 12:26 AM.
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Delilah
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LOOOL Rasko perhaps you can write your thesis on this! :P

This theory of yours is not true. Plenty of unattractive people find love. Looks are not everything. When a guy is very sweet provided he doesn't look too horrible(mind you) it helps quite a lot.
Edited by Delilah, Sep 11 2012, 11:03 PM.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Beast
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Delilah
Sep 11 2012, 11:00 PM
LOOOL Rasko perhaps you can write your thesis on this! :P

This theory of yours is not true. Plenty of unattractive people find love. Looks are not everything. When a guy is very sweet provided he doesn't look too horrible(mind you) it helps quite a lot.
When are you going to learn that most people have vastly different perceptions to yours before dishing out your "not trues"? Besides earlier you commented negatively on two guys who were by no means unattractive, so what does that say?
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Delilah
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Thoth
Sep 11 2012, 11:06 PM
Delilah
Sep 11 2012, 11:00 PM
LOOOL Rasko perhaps you can write your thesis on this! :P

This theory of yours is not true. Plenty of unattractive people find love. Looks are not everything. When a guy is very sweet provided he doesn't look too horrible(mind you) it helps quite a lot.
When are you going to learn that most people have vastly different perceptions to yours before dishing out your "not trues"? Besides earlier you commented negatively on two guys who were by no means unattractive, so what does that say?
LOL so that's why you are so butthurt? Geez were those two guys Estonian? I don't find them attractive but maybe another woman will.
I'm sorry if you find my way of expressing my opinions so irritating.

Edited by Delilah, Sep 11 2012, 11:11 PM.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Beast
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Take a look at your avatar. I made the smart-ass comment, and the only one butthurt in the situation seemed to be you. Maybe it was inappropriate, but I tend to have a general problem with females who think too highly of their value in the dating market. I extend my apologies.
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Delilah
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Sep 11 2012, 11:17 PM
Take a look at your avatar. I made the smart-ass comment, and the only one butthurt in the situation seemed to be you. Maybe it was inappropriate, but I tend to have a general problem with females who think too highly of their value in the dating market. I extend my apologies.
Hmm. I gave the wrong impression then. I don't consider myself hot stuff at all. I was annoyed yes but not butthurt because you are not my friend or anything.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Rasko
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Many women will deny that facial ugliness (and hence poor genetics) is the reason a man gets rejected, because they don't want to be seen as shallow. Delilah is a typical example of this as can be seen with her penchant for posting examples of extremely good looking young men even though she's middle aged herself.
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Beast
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I would like to add that I believe incel can often be down to environmental factors. Being raised by a single mum (or a pussy whipped dad) and having no good male authorities in the crucial years of childhood, or buying into the "women are princesses" trend prevalent in society, making these naive men put women on a pedestal, which is never a good sign.
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Delilah
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Rasko
Sep 11 2012, 11:23 PM
Many women will deny that facial ugliness (and hence poor genetics) is the reason a man gets rejected, because they don't want to be seen as shallow. Delilah is a typical example of this as can be seen with her penchant for posting examples of extremely good looking young men even though she's middle aged herself.
Hey there are good-looking guys my age as well! At least actor-wise.

Well Rasko men do this as well. I'm sure you have too. No one likes to be considered shallow.

But Rasko I really meant that about a guy being sweet. That really does help enormously. A woman might have a dreamboat but if he treats her like shit than who needs that?
Edited by Delilah, Sep 11 2012, 11:30 PM.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Rasko
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Quote:
 
Well Rasko men do this as well. I'm sure you have too. No one likes to be considered shallow.

The difference is that while men may have a preference for good looking women most will be perfectly content with an average or even below average woman. Women are not so accepting, otherwise there wouldn't be so many incels around.
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Delilah
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Rasko
Sep 11 2012, 11:30 PM
Quote:
 
Well Rasko men do this as well. I'm sure you have too. No one likes to be considered shallow.

The difference is that while men may have a preference for good looking women most will be perfectly content with an average or even below average woman. Women are not so accepting, otherwise there wouldn't be so many incels around.
Hmm I don't know if I really believe that.

I think men like model-types more than women.
Edited by Delilah, Sep 11 2012, 11:38 PM.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Beast
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Delilah
Sep 11 2012, 11:33 PM
Rasko
Sep 11 2012, 11:30 PM
Quote:
 
Well Rasko men do this as well. I'm sure you have too. No one likes to be considered shallow.

The difference is that while men may have a preference for good looking women most will be perfectly content with an average or even below average woman. Women are not so accepting, otherwise there wouldn't be so many incels around.
Hmm I don't know if I really believe that.
Women can only be impregnated by one man and need to choose more carefully, whereas men don't have such limitations. Most men don't have any problems with going for average or below average women, regardless of what type of women they lust for.
Edited by Beast, Sep 11 2012, 11:40 PM.
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Delilah
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Thoth
Sep 11 2012, 11:39 PM
Delilah
Sep 11 2012, 11:33 PM
Rasko
Sep 11 2012, 11:30 PM

Quoting limited to 3 levels deep
Hmm I don't know if I really believe that.
Women can only be impregnated by one man and need to choose more carefully, whereas men don't have such limitations. Most men don't have any problems with going for average or below average women, regardless of what type of women they admire.
I wasn't talking about sex.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Beast
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Man-woman relations have everything to do with sex and it's silly to assume it's not the foundations of any behaviour involved.
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Delilah
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Sep 11 2012, 11:41 PM
Man-woman relations have everything to do with sex and it's silly to assume it's not the foundations of any behaviour involved.
I can only speak for myself. But I am looking for love not sex. I know the two are intertwined but sex is not my primary motivation.
Edited by Delilah, Sep 11 2012, 11:45 PM.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Rasko
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Sep 11 2012, 11:43 PM
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Sep 11 2012, 11:41 PM
Man-woman relations have everything to do with sex and it's silly to assume it's not the foundations of any behaviour involved.
I can only speak for myself. But I am looking for love not sex. I know the two are intwined but sex is not my primary motivation.
LOVE needs attraction first. Affection without attraction results in friendship at best.
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Delilah
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Rasko
Sep 11 2012, 11:45 PM
Delilah
Sep 11 2012, 11:43 PM
Thoth
Sep 11 2012, 11:41 PM
Man-woman relations have everything to do with sex and it's silly to assume it's not the foundations of any behaviour involved.
I can only speak for myself. But I am looking for love not sex. I know the two are intwined but sex is not my primary motivation.
LOVE needs attraction first. Affection without attraction results in friendship at best.
Yeah you're right Rasko.
"Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything. Whoever has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices." St. Teresa of Avila
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Toiletman
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It's nothing new. I'm a kind of half involountarily celibacy, too. I don't find anybody sexually attractive but I want to try it somewhen. Also I do try romantic relationships and they fail. There was this one Ukrainian but no, that would not have been unethical but also suicidal considering her husband was with us half the time.
If you take anything in this forum overly serious, you should really go and see a doctor.
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Rasko
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Toiletman
Sep 12 2012, 12:10 AM
It's nothing new. I'm a kind of half involountarily celibacy, too. I don't find anybody sexually attractive but I want to try it somewhen. Also I do try romantic relationships and they fail. There was this one Ukrainian but no, that would not have been unethical but also suicidal considering her husband was with us half the time.
Most asexual men are incel like you. They don't care about sex but they still have strong romantic desires, which go unmet.
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Ulrich
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I reject women left and right cause they're always fat or ugly and I wont take that shit. I guess considering I am not exactly ugly or anything I do get people who like me, my problem is I never like them, they're always too nice to me, dress too normal or too ugly to me which doesnt attract me. I often like women who are somewhat dangerous or gothic looking. I guess I am the male version of a female whos attracted to "bad boys".
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