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Why men don't fancy funny women
Topic Started: May 1 2012, 10:46 PM (716 Views)
Crimson Guard
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Heard the one about the comedienne who tried to lure a man with her best gags? Well, they fell rather flat, because most men find funny women a turn-off.

Research to be published this week in a leading academic journal confirms what many female comics - and funny women - have long suspected: men are frightened by their brand of humour. While men might chuckle at the odd gag, when it comes to finding a long-term companion they do not want a partner who will fire a stream of witty repartee at them, according to the study carried out by academics at some of the world's top universities.

"Men see being funny as a male thing," explained Dr Rod Martin, who led the project. The findings are published in the scientific journal Evolution and Human Behaviour this week.

Hundreds of men and women in their twenties were questioned. Asked if they found a sense of humour to be attractive in women, most men said yes. But when they were asked if they would want to be with a woman who cracked jokes herself, the answer was a resounding no.

"When forced to choose between humour production and humour appreciation in potential partners, women valued humour production, whereas men valued receptivity to their own humour," said Dr Martin.

More than half the men who took part in the survey revealed that a witty woman was not what they were looking for in a partner. Dr Martin said the findings suggested that men see themselves as the ones who should be delivering the lines and feel threatened by humorous women.

The revelations came as no shock to some of Britain's funniest females. Meera Syal, who co-wrote and starred in the BBC comedy show Goodness Gracious Me, said: "The idea that men are more interested in having an audience rather than sharing banter doesn't really surprise me.

"Women see men with a sense of humour as dangerous and sexy, while men see it as threatening. Basically, what it comes down to is that humour is a mark of intelligence. Many men don't really want to be the recipient of a cutting remark in public that will make them look small or stupid."

Ms Syal, who has also written novels and screenplays, added: "When we were touring with Goodness Gracious Me, we had a troupe of two men and two women, and there were always loads of girls at the stage door wanting the autographs of the men, but never any boys wanting ours.

"That said, I am with somebody who really, really likes the fact that I have a sense of humour. It depends on the bloke and if he wants an equal and the sexiness of banter, which is essentially a form of foreplay. I might have toned down my humour with men I fancied when I was younger, but not now."

Dr Martin, a psychologist at the University of Western Ontario, says the research may shed light on the failure of female stand-ups who struggle to impress some male audiences.

"One of the reasons why men don't like female comedians may be that humour is seen as a masculine thing," he said.

In the 25 years that the Perrier Award for new comedy has been contested at the Edinburgh Festival, only two women have won it. Laura Solon took the prize last year. "It is a difficult industry to work in and there are a lot more men than women," she told The Independent on Sunday yesterday. But her award-winning wit had not wrecked her personal life, she added.

The research project, which also involved academics from the University of Massachusetts and McMaster University, Ontario, showed that while men were not so interested in "humour-producing women" in long-term relationships, they showed a preference for such types when it came to short-term relationships and one-night stands.

Lucy Porter, of BBC1's The Stand Up Show and Five's The Comedy Store, said that the people who did chat her up probably did so because "they think that if you are outrageous on stage, then you are going to be really dirty in bed."

Most female comics admit that their wit is far less potent than that of males when it comes to seduction. Oriane Messina, of Radio 4's Bearded Ladies, said: "I can't say I've laughed a man into bed, whereas I know plenty of men who have laughed a woman into bed. I temper my humour for certain situations, which might include when I meet a man I find attractive. I think some men find funny women intimidating.

"I went speed dating last year, and was considering lying about what I do, but in the end I told the truth. If they are going to be put off, then they are not for me."

Bovvered? 'A joker must be a lesbian'

Catherine Tate made her name as a stand-up comic. She is now the star of BBC2's 'The Catherine Tate Show'

"I do recognise this type of man. They think that because you're being funny you are entering their domain. Men like this see women doing comedy as operating outside the bounds of what they should be doing. They are the kind of man who assumes that a woman who cracks a joke must be a lesbian. But certain people are like that. Some backward types are threatened by funny women. It's mad. After all, I wouldn't be threatened by a man who can cook."

Susan Murray: Star of the stand-up circuit

THE JOKE

"My parents are from Glasgow, which means they are incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child. Well, maybe one or two grams just to get me to sleep at night"

THE BLOKE

"I'd like to meet one. But not a spousaphobe. And not one who scratches himself in public"

Ronni Ancona: Star of 'The Big Impression'

THE JOKE

"I used the Cabbage Soup Diet, You can shift 8 or 9lb, but I wouldn't recommend it. You fart like a trooper. You lose more friends than weight"

THE BLOKE

"My breasts come up a lot. I wish they wouldn't, to be honest, because I'm terribly body-conscious"

Lucy Porter: Star of Five's 'Comedy Store'

THE JOKE

"My parents had a typical Catholic wedding. My father was a repressed homosexual and my mother was sedated"

THE BLOKE

"They think that if you are outrageous on stage, then you are going to be really dirty in bed"

Jo Brand: Star of 'Through The Cakehole'

THE JOKE

"How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house? Look inside your pants. If you find a penis in there, it's not time"

THE BLOKE

"Never trust a man with testicles"


http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/why-men-dont-fancy-funny-women-525001.html
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Demir
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I agree, I really don't think women cannbe funny and sexy at the same time.
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Robert
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I think in general people aren't really attracted to people who are cracking jokes all the time. Even women to guys. Guess it depends though.
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Delilah
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I prefer a guy who is receptive to my wit. If he can't kid around a little about himself, he is a dud.
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Pyramid Song
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I love it when girls are creative and actually funny. Maybe most guys don't feel that way, but I'm certainly really attracted to a funny personality.
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Dragos
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I like funny women...they spare me of all the work...but high spirited women are kinda rare, they take it as a social role and wait for the man to do the approach and be the funny one.
Edited by Dragos, May 2 2012, 10:12 PM.
"The savage lives within himself while social man lives outside himself and can only live in the opinion of others, so that he seems to receive the feeling of his own existence only from the judgement of others concerning him." Jean Jacques Rousseau
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Liza
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I wish I was funny, but i'm too shy. I have a female friend who is really, really funny (the class clown) and everybody seems to love her.
"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason."
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Demir
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Funny and "class clown" are not attractive.
Witty women are something else...
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Tsirkus
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Liza
May 2 2012, 10:44 PM
I wish I was funny
me too
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Berserk
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Demir
May 2 2012, 10:59 PM
Funny and "class clown" are not attractive.
Witty women are something else...


I agree with you. I tend to view women who joke around a lot as manly in their behavior; like one of the guys. I don't want that in a mate. As a friend, fine, but in general most men don't find Sarah Silverman attractive because of the way she behaves, rather than how she looks, since she is generally a pretty girl.


Would find her attractive if I didn't know who she was or what she did. She looks like the cute, Jewish girl next door in these pics:

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But then you see this and it's a real turn off, at least for me:


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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3RYrQSir7k[/youtube]
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Crimson Guard
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Men dont like cause she's a dirtbag.
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Dewd
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berserk, that's because some like to idealize women as these perfect beings who can't do clownish stuff that's more associated with the domain of guys probably or put them up on a pedestal where they don't do anything but sit there and look pretty and innocent all day. i don't think a girl having a bit of a sense of a humor is a turn off in my opinion, but i agree that if they do it too often in a forced, artificial kind of way, or try to be funny and actually aren't, then it's not gonna work. and it's gotta be a compatible sense of humor too.

i can also see how it can be seen as threatening, at least subconsciously, and gives some guys the idea that "things aren't in their place" or the way they're supposed to be, which is bs. i like back and forth argument and a girl who actually has a little kick or spice to her and snaps back sometimes with a meaningful way rather than just blindly agreeing with everything in a boring way, but if they're constantly throwing in witty or snide remarks all the time and in response to every situation (especially feminist oriented jokes like in the OP), i can see how it can get old and cause a relationship to sour. this can quickly turn into the perception of nagging, which kinda leads downhill
Edited by Dewd, May 3 2012, 06:50 AM.
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Berserk
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May 3 2012, 06:42 AM
Men dont like cause she's a dirtbag.


Well, I don't tend to find her jokes funny. She makes racial jokes all the time, which I'm not going to complain about, but make sure that if you're going to do it, at least be funny. The clip that I just posted is a perfect example of what I mean; people in the audience were just laughing because they thought that they should be; her material is crappy.

Even if she was funny though, I would find her unattractive due to her behavior as well. I want a girl who acts like a lady, not like a whorish clown.


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Even when she does Maxim, she ruins it by joking around about sex, which is a huge turn off:

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Formaldehyde
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Sarah Silverman is hidious and annoying. Can't stand her.
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Tsirkus
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Berserk
May 3 2012, 06:37 AM
As a friend, fine, but in general most men don't find Sarah Silverman attractive because of the way she behaves, rather than how she looks, since she is generally a pretty girl.


i don't like Sarah Silverman she is vulgar and lame
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Formaldehyde
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She has huge nostrils
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Gayetri
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Men for most part of time want nothing more than sex so anything that reduces attention from it is a distraction for men and thus men find those distractions on women as unattractive.
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Tsirkus
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esmeralda
May 3 2012, 02:42 PM
She has huge nostrils
i have bigger ones :D
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Formaldehyde
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No you don't.
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Robert
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Gayetri
May 3 2012, 02:50 PM
Men for most part of time want nothing more than sex so anything that reduces attention from it is a distraction for men and thus men find those distractions on women as unattractive.
^That's not entirely true. To some extent it is though. If a woman opens herself up and makes it obvious all she is good for is sex, then men will take advantage of that (usually it's the vulgar/crude women who are like that, like Sarah Silverman. They're usually the desperate and easy ones and most guys are aware of this.) But most people want something more meaningful. Vulgar/crude women who try to be funny are a romantic turn off because there isn't any deeper romance/meaning to them. It's like trying to fall in love with a whoopee cushion attached to a flesh light or something. A guy will think of her as one night stand material. A guy will have sex with her but won't fall in love or anything because the woman doesn't have any deeper substance.
Edited by Robert, May 3 2012, 02:58 PM.
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