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Oct 04
Kitty Girls Love Birthdays
And mine is this week! Wow what a lucky kitty girl I am
One thing that you must know about kitty girls is that they each believe that their birthday is a national holiday. Much like Christmas, their birthdays require a countdown of anywhere between one month to one week. Small presents may be presented to the kitty girl daily over the course of this countdown. Specialized songs are required for each kitty girl celebrating both the day and the month. Kitty girls love decorations and anything shiny or hanging from the ceiling will keep them mesmerized. Don't forget to decorate your kitty girl! They love to dress up and would gladly wear a costume in public. It is wise to integrate some theme into the celebration as kitty girls like wearing different costumes and seeing new decorations each year. The most important point to remember is that your kitty girl needs attention! Call, write, sing birthday songs, join her in dressing up, and send presents. Remember this is a national holiday (in some cases even an international holiday)-so you should have fun too!
This kitty girl is having a mummy themed birthday...
Birthday...coming soon to a kitty girl near you.
May 04
Nice Doggie?
A kittygirl's love of all things cute does have its limits. We usually call them puppies.
While you may see an adorable creature waiting to share its love we see an evil calculating monster. It wants to eat you! Really! That's why it looks so happy and drools all over-they're always hungry. The greet you by getting a taste and then they start getting on your good side acting all cute. Next thing you know they're trying to bite your fingers off. Don't be fooled by those little ones-they want your toes. Not only that but dogs take over everything. They need to be let out and they roam all over and they harass visitors. They're so loud with their barking and they smell and shed and never leave dead rodents and they are scary and, and...always the center of attention, those evil little...make it go away-its staring at me-sooo scary-I hide here while you make go away...will give you rodent
Apr 14
Captain Serakitty and the Good Ship Sarnie
Editor's note: when master is gone for a long time kitty girls tend to become delusional. You'll see what I mean.He's been gone for days now. Captured by the evil villain Holiday. Such a nice name for such a nefarious being. First Holiday lured him with important combat training, then wilderness training with Helmsman Vandal and his Lordship Flash. Finally road trips and visiting. That villain Holiday. Communications are sent every few days. He is well...for now. But I'm running out of chocolate.
I am Captain Serakitty of the Good Ship Sarnie and I'm going to capture him back.
The following entries were found in the Captain's log:
"feeling piratey-I think I'd like to abduct master, wonder if I'll get the chance before the weekend"
"yarr we be mooring our ship on the coast-searching Britain for the elusive master-best disguise ourselves mateys"
"yarr we be finding a fast moving land ship called a train-will ride it to the midlands-master ahoy!"
"yarr-they've a shop for disguises-apparently this is how the natives dress: http://tinyurl.com/cudoh5"
"yarr-have decided on a peasant dress to help me blend with the crowd: http://tinyurl.com/czwxof"
"yarrr-men of the good ship sarnie-are you with me? we sail to the midlands by train!"
More to come...
Apr 11
Kitty Girls like Top Gun
In 1986 a movie was produced which showed naval aviation at its best. This movie starred the F-14 Tomcat or as the kitty girls who love it prefer to say: TOM KITTY.
Do you love TOP GUN?Kitty girls do. If your kitty girl is in the mood for an aviation related film chances are she either wants to watch Top Gun or Battle of Britain. Drop a few quotes from either film and watch for your kitty girl's ears to perk or tail to twitch. Try playing "That Loving Feeling" or saying "This is going to be complicated." When she starts to purrr you'd better put the movie on. One important thing to remember is that your kitty girl will find Top Gun a sad movie. Have tissues, chocolate, and hugs ready as soon as Goose and Maverick eject. Kitty will want to play when the movie is done. Have a flight simulator, model tomcats, or whatever else happens to suit the occasion. CAUTION: Do not watch this film when you are sleepy. It's time to play!
Mar 29
On the Nature of Energy Swings
One thing which you must understand about kitty girls is that they have rapid swings in their energy levels. Kitty girls tend to be perky, glomp, and pounce without notice, etc.
However, kitty girls also tend to get very sleepy. All that activity spends their energy quickly. Although they will attempt to remain perky through their sleepiness, you must be prepared for a glomp to suddenly turn into nap time. When kitty girls are sleepy they enjoy sun spots, soft blankeys, and snuggles. To this end, it may be wise to make sure that a bed is conveniently located in a room with optimal sunlight and that blankeys are readily accessible throughout the home. Yet again, kitty may be very perky when you are sleepy, it is best at this time to tell her that a cat nap is in order. Such an offer is almost impossible for a kitty girl to resist. One caveat would be if the kitty girl is hungry. The desire for food often supersedes the desire for sleep. The results of feeding a kitty girl will vary, either making her sleepier or renewing her energy.
Mar 26
Kitty Girls Play Nonsense Generator Games
Nonsense Generator Games are fun! Kitty Girls like playing with fun random games. Here is what we got when we put "cat" into a lyric generator:
I am not making this up. Try it for yourself here.
That's all for today-go play with those games like a big ball of yarn. yay yarn!
Mar 25
Chocolate Joy
Kitty blog is back! Today's topic is chocolate. Unlike cats, Kitty girls love chocolate.
Yesterday I learned that there is nothing like a piece of rich, delicious chocolate pie to revive a hungry kitty girl. Yum! Just remembering its deliciousness makes me smile. Is your kitty girl depressed, stressed, lonely, hungry, awake? Chances are she wants some chocolate. Give her just a little nibble and her color will return. But masters beware. Chocolate looses its efficacy if she always has a steady supply. The healing properties of chocolate rely on the kitty girl not developing an immunity to its bittersweet goodness. Get a snack size bar and keep it in your pocket for emergencies. If you must leave kitty alone for extended periods you may wish to leave her with a small supply of chocolate pudding. Otherwise, you may have a chocolate cake to give her when you return. Remember, don't overuse the chocolate. A little will go a long way. Use wisely!
Mar 22
Street Crossing Fun
Kitty girls like to wander around with their masters. They are not fond of being left alone at all, but rather like to be at master's side at all times. This said, sometimes one may wish to go wandering the streets with no real purpose. Kitty girls are rather mischievous so they like to make street roaming a game.
This week's street roaming game involves those lighted crosswalk signs which require that one presses a button. The aim is to get to a four way intersection, press the button for both directions and head in whichever direction lights up first. This process may be continued until either an interesting location is discovered or the kitty is tired and wishes to return home. Careful masters, if she's too sleepy she may need to be carried:
Mar 21
What Kitty Girls Dream About
You may be wondering what it is that kitty girls dream about when they are curled up in their favorite sunspot and purring softly. The answer is: food, master, and weird crazy junk.
As an example of the latter sort, I offer last night's dream:
Kitty girl dreams that she is a young lad who comes from a long line of foragers. For generations this family has used little bunny rabbits with tiny socks and shoes to lead them to fields of special wheat that grow hidden beyond the forest. However, the rabbit is too fast and the lad is soon lost at a juncture of three paths. He finds the tiny socks and shoes of his rabbit on the path to the far right and thinks surely his rabbit must be there. Before he can head down the path Benjamin Franklin appears. The irate founding father scolds the boy for losing his rabbit and says that the lad's entire family is composed of foragers who don't know their trade and never remember to bring extra shoes for their rabbits. The boy is saddened but continues down the path. Finally reaching the end he spies a field and thinks that surely his rabbit must be there. But he is mistaken, for this is the magical field where the pink unicorns roam. He is quite disturbed and fearing the wrath of some passing leprechaun, he makes a hasty retreat. On his way back up the path, the lad observes a jungle gym. He meets up with the young men from all the leading foraging families and they challenge him to a race. Whoever climbs through the entire jungle gym fastest is the winner and earns the title king forager. This is our hero's strength! At last he wins the competition and his rabbit is waiting for him at the finish. The rabbit stares at him and asks him for his little rabbit socks.
The kitty girl awakens. She is hungry.
Mar 20
Rights of Spring
Now that it is Spring, kitty girls demand a whole new list of rights. If you do not give them what they want, they will call you a meanie.
The following is their manifesto:
We the kitty girls demand full access to all sun spots.
We would like fresh fruit and cake at least 3 times a week.
We must be allowed to shop for new shoes and dresses.
We demand playing in the sun as well as picnics.
Most importantly:
When spring rains come, we ask that we not be required to venture outside without cute rain gear.
The following are some umbrellas which we would take into consideration:
Lightsaber umbrella
and
If our demands are not met-you can expect to find "presents" on your doorstep.
 9:05 PM Feb 9
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