Night

Welcome to Writers Realm!
This is a community dedicated to writing, what it takes to be a writer. Anyone can join! We'd love to see you around the site. Take part in our writing discussions, give feedback on stories posted and maybe share some of your own! But don't think you have to be a writer to join Writers Realm - there are plenty of other forums. Take part in a club or play a forum game with us. We're all friendly and we'd love to welcome you into our community!
Click here to register! Completely free of charge.

Pages:
1
2

Night; one-shot
Topic Started: Aug 4 2008, 08:19 PM (484 Views)
Icey	Aug 4 2008, 08:19 PM Post #1
Let's play a love game, play a love game... Posts: 888 Group: Administrators Member #38 Joined: Aug 4, 2008	This is a one-shot preview I wrote specifically for my novel Order of the Moonlight a while back. Has nothing to do with the storyline, it just involves a few characters. Hope you like it :] _______ Night was a dangerous time for humans to be out. As the moon rose over the city of Moonlight Hills, most of the population fled to their homes. Those who didn't were either unaware of the dangers of the night, or they were the cause for danger. Two figures walked through the streets. Both were female, both strikingly beautiful. One had blond hair that shimmered like the moon itself, the other with hair dark as night. They both walked with a certain swagger, one that attracted attention and warned of danger at the same time. One man didn't seem to pick up on the warning. He followed them, hiding behind whatever was at his disposal in case the girls looked back. Two beautiful teenage girls strolling the streets at this time of the night? He couldn't resist. The raven-haired girl glanced around with coal black eyes. She could sense someone following her. "What is it?" Her golden-haired companion asked. "Someone's following us." The statement was barely above a whisper. "Who?" The dark haired girl didn't answer. Instead, she led her friend into an alleyway. The man couldn't believe his luck. Could these two girls be so stupid as to wander into an alleyway? It was like prey lying down before a hunter. A grin crossed his thin lips. He made his way into the dark alley as well, his mind planning what he could do with two attractive females. He had barely made his way into the shadows when he was shoved into the wall of the alleyway. "What the--" "Who are you, human?" A voice hissed. "Lemme go!" He struggled in the grip of whoever held him. "Why are you following us?" He pulled away and hit the wall behind him. He found himself facing the raven-haired girl he had been following. He felt foolish. How could he be afraid of this girl? A smirk crossed his lips. "Why don't you take a guess?" There was enough of the full moon's light for the man to see her coal eyes narrow. "Wrong answer, human." He laughed, his voice loud in hopes of disguising the tremor of fear. "Human? What are you, if not human?" "One of them." "Them? What does that mean?" She pinned him to the wall, a smile pulling up the corner of her lips. She saw the cocky gleam in his eyes. "Do you want to find out...?" "Raven, this is taking too long," her companion complained. "Patience, Kari, patience." The girl known as Raven turned back to the man, leaning in closer to him. "Pity you had to follow us...it would have been better if you hadn't followed us..." Then man leaned into the girl, catching her in a kiss. Disgusted as she was, she let him, even as his hands tried to explore her body. A moment later, she pulled away, her lips brushing to his ear. "Wrong move, human." Before the man could ask what she meant, he felt a searing pain pierce his neck. Alarmed, he looked down. The raven-haired girl had bitten him hard enough to break the skin. His eyes widened. Was she a sicker pervert than he was? It caught him off guard. When he struggled against her, she held him back with a strength he didn't think was possible. When he began to yell, the blond girl clamped a hand over his mouth. The two glanced at him with a look of clear revulsion. "L-let me go," he gasped once Kari had removed her hand. "I don't think so," she hissed. "You were the one who followed us. We know what you would have done with us. This is your punishment, pervert." "V-vampires..." "You really are a stupid human," Raven said as she pulled away. The man's blood coated her lips. At the sight of this, the man began to scream. The two girls held him down as the hunt came to a close. Stupid humans. They were so gullible, especially in this city. Moonlight Hills wasn't a safe place to be once the sun set. Once the moon rose, creatures of the night ruled the streets, preying on those who were unfortunate to cross paths with them. But vampires needed food...right...?
	Proudly collared by Viral <3


YoungCrichton	Aug 4 2008, 08:42 PM Post #2
Random Words Posts: 7 Group: Writers Member #37 Joined: Aug 2, 2008	Cool. It reminds me of a story a wrote a while ago called The Unknown.
	"What happens if science can't explain something?" A friend asked me. "We wait until it can, silly." I answered.


Icey	Aug 4 2008, 09:07 PM Post #3
Let's play a love game, play a love game... Posts: 888 Group: Administrators Member #38 Joined: Aug 4, 2008	Ooh, was that about vampires? Lol :]
	Proudly collared by Viral <3


YoungCrichton	Aug 4 2008, 10:10 PM Post #4
Random Words Posts: 7 Group: Writers Member #37 Joined: Aug 2, 2008	No. They were a race that evolved into humans due to a disease. The ones that didn't change signed a treaty with the humans that they would leave the humans alone during the day and were free to kill anyone who roamed the streets at night.
	"What happens if science can't explain something?" A friend asked me. "We wait until it can, silly." I answered.


Icey	Aug 4 2008, 11:08 PM Post #5
Let's play a love game, play a love game... Posts: 888 Group: Administrators Member #38 Joined: Aug 4, 2008	Whoa, that sounds awesome :D
	Proudly collared by Viral <3


Allyson	Aug 5 2008, 08:07 PM Post #6
Observer of all Posts: 2,337 Group: Root Administrator Member #1 Joined: Jan 29, 2008	Alright: I thought this was pretty good, but I have a few things to point out. Quote: As the moon rose over the city of Moonlight Hills, most of the population fled to their homes. Maybe it's just me, but the first picture that came to my mind was like an old fashion kind of town near a forest. If I don't have any back up about this, just forget that I said it. :) Quote: Those who didn't were either unaware of the dangers of the night, or they were the cause for danger. I liked this part. And then I skip to the last part... Quote: But vampires needed food...right...? Right answer, but written the wrong way. This makes it look like you're emailing a friend or something. I'd said rephrase that to "Because even vampires need to eat." Other then that, it was pretty interesting, though I don't think anyone under thirteen should read it, if you know what I mean. :) Good job!
	Check out my deviantART page!


Icey	Aug 6 2008, 01:53 AM Post #7
Let's play a love game, play a love game... Posts: 888 Group: Administrators Member #38 Joined: Aug 4, 2008	Hehe, it is kind of old fashioned....well, if anything, they have those historical Victorian-style houses. Hah, and thanks, my writing style's a bit informal at times so I don't catch things that sound like emails. Although, maybe it's just me but "Because even vampires needs to eat." sounds like something's missing...or maybe a vampire fast food chain motto. Or maybe that's just exhaustion speaking. XD Oh, and I guess this isn't necessarily kid-friendly...guess I should have put a warning or something first. nervous laugh
	Proudly collared by Viral <3


Allyson	Aug 6 2008, 12:42 PM Post #8
Observer of all Posts: 2,337 Group: Root Administrator Member #1 Joined: Jan 29, 2008	Well, I'm thinking about doing what some people have on their writing forums: A restricted section. I'm still thinking about it, but I never thought about it until now. :P But it was still a good chapter.
	Check out my deviantART page!


Icey	Aug 6 2008, 01:08 PM Post #9
Let's play a love game, play a love game... Posts: 888 Group: Administrators Member #38 Joined: Aug 4, 2008	Thanks! And you could do what I do. I have all the mature stories in a password protected forum. I give out the password to anyone who requests it but maybe you could have an age or post count limit. Lol.
	Proudly collared by Viral <3


Allyson	Aug 7 2008, 12:47 PM Post #10
Observer of all Posts: 2,337 Group: Root Administrator Member #1 Joined: Jan 29, 2008	I'll be looking into that. :)
	Check out my deviantART page!


1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)


Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Sneak Peaks · Next Topic »

Pages:
1
2