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| HUNK: The 4th Survivor (REmake) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 2 2008, 02:07 AM (1,198 Views) | |
| Allyson | May 12 2008, 02:57 PM Post #11 |
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Ok. ^_^ Oh, and if you want to start new topics you're welcome to. |
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| hcfwesker | May 13 2008, 01:39 PM Post #12 |
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Oh, i know that. I'm just, currently, very busy with my forum, and the post exchange topic I have going with members from DA. You know, you're the only site I've joined from there on my own free will. I'll be posting a few more chapters today, i hope. |
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| hcfwesker | May 13 2008, 01:55 PM Post #13 |
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Chapter 4 Rockfort Island ... Lt. Rodrigo watches HUNK read through the final pages of the classified document. As HUNK reads, Rodrigo explains, "All the facitliy's schematics and networking security is presented there in full detail. Passing through unoticed shouldn't be a problem, especially with your team's experience." HUNK replies, "As long as every detail has been thoroughly ran through, and you feel confident on this situation going in... my men will handle it"... "That's all i want to hear," Rodrigo agrees. ... Umbrella Research Facitlity ... "Talk to me, Grimm." HUNK says through a com radio HUNK and Drake are walking silently down a metallic hallway entering and bypassing many security doors. Grimm and Jarvis are maintaining video surveillance and bypasing security through the facility's security office. A smacking sound comes through Grimm's radio, "What was that?" HUNK replies, "I'm in a small room that branches off from the hallway. There's a small computer in the wall. There was a moth on the screen, and killed it. Now, how do i get into the laboratory" Grimm comes through HUNK's radio, "put in your key card and type the numbers, 7-1-2-7-8, that will release the blast doors and grant you access to Birkin's lab" "OK, I'm done." Rockfort Island ... "You're gonna need to fill in Drake on the mission priority, after you separate from Jarvis and Grimm." Rodrigo explains. "Why wouldn't i tell Drake? In that moment he needs to know, right?" HUNK adds, "I wouldn't want any suprises." ... Lt. Rodrigo looks out the office window, "Yes, you and i both know about suprises from Drake." ... Umbrella Research Facility... "OK, Grimm, the blast doors are now open." HUNK tells Grimm, as he reminds himself that he needs to inform Drake about their true objective, but hesitates, and proceeds out to the hallway. Drake speaks to HUNK through his com radio, "We clear? Ready to move when you are." HUNK stays silent. Steps backwards into the hallway and turns around towards the laboratory's now opened blast doors. HUNK and Drake stop at a corner in the hallway, and see the laboratory entrance. HUNK nods to Drake, both soldiers heading in the direction of the laboratory. "This way." ... |
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| hcfwesker | May 13 2008, 01:57 PM Post #14 |
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Chapter 5 RockFort Island ... HUNK closes the files he has finished and sets them neatly back in the broken sealed folder. "I'll handle Drake. I believe it's time to prepare my team." Lt. Rodrigo takes the file back, "See that you do. And make sure you have everything you need. You leave at 0400 hours." HUNK salutes Lt. Rodrigo, as he is dismissed. Once HUNK is out of the office, Rodrigo picks up a phone receiver and orders, "I need to see Sgt. Drake, immediately." ... Umbrella Laboratory ... William Birkin waits impatiently, filling his foamed coated briefcase, securing the last tubules of his new creation, the G-virus. He grabs the last vile, holds it up, staring admirably, "It's sheer perfection. My precious G-virus, noone will ever take you away from me." At that moment, William hears the laboratory doors unlocking, he places the final tubule in his pocket and closes the brifcase containing the rest of the viles of the virus. Standing as he throws the chair he is seated in to the ground, and grabbing his gun. The lab door slides open upward, as HUNK and Drake rush into the room. Fastening their weapons on William as he already has his gun on them. "There he is," HUNK declares, as both men have the doctor in their sights. William, looking hesitantly at the two commandos, "So you've finally come." HUNK steps aside from his partner and says, "Doctor. We're here to collect the G-virus sample." The two commandoes and William Birkin are at a standoff. Birkin hesitates and slowly creeps backwards, placing his free hand on the brief case containing the virus sample; sliding the case across the table, dragging everything on the table that the case comes in contact with. "Sorry", William protests, still sliding the case back, as a cyllinder casing instrument is slowly being pushed off the edge of the table. William continues, "but i won't just hand over my life's work." KLANG, the casing instrument hits the ground. William looks in both directions as he knows the startled sound is going to have severe consequences. Drake, without hesitation, fires on William Birkin with a wild bursts of bullets. Five bullets make contact with William's left shoulder as he is forced on his back, slumping against his desk. HUNK intercepts Drake's fire, "Stop it! You might hit the sample." Drake replies as he lowers his weapon. Both commandos check the case William had his hands on, "That's it alright.", HUNK says and he grabs the case and orders, "OK, Let's move out." ... |
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| hcfwesker | May 13 2008, 02:00 PM Post #15 |
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***Author's Note*** In my first post, i linked a youtube video explaining the basis of this story. The last line of chapter 4, and the entire chapter 5; is the retelling of this cinema. the scene of the team in the sewers, comes up later, around chapter's 11-13. The rest of this story, is my original telling, of these character's involved in that videogame cutscene. thank you HCF |
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| Allyson | May 14 2008, 12:54 PM Post #16 |
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Chapter 4: I just have two things to point out, besides the other grammar mistakes, but I can post those later if you want. Right now I'm concentrating on your writing. :) The green is mine.
[color] Chapter 5: [/color]
Other than that, I think it's pretty good. Good job. Oh, and I like how like a video game...Did I tell you that already? :) |
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| hcfwesker | May 16 2008, 02:46 AM Post #17 |
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thanx, allyson. but lemme explain the "..." punctuations. This isn't really written in a novel format. It's some new style i've created LOL :D really, though, those "..." 's are my way of trailing off from the scene .... to lead it to the cjange of time frame, from flashback to the present. and the dot's at the end of chapters. that's my punctuation for "To Be Continued ..." I have my own style of writing. and yes, my grammar and punctuation needs editing. I promise you. I'm excellent with grammar and punctuation, i just type so fast and get into the story, i don't stop to proof read. I need to , i know. I really, really, really appreciate you taking the time to read this and comment. I know you're busy yourself as the Admin, but it means so much what you're doing here. oh, and your last statement, about videogames, you missed types something, i didn't understand what you were saying? And that moth scene is out of place if you don't know where it came from. In RE2; where this story is set in. The lab of Raccoon City, you have to fight a mutated moth in that computer room as a different character. I included that scene, because the outbreak hasn't happened yet, and to show there were moths in the facility before the outbreak. The next chapter, #6; is alot of people's favorites. because i write it with a fast paced style, where different things are happening at different times... with no flashbacks. The Virus is Moving ;) |
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| hcfwesker | May 16 2008, 02:51 AM Post #18 |
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Chapter 6 Umbrella Research Facility (Now) ... William we got to go, Annette Birkin thinks to herself, as she stands still staring at the unsealed blast doors to her husband's laboratory. She glances in all directions, and slides her key card, hurrily entering the room. The first thing she sees is all the wreckage in the lab. And her husband, laying lifeless against his desk. "William! Oh, my!," she says, lowering to check her husband's vitals. William makes a desperate motion to get up, but fails. "Hold on, darling," Annette says, bracing him not to move, and sees the bullet wound that has pierced the left side of his chest. "I'm taking care of that bullet wound first. Stay here." Annette rises and rushes out of the room to retrieve medical supplies and activate the emergency lockdown ... Umbrella Research Facility (1 hour ago) ... "Get your things, sweety. We're getting out of here." Annette bursts through her 12 year old daughter's room within the facility, hurrily ordering her daughter to comply. "C'mon, Sherry." Sherry, oblivious to the situation, hesitates and says, "It's ok, mom, I wasn't that worried about going to the---" "---Sherry, i really need you to listen to me. Get your shoes on and let's go. We don't have time for this.", Annette demands ... Umbrella Research Facility (Now) ... HUNK and Drake, along with the G-virus samples, are making their way to regroup with Grimm and Jarvis. Their rendevous point is back at the main entrance leading to the platform back down to the undreground railway tunnel, where they first entered. "Echo-1, this is Alpha leader, requesting evac in approximatley three hours at the drop off point.", HUNK yells into his com radio. HUNK speaks through his com radio again, "Bravo leader, what is your ETA on the rendevous?" ... Umbrella Research Facility (30 minutes ago) ... Annette has placed the platfrom key into the gigantic express platform, once activated, will carry them to the ground level of the facility. "Baby, you stay here, no matter what happens. If I'm not back in 30 minutes, you take this up to the ground level. You know the path to the police station. Get there and find Chief Irons, he'll take care of you", Annette says to her daughter. Annette turns away and adds, "I'm going back to find your father" ... Umbrella Research Facility (Now)... William manages to pull out the vial he kept in his pocket before the commandos attempted to assasinate him. He stares admiringly at his completed work; disappointed he'd never see it put to good use. He takes a deep breath ... Umbrella Research Facility (5 minutes ago) ... The four commandos have regrouped. They make their way back the way they came, until, an alarm sounds. LOCKDOWN. HUNK looks around to his teammates, "It's a lockdown, all entrances and exits are going to be sealed. We won't be going the way we came through. We have to find a way out of here. Now!" Jarvis notices a huge rigging platform and suggests, "That platform there goes up, should go to the ---" --- At that moment, as a result of the "lockdown" being activated, the platform starts up. Three long horn blasts sounds, and the platform reconfigures for ascension to the ground level, and begins to slowly rise along the platform's rails ... The Virus Is Moving ... William Birkin slowly exhales, and stabs himself in the stomach with the protruding end of the G-virus vile. He let's out a painful moan, and immediately feels the virus rushing through his veins. His head jerks forward, as his eyes fill with blood and his body starts to tremble and convulse in agonizing pain ... Edited by hcfwesker, May 16 2008, 02:57 AM.
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| Allyson | May 16 2008, 08:43 PM Post #19 |
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I like that part about the daughter. It's nice to have a kid in the story...and that about all I have to say about it. :) Oh, and I meant that since you're sort of writing the story or a video game, I thought that was cool. |
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| hcfwesker | May 30 2008, 02:33 PM Post #20 |
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Chapter 7 Umbrella Research Faciltiy ... The LOCKDOWN alarms still echoing through HUNK's ears. He knows this is going to jeopardize everything they have come here for. We were almost in the clear. We must have missed some personel roaming around, or .... Umbrella Research Facility's Secutiry Office ... Annettte Birkin has activated the Emergency Lockdown Sequence within the Secutiry Office's controls. Closing all entrances and exits throughout the facility. She knows her daughter will be safe, as a result of the lockdown, the rigging platform automatically rises to the ground levl to prevent any personel from exiting the facility. Annette remains in the security office, rummaging for medical supplies. She'll be locked down in the office until she can scroll through surveillance videos to make sure the threat is gone. ... The Virus Is Moving... William Birkin's body is changing. He convulses and spits up blood. The metamorphosis his body is transforming into causes him to black out and loose all consiousness. His vision goes blurry, and he feels the life seep through him as his eyes go black ... Umbrella Research Security Office ... Annette scroills through security cameras all through out the facility. She notices no threats still in the area. She deactivates the lockdown as she catche a glimpse of her husbands newly taken form. she watches the security video in horro as the mutated lifeless beats hunches up and craches through the laboratory walls, leaving the view of the camera, and out of Annette's sight. ... Umbrella Research Facilty ... The commandos are trapped and nowhere to go. The LOCKDOWN alarm has finally sceased and the rigging platform begins to lower back down to the basement floor within the facility. HUNK orders his team memebers, "Alright. We have succeded in retrieving the G-virus sample. There's no possible way we can go back the way we came. We're going to have to take this platform up to the ground level." Jarvis and Grimm are both filled with confused expressions. Grimm asks, "What about the doc and his family? What's this G-virus sample?" Drake interjects, "The sample was our mission priority. The Birkin's was a cover story. There was no take over and there was no threat." HUNK glances at Drake, who is revealing too much. But HUNK knows, in order to survive, everyone must know the complete situation. HUNK concludes, "Drake's right. 'We' were the threat on William Birkin and his family. So accept it! And let's move" The Virus Is Moving... William Birkin has finally smashed through the blast doors of the Laboratory, making his way down the narrow corridoors, his massive size hunching through the hallway, slowing down his steps. He doesn't know what he wants, or what he's walking to, but something is luring his senses, something his new, monstrous form needs ... Umbrella Research Facility ... "What the hell? We were used," Jarvis questions. "Just another set of expendable pawns for Umbrella to dispose of." The platform has finally made it to the commandos floor level. It makes a massive halting sound. HUNK orders the team on board and activates the platform for the ground level. HUNK tells his comrades, "The mission priority isn't important. Right now, surviving and getting out of here in one piece is. This will take us to a facility on the outskirts of town. From there, we'll make our way through the sewers and get out of here. All of us." ... Edited by hcfwesker, May 30 2008, 02:36 PM.
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