| Nakasa; The real story of the Nakasa's | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2008, 10:33 PM (572 Views) | |
| Master Rage Nakasa | Sep 18 2008, 10:33 PM Post #1 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Ch00 Nakasa The sun is beating down on a rocky desert plain. The wind is blowing through the stony region. Thena mysterious person wearing a brown cloak runs through the sand. Behind him is a group of green-skinned demon-like people. their orange hair sticks out from their skin. The mysterious person looks back and see then swinging their swords as they chase him. The person smiles, then turns around and stands where he had just stopped. The demons rush toward to where the guy is standing. The man raised his hand toward them and utters the word "Groundjur". Just then a slanted pillar of earth jets out of the ground, hitting a lot of the green skinned demons, then it falls and crushes the ones who got hit. The others who did not get hit get closer to the mysterious person as he throws off his cloak. The man waers a green tunic top with brown leather made jeans. His brown/red hair blew in the wind as he stared at the horde of demons with his green eyes. He then draws two swords and points them at the demons that was running at him. He dashed into the group, quickly slashing all the demons he passes. The demons notice that he had passed through them and turned to face him as the man did the same. As they turned, the ones who had been slashed start to fall or blood starts to spray from varios cuts from there bodies. Only one had not been touched from all this. The Demon stares at the man who just killed his comrades and notices his swords. "Wha...? Those Green Blades? It can't be..." exclamed the last demon. "prepare to die, Demon." said the mysterious man. "please spare my life!" pleaded the demon. "but...If I do that... then my job won't be completed... Oh well, go no...get. I'll say one escaped" said the mysterious man. The man then turned and started to walk away. "Oh! Thank you!" said the demon in a sinister voice. "Now die! Demon hunter!" The demon charged at the man's back. "Foolish one..." breathed the man as he slashed the charging demon in two. " I let you live and you use it to attack me..." the man said to the dying demon. "Tell...me you..r Name...so m..y soul will come for yo..u in the ...next life..." gasped the dying demon. "You have no next life, Demon, but I will tell you my name. It's Rage Nakasa." the man said to the almost dead demon. "RAge Nakasa.. the half-demon De...mon ...Slay..er" said the demon with his last breath. "thw very same" said Rage as he wiped the blood off his swords by pushing them into the sand. He then walked over to the body of the demon and cut off some hair. "there...this will prove that I did my job." Rage said as he looked for a place to rest. "Man... it's been a long day". He heads over to a big border and sit with his back against it. "I'm only getting 100,000 yen for this job to kill the Sena be Hana demon clan... oh well... it's not like I need the money" Yawns rage as he pulls out a clolf the clean off what caked blood was on his swords and himself. The swords gleamed their natural green coloring as the sunlight hits them. After he finished cleaning them, He puts them back in his sheaths. as he does, a pair of purple eyes look out from a reflection. The eyes look as if they have lost their will. Rage then lays back and closes his eyes. The sound of someone walking up is heard but rage does not up any mind to it. "...Rage." said a voice. Rage opened his eyes. "...What?" groans Rage. "we need to get going..." said the person who had just walked up to him. The person was wearing a brown cloak but you could see his face. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. Rage then closed his eyes again. "Come on, Rage!" said the blonde-haired man as ht tapped Rage on the head with his lance. "Let me rest. It's hot right now!" yelled Rage. The man took off his hood and said "Yea... It's hot...OK. Fine. You sleep... I'll make sure nothing tries to kill us. "said the Blonde-haired man. "Don't goof off!" says Rage as he drifts off to sleep. |
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| Master Rage Nakasa | Sep 18 2008, 10:33 PM Post #2 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Ch01 Rage was sleeping under the hot sun as the blonde haired man looked over at him. “Man… I wonder what he is dreaming about…” the man said. “…..the war…” Rage said in his sleep. “?” said the blonde haired man as the scene fades white. Chapter 01 The Beginning, the war The war… the war between demons and Angels. This war that last for thousands of years. This war over humanity’s control was the harshest and most brutal war ever fought. Many hated this war and wanted to find a place where there was no war. A land where this war had not and could not touch. Very few know of a place like this. Among these few are two fox demons. These two demons dart from tree branch to tree branch as the war had consumed their town. “What are we going to do, Dear Darumes?” asked the female demon. “We’ll get out of this Anamell!” said the male demon known as Darumes. They then jump down to the ground and start running. As they ran, Darumes spots a sword on the ground. He stops and picks up the sword. “Hmm…. This is one I made…” exclaims Darumes. “Look out!!!” sreams Annamell as an angel speeds through the air, aiming his sword at them, yelling “Be gone, fowl Demons!”. Darumes grips the sword and swings in at the Angel. The blade hits the angel and cuts him right down the middle as Darumes dodges the sword that the angel was holding. The angel then fades into light and then disappears. “Come on!” yells Darumes to Anamell. She hurries to him as they get to a broken building. “Where are we to go?” asked a worried Anamell. “We need to get to Noronal” explains Darumes. “It’s said this country will take in anyone who dose not want to be in this damn war, whether they be human, angel, or demon. They all live peacefully there.” “How far is it from here?” Anamell asked. “Don’t know. I was only told to go west and find SeneCal Valley.” said Darumes. “This is the most west building in town” said Anamell. After saying that the two demons disappeared into the night as the war forage behind them. A month and a half later after stopping in countless towns to asked about where SeneCal Valley was,they finally came up to the town of Semarail. “Maybe we will find some answers here.” said Darumes. They when up to the first person they could find asked “Do you know where SeneCal Valley is?” “Yes.” said a man with a gruffly voice. “See that tower over there? It’s a day’s trip though the harshes lands, but on the other side is a land that has peace.” Said the man. “Thanks” Darumes said as he and Anamell started to head off to there. “Stop!” said the gruffly voiced man. “You need to rest. Both of you look tired.” Anamell walked to Darumes and said “let’s rest. It will be there tomorrow.” “Maybe…, but we will rest anyway.” said Darumes. The man led them to his home and fed them. During dinner, Darumes asked the man what his name was. “My name is Drak and scents we are on introductions…” said Drak. “I’m Darumes and this is my fiancée, Anamell.” said Darumes. “Fiancée huh? Well it’s good to see young love.” Drak said as he tore of some meat from a turkey leg. They finished the night’s meal and when to bed. The next day they all headed toward SeneCal Valley. The land between the town of Semarail and the tower to SeneCal Valley was like hell on earth. “it’s not much farther…” said Drak as they pasted up the tower that was in the middle of this barren wasteland. |
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| Master Rage Nakasa | Sep 18 2008, 10:34 PM Post #3 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Ch 2 A Battle before peace. Six Demons had jumped out at the three Travlers. "Doomed, huh. I don't think it's doomed. Hahahahaha!" says one of the six demons. "What are you doing here?! This Tower was abandon along time ago!'Yelled Drak as he pulled out an Ax with a long chain attachtich to it. "it was never abandoned old man. We just didn't atack you causeyour travlers didn't have anything... but these two do." said the same demon who spoke before. "make shoure you leave the women alive! she looks..."said the demon as a spray of blood jets out of his Neck. "yopu better not finish that sentance..." said Darumes as he sheavs his sword. The demon put his hand over where Darumes had cut and looked behind him, Darumes was turn toward him with his hand on the hilt of his sword. "K-ill h-im..." said the demon before a spray of blood came out of his mouth and he fell to the ground. The other five attacked. Three of them ran towards Darumes as the other two attacked Drak. The ones who atacked Darumes had Dwran there swords andwas clashing in headed battle. There swords rang like some one was hitting a bell wit a metal bar. Meanwhile, the two who attacked Drak was getting the upper hand. He had one of them contenlly attacking from the frount as one tried to sneak up behind him. Drak had been moving his attacker but this was getting harder. Just as Drak had gotten behind his attacker, the Demon turned and tried a spin Slash. Drak through the chain part at the demon. IT wraped around the sword and then the claw at the end of te chain grabbed the sword, Stoping the Spin. "Wha?!" Yelled the demon as he was pulled toward Drak. Drak then raised his Ax and slamed it down, cutting the demon in two, However, this gave the other demon time to get behind Drak. He lunged at Dark's Back as Drak turned to block. To Drak's surpirse, the Demon lurched to the left of him as an arrow pearsed thought it's skull. Drak turned to see Anamell holding a child-sized Bow. She smiled as she turned toward Darumes's fight. By this time, only two where left. She aimed and fired on one of them. The arrow made the one she fired at slump down on his own sword. Darumes then turns to the last one and quicky cuts off the demon's sword arm. "Ahhhhhhh!" Yells the demon as hegrabs where was cut at, then Darumes sword was pointed at the Demon's Face. "You and your Tribe will fear my family's Name for now on!" Darumes said the the now one armed Demon. "What is that name?" winched the Demon. "My name is Darumes Nakasa! Remember it well!" Darumes said as he put his sword away. The Demon then got up and ran into the dester. "You two are figther, huh? Ahahahaha!" Laughs Drak "we can rest at the enterenc of the Valley." He said as they headed toward the Valley ahead. When they got there, there was a house. It was nearlly dark by then, so they stayed there for the night. |
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| Master Rage Nakasa | Sep 18 2008, 10:35 PM Post #4 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Chapter 03 In the Land of Peace …an Oracle begins. The next day, Darumes, Anamell, and Drak awoke from the safe house that was at the aege of the valley. “I cannot go any farther…” said Drak. “What? Why not, Drak?” Darumes asked as Drak gathered his stuff. “Well… let’s just say someone has to lead people here… besides the Demon King will lead you from here.” said Drak. “The Demon King!” exclaimed both Darumes and Anamell. “Hahaha! Yea!” said Drak, “He told me to look for male and female fox demons that would be traveling together and to lead you here.” “But isn’t he suppose to be leading the other demons in the war?” Darumes questioned Drak. “… well look. He is here!” Drak answered as a small, Scruffy-looking dog walked up to the house. Darumes and Anamell looked out the door and said “This is the Demon King?” The dog stared at the two as they look over at Drak. Drak just smiled back at them. Darumes and Anamell then look at each other in confuses as a dignified voice, that seem to come out of nowhere, said, “Now, Now, I may not look the part but I am who the man says I am.” The couple then turned to look at the dog. “King Dargon Goby the second, at your servise.” said the small dog. “Whoa…” they said as Drak when outside and walked up to King Goby. “Forgive me, King Goby, But I must get going before the sun is too high in the sky.” Drak said to King Goby. “Very well then; you may go.” Goby said to Drak. They all watched as Drak walked into the desert by himself. “Will he be ok?” Anamell asked Darumes. “He’ll be fine, I hope.” Darumes said to her. “Yes, He’ll be ok. That human is strong.” Goby said to the pair. “Aren’t you suppose to be leading the war against the angels, sir?” asked Anamell. Goby turned his head and replied, “I have my generals on that. They are the best I have. Anyway, my mission is to protect the oracle…” “Oracle?” they both said as they stepped outside of the safe house. Goby smiled in a way only a dog could and said “you don’t need to worty about that now. Come along now, we need to get going as well. Don’t want to waste sunlight, right.” Darumes and Anamell both nodded and walked behind the Demon King. They figured Goby would tell them about this oracle when they got to a town or something. They went into the valley and passed many wonders along the way. There was Trak waterfalls, a place that brought golden butterflies to fly and land on the plants on the small islands in the river below them. There was a small meadow along the path that had all the colors that life could create. Then they passed through a barren platue that looked as it could hold a small city. “What is this place, Goby?” asked Darumes. “A lost city, nothing stands here now. It ones was a grand city that…” Goby stopped in the middle of what he was saying. “Never mind this place. We must continue on.” When they got to the other side of the valley, they came upon a town. They enter to lively town. They looked on as if they were a kid in an amusement park for the first time. “…Goby, is this Noranal?” asked both Anamell and Darumes. “Yes! This is the first town in the land of Noranal. Welcome to the town of Takue.” Goby answered with pride. They spent some time here before heading into the new land. They passed three towns before settling into a field surrounded by rocky cliffs. Their place was just a walks distends from a town named Farja, where they had gotten married. About a year after they settled where they lived, Darumes remembered what Goby had said and asked him “What was that oracle that you where talking about awhile back?” Goby” who stayed to be their pet, looked at Darumes and said, “In the land of peace, an oracle will be born. One male, one female, shall lead the world into a new order.” Darumes looked at Goby and asked,”Are Anamell and I the oracle?” “No, it is to be…” Goby says as he was cut off as Anamell ran up to them. “Darumes, Dear! I’m pregnant!” She yelled up to them before she had gotten to them. Darumes ran to his wife, overjoyed that he forgotten what he and Goby was talking about. Goby smiled and said to himself, “well, You will find out soon enough.” Goby trotted up to the man and woman and they headed back to there home. |
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| Master Rage Nakasa | Sep 18 2008, 10:36 PM Post #5 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Chapter 04 The birth of Rage and Sorrow Nakasa Darumes and Anamell had two children in the time between March 31 and April 1 on the known New Years Eve and day. Rage was born before his sister on the 31st, as his sister, Sorrow Nakasa, was born on the first of the month. Right after Sorrow was born; a massive power filled the room as Rage opened his blood red eyes for the first time. The energy surrounded Rage and his sister. During that time, Rage’s eyes turned from blood red to a tranquil shade of green. The power was surging into the room so fast that all the glass they has, even the windows, broke into tiny fragments. Then the power subsided as Rage and Sorrow went to sleep, both sucking their thumbs. “What was that?” Darumes asked himself as Anamell was handed her children by a very freaked out mid-wife. “Look. Don’t they look just like us?” Anamall asked her husband as Rage’s Fox tail twitched in his sleep. “They are beautiful… look!” said Darumes as he points at his new born daughter. Sorrow has just then sprouted white angel wings on her back. “Our daughter is an angel!” Anamell said. “Ye-Yea!” said a confused Darumes. “Looks like you will need new glass windows…” said Goby as he entered the house. “Goby! The children are… “Said Darumes. “Born. Yes I know. I saw the energy rise into the house.” Goby said as he finished what Darumes said. Goby walked up to the bed and looked up. “What was that power, Goby?” asked Darumes. Goby just smiled as a dog could and said, “It was a sign. The oracle has begun.” “The oracle? You mean it isn’t us?” asked Darumes. “No. It was to be your children to lead this new world. The world of human rule.” Goby said. “Human rule? But the war…” Darumes said as he was interrupted as Goby put his paw up as to say stop. “The word from the front lines is that the humans have begun to fight back. They have been killing Angel and Demons alike. The Angels have retreated because of this so they have been killing many demons. It’s a good thing that you came here when you did.” Goby told them. “What about us?” asked Darumes. “I’m the only one with this Information and I’m only telling you. Please don’t tell anyone else. This news will only cause war in this peaceful land. Let your children have a happy childhood. This place will find out about the war soon enough.” Goby said to the people inside the home. “As you wish, King Goby.” They said as both babies cooed in their sleep. Eight years later a boy with red brown hair with fox ears and tail runs through a meadow with his white winged sister. They ran toward their home, shouting with joy for their parents. “Dad! Dad!” yelled the red brown haired boy as they got up to their father. “Look what we made!” they both said. “hehe.. Let me see.” said their father, Darumes. The young boy presented a small stone sword that he has carved out. His sister held out a toy-like bow that she curved from some wood she got from a tree and a line made from so spider webs she had found. “My my, Anamell! Come see what Rage and Sorrow made” Yelled Darumes. Anamell walked over from hanging laundry and looked at what they made. “Oh! Looks like our children have inherited our skill in making things.” She said. The brother and sister grinned at what their mother and father had said. “Let go make some more, sis!” said Rage. “OK” said his sister, Sorrow, as they handed there things to their parents and ran off to make some more. “Hehe… looks like we will have to teach them soon, right dear?” Darumes said to his wife. “Yes, they might need to know about how to really make making these later in life.” She said back to her husband. A little bit away, Goby watched the two kids play in the meadow, making sure that no harm came to them. “How great it is to be young.” He said as he watched. Edited by Rage Nakasa, Feb 12 2009, 11:37 AM.
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| Deleted User | Sep 27 2008, 12:01 PM Post #6 |
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I gotta say this story is very good!... Am I suppose to type here...? Anyways this story is very well written, and shows your true writing style... There's all kinds of advanced level themes that play off of the story so far, and I really think that it's going to turn out to be a very good book. I wanna know if you are going to continue the story, hopefully, because I can tell you put a lot of effort into it, which is something good writers always do! Keep up the good work, I hope to see more! |
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| Master Rage Nakasa | Feb 11 2009, 01:04 PM Post #7 |
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Vampiric Inu
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Ch.5 Payge Takashi “Look Payge, we are here.” Says an old man who is dressed as a magician. “Yea dad.. I see….” said Payge, a young Boy, as he looks out the carrages window. “what is wrong?” the old man asked. “ Nothing…” Payge said back… staring blankly at the woods and hills that pass by. “you miss your old friends… right? Look.. I’m sorry Payge… but we had to move here.” He said to Payge who was clearly not paying attention to him. The old man looked at his son and sighed as they got up to their new home. Meanwhile… Rage, who was in a tree, watched them pull up to the house. “Hmmm… New people…” he says as she jumps down and runs toward his house. “Mom! Someone bought that house across the hill!” He yells to Anamell who is in the kitchen, fixing lunch. “Ohh? We should go say Hi to them then.” She says as she finishes up a lunch box, “but first.. can you bring this to your father? He’s in his workshop.” Rage grabs the Lunchbox and says, “Sure.” He then goes to his father’s workshop. “Hi dad!” Rage yells over the clanging of Metal as Darumes makes a new blade. “Hmmm?! “ he goes as he looks over ar=t Rage. “Son. What can I do for you?” Darumes asked Rage. “Mom sent me to give you your lunch. Here!” he says as he hands it to him. “Also someone has moved into the house on the other side of the hill.” Rage says as Darumes puts the box on his workbench. “Oh! Then we will go meet them. I just finished this sword.” Darumes says as he picks it up and shows Rage. “Cool!!” Rage says, ” I can’t wait till I make swords a good as you” Darumes Smiles and picks Rage up and puts him on his shoulders. “yea, then we can work together.” He says, making Rage smile as they head out of the workshop. After getting everything ready.. (and Anamell Chewing Darumes out for forgetting his lunch in the workshop) they all head over to the house across the hill. “Oh! Look Payge. We have visitors.” The old man said to Payge, who was making a few things float in the air. “Hmmm? Oh.. ok then.” He says to him as Darumes, Rage, Anamell, and Sorrow reach the house. “Hello!” says Darumes as the old man and Payge comes out. “ Hello. My Name is Tages Takashi. And this is my son, Payge Takashi.” Tages says to them. “I’m Darumes Nakasa. This is my wife, Anamell Nakasa, and my two children, Sorrow and Rage Nakasa.” Darumes says. Rage Looks at Payge and snickers a bit. “Oh? You think my name is funny?” Payge says, “come on then…” Rage looks at him and says, “ you want to fight me? Heh.. alright. Follow me.” The two boys head toward the hill as Sorrow follows them so they don’t get themselves into trouble. “ok then.” says Payge as he readys himself. “No one has beaten me yet, Payge.” Rage says as he smiles. They both charge each other and throw a punch into each other’s faces. They then fall and get back up, but Rage is faster and does a kick to Payge’s Jaw. Payge takes the hit and slams his knee into Rage’s gut, then use his hands to slam down on Rage’s head, clauses him to fall over and roll down the hill a bit. Sorrow looks on in horror as the two boys continue to fight. “Please… stop…” she says quietly. The two boys then look at each other, both of them know they only have enough energy to throw one more blow. They both get up, wobbly like and dash at each other and throw a punch at each other like they did at the beginning of the fight. “!!!” they both go as the completely miss each other and then roll down the hill. As the come to a stop, Sorrow runs up to them to make sure they are ok. The boys then burst into laughter. “Man.. that was a good fight. Ey, Pain?” Rage says to Payge. “Yea. It was… Pain huh? I like that, Ray.” He says to Rage, who smiles at the nickname. “Ray, huh. That’s cool.” He says as the both lay flat on there backs as Sorrow shakes her head at them. Meanwhile at the house, Darumes and Tegas had watched hem fight. “It seems like they are going to be good friends.” Darumes says to Tegas, who laughs at that. “yes.. if they don’t kill each other first.” He smirks. |
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| Deleted User | Feb 12 2009, 07:23 AM Post #8 |
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Really nice. If you ever proofread this story take out all of the ...'s. some is fine but theres a ton of them in this chapter. I really like the chapter though. Oh, and plz seperate the dialouge like a novel would be read, it makes it way easier to follow. Sometimes -'s and ;'s create a pause that is less lengthy then the ...'s but still the effect you're probably after. That doesn't mean throw a whole bunch of -'s in though... Try to use these kinds of things lightly. Other than that, really nice job with the chapter. I learned a lot. I think you're doing an excellent job developing the story here. I can tell you put a lot of effort and work into each chapter as I said last time. I hope you continue this ^^' it's really well written. |
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6:39 PM Jul 10