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Operation Punisher: The CIAI Crisis...
Topic Started: Aug 25 2008, 07:00:35 PM (452 Views)
Bx
Notorious
[ * ]
This is the original OP, I just put in a secondary title for cosmetic reasons. lol

Opening Statement:

Deep in the heart of the Arctic Ocean lies a man, a very sad and lonely person. His name... Zidane, Zidane12. What does the 12 stand for you ask? It stands for both his age...and his IQ. Zidane12 is a lonely child, he was born in Florida but due to complications with his family involving the lack of ever seeing snow and Disney World, he swam away, far far away to the Arctic Ocean so he could see snow and maybe ride a penguin (In more ways then one). But unfortunately after Zidane had his pleasure on that penguin, he realized how empty and pathetic his life truly was, this is his story and his encounters with many different people across the globe.

Zidane has just washed up off the coast of New Jersey, he looks around not knowing what to do or where he's at. Zidane then quickly turns around only to see what appears to be the Statue of Liberty in the distance... He is stunned at how far he has traveled and runs off to find the nearest town, on the way he picks up a rusty old coin, which he tried to eat thinking it was chocolate only to find that it cracked his already dentally-challenged teeth. (The poor soul hasn't seen a dentist in 10 years, in fact he doesn't even know what a dentist is...) After putting the coin in his pocket for safe-keeping, Zidane traveled to a little town not far from the Jersey shoreline, he would run into a small boy named Brian.... Brian could only be described as a loser, he was frail and afraid of anything that wasn't inside the house, he spent countless hours on Google looking up useless things and on top of all that, he was Jewish but believed whole-heartedly in something called Pastrefranarism or something but that doesn't matter since that moron isn't here to correct me. Anyways, Zidane's encounter with Brian other wise known as Dawsy380 (380 standing for the number of times he had his head shoved down a toilet in school) came about due to Dawsy's curiosity with pissing monkeys and golden showers alike, dawsy had wanted so very badly to have a monkey shove it's golden elixir down his throat so he saw weak little Zidane12 as a perfect tool for his devious plan.

Little Brian creeped up behind Zidane just as he was walking towards the hot dog shop for a pig-in-a-blanket spooking the bastard to the point that he pissed uncontrollably, this was Brian's big chance!! Brian ran and baseball slid straight between Zidane's legs and sucked up the golden elixir as if his life depended on it! He chugged away as Zidane began to wag it away from the CLB but Brian being the dog-brained bastard that he was leaped and grabbed that meat stick only to rip it off cutting the supply of the elixir off and leaving Zidane12 handicapped in more ways then one. As Zidane screamed in horror, Brian ran on all fours back under his rock and hid away still chewing on the meat stick hoping that some more elixir would drip out.... With nobody coming to his aid Zidane passed out only to be carried off by an ambulance as it rained towards the Upper Level of the George Washington Bridge...

The first part is in the annoying paragraph style I used earlier but after this, it's dialogue all the way through...
Edited by Bx, Aug 25 2008, 07:03:57 PM.
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Bx
Notorious
[ * ]
(Little Zidane (The person not the severed stick) is checked into Mt. Sinai Hospital in Manhattan only to be visited by a cold stranger.)

Punisher: Wake up you ugly hermaphrodite!

Zidane: Huh?... Wha...

(Punisher punches Zidane in the jaw knocking one of his teeth out.)

Punisher: Did I say talk? Now stay quiet and listen you dumb son of a *****.

Zidane:.....

Punisher: Good. It's about time you got here, I've been waiting for your dumb ass to check in since I saw that Dawes kid stalking you a few hours ago. That creepy little bastard, they say he was raised inside some cave in Montana, damn cannibals, never could be trusted.

Zidane: Who are...

(Punisher grabs Zidane's throat and starts choking him, Zidane is blue in the face before Punisher releases him.)

Punisher: Now we can make this meeting easy or hard, the easy way involves me kicking the **** out of you until you're almost dead and the hard way involves me kicking the **** out of you and then hanging you by the balls (Or what's left of them...) and letting that Dawes kid have his way with the rest of you, now which do you prefer?

Zidane: I...

(Punisher pulls out a GLOCK and holds it to Zidane's head.)

Punisher: You what? You wanna get your ****ing brains blown out? Is that what you want you ****less *****?

Zidane:......

Punisher: I didn't think so. Now what I wanted to talk to you about was doing a few jobs for me, you know some odd jobs, since you don't have much in terms of smarts, I could use you for other purposes even though you're not much in stature either and you're one gangly-looking bastard, you know the type that looks like they'll trip over their own feet. So you don't have much going for you either way but at least you're expendable which makes you a very valuable asset to my team, now while we order you a new pump handle for blanks you just sit here and rest and I'll explain the detail of the jobs later.

(Punisher stood up and walked towards the door.)

Punisher: Oh and welcome to the Rotten Manzana. Enjoy your stay.

(Punisher left leaving Zidane alone in an environment alien to him....)
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Bx
Notorious
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(Zidane has finished having his operation to remember his missing... member and has just woken up from the anesthesea.)

Zidane: Uhh.... Uhh... *Sees Punisher* AHH!

Punisher: Whoa. Calm down, Gatorade, I said I'd visit you again, didn't I?

Zidane:.... Yeah but...

Punisher: Just let me talk. They said your operation went well, but after looking at pictures of before and after the operation I must ask you, do you have a girlfriend?

Zidane: Well, it's a long-distance relationship...

Punisher: So that's a yes?

Zidane: Yeah, I have one.

Punisher:... Not anymore.

Zidane: Huh?

(Punisher pointed towards Zidane's undersection.)

Zidane: AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the ****?!! What the hell is this?!!

Punisher: You know they did say that they had given you a replica of your uh.... pea shooter.

Zidane: Is that a ****ing joke?! Do you think this is a ****ing joke?!

Punisher: I'm telling you what the doctors told me.

Zidane: Bull****! This is a ****ing fun-size twizzler, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?

Punisher: Hey that was one pretty good...

Zidane: I can't believe this....

Punisher: Look at the bright side, at least we can start calling you Tony the Two-Inch.

Zidane: Argh!!!! You're full of ****ing jokes, aren't you?! I'm sick of your ****ing jokes! That's it, I'm gonna kick your ass!!!

Punisher: Yeah? Come on then Tony, I'm waiting.

(Zidane motions to get up but is stopped by an M4 being held to his head.)

Zidane:.... I'm sorry. Don't ****ing kill me... Please!

Punisher: Good boy. Now getting down to business, since you've been cleared to get out of the hospital tomorrow, I want you to meet me outside of this hospital tomorrow morning, that's when we'll go over the real details of your first mission.

Zidane: First mission? Can I at least ask where I'm going and what I'll be doing?

Punisher: No. But it involves a drug scandal in The Bronx.

Zidane: The Bronx? How the **** am I supposed to get to there?

Punisher: How else you moron, you're gonna walk.

Zidane: Now I may not know much about New York but I know enough to realize that walking from here to The Bronx would take a damn century!

Punisher: There's always public transportation, got any money?

Zidane: Look at me....

Punisher: Good point. Look we'll set you up tomorrow ok?

Zidane: Fine.

(Punisher begins to walk out.)

Zidane: Hey! Do I get to have a gun?

(Punisher pulls out the GLOCK and blows a hole right through Zidane's bed, just missing his new... member.)

Punisher: No. Guns are bad for you.

(Punisher leaves the room.)
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(Zidane checks out of the hospital the next morning and meets Punisher in a cafe across the street.)

Punisher: Good you made it. Didn't think you'd show.

Zidane: Did I have a choice?

Punisher: You always have choices.

Zidane: Just tell me what you want me to do...

Punisher: You seem a bit down, then again you kinda do have a small reason to be upset...

Zidane: Enough with the ****ing innuendo!

Punisher: Calm the **** down! This is a public place and I'm a very private man!! Now, here comes an associate of mine.

(A person dressed like a pirate walks through the door and approaches Zidane and Punisher.)

Zidane: A pirate?....

Punisher: Not A Pirate, THE Pirate. This is Vashkey, the great pirate from Kentucky!

Zidane: A pirate from Kentucky?

Vashkey: Nice to meet you Tony. It's...

Zidane: Tony!! What the hell?! My name is...

Vashkey: Zidane, I know. But Punisher told me that everyone calls you Tony.

Zidane: Punisher's a ****ing liar!

Punisher: Whoa, whoa. Now I may be a lot of things but a liar I am not. Plus Tony sounds a lot tougher then "Zidane."

Vashkey: He has a point.

Zidane: Well what the **** do you know Mr. Pirate from Kentucky?

Vashkey:.......boobies.

Zidane: Another idiot....

Punisher: Now that we've all been acquainted with one another, it's time for you to learn what it is that you have to do.

Zidane: Finally...

Punisher: Ok, first you're gonna take a cab from here to the Soundview section of The Bronx then you're gonna get on the Bx 36 and get off on Washington Ave. there you're gonna walk down the street and wait for the Bx 41 on Webster Ave., you take the 41 to Sedgwick Ave. and get off, look across the street and you'll see two buildings, the River Park Towers, head in and take the elevator (Avoid the stairs at all costs) and bust into Apartment 21C, you're target should be in there.

Zidane: Who's my target?

Punisher: I was getting to that.... You're target is Troy J. Otherwise known by his code name, "Grizzly," he's a coke kingpin from Rhode Island and covers as a pizza delivery boy for Pizza Hut but his real operation involves taking unsuspecting neighborhoods and putting getting them hooked to coke.

Zidane: So this is about coke, huh?

Punisher: Yes. You must take Grizzly out at all costs! He is probably not heavily guarded but he is extremely dangerous, his name Grizzly is a play on the word "grisly," the manner in which his brutal crimes are committed, perform at your best or you won't be coming back...

Zidane: What about after I kill Grizzly?

Punisher: Head to the roof and there should be a parachute, if not we'll have a rope ready for you to repel down the building.

Zidane: Repel!? Are you crazy?!

Vashkey: It's really quite safe. You should end up by the Pathmark in that little section of the area, head inside and we'll be by the frozen foods section.

Punisher: Do you got all that?

Zidane: Yeah. But I have no weapons or anything?

Punisher: Uhh.... Vash...

Vashkey: Here's some hairspray and a can of tuna fish.

Zidane: You've gotta be ****ing kidding me...

Punisher: Good luck. Oh and here's a metro card for the buses that you're gonna take and 30 bucks for the cab. Have fun.

(Vashkey and Punisher exited the cafe quickly as Zidane walked out and stopped a cab on his way to his first mission.)
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Bx
Notorious
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(Zidane exits the cab and has reached his first checkpoint, Soundview.)

Zidane: Ok... Now, I'm supposed to wait for the bus, was it the 41 or the 36?... Hmm...

(Zidane looks up and sees the sign for the 36 bus.)

Zidane: Guess that answers my question.

(After a short wait, the bus arrives and Zidane rides it to Webster Ave. where he gets off in front of a KFC (Kennedy Fried Chicken) and searches for the next stop.)

Zidane: This area's kinda dirty....

(Zidane catches the 41 bus and rides it all the way to it's last stop, the River Park Towers.)

Zidane: *Sigh* This is it.... But wait a minute, they never told me which one? How the **** am I supposed to know which one?! That ****ing Punisher and that stupid pirate, mother****er! Damn!! You know what? **** this!

(Zidane begins to walk off but is stopped by...)

Punisher: Whoa. Slow down there Sunshine, this isn't an optional assignment.

Zidane: What the... How the ****...

Punisher: We did tell you which one although indirectly. Vashkey said that once you repelled off the building, you'd end up by the Pathmark, the only tower that would fit in that description is the one you're standing in front of.

Zidane: You couldn't just come out right and tell me?...

Punisher: Well yeah but we forgot.

Zidane: This is some big ****ing mission and you forget the most important detail!!! And why the **** can't I have a real weapon, a REAL weapon!!

Punisher: You got tuna....

Zidane: Tuna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the **** am I supposed to do with tuna?!

Punisher: I don't know, ask Vash, he gave it to you.

Zidane: Well where the **** is he?

Punisher: You know you really should lighten up, people can hear you.

Zidane: Lighten up?! Lighten up?! You mother****ing...

Punisher: Oh and Vashkey's over at White Castle getting lunch, we got pretty hungry, want anything?

Zidane: ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to Hell and burn you stupid son of a *****!

Punisher: So was that a no?

Zidane: **** you!

(Zidane storms off into the building and heads into the elevator.)
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Bx
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(Zidane enters the elevator, it's a rundown one, piss all over the floor as well as other items of trash, not a pleasant site... or smell.)

Zidane: These damn maintenance workers need to get on the ball, this is a joke...

BING!

(The elevator stops on the 13th floor, an extra-large woman weighing about 550 lbs. steps in with her two sons both teenagers but weighing in the neighborhood of 200 lbs...)

Zidane: Uh... Lady, you know, there might not be...

Pig-In-A-Blanket: Hmm? Nonsense child, besides it's only me and my two sons.

Zidane: *Mumbling* That's the ****ing problem...

Pig-In-A-Blanket: What was that?

Zidane: Huh? I didn't say anything...

Pig-In-A-Blanket: Well, I apologize sugar but you know what there just might not be enough room in this elevator. BOYS!

Piglets-In-A-Blanket: Yes mom!

Pig-In-A-Blanket: You two take the stairs since there won't be enough room in this here elevator for all of us, I'll meet you on the way down.

(The two boys left and the elevator door shut.)

Zidane: Uh... I'm pretty positive that this elevator is on the way up. And I think that my stop is coming up next.

(Zidane shifted to move towards the door but was suddenly grabbed by Pig.)

Pig-In-A-Blanket: You know it's been a looooong time since I had a big strong man around.... Don't you think it'd be mighty nice if you were to...

Zidane: Get the **** off of me! I don't want to do anything with you!

Pig-In-A-Blanket: That ain't never stopped me before!

Zidane: Oh ****...

(Pig-In-A-Blanket stomped the ground causing the elevator to get stuck between floors 19 and 20.)

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Bx
Notorious
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Pig-In-A-Blanket: Now what were you saying before about not wanting to do anything with me? You're a teenager, you have needs and a big strong woman like me can give you just what you need to release all of that extra stress. Besides, it'll be a while before the fire department gets here and I think we need something to make the time pass more quickly!!

(Pig-In-A-Blanket smushed Zidane into the wall of the elevator and unzipped his pants...)

Zidane: No *****! Not that!! Please!

Pig-In-A-Blanket: Please? Now that's what I like in young meat like you, politeness.

Zidane: You sick ****ing fat ass *****! Get the **** off of me now!!!!!!!!!

(Zidane struggled with Pig-In-A-Blanket but her size gave her the overall advantage and she pinned a now weak Zidane to the wall and forced Zidane to eat her from the inside out...)

Zidane: Oh this is sick... Why me? Why me?! What have I done to have this fat ***** all over my sack, is this what you wanted Punisher?!! Is it?! Is this your mission?! To humiliate me as much as possible!!!!

(The top of the elevator opens up.)

Punisher: Actually, Pig-In-A-Blanket was sort of a bonus but hey, I'm enjoying the show.

(Punisher ate a cheeseburger and closed the top of the elevator.)

Zidane: Was that?! Oh ****! (Oooooh baby that WAS it....) Wait a minute, what the **** am I thinking?!

(Zidane lets out his blanks in Pig's blow hole as Pig releases him.)

Zidane: *Huffing...*

Pig-In-A-Blanket: How was that baby?

Zidane: Get the **** away from me.... Get the **** AWAY FROM ME!!! PUNISHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Punisher opens the hatch and again and grabs Zidane.)

Punisher: Hey Pig, FDNY is on the way. So hang tight, ok?

Pig-In-A-Blanket: I'll be alright now as long as I get to see Tony the Two-Inch again.... You know I'm used to big men the men that I've had have never had the amount of firepower and the total package that.... Tony has....

(Punisher vomits all of the onion rings and cheeseburgers that he's eaten all over Pig-In-A-Blanket.)

Punisher: **** that, that was some nasty ****, I'll tell the fire department to turn back..... They don't need to let your sick ass out.... Now head up using the rope that Vash tied up this shaft.

Zidane: Punisher, how the hell do you do that?! And why didn't you help me?! That fat ***** abused me, she used me.... I feel like a cheap barnyard whore....

Punisher: At least you finally popped the cherry, now go!

Zidane: But I want my questions answered!

Punisher: MOVE!

(Zidane goes up the shaft and enters the hallway of the 21st floor and sees Apartment C... )

Zidane: This is it.

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Bx
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(Zidane approaches Apartment 21C, the hideout of the coke kingpin of the neighborhood, Grizzly...)

Zidane: Ok, I can finally get to work.

(Before Zidane opens the door, he grabs the can of tuna that Vash has given him and keeps the hairspray in his back pocket. As he opens the door amazingly enough unlocked door, he hears a sound....)

Grizzly: *Sniff* *Sniff*

Zidane: (Is that him?)

Grizzly: *Sniff* *Sniff* Ohh..... SS gave me some potent **** this week.

(Zidane creeps through the long hallway and peaks out of the corner to see Grizzly sniffing the coke in front of his computer.)

Zidane: Good. He's alone, high and glued to his computer screen. Now what to do with these "weapons?..."

(Zidane thinks for a moment and decides that the best way to get Grizzly is by not being detected and hitting him where it hurts, his coke stash.)

Zidane: Ok, this dumb son of a ***** probably won't notice me if I walk real slowly to that little...

Grizzly: What the hell?!

Zidane: Did he spot me?!

(Zidane ducks for cover watching Grizzly as he runs to check on his stash and decides that this is his big chance!)

Zidane: Freeze mother****er!

Grizzly: Who the hell are you? And... Is that a can of tuna fish?...

Zidane: Uh... Yeah, it is actually.

Grizzly: You're not a cop are you?

Zidane: No....

Grizzly: Then you're after my ****! Oh you're gonna die now mother****er!! Nobody touches this, nobody!

(Grizzly takes one last whiff of his coke and pulls out a butcher knife.)

Zidane: Damn!!! I thought they said he wasn't armed?!

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Grizzly: How's it gonna happen?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!

Zidane: How's what gonna happen?

Grizzly: How's the rape gonna occur?! How am I gonna eat your unborn child?!

Zidane: What?....

Grizzly: You know I once ripped out a woman's unborn fetus and roasted it like a turkey, I rather enjoyed little Johnny or was it little Sally? I can't remember.... It's been so long like the night me and my friend **** here ran a train on this girl that I held captive and starved for a month.

Zidane: You sick... monster....

Grizzly: Yeah, that's what that chick said. Of course I found that girls who are skin and bones appreciate a nice juicy boner more than the more plump kind. Although I must say that Pig-In-A-Blanket from the 13th floor seemed to enjoy my overall size.

Zidane: Pig?! Eww.... Please, someone get me the **** out of here... Please!!

Grizzly: You know Pig? Then again who doesn't? Yes... That Pig is one wild boar, she also seemed to get some pleasure out of me penetrated her daughters...

(Zidane realizing that he was in a dangerous situation did the first thing he could think of in this time of panic, he charged into Grizzly knocking the knife out of his hand and began bashing his head in with the tuna can while using the spray like mace on his Grizzly's eyes...)

Grizzly: AHHH!!!!!!!!! My eyes! My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zidane: How do you like that mother****er?

Grizzly: AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, stop! Please! I have a kid on the way!

Zidane: Well you can thank me for saving that kid's life from a sick **** like you!

(Zidane continued to bash Grizzly's brains in and damage his eyes until the doorbell rang.)

Zidane: Who the hell...?

Grizzly: AHH!!!!!!!!!! God, why?..

Zidane: Oh shut the **** up!

(Zidane continued to bash the **** out of Grizzly while the doorbell continued to ring.)

Zidane: Who the **** is that?!

Grizzly: Better go answer it... It could be an attendent of mine... Or some fresh meat.

Zidane: I liked it better when you were screaming.

(Zidane sprays Grizzly's eyes again and continues to bash when he hears his skull crack and blood begins to rush from his head.)

Grizzly: Ugh...... I....

Zidane: He's dead. I finally got the bastard... His sick **** is...

RING! RING! RING!

Zidane: That ****ing bell!

(Zidane goes to answer the door and when he opens it up...)

SS: Man, who the **** are you?

Zidane: Likewise.

SS: Do you know who the **** I am?!

Zidane: Coke-smoking lackie who's probably ****ed Pig-In-A-Blanket living in this building?.... Did I get close? AHH!

(SS lifted Zidane by the throat and held him high.)

SS: Not so tough now, huh? Heh, heh.

(Zidane is blue in the face and gasping for breath when SS tosses him to the floor and walks toward the area where Grizzly's body was lying. Zidane can make out only a few words that SS is saying...)

SS: They finally.... have.... the information.... Another mole.... I didn't kill him.... In New Hampshire?... We go.

(Zidane hears footsteps and a window open but due to the strangulation passes out. Smoke begins to pollute the air... A fire has broken out.)
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Bx
Notorious
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(Zidane opened his eyes to the now decaying building, Punisher had made the mistake of calling FDNY back and telling them not to come.... They wouldn't respond to anymore more phone calls made from the building.)

Zidane: Holy ****! What do I do? What do I do? Ok calm down Zidane, it's just a fire I can make...

(A huge flame bursts up)

Zidane: AHH! Alright, stop being a *****, the roof, Punisher said go up to the roof.)

(Zidane heads for the door and feels the heat burning on the knob.)

Zidane: ****!! That way is no good.... Think, think...

(Zidane runs throughout the room and sees a bed sheet of Grizzly's...)

Zidane: Ok, this might allow me to repel for a little bit, maybe a floor if that and then I can get down.

(Zidane wraps the sheet around himself and feels a sticky substance all over his waist.)

Zidane: Eww....

(Zidane rushes to tie the rest of the sheet around a pole to hold it up. Now he runs towards the window and looks down...)

Zidane: OH ****!!!!!!!!!!! This **** is high! I hate heights....

(Zidane begins to question his motives when a huge flame bursts onto the sheet and now the end holding the sheet up lights on fire.)

Zidane: No time... Here goes!

(Zidane heads off and holds steadily on the sheet, it's support is weak and weakening, Zidane sees another glass window on the 20th floor and begins to kick through it but it won't shatter and now the flame has spread rapidly throughout the sheet and it's moving in on Zidane.)

Zidane: Think! Think! I know...

(Zidane grabs the tuna can from his pocket and tosses it into the glass window shattering a piece and now giving Zidane enough instability to break it by kicking it.)

Zidane: This is it!

(Zidane kicks through the window and falls in the next floor....)
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Bx
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(Zidane gets up and sees that the fire hadn't spread to 20th floor yet.)

Zidane: Good... Ok, what to do now? Going up would be pointless so I guess I can try one of the elevators... *Shudders...*

(Zidane exits the apartment, (thankfully nobody was home) and heads towards the elevator, pushes it to come up and sees that it's functional.)

Zidane: Great. Now I can get out of this 30 story Hell...

(The elevator reaches Zidane's floor and opens up, Zidane steps through and pushes for the lobby, the elevator functions properly and heads down.)

Zidane: *Whistles...*

(To Zidane's luck, the elevator reaches the lobby floor and opens up....)

Zidane: You know I guess I am a pretty lucky.... OH ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Piles upon piles of bodies all over the floor, men, women, children, animals... All look as if they've been brutally murdered in the same manner with a long sharp butcher knife.)

Zidane: I gotta get out of here!

(Zidane runs on top of the bodies and rushes for the exit, he steps out of the building and heads for the Pathmark that Punisher mentioned and goes for the frozen foods section.)

Zidane: Where the **** are they?! They said they'd be here!

Punisher: What's the matter Gatorade?

(Zidane turns around and sees Punisher with Vash standing behind him.)

Zidane: YOU! What the **** happened?! What happened in that building!? ANSWER ME!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Punisher: We got you a roast beef sandwich now shut the **** up.

Zidane: Roast beef? Roast beef?! ROAST ****ing BEEF?!!!!!!!!!!! You think that after getting my **** ripped off by the Jersey Devil, getting a two-inch replacement, being raped by some fat ***** in a pissy elevator and then having to here some molesting **** tell his stories about how he gets off on a daily basis, that I want some ****ing roast beef?! Roast ****ing beef, the answer to all my problems, roast beef, the upholder of justice! Roast beef, a panacea for all our problems, what do you tell dying cancer patients, get a roast beef sandwich and even if you are gonna die in a day or two you'll at least have had the most delicious ****ing thing on the planet, ROAST BEEF!...

Punisher: Alright, that's enough. I've got a bad ****ing headache and I'm getting just a little tired of your "My life's a wreck, I was sodomized" bull****! I've got some coke-sniffing Irish ****ing Jew delivering pizzas somewhere in Rhode Island on the loose because my new operative can't seem to handle killing some ****ing coke-head!!!!!!!! And now I've got a pile of bodies in a ****ing building and half the city's jurisdictional bull**** up my ass and you're complaining because you get a little tang in an elevator.

Zidane: She was a fat *****!

Punisher: Fat *****es need love too you superficial son of a *****!

Vashkey: He has a point, Zidane.

Zidane: What the **** do you know? Keep your mouth shut and shove that fencing stick straight up your ass if you need something to keep you occupied!

(Punisher and Vashkey stared straight at Zidane who was still going off when...)

Punisher: Vash.

(Vashkey backhand ***** slaps Zidane right across the jaw.)

Zidane: OWWW!

Vashkey: Don't you ever talk to us like that again. Do you know what you are? Really, do you know what you are?

Zidane: What am I?
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Bx
Notorious
[ * ]
(Vashkey goes to Aisle 13, grabs the newspaper, pulls down his pants and takes a **** right on Zidane's shoes.)

Zidane: What the **** was that for?! You just took a **** on me! And it's green, what the hell did you eat?

(Vashkey pulls out a White Castle cheeseburger and stuffs it down his throat.)

Punisher: White Castle will definitely turn your **** green.

Vashkey: Definitely...

Punisher: Indeed....

Vashkey: Undeniably so.

Punisher: Without question.

Vashkey: There are no exceptions...

Zidane: Will you guys just tell me what the **** is going on?

Vashkey: Why don't you tell us?

(A big-breasted chick walks by...)

Vashkey: Boobies........

Punisher: Damn straight! What are those Triple M's?

(Vashkey walks off and follows the Triple M chick.)

Zidane: What the **** was that?

Punisher: That's Vashkey, you get used to it after a while.

Zidane: Whatever...

Punisher: Now tell us just what is going on. What happened up there?

(Zidane explains everything to Punisher.)

Punisher: So that's how it went down?

Zidane: But you already knew that didn't you?

Punisher: Of course I did. Do you really think that we'd not be keeping tabs on you especially in that environment will all of those drugs.

Zidane: Yeah, I figured as much.

Punisher: Then maybe you are getting smarter...

Zidane: Now tell me.... Who are you Punisher? Who are you and Vash and what exactly is all of this?!

Punisher: I can explain it better once we get to the base...

Zidane: Well let's go!

Punisher: We gotta wait for Vash, he'll be about 3 more minutes and...

Zidane: And what?...

Punisher: I gotta pick up some groceries....

(Punisher and Zidane go food shopping while waiting for Vash to finish his own pleasures...)
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[ * ]
(After Vashkey had finished his... "encounter" with the chick, he, Zidane and Punisher traveled by car to Hackensack, New Jersey, the town in which Punisher's base was located.)

Zidane: New Jersey? Small town New Jersey? Punisher, I thought you were a big city New York guy?

Punisher: Exactly. Do you think anybody would ever bother checking Hackensack, New Jersey for me?

Zidane: No...

Punisher: Now you're learning.

(The three of them got out of the car and entered the base, it was a large rundown old train cart. Inside however it was a different story, it was neat and filled with tons of things ranging from video games, computers, training equipment, and more importantly... guns.)

Zidane: Holy ****!! Look at this place?! Incredible! How...

Punisher: So you like what you see, huh?

Zidane: Jesus! You have everything here, all the new games and systems, high-tech computers and plenty of weapons plus that kick-ass plasma TV! You live here?!

Punisher: Actually no. I live in some cheesy apartment building in the Bronx right next to Yankee Stadium, there's nothing to do here.

Zidane: Nothing to do? Are you insane?!

Vashkey: Punisher's more of an outgoing person. This stuff here is for when he wants to lay low or relax or hang out with the guys, we have a Super Bowl party coming up so we're gonna get a pool table and put it right over there tomorrow.

Zidane: So you live here Vash?

Vashkey: No, I live in Kentucky.

Zidane: So this stuff just sits here and collects dust most of the time?

Punisher: You could say that.

(Zidane takes a seat on the sofa and Punisher brings him a can of soda.)

Zidane: Thank you. But hold the **** on, look at this... all of these guns, knives, and you couldn't give me one gun?

Punisher: No. We couldn't.

Zidane: Well why not?!

(Punisher hands Zidane an SMG.)

Punisher: Shoot that target right there.

Zidane: It's right in front of me. No problem.

(Zidane pulls the trigger but nothing happens, he keeps pulling the trigger but still nothing happens.)

Zidane: Uh... There's no bullets.

Punisher: Yeah there is.

Zidane: Then what the **** is this?

(Punisher snatches the gun away from Zidane.)

Punisher: You got to take the safety off.

(Punisher quickly takes off the safety and shoots Zidane in the foot.)

Zidane: AAHHH!!!!!!!!

Punisher: See that works.

Zidane: AHHHH!!! Why the **** AHH!!! My foot!!!! God, why?!!!!!
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[ * ]
Punisher: To get a gun you must be able to use a gun, had we given you a gun would you have thought to have taken the safety off? No. You would've been a dumbass and went around pulling the trigger on anyone only to end up looking like some fool.

(Zidane continues to scream in agony when Vashkey brings out some disinfectant and a bandage.)

Vashkey: Put this on your foot. And sit down.

(Zidane sits down and puts the disinfectant on his foot.)

Zidane: Ahh.... That burns!!

Punisher: Do you wanna know why I shot you in the foot Zidane?

Zidane: That would help... AHH!

Punisher: For two reasons, the first being that you're an annoying ***** who happens to scream too much, in other words just think of it as Punisher's Extreme Makeover, you're going to go from being a ***** with a **** no matter how small it may be to being a man like yours truly. The other was because of what we're about to tell you.

Zidane: What...?

Vashkey: Now that your foot has basically been taken out you can't run away when we tell what this is all about. You see, we tend to think things out before you, we're always one step ahead of you and predict your every move.

Punisher: So now that we've got your attention, lets get down to business. You mentioned that somewhere down the line in that whole Grizzly fiasco you encountered someone who choked you and tossed you to the ground like some rag doll, do you know who that was?

Zidane: No.

Punisher: That was SS....

Zidane: Who's SS?

Punisher: I'm getting to that. SS is an acronym for Super Slash.

Zidane: SUPER SLASH?!

Punisher: Yes. Super Slash, founder and current leader of organization CIAI.

Zidane: CIAI?!

Punisher: Yes, now will you please stop interrupting me?

Zidane: Sorry...

Punisher: CIAI, Cocaine Industry of America Incorporated. They're the world's leader in cocaine distribution and they have such a tight wrap on things that they've got the common man focused on Colombia as the world's leader but that's bull****. CIAI is a Lousiana-based organization, it's all one big scam and a government cover-up.

Zidane: Really?... Oh sorry.

Punisher: Vashkey will continue the rest...
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[ * ]
Vashkey: The drug industry is America's highest-grossing business, why do you think they've gotten so prevalent over the last few years? It all started with Prohibition. You see back when Prohibition was instituted the government lost millions to Al Capone and other bootleggers who held the alcohol market in control. The government couldn't have that so the law was repealed by the 21st Amendment and it was business as usual. Because Americans are suckers, they basically flocked to the liquor stores and gave all of those Congressional bastards a ton of money in their pocket. Punisher will continue now.

Punisher: What does all of this mean you say? The government is doing the exact same thing they did with liqour with drugs now and since the demand is even higher they get even richer. It's right in front of us, all of the propaganda in the media, getting high is the way to go and people will do anything to get their hands on this ****. They specifically target the teens because teens will do anything to stay in with the trends (****ing morons) and it's getting worse as more and more propaganda is being placed in our media, think about it!

Zidane: So what does this have to do with CIAI?

Punisher: Super Slash is probably the biggest kingpin in the world and quite possibly the richest man on the planet, he can disguise himself easily and come off as this sweet innocent person when in reality he's a monster a real monster... Pretty soon Super Slash will reveal himself completely to the world and go after the most powerful seat in the world...

Zidane: The U.S. Presidency...

Punisher: Exactly. He's the supplier of what the world wants, an entire monopoly over it and if he cuts off the supply and he will, the world will starve for it's need and demand will rise and he'll be a hero for giving everyone what they want, this could cause a World War III only what happened in Germany and Italy will have happened here. Do you know what that would do to the world? The greatest power under one man's hand and nobody can stop him, who would stand up and fight? Australia? France? We can't rely on these powers....

Zidane: So...

Vashkey: So now that introduces us.... We're a philantropist group trying to take Super Slash and his cronies out, we want to somehow cut off his drug supply and take him out. The problem is that he's one sneaky bastard and we don't have tabs on him....

Punisher: We've got a few support units in other areas across the globe including the United States, Canada and even England. So we've got one year. One year before Super Slash reveals himself and steals the Presidency and all hell breaks loose, are you up to it?

Zidane: That was quite a bit of information.... And I personally think that this is crazy... But in some strange way makes sense.... I need to sleep on it.

Vashkey: An answer by tomorrow morning is what we need.

(After learning all of this new information, Zidane heads to bed, his decision is to be made by morning....)
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Notorious
[ * ]
(Zidane wakes up around 10:00 a.m. and limps towards the main room seeing Punisher and Vashkey bringing in a pool table.)

Punisher: So, you finally got up.

Vashkey: What's your answer? Are you in?

Zidane: *Sigh* I just woke up....

Punisher: You said you needed to sleep on it. You slept and now we want answers from you. We made a deal.

Vashkey: Yup. We didn't have to give you the night to think it over.

Zidane: I don't really have a choice, do I?

Punisher: There's always two choices Zidane.... Always, remember that.

Zidane: I don't like the way that sounds....

Vashkey: Just answer the question.

Zidane: Alright, alright, I'm in. Now can I get some breakfast?

Punisher: **** breakfast. Now do you remember that nice little kid who ripped your extended pee hole off way back when?

Zidane: How I could I forget....

Vashkey: Well, that's Brian Dawes, also known as Dawsy, Devourer of Souls and the Jersey Devil, he's a cold-blooded stalker who has a strange desire for drinking what he calls "Golden Elixirs..."

Zidane: Piss....

Punisher: Yeah. Well, this little bastard has been getting on my nerves for a little while and I'm tired of reading about his **** in the papers, so that leaves you and me.

Zidane: Huh?

Punisher: You and I are going to go pay that little sheltered **** a visit.

Zidane:....... Well what about Vashkey?

Vashkey: I've got to go take a flight back to Kentucky, family business, so I'll see you around.

(Vashkey grabbed some bags and walked out on his way to La Guardia Airport.)

Zidane: So, it's just me and you...

Punisher: Scared?

Zidane: No.... Now what's the plan?

Punisher: It's as simple as it gets, we're gonna hit Brian where it hurts, first we disconnect his internet service from the outside, that way once he realizes that he can't look up his **** on Google, he'll come outside and check what's going on with the power....

Zidane: What if has a generator?

Punisher: Don't worry, he doesn't. Now, once he comes outside and checks his power line, you and I will grab him throw him in the trunk and take him for a reality spin on the 59th Street Bridge, afterwards you'll see what happens.

Zidane: Please tell me what next?

Punisher: You'll see now let's go.

Zidane: Hold on, what does Dawsy have to do with all this CIAI mess?

Punisher: Nothing. I just don't like the little son of a *****.

Zidane: But SS said New Hampshire, why don't we...

Punisher: What's the capital of New Hampshire?

Zidane:... Uh, I don't know...

Punisher: Ok. You're not qualified to go to New Hampshire, now what's the capital of Djibouti?

Zidane: What the hell? Djibouti?!

Punisher: Bingo! See, you're more qualified to go to Djibouti and we'll give you the first flight out if you want? Now let's get the **** out of here now.

(Zidane and Punisher got in the car and took a trip to the Dawes house....)
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[ * ]
(Zidane and Punisher walked drove for about 45 minutes to Dawsy's little town, it was a quiet community where everybody knows your name but Dawsy was inside on his computer looking at clowns doing the bad thing...)

Zidane: Eww... What is this guy?...

Punisher: A freak, that's what. Now you go over there and snip the power line.

(Zidane ran over to the power line and cut it, knocking off the power supply in the Dawes House.)

Punisher: Good job. Now we wait.

(Zidane and Punisher hid under some bushes and waited for Brian to come out of his hole, and he did.)

Punisher: Ok, now we go and take his ass, go!

(The two of them ran and knocked Dawsy to the ground and bashed his head across the disabled power supply and stuffed him in the trunk.)

Zidane: Now what?

Punisher: Take this.

(Punisher handed Zidane a three Molotov Cocktails.)

Zidane: You're gonna burn the house down?!

Punisher: Correction. You're gonna burn the house down. Now get on it!

(Zidane threw the cocktail as hard as he could through Dawsy's windows lighting the place on fire and alerting the neighbors.)

Punisher: Come on. These suburban bastards are on to us, we've got to hurry.

(Zidane hopped into the car and the two of them bolted out of the neighborhood and hit the highway.)

Zidane: That was kinda close.

Punisher: We're not out of the water yet...

(Two police cars flashed and drove furiously towards them.)

Zidane: ****!! What are we gonna do?!

Punisher: Can you drive?

Zidane:.... No.

Punisher: Can you do anything besides ***** and moan?!

Zidane:... I can play a driving video game....

Punisher: Fantastic... (Dumbass) Ok, grab the wheel and just try to keep it under control, don't floor it. That's a common mistake for first time drivers, keep it steady and let me take these Jersey troopers out.

(The two switched seats and Punisher pulled out a sniper rifle while Zidane shakily controlled the car on I-95.)

Zidane: ****! Look at all these cars!

Punisher: Shut up! Let me work, you just handle that car and I'll take care of the rest.

(Punisher took a diazepam so his hands would stop shaking and aimed for the car's tires although do to Zidane's horrible handling, his first shot missed.)

Punisher: Zidane!

Zidane: Sorry, I'm not used to this...

Punisher: Just let off the gas a little when I tell you.

(Punisher aimed at the same tire once again.)

Punisher: NOW!

(Punisher took the shot and the tire blew out causing the police car to spin out of control because of the high speeds slamming into the cop car right behind it and causing a massive 19 car pile up on the turnpike.)

Zidane: Is that it?....

Punisher: Yeah, now give me the wheel.

(The two switched places again and drove off for the bridge.)
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[ * ]
(Zidane and Punisher reached the 59th Street Bridge, it had plenty of traffic on it but it was moving swiftly, they parked the car a few feet away from the bridge and grabbed Dawsy, who was still knocked out from earlier and dragged him on the pedestrian side of the bridge.)

Zidane: We're gonna throw him off?

Punisher: That's the plan. You have objections?

Zidane: Well...

Punisher: This guy ripped your **** off, what's the problem, it's just a little bit of revenge. Besides, you've already burned down his house, what's he gonna go back to?

Zidane: Look, you made me burn down his house, I didn't know what was going...

Punisher: No, Zidane. You just did what I told you to do, no questions asked, I didn't force you into anything.

Zidane: But I know you... You're a very...

Punisher: Very what? Rule number 2. Don't make assumptions, that'll get you killed eventually.

Zidane: But you've been anticipating my every move, isn't that assuming?

Punisher: Heh, heh. I appreciate the concern but there's no need for you to worry about what I do. That's my business.

Zidane: But you can intrude on mine?

Punisher: Look at you Zidane. Where are you? Do you even know how you ended up here? What do you have? Without me, you wouldn't be even alive and if you somehow did, you'd end up just like him or Grizzly, nothing but a stone cold junkie.

Zidane: You want my thanks or something? I didn't ask for your help.

Punisher: No, not mine in particular but I do recall that when this guy had you dismembered that you screamed out in pain crying for help.

Zidane: Yeah, well...

Punisher: Well nothing. Now take the blocks out of the bag.

(Zidane opened up a large black garbage bag and brought out two cement blocks.)

Zidane: Here you go...

Punisher: Now use this rope and tie it around the blocks. Then tie the rope around his legs.

(Zidane did as he was told but as he finished knotting the last piece of rope, Dawsy woke up.)
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[ * ]
Dawsy: What...? Who?...

Punisher: Hiya Brian. Do you know who I am?

Dawsy:..... What are you people?! Where am I?!

Punisher: Gotta answer the question Brian.

Dawsy: Where's my computer? And what the **** have you done to my legs?!

Punisher: Still haven't answered the question.

Dawsy: A ****ing psycho. Happy?

Punisher: Yeah. But wrongo, slappy. Unfortunately, I'm not a ****ing psycho, that's your title. Instead, I'm the last living soul that you'll be seeing.

Dawsy: Bull! Now untie my legs and take me home.

Punisher: What home? You mean that little place that was cooked not too long ago?

Dawsy: Argh!!!! I'm not in a nice mood and you wouldn't want to see me in a nice mood so either untie me and let me go and stop playing games with me or...

Punisher: Zidane.

(Zidane grabbed Punisher's M4 and handed it to him.)

Punisher: Or... You get your **** blown off losing your constant supply of those Golden Elixirs you love so much.

Dawsy: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please, not that anything but that!

Punisher: Oh be quiet. You're gonna die anyway, I'm just ****ing with you.

Zidane: Punisher, stop toying with him, just let him go.

Punisher: You know the drill Zidane, give him his last pint.

(Zidane unzipped his pants and pissed in Dawsy's mouth.)

Dawsy: Ahh..... I, I, remember you... You're the guy who I ate.

Punisher: That really didn't sound right....

Zidane: No kidding.

Punisher: Well, we gave you your last, now it's time to go.

Dawsy: *Breathing heavily* Please....

Punisher: Sorry kid, you gotta die. But before we let you see just how deep the Hudson is...

(Punisher aimed his M4 at Dawsy's wee wee and blasted it off....)

Dawsy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Punisher: Much better. See ya later, you creepy little bastard.

(Punisher lifted up Dawsy and hurled him into the Hudson River, his feet still tied to the cement blocks, he sank straight to the bottom....)

Zidane: How cruel....

(The two of them walked off and got back into the car....)
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Notorious
[ * ]
(Zidane and Punisher hit the road and drove around the New Jersey Turnpike, they had reached Exit 7A, Six Flags.)

Zidane: Why are we coming here?

Punisher: Huh? We're not going to Six Flags, no reason to. But there's a pretty good diner around here and I'm hungry.

(Punisher parked the car and the two of them entered Dawes Diner.)

Zidane: Wait a minute... Wasn't that...

Punisher: Shh....

(They both grabbed a seat and a waitress took their orders.)

Zidane: What the hell are you doing? Is this where I think it is?

Punisher: That depends, where do you think this is?

Zidane: Well, it's called Dawes Diner and...

Punisher: Good job. Now, how's your foot?

Zidane: It's feeling a little better, I can walk somewhat normal again.

Punisher: After we eat, I'm gonna need you to walk to the car and get a suitcase and leave it by the entrance.

Zidane: You're not serious..........

Punisher: That whole bloodline is tainted, we've gotta stop it completely.

Zidane: Punisher, this is sick, you've done enough!

Punisher: Go get the stuff.

Zidane: No.

Punisher: Go get the stuff or....

(Punisher flashed his .357 Magnum.)

Zidane: Ok, ok.

(Zidane walked out and left the suitcase by the entrance.)

Zidane: Done.

Punisher: Did you enjoy your meal?

Zidane: I thought it sucked actually...

Punisher: There's our motivation. Come on.

(The two of them walked towards the suitcase and extracted C4 explosives from it.)

Zidane: Jesus!

Punisher: Put it under our table.

(Zidane once again did as he was told.)

Punisher: Leave a tip.

(Punisher got in the car along with Zidane and lighted the C4 destroying the Dawes Diner and killing each member of Dawsy's family in an instant. Punisher and Zidane drove off towards the base....)
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