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Commend Ananke
Topic Started: Oct 11 2010, 08:33 PM (1,344 Views)
sedge
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Sedgistan
No draft yet, just gathering stuff together.

http://s7.zetaboards.com/FRA/topic/8220630 - thread on FRA forum with some of Ananke's NS history in it:

NC
 
Ananke
Ananke started defending in 2004. She began her defending career in The North Pacific, helping with the liberation of the region from the clutches of NPO puppet UPS Rail and Great Bight respectively. She helped create the North Pacific Army shortly after, before moving on in later years to become an influential member of TITO, the ADN and the FRA.

Ananke
 
Just correcting a couple of small mistakes. ;) I helped start the North Pacific Army in late 2003. Became a member of ADN when The North Pacific joined in January 2004 and rose to ADN Secretary of State around april/may 2004, which effectivily put me just below Pope Hope and Unistrut in the ADN hierarchy. ADN and GLA are the defender orgs I've been most active in during my NS time.

The NPO takeover of TNP was in July/August 2004. I was one of the 3 puppetmasters, who organised the liberation.


http://s7.zetaboards.com/FRA/topic/8235719 - defender awards, profile of Ananke:

Sedge
 
Ananke is a living legend. She started defending in 2003. and began her career in The North Pacific. She helped start the North Pacific Army in late 2003, and became a member of ADN when The North Pacific joined in January 2004. She rose to ADN Secretary of State in early 2004, which effectivily put her just below Pope Hope and Unistrut in the ADN hierarchy. Ananke was one of the three 'puppetmasters' who organised the liberation of TNP from the NPO. She is still actively defending to this day, and is currently a member of TITO.


Note, the "puppetmaster" liberation is the only successful actual liberation of one of the Pacifics (invader/rogue delegates have been removed before, but by endo-swapping instead).

Telegram from Guy (10KI delegate, co-author), about her 10KI contributions/achievements:
Quote:
 
* Greeted every single new nation for... Ages. Before she was even Delegate I think.
* She made a lot of Islanders feel welcome & at home.
* Over 1000 recruits
* Very successful Delegacy, with the Islands becoming the biggest user-created region, and she had the most endos in NS -- maybe a bit about inviting resolution-writers to our forums?
* Lead our foreign affairs and wrote a monthly newsletter -- just retired from that leaving it all to me :P
* Was a TITO Tactical Officer


I TGed Ananke to confirm she'd be ok with a commendation (she is), and she says that it should probably be for Ananke II, as thats been her main nation since 2008. However, I'll make clear that it'll also reference her contributions back in the "old days" so she may want it to be directed at the nation Ananke.

Hoping to get a draft done this week.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
OK, got confirmation that it is Ananke II to target with the resolution. Will try and draft a first attempt tomorrow.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
Quote:
 
The Security Council:

Recognising that Ananke II is more commonly referred to just as "Ananke";

Recalling that Ananke helped to start the North Pacific Army, based out of the region The North Pacific, in 2003, which became one of the most powerful and influential armies in NationStates (?);

Acknowledging Ananke as a leading member of the now defunct Alliance Defense Network (ADN), the largest multi-regional alliance in NationStates history, rising to the position of Secretary of State within the organisation;

Asserting that through holding this position within the ADN, Ananke assisted with the protection of numerous regions from the threat of invasion;

Appluading Ananke's role as one of the three leaders of the "puppetmaster" liberation of The North Pacific in 2004, the largest-scale successful liberation in NationStates history (?), which freed the region from the tyranny of the New Pacific Order (?);

Praising Ananke's continued work as a defender - first in the North Pacific Army, and then as part of the ADN, the Global Liberation Army, and more recently, the 10000 Islands Treaty Organisation (TITO), which has helped to keep hundreds of regions free to rule themselves without intereference from hostile outside forces - a cause that aligns with the Security Council's stated aim of spreading interregional peace;

Observing Ananke's tireless work within 10000 Islands, which she has helped to turn into one of the largest and most influential regions in NationStates, through extensive recruiting efforts, and the welcoming of every new nation that joins the region - a benefit shared by the wider NationStates community, as it leads to an increase in the number of nations actively engaged with their peers;

Recognising Ananke's recently-finished stint as delegate of 10000 Islands, during which Ananke was the highest-endorsed delegate in several years, who assisted in engaging the 10000 Islands community with the World Assembly, and allowed proposal authors to directly lobby 10000 Islands citizens;

Acknowledging that as delegate of 10000 Islands, Ananke was also responsible for leading the foreign affairs mission of the region, and helped to drastically increase its foreign affairs involvement, and improving diplomatic relations between other regions and 10000 Islands;

Perceiving that Ananke's work as a defender, spreading interregional peace, and as a delegate and diplomat for 10000 Islands, spreading goodwill, aligns perfectly with the Security Council's aims;

Concluding that few nations have made such a significant and beneficial contribution to NationStates as Ananke II has, and that these contributions should therefore be recognised through a Commendation from the World Assembly;

Hereby Commends Ananke II

Co-authored by Just Guy(?)


Very early days for this one. Its far too 'dry' for my liking, and the introduction is rubbish. Got the basic facts down in proposal format - but some of them (marked with a "?") need verifying first.

There's also probably too much about Ananke's work aligning with the goals of the Security Council - almost sounds like its a self-commendation by the SC - definitely got to iron that out.

Not sure about the structure (defending stuff first, more recent 10KI work second) - it needs to be meshed together better. Lots of the clauses don't flow very well either.

A lot of it will be re-written over the next few days

useful words
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Yellow Matter Custard
Quote:
 
Recognising that Ananke II is more commonly referred to just as "Ananke";


Not bad. I was going to suggest referring to Ananke II as a 'puppet' of Ananke (legal under R4), but apparently it is no longer really a puppet. So I like this line.

Quote:
 
Recalling that Ananke helped to start the North Pacific Army, based out of the region The North Pacific, in 2003, which became one of the most powerful and influential armies in NationStates (?);


Maybe some specifics of how many missions they did, or a quote from a respected gameplayer from 2003. As opposed to a bold statement like "most powerful". Additionally the 'most powerful' army isn't necessarily one that the WA should be commending, I mean, Macedon is an army too.

Quote:
 
Appluading Ananke's role as one of the three leaders of the "puppetmaster" liberation of The North Pacific in 2004, the largest-scale successful liberation in NationStates history (?), which freed the region from the tyranny of the New Pacific Order (?);


What was so bad about the NPO? A brief statement about them in point form below this clause could help clarified it.

Quote:
 
Praising Ananke's continued work as a defender - first in the North Pacific Army, and then as part of the ADN, the Global Liberation Army, and more recently, the 10000 Islands Treaty Organisation (TITO), which has helped to keep hundreds of regions free to rule themselves without intereference from hostile outside forces -- a cause that aligns with the Security Council's stated aim of spreading interregional peace;


Edit in red.

Quote:
 
Observing Ananke's tireless work within 10000 Islands, which she has helped to turn into one of the largest and most influential regions in NationStates, through extensive recruiting efforts, and the welcoming of every new nation that joins the region -- a benefit shared by the wider NationStates community, as it leads to an increase in the number of nations actively engaged with their peers;


Remove that comma and add that dash.

Quote:
 
Recognizing Ananke's recently-finished stint as delegate of 10000 Islands, during which Ananke was the highest-endorsed delegate in several years, who assisted in engaging the 10000 Islands community with the World Assembly, and allowed proposal authors to directly lobby 10000 Islands citizens;


This seems like something 10ki should give her a badge for, not the SC.

Quote:
 
Concluding that few nations have made such a significant and beneficial contribution to NationStates as Ananke II has, and that these contributions should therefore be recognised through a Commendation from the World Assembly;

Hereby Commends Ananke II.


Ha. At least you're consistent.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
Ah, me and my commas :P I always over-use them, so yeah, maybe a few will be dropped :P

I saw that Parti Ouvrier was attempting a draft here, so I've invited him to contribute to this. He makes a good point about Ananke the player - " wanted the commendation to be things that are unique about her character and style" - something I'd like to capture too, but obviously Rule 4 makes that difficult.
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sedge
Oct 15 2010, 08:01 PM
Ah, me and my commas :P I always over-use them, so yeah, maybe a few will be dropped :P
Aw Sedge. One more thing that we have in common. Nai got me used to checking for them after "and"s and "or"s.
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sedge
Oct 15 2010, 08:01 PM


I saw that Parti Ouvrier was attempting a draft here, so I've invited him to contribute to this. He makes a good point about Ananke the player - " wanted the commendation to be things that are unique about her character and style" - something I'd like to capture too, but obviously Rule 4 makes that difficult.
Sounds good, we'll be glad to have him.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
Don't think he's going to contribute to this, he says he doesn't like praising defending.
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A mean old man
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Crazed Curmudgeon
I'm all for this. I don't know enough about Ananke's history to be of much help in the drafting, but my verbosity and lingual strengths could be of use at some point.

EDIT: Just noticed the NPO bit ... I think we're going to have to have a chat about this one before I continue editing it and before it is submitted.
Edited by A mean old man, Oct 16 2010, 06:32 PM.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
Verbosity and lingual strengths are good - I've got all the facts about her history anyway (I think, at least - anything errors will only probably be found out when I run the resolution by her), but it doesn't read particularly well at the moment. Aside from the commas, if there's any other changes you can think of to improve it, they'd be appreciated.
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