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Liberate Utopia
Topic Started: Dec 3 2009, 11:36 PM (981 Views)
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Yellow Matter Custard
Oh, I thought you said both had contacted you. Did one of them say they want a liberation?
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sedge
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Sedgistan
Acacallis did and Ocean Pride did, but I haven't heard back from Debenture.
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sedge
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Sedgistan
sedge
Dec 6 2009, 07:07 PM
Far longer than I would've expected, but its good - especially the definitions. I'm not sure about my definition of the Allied Liberation League as a defending organisation - I think they were about defence of their members, rather than other regions, so I'd be hesitant about calling them a 'defender alliance', but I can't think of an alternative definition.
Spoken to a former member of the ALL, 'defensive alliance' is probably the best term to describe them.
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Yellow Matter Custard
Okay, I've updated the proposal.
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Trav-Coch
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sedge
Dec 6 2009, 07:07 PM
Also, isn't it 'an historic', rather than 'a historic'?
How so? 'Historic' doesn't begin with a vowel, spelling-wise or pronunciation-wise.
Edited by Trav-Coch, Dec 7 2009, 09:10 AM.
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Trav-Coch
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Quote:
 

Defining
(a) “Password Grieving” as an invading technique, where an invader-in-disguise hides in a region long enough to accumulate a high level of regional influence, and then becomes delegate in the founderless region to immediately establish an invisible password, and begin emptying the region of those not affiliated with their invader organization,
(b) “Invisible Password” as a delegate-instituted password which is required to enter a region and which is not known to other residents besides the delegate and/or founder,


Quote:
 

Having Examined the invasion of Utopia and having ascertained that the Alliance of Dictators and their delegate in Utopia, Lustrous Lemurs, have relied on password grieving to secure the delegacy of Utopia,

Cognizant of Acacallis and Ocean Pride, two residents of Utopia (at the time of this resolution’s creation), who the Utopian invader delegate has not yet been successful in ejecting and banning,

...

Concurring with the residents of Utopia that the continued suppression of the region by the Alliance of Dictators -- an organization which promotes the termination of liberals, and deplores democracy (according to their World Factbook Entry) --(reconsider) could only have awful consequences for Utopia,

Convinced that ignoring Utopia in its time of need would be being ungrateful to Utopia for its years of service to international peace and security,

There. I've put some of my suggestions. That Light Blue coloured section needs to be reconsidered. It could come across as, "The SC is trying to impose Democracy on all! So Vote NOEZ!!"

And I also present a modified version of the operative HEREBY clause:
Quote:
 

HEREBY liberates Utopia from the yoke of the invisible Delegate-imposed password.

:P
Edited by Trav-Coch, Dec 7 2009, 10:19 AM.
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Yellow Matter Custard
Okay, I've made you're edits. I think.

Thanks Trav!
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Sedgistan
For sake of acuracy, I'd make it The Alliance of Dictators.

Also, this probably needs rewording:
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(b) “Invisible Password” as a delegate-instituted password which is required to enter a region, if the password is not known to other residents besides the delegate and/or founder,

Because the obvious claim is that the other invaders are residents, and that they know the password. While I'd love to see a definition of 'natives' in a WA resolution, its probably best just to add something like 'nations participating in an invasion' at the end.

Finally:
Quote:
 
Cognizant of Acacallis and Ocean Pride, two residents of Utopia (at the time of this resolution’s creation), who the invader delegate has not yet been successful in ejecting and banning,

Would that not be 'whom'? I can't remember the rules on who/whom, so I'm asking a question, rather than saying it should be 'whom'.
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Yellow Matter Custard
I've edited the rest of your suggestions into the proposal, except who/whom because that's turned into a snowball of grammatical inanity (subjective, objective, perjective... blahblahblah)... I think I'll wait to ask my pedantic girlfriend.. :D
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Sedgistan
I'm not too bothered by it, but this resolution is so good, I wouldn't want it to have some basic grammatical flaws :D

I'm fine with it now, so once you've got the grammar checked over, it should be ok to post on the WA forums.
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