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| The Rhyming Lantern and the founding of Empiresgranite; A Dwarf Fortress Tale by Slagar | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 13 2012, 10:06 AM (356 Views) | |
| Slagar | Oct 13 2012, 10:06 AM Post #1 |
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Ancient
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![]() Sit down and shut up, it's storytime with uncle Slagar. (this is written in a way that assumes you know nothing about Dwarf Fortress, but if you're unsure what something is or means just ask, otherwise stick around for the adventure! most important parts highlighted in red) By Armok, I'm surrounded by idiots and loggerheads! First some group calling themselves The Doors of Racing attempt to create a fort in the zombie infested Northeast, and after that failed and almost everyone died they tried again right next to the first! Now the king claims that he's figured out the problem, he keeps sending dwarves to the wrong place! Who would've thought! So now where does he want to establish a fort? Just west of the wasteland, in some untamed wilds he's dubbed The Forests of Clefts. He already got a bunch of cocksuckers together to get the new fortress started, and guess who gets ordered to oversee the operation. Yep, me. It took us months to get here, but it's not like we have a choice; disobeying the king means death. The expedition group of 7 dwarves calls themselves The Rhyming Lanterns, a stupid name I might add, and for the name of the fortress: Thalallolok, which is dwarven for Empiresgranite. I just hope this fort fares better than those made by The Doors of Racing. Spoiler: click to toggle Here's what we brought with: 2 miners 1 mason 1 carpenter 1 swordwarf 1 doctor 1 farmer 4 dogs And a variety of other supplies... So far so good, relative to my rather low expectations of course. I've set the miners to digging out some rooms for our craftdwarves. These rooms will later serve as workshops for our masons and carpenters. I've also cleared some land for underground farms. We'll grow mushrooms called "Plump Helmets" there to eat and make drinks from, god knows these little cocksuckers can't do anything right unless they're wasted. It's been quiet so far, though I had a rather disturbing report of large mooses twisted into humanoid forms. The other dwarves have taken to calling them Moosemen. They can call them whatever they want for all I care, so long as those Moosemen keep their distance. Shit, some loggerhead forgot to grab their damn axe, so now we can't cut down any trees. If we can't cut down any trees, we can't make half the stuff that goes into a fortress like beds and charcoal. We can't forge an axe because we can't make charcoal, so we have two options: wait for some traders to show up and buy an axe, or find some coal to use in place of charcoal. In the meantime I'm going to find the imbecile responsible and hang them by their ears. It's awfully quiet around here. Preparations for our fortress continue to go well despite not having an axe. Currently storage rooms and a massive dining room are being built. Still, we're just 7 dwarves out here with 2 short swords and only one of us knows anything about actually using them. It is now summer. Here's a look at things so far: ![]() ![]() ![]()
Edited by Slagar, Oct 13 2012, 12:42 PM.
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No because you're a democrat living in Texas, which is IMPOSSIBLE meaning you do not exist. - AceofSpades Violence solves everything. Like jigsaw puzzles. I could not find the piece that completed the cloud on the left side, so out of anger I punched my sister. Her earring came off and as I bent down to pick it up so that I could sell it at a pawn shop, I noticed it had landed right on top of the piece I needed. - Fintron So I tied a noose in my closet, and then my dad came by and was like, "lol Chris why you tioeing nooses in your closet?" -Mafujalate329 | |
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| Slagar | Oct 13 2012, 12:37 PM Post #2 |
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Ancient
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I don't know how but suddenly we have 3 logs. I've forbidden the other dwarves from touching them, I'm going to make us an axe if it's the last thing I do. First we need to find some ores to make metal, then turn the wood in charcoal to make the metal, and then we should hopeful have enough charcoal left over to smith us an axe. Here goes nothing... Some immigrants have arrived. Good, we could use anyone we can get right now. What the, one of them is insane! He just runs around babbling completely naked! Wait, oh no. These, these are survivors from The Racing Doors! Three of them, a couple of weaponsmiths, one of which is severely depressed from the horrors he witnessed in those wastelands, one fairly normal, and then the crazy guy. Just great. Oh wait, nope the one I thought was normal just broke down crying on my shoulder as he walked in. Fucking shit. Ah well, the two non-crazy ones are hard workers, skilled too. Once we get them calmed down they'll be welcome additions. Success, our miners have struck tetrahedrite, an ore used to make copper! The crazy dude is dancing on a table singing the worst song I've ever heard. I'm tempted to just have him killed already, but I don't need to depress my new immigrants further. Success! At last we have an axe! Now to get to work! The crazy guy died. Apparently someone was singing and dancing so much he forgot to get a drink. I'll throw his body in the garbage, he doesn't deserve a proper burial. Autumn has come. It sure is quiet around here... A Giant Kea is flying around down south. It better not come any closer, with no crossbows or bolts we can't fight it unless it just happens to land on our Swordsdwarf's blade. Wait, scratch that, it's a whole goddamn flock of the cocksuckers! Now that we finally got wood we've started making some proper bedrooms. Now the others can stop whining about how "uncomfortable" the cold, hard stone floor is. Well the Giant Keas ignored us, apparently we're too small of prey. Or maybe Kea don't eat meat. Now let's see if the newest arrivals, a gang of Misquito Men will cause any problems. More migrants, 3 of them, all surivors of The Racing Doors. They're all just as terrified and depressed as the others were. This brings the total population to 12. The Misquito Men and the Giant Misquito that came with them are just annoying, they don't actually attack our dwarves, just freak them out whenever they try to talk to us. A dwarven caravan has arrived seeking to trade. They had nothing useful save for an anvil. No loss, as we had nothing to trade. But what's this? Just as we we're trading a Kobold The if appeared! 2 of them in fact! The caravan guards have set off after the thieves, let them deal with it. Suddenly a Giant Echidna charges out of the bushes at one of the guards! The guard reacts immediately, raising his spear to catch the beast upon it as it charges! The spear has been firmly lodged inside of the Echidna, essentially impaling it on the guard's spear! The guard walks away calmly and unscathed. Winter is upon us. While digging downwards, our miners have discovered a massive cavern beneath us. I've ordered for the digging operations to halt, we don't know what's down there... Another thief, once again chased off by the caravan guards. Their protection is nice, though temporary. We'll need our own military soon. The caravan has left. Remember that crazy guy who died? His ghost is haunting the place. He's still singing and dancing, except now no one can sleep because he's 20 times louder. Fortunately the survivors from the Doors of Racing knew what to do, apparently having dealt with ghosts before. Problem was solved quickly enough, we pulled his skeleton out of the trash and threw him in a coffin and his ghost just disappeared. Spring has arrived. Here's a look at things so far: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
Edited by Slagar, Oct 13 2012, 01:53 PM.
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No because you're a democrat living in Texas, which is IMPOSSIBLE meaning you do not exist. - AceofSpades Violence solves everything. Like jigsaw puzzles. I could not find the piece that completed the cloud on the left side, so out of anger I punched my sister. Her earring came off and as I bent down to pick it up so that I could sell it at a pawn shop, I noticed it had landed right on top of the piece I needed. - Fintron So I tied a noose in my closet, and then my dad came by and was like, "lol Chris why you tioeing nooses in your closet?" -Mafujalate329 | |
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| Slagar | Oct 13 2012, 05:24 PM Post #3 |
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Ancient
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Sarvesh Kastarushir, a leatherworker, burst into my office babbling about how he created some sort of masterpiece. Personally I don't see what's so great about it, it looks like any other piece of leather armor, but whatever. Immigrants, more survivors of The Racing Doors. As usual their depressed, one keeps in particular keeps babbling about "the infinite void." But like before they're all hardened and tough dwarves, so we welcome their help. Three of the survivors just went raving mad, they've stripped down and are chanting about god knows what, and at the same time Sarvesh, the leatherworker, just became possessed by some potentially evil force. He's locked himself in the leather workshop and refuses to leave. He just keeps muttering over and over again, "Asrermasos needs.. leather skins..." I'm not going anywhere near that guy until whatever he's planning on doing is done and over with. Oh, and some Misquito Men are flying around outside harassing our hunting operations that I ordered to get that leatherworker some leather before he totally loses it. Fortunately we got a horse to slaughter for just such an occasion. Scratch that, make it four of the survivors have gone insane. At least we finally got Sarvesh his damn leather, he better be up to something good... Shit, yet another of the survivors has lost it, but instead of running about naked he went completely berserk! He went after a farmer, but apparently wasn't aware or was too crazy too care about the fact that this farmer just got back from hunting and was armed with a crossbow. It shot tore several nerves in the insane dwarf before a member of miltia decapitated the bastard with his copper sword. Hurrah! Sarvesh has created a legendary masterpiece, Asrermasos the Leather Buckler! With this the leatherworker has returned to normal and is estatic about his new, true masterpiece. Sarvesh tells me the name is ancient dwarven for "Appearedtalk", whatever that means. Spoiler: click to toggle One of the dwarves just came running in from chopping down trees saying some elves ordered him to stop. I just about had him killed for making up stories when I looked out to see for myself a caravan guarded by the pointy eared scum headed our way. Seems they want to trade. very well, we'll play nice. For now... It is now summer. A hunter opened fire on a Giant Crow passing overhead and actually did some damage. The monster was forced to land as it had several tendons torn, nerves cut, and was bleeding heavily from the hunter's accurate and powerful crossbow shots. Unfortunately the hunter ran out of bolts and now the beast was blocking his way back to the fortress. Fortunately our militia arrived on the scene and finished the beast off. I wonder how these things taste... Edited by Slagar, Oct 13 2012, 07:49 PM.
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No because you're a democrat living in Texas, which is IMPOSSIBLE meaning you do not exist. - AceofSpades Violence solves everything. Like jigsaw puzzles. I could not find the piece that completed the cloud on the left side, so out of anger I punched my sister. Her earring came off and as I bent down to pick it up so that I could sell it at a pawn shop, I noticed it had landed right on top of the piece I needed. - Fintron So I tied a noose in my closet, and then my dad came by and was like, "lol Chris why you tioeing nooses in your closet?" -Mafujalate329 | |
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