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Free Antiv1rus Softwaerz; tech humor
Topic Started: Friday Sep 17 2010, 01:19 PM (593 Views)
Jandurin
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meh. USPS doesn't know my e-mail address, and I never hide extensions.
Photobucket? More like fotophuckit
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-SG-
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For the Lulz
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You should toss that attachment in a VM and run it, just to see what it does. We get the fake linked in and UPS emails that attachments all the time, but they don't look half as good as the USPS one.
Oscar Gamble
 
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Jandurin
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downloads hundreds of gigs of high quality porn to his HDD no doubt.

GOD WHY CAN'T HACKERS BE AWESOME AND DO THAT? I suppose they'd need a place to download from etc. etc.

SRSLY

Can you imagine all the ultra conservative Christian wives opening up random folders to find porn and blaming the husband?

"I don't know how it got there honey, seriously :'("
Edited by Jandurin, Wednesday Oct 6 2010, 10:38 AM.
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-SG-
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Your on to something. We could buy an existing botnet(so we wouldn't have to start from scratch) and alter it to act as a P2P file sharing network instead of a SMTP spam generator(we would retain some mass email function to have a means to distribute infected emails). Then we could upload our finest choice pronz to the CnC servers, and have them push the pronz to all the infected PCs, which in turn send the pronz to the newly infected pcs added by the emails.

Oscar Gamble
 
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Jandurin
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it would be glorious
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-SG-
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Had a client today who wanted me to come onsite cause everytime she turned on her PC she saw something called 'Award BIOS' that has infected her PC. Said that there was a master and slave hard drive working in the background. Also thought that her internet was not coming from ATT, but had been hijacked and was coming from another provider that is feeding her false data.

Who wants to trade jobs?
Oscar Gamble
 
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whoozwah
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Is it live, or is it Dave-orex?
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in my over 5 yrs doing this, I've never had a customer that stupid
Realtime Last.fm feed. I have everything scrobbling to it.

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It is possible to be inaccessible without hiding.
It is possible to be aware without being awake.
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-SG-
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Yeah... chick is crazy. It's a business client, so I was afraid I would have to go out there but my boss has axed that. He doesn't want to deal with it lol
Oscar Gamble
 
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Jandurin
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SgSpecial180
Tuesday Oct 19 2010, 09:26 AM
Had a client today who wanted me to come onsite cause everytime she turned on her PC she saw something called 'Award BIOS' that has infected her PC. Said that there was a master and slave hard drive working in the background. Also thought that her internet was not coming from ATT, but had been hijacked and was coming from another provider that is feeding her false data.

Who wants to trade jobs?
rofl

Tell her she's fucked, it's the end of the world, and all of her data are belong to you.
Edited by Jandurin, Tuesday Oct 19 2010, 09:42 AM.
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Jandurin
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SgSpecial180
Tuesday Oct 19 2010, 09:38 AM
Yeah... chick is crazy. It's a business client, so I was afraid I would have to go out there but my boss has axed that. He doesn't want to deal with it lol
dumbass

you should have been like I NEED TO GO HELP THIS WENCH.

Then brough a tape recorder

Then posted it for lulz :>
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-SG-
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Yeah that would have been pretty funny, but I don't feel like ending up as a lamp shade in some crazy persons house.
Edited by -SG-, Tuesday Oct 19 2010, 10:47 AM.
Oscar Gamble
 
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famicommander
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Wipe that face off your head, bitch.
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I once had a customer come into the store with half of a USB cable and half of a 6 pin Firewire cable.

He had cut them in half and tried to splice them together.

Also, I had a good one today:

I had a customer come into the store asking for a good game for her six year old. She said that his favorites were New Super Mario Bros, Sonic Rush, and Kirby Squeak Squad.

I told her that was no problem. I grabbed Sonic Classic Collection, Kirby Superstar Ultra, and a few other platformers off the shelf and showed them to her.

She settled on Sonic Classic Collection. So she bought it and left.

Sounds like a routine sale, no?

Well, about two hours later, the phone rings. I pick it up, and this lady and her son are too stupid to play any of the Sonic games. I spent literally a half hour on the phone trying to convince this woman that the game was showing her a demo, and not, in fact, playing itself. She was convinced I sold her a broken game and demanded her money back.

Once she shut the fuck up for a second I was able to walk her through the process (press START, you dumb whore). But it was retarded to be sure.
Denver Broncos: defending champs, 8-6, next game 12/25 @ Kansas City Chiefs
Colorado Rockies: 75-87, missed playoffs
Colorado Avalanche: 11-18-1, next game 12/20 @ Minnesota Wild
Denver Nuggets: 12-16, next game 12/20 @ Los Angeles Clippers
Colorado Mammoth: first game 12/30 @ Buffalo Bandits
Denver Outlaws: defending champs, first game 4/22 @ Charlotte Hounds
Colorado State Rams football: 7-5, next game Idaho Bowl 12/22 vs Idaho Vandals
Colorado State Rams basketball: 8-4, next game 12/22 vs Long Beach State 49ers
Winnipeg Blue Bombers: 11-7, lost West Division Semifinal
Denver Pioneers Lacrosse: first game 1/24 vs Johns Hopkins Blue Jays
#2 Denver Pioneers Hockey: 12-3-3, next game 12/30 @ Providence College Friars
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NFunspoiler
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It's amazing how these people are able to function in their day to day life.
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Slayer706
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The best of the best of The Board.
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A customer, who had brought several computers in for various issues over the years, offered me $20 to write him a step-by-step manual on "how to fix computers", because he was sick of paying us.

Yeah, I will get right on that.
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-SG-
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lawl @ Fami. Thats great. My question is if the son has already played a Sonic game... then wouldn't he know how to start the new one? And if he is indeed a sentient English speaking human lifeform with even the most rudimentary problem solving skills then wouldn't he know that 'start' means, lets fucking start the game? The only possible semi understandable explanation would be if the controller was loose or something and the game wouldn't respond....

And $20 for a playbook on PC repair? ha. Reminds me of a story about an old guy who brought his hard drive into Geek Squad for data recovery. Apparently he had found some guide on the internet that was a very detailed step by step of how to clean your hard drive. It involved removing all the screws, pulling the platters out and putting em in the dishwasher. At the very end of the guide in small print theres a warning to the effect of 'if you took this seriously you dont need to operate a pc'. So thats what he did, followed the guide to the letter without reading through it first. The Geek Squad guy pretty much confirmed that yeah, your fucked.

One of the most common things I hear from walkins is 'Hey man, tell me how to remove a virus'. Not that simple.
Oscar Gamble
 
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famicommander
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Wipe that face off your head, bitch.
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It was a DS game, so it wasn't controller issue.

And the last game he had was Sonic Rush, which was a new game. Sonic Classic Collection is a compilation, and as a result there are more menus to navigate.

It's no excuse, but that's likely the culprit.
Denver Broncos: defending champs, 8-6, next game 12/25 @ Kansas City Chiefs
Colorado Rockies: 75-87, missed playoffs
Colorado Avalanche: 11-18-1, next game 12/20 @ Minnesota Wild
Denver Nuggets: 12-16, next game 12/20 @ Los Angeles Clippers
Colorado Mammoth: first game 12/30 @ Buffalo Bandits
Denver Outlaws: defending champs, first game 4/22 @ Charlotte Hounds
Colorado State Rams football: 7-5, next game Idaho Bowl 12/22 vs Idaho Vandals
Colorado State Rams basketball: 8-4, next game 12/22 vs Long Beach State 49ers
Winnipeg Blue Bombers: 11-7, lost West Division Semifinal
Denver Pioneers Lacrosse: first game 1/24 vs Johns Hopkins Blue Jays
#2 Denver Pioneers Hockey: 12-3-3, next game 12/30 @ Providence College Friars
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HI-MAY
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Man don't you guys feel like you work for the CDC some days?
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-SG-
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So apparently Limewire has been shutdown.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2371462,00.asp
Oscar Gamble
 
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Necrotrophic
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change molds name back in 2011
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i didnt know people were still dumb enough to install that in the first place. Isnt lw well known for bundling spyware?
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-SG-
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Yeah lots of tards use LW. What kills me is that I see a lot of people who actually pay for the pro version. I think the app itself is clean, and that the infections come from fake mp3s that require 'special codecs' to play or copies of full programs that are 5KB .exes lol
Oscar Gamble
 
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