| The Runner Corperation Come join today :D! |
| Funny Jokes; Post Your Best Jokes! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sunday May 17 2009, 07:08 AM (351 Views) | |
| Blade36 | Sunday May 17 2009, 07:08 AM Post #1 |
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The Poster Man
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So, in this thread you can post your favorite jokes, doesn't matter where you heard them from, just post! And when you reply please dont reply with just lol rlin*cough*. You could say like, "lol, that's hilarious" and have a joke of your own in that same post. Requirements: ...clean, i guess you could put a little profanity, no "adult" things Now for mine- A pirate had a wooden leg, a hook on one arm, and a patch over one eye. Someone asked him how these things happened. He said that a whale bit off his leg, a crocodile had chewed off his hand, and a bird dropping hit him in the eye. The other guy replied that he understood about the wooden leg having had his original bite off by a whale, and the hook was there to replace the hand the crocodile had chewed off, but a patch over the eye because of a bird dropping ... that he didn’t understand. The pirate said that when the bird dropping hit him in the eye, that was the first day he had had his hook. Every Single post MUST have a joke or it will be deleted
Edited by Blade36, Thursday May 21 2009, 10:05 AM.
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![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| Rlin | Sunday May 17 2009, 03:38 PM Post #2 |
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lmfao phail phail xP, and want me 2 make a section for jokes? and mayb riddles |
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I'm Rlin and RLin06 on Pawn Tactics Biography Name: Richard Lin Age: 12 City: NYC Birthday: 6696 School: George J. Ryan Middle School My Youtube channel click here Suscribe me click here Other: I like making videos, touritals, sites, robots, programming, and other stuff that has to do with computers. Contact Information Aim: Rlin11432 E-Mail: rlin11432@gmail.com Myspace Stats in Avatar, please put your stats in your signature or avatar as well. ![]() ![]() ~~~~~Other Info~~~~~ Clan site created on 3/1/09 by xNinjaManx Rlin acquired ownership of [RUN] on 3/1/09 | |
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| Blade36 | Monday May 18 2009, 05:25 PM Post #3 |
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The Poster Man
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Ya, jokes and riddles section would be cool, also to the bugs one, could you add suggestions to it? and you joke was hilariuos rlin.......... My joke:(i wouldnt forget, i need to learn to stay on subject too) Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up." (i'm pretty sure thats true also...) |
![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| Rlin | Tuesday May 19 2009, 03:06 PM Post #4 |
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LMFAO OWNT THE COPS LOL and ill add the section soon |
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I'm Rlin and RLin06 on Pawn Tactics Biography Name: Richard Lin Age: 12 City: NYC Birthday: 6696 School: George J. Ryan Middle School My Youtube channel click here Suscribe me click here Other: I like making videos, touritals, sites, robots, programming, and other stuff that has to do with computers. Contact Information Aim: Rlin11432 E-Mail: rlin11432@gmail.com Myspace Stats in Avatar, please put your stats in your signature or avatar as well. ![]() ![]() ~~~~~Other Info~~~~~ Clan site created on 3/1/09 by xNinjaManx Rlin acquired ownership of [RUN] on 3/1/09 | |
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| Blade36 | Thursday May 21 2009, 10:02 AM Post #5 |
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The Poster Man
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...RLIN! When you post have a joke in your post!! (it was maybe..every other, but read the new rule) My Joke(seems to be the only jokes here(which is main reason for new rule..)): *This is also true* Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted in to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. |
![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| Ilikeshooting | Friday May 22 2009, 12:13 AM Post #6 |
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The Demented Kitty
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So, I wasn't feeling good a few days ago, and so I went to see my doctor. He did some tests on me, and said that he needed to medicate me. First, he said, "Take this yellow pill in the morning, when you get up, with a big glass of water." Second, he said, "Take this green pill in the afternoon, with a big glass of water." Third, he said, "Take this blue pill in the evening, after dinner, with a big glass of water." Finally, he said, "Take this red pill at night before you go to bed, with 2 big glasses of water." Well, I was worried, with all these pills I had to take, so I asked him, "Doc, what's wrong with me?" And he replied, "You're not drinking enough water." |
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"Demod parma." -Binladen "Knif3r what u think u know, u will surpass (KFC), but as soon as u turn ur back KFC will choke SIG, snap SVG's neck, an come out on top, doubt urself and u will surely lose, be to full of urself u'll fall like a mighty oak tree. Watch it, we wont give up." -LePie > [KFC]Tote: Who woudn't be in love with ils? Why so serious? | |
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| Blade36 | Saturday May 23 2009, 12:26 PM Post #7 |
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The Poster Man
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lol, docter fail >.< i wonder what all those pills would do.. Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and *splat!*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off...." "Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?" The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said... "He looks like thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression. "Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like *before* you hit him?" The man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed "Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!" |
![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| Rlin | Saturday May 23 2009, 08:39 PM Post #8 |
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lmfao phailz both and pills r just sugar and sum gel thingy lol, and i have no joke =O This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket." |
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I'm Rlin and RLin06 on Pawn Tactics Biography Name: Richard Lin Age: 12 City: NYC Birthday: 6696 School: George J. Ryan Middle School My Youtube channel click here Suscribe me click here Other: I like making videos, touritals, sites, robots, programming, and other stuff that has to do with computers. Contact Information Aim: Rlin11432 E-Mail: rlin11432@gmail.com Myspace Stats in Avatar, please put your stats in your signature or avatar as well. ![]() ![]() ~~~~~Other Info~~~~~ Clan site created on 3/1/09 by xNinjaManx Rlin acquired ownership of [RUN] on 3/1/09 | |
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| Blade36 | Sunday May 24 2009, 07:24 PM Post #9 |
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The Poster Man
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lol rlin, thats a good one xP Now for my awesome;y awesome one!!! What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him? *drum roll* I didn't do it on porpoise!!! (had to put in one of those stupid "one liners" :D) |
![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| Rlin | Monday May 25 2009, 09:53 AM Post #10 |
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o.o who edited my post and added a joke 2 it? *cough blade cough* An Irishman, a Scottishman and an Englishman are all going to be executed by a firing squad. The Englishman is taken out and told to face the wall so he does but just as they're going to shoot him, he shouts "Earthquake!" and the firing squad runs away. Then they bring out the Scottishman and he faces the wall but just as they are going to shoot he shouts "Tidal Wave!" and the firing squad again runs away. The Irishman is brought out and they tell him to face the wall and just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the Irishman shouts, "Fire!" |
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I'm Rlin and RLin06 on Pawn Tactics Biography Name: Richard Lin Age: 12 City: NYC Birthday: 6696 School: George J. Ryan Middle School My Youtube channel click here Suscribe me click here Other: I like making videos, touritals, sites, robots, programming, and other stuff that has to do with computers. Contact Information Aim: Rlin11432 E-Mail: rlin11432@gmail.com Myspace Stats in Avatar, please put your stats in your signature or avatar as well. ![]() ![]() ~~~~~Other Info~~~~~ Clan site created on 3/1/09 by xNinjaManx Rlin acquired ownership of [RUN] on 3/1/09 | |
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| Blade36 | Monday May 25 2009, 02:13 PM Post #11 |
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The Poster Man
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i have no clue what you are talking about *cough*monk (but those jokes are kinda good >.<) A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!" The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!" |
![]() ________________You Are Never Alone________________ Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
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| rokester | Tuesday May 26 2009, 05:08 PM Post #12 |
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rokester
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i got these from a riddle book there ok so:what has holes but can hold water . a sponge how do you drop an egg on a concrete floor without breaking it. a concrete floor is pretty hard to break and finally the riddle of the sphinx:what goes firstly on 4 legs next on 2 and lastly on 3. a man first u crawl on 4 (2 feet 2 hands) ,then on 2 when u grow up u learn to walk on 2 feet ,last u walk on 2 feet and a cane is the other foot ill try to think of some more riddles for next time.
Edited by rokester, Tuesday May 26 2009, 05:09 PM.
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ROKESTER | |
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| Rlin | Thursday May 28 2009, 05:15 PM Post #13 |
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o.o lolol old classics xP Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He he didnt have the guts. |
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I'm Rlin and RLin06 on Pawn Tactics Biography Name: Richard Lin Age: 12 City: NYC Birthday: 6696 School: George J. Ryan Middle School My Youtube channel click here Suscribe me click here Other: I like making videos, touritals, sites, robots, programming, and other stuff that has to do with computers. Contact Information Aim: Rlin11432 E-Mail: rlin11432@gmail.com Myspace Stats in Avatar, please put your stats in your signature or avatar as well. ![]() ![]() ~~~~~Other Info~~~~~ Clan site created on 3/1/09 by xNinjaManx Rlin acquired ownership of [RUN] on 3/1/09 | |
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| THEUNIMPORTANT | Monday Jun 22 2009, 10:34 AM Post #14 |
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Noob
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a guy walked into a bar, he said ouch |
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1:54 PM Jul 11