Silanus

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Silanus
Topic Started: Jun 16 2008, 08:26 PM (163 Views)
Silverstar	Jun 16 2008, 08:26 PM Post #1
Pencil Posts: 20 Group: Members Member #6 Joined: Jun 13, 2008	OK... more of a prologue than a story, but still... I wrote this for the school magazine last year. --------------------------------------------- Fish darted through the clear stream and swallows soared high in the blue sky. The sun shone down on the field, filling it with a warm, golden light. It was a beautiful day. Until the man arrived. The woman was standing in the centre of the field when he arrived, a loud crack echoing in the air to announce his presence, accompanied by the soft thud as a bird fell to the ground nearby. She looked across the stream and her eyes took him in. He was dressed in black with a tattoo of a thin snake on his neck. His hair was dark and his eyes were black and filled with malice and insanity. He slid the pistol back into its holster in one smooth, practised movement as he approached the stream. He waded through the knee deep water without hesitation and stopped in the middle to stoop and plunge a hand into the water, emerging with a large, thrashing fish. He sank his teeth into it as it gasped helplessly and spat the blood into the water, staining his mouth and chin. He threw the fish over his shoulder and continued, wading to the shore and walking towards the woman, clothes dripping and madness burning in his eyes. She stepped forwards as he reached her. "Silanus," she said, and giggled hysterically. "It has been too long." They embraced, her hair falling over his face. The field was silent. The birds had fled and even the stream seemed quieter. Silanus had returned.



Lykaios	Jun 17 2008, 03:01 PM Post #2
Administrator Posts: 671 Group: Admins Member #1 Joined: May 23, 2008	I liked this, it was sweet in its own way and I'd like to know where this goes, did you continue it? Your grammar was good and I couldn't see anything wrong with it. You could develop on the scene more though, where is this stream? I imagined it to be on the edge of a field but it's your story, and also what did the woman look like? Great start.
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