Viewing Single Post From: Eye of the Storm

Viewing Single Post From: Eye of the Storm
Lvl100Magikarp	Jun 13 2009, 01:33 AM
Crayon Posts: 7 Group: Members Member #36 Joined: Jun 7, 2009	Lykaios Jun 12 2009, 10:24 PM Some unpleasantries are better left untouched. This seems to break the flow of the poem. I'm not sure if you intended it to though, but I think it stands out more as a prose-sentence than as part of a poem, if that makes any sense. I think that one line is prose, and he just put it there at the end to sum up or reflect on the lines above, like a signature of sorts. This is an interesting poem. I'm not sure why, but I don't really like the first line in the second stanza. It might be the word "dire," but I don't know. I think I might understand the last stanza, but not the fidgeting with the neutrons bit. I like the "deflower" line. Edited by Lvl100Magikarp, Jun 13 2009, 01:34 AM.


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