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Cookie; New character
Topic Started: Apr 20 2010, 08:55 PM (285 Views)
KRD
Unregistered

Section I - you, the player

What you go by: KRDsonic

Gender: Male

Is this your first time RPing?(In general, Sonic, or otherwise): No. I usually RP with some friends in a chat box, Weirdo knows the people I RP with.

Romance, Yuri or Yaoi RP okay? Specify: I don't really care about romance, but I don't really have a problem with any forms of it.

How/When to Contact You: My AIM is KRDgardyan

Do you have any rules/preferences: Not really.

Sample Post (at least two descriptive paragraphs from a previous RP or made up on the spot, the more the better):

Cookie crept around the stone ruins, watching his every step to make sure he did not step on any bones of ancient soldiers in the mess hall. He examined the battleworn leather breastplate on display in the center of the table and saw a familiar pattern that he had seen years ago. Had he been here before?

He could not be sure, but he realized he had little time to ponder as he heard footsteps a few rooms behind him. In a panic, he darted off out into the courtyard, the last place he wanted to end up. Out here in the open he knew he was exposed in plain sight. Within a few seconds he saw the figure of a fox standing by the door he had previously exited. His heart began to race as the fox slowly neared in on him. "Was I careless? Could this be the end?" Cookie closed his eyes and prayed, and to his relief, he found himself in bed. "These nightmares seem to be getting too real lately," he said and dozed back off to sleep.


Section II - your character
Answer the following about your character. If you have a character image, include it with your application.
Posted Image

Name: Cookie

Nicknames/Alias: N/A

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Birthplace: N/A (Not because of any special event, simply because he never cared to ask or remember where he was born).

Residence: A 2-room wooden shack in a forest.

Occupation: N/A

Marital Status: Single

IQ: 140

Height: 2 feet, 11 in.

Weight: 59lbs

Species: Mouse

Alignment (hero/neutral/villain, or in-between): Neutral

Aspirations/Dreams: To start a band one day. He plays no instruments but wants to play bass guitar.

Fears: Foxes, cats, hawks, snakes, elevators.

Abilities/Skills: N/A

Special Abilities/Attacks: N/A He's not good at fighting.

Weakness: Can be emotional, bad habbit of overthinking things, being too trusting.

Likes: Cookies, quoting lines from songs, testing people's patience.

Dislikes: Having nothing to do, people abusing his friends, high-pitched loud noises, commitment.

Family and Friends: A mom, dad, and brother, none of which he's seen in 3 years.

Rivals: N/A

Enemies: N/A

Fur/Scale/Feather Color: White fur with a black muzzle and chest fur.

Skin Color (i.e. muzzle, arms): Pink,

Eye Color: Brown

Hair/Quill Style: Short hair, no special style.

Nose: Pink.

Ears: Pink on the inside.

Tail: Very short and spread out white fur covering it. Short enough that you can see the pink underneath it also.

Other bodily features: N/A

Any Piercings/Tattoos/Scars/Birthmarks?: N/A

Attire: Black gloves, brown slippers that he wears everywhere, a navy blue hoodie with a small light blue stain on the upper left side of it, and medium blue pants with a sky blue stripe down the sides.

Items/Weapons: N/A

Any vehicles?: N/A

Back Story: He is fairly calm and easy-going and very friendly. He rarely gets mad, but once he does, he'll go full throttle in a rage at whoever stirred him up. He usually appologises about this afterwards though, due to his good nature. He also chooses to be loyal to those he trusts to the extreme and will aid them in any way he can, even if they turn out to not be who he once thought they were.

As far as his actual background story goes, he was born and raised by his mother and father along with his older brother. They moved from town to town due to his mom's indecisiveness of what type of home she prefered, so Cookie doesn't remember much of where he lived in his early childhood. After his thirteenth birthday he left home to live on his own in his current home. Since then he's lived there peacefully, collecting his own food in the forest and using his resources to build whatever he needs.
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Game Moderator
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...victory. yay.
Read it over, and still don't feel that there is a good grasp of the dynamic of a Sonic character. This feels rushed, and forced. I still get some self-insert in the music (all three characters you mentioned have musical talents or aspirations) and they seem to be unenthusiastically stamped to be opposites for each of the questions.

Your grammar is certainly adequate, but I don't feel like we're quite level on what Sonic is about.

Thank you for your application and your time.
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KRD
Unregistered

Could you please give me some examples of what to change then?

The music part is self-insertion, yes, because it is something I know a lot about and can expand on. Like most people, I write better if I can have one common link with a character, and for this character that link is music. That's not the same for all of my characters though, just the few you've seen.

Also, my answers to the questions weren't meant to be opposites of the ones I answered for Volken. Volken was a pre-existing character that I had, and Cookie is based on my original Sonic fan character that I used in RPs. Both of their personalities come from where they were used. I made Cookie's personality and background story a bit vague due to not knowing anything about the layout of the RP, so it was to make him flexible with the RP.

Anyways, any ideas how to improve him to make him more Sonic-like? In past RPs I've done he fit in perfectly, but everyone has different interpretations, so I'm not quite sure what you're looking for.
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...victory. yay.
Well, essentially this is based on the video games. So I'm looking at attributes that would make him a good character for the games. I already explained some of it, and saw some improvement, but I'm just afraid it's not enough. For example, I thought it was very convenient for the character to be afraid of cats, hawks, and foxes when he is a mouse. And I wondered briefly if the height wasn't related to his species as well.. just because he is older than Sonic and yet as tall as an 11-to-12-year-old female in the series. The fact that both of your characters live in nature makes me wonder if you have this confused with Archie or SatAM.. I wouldn't have come to that conclusion if it weren't a pattern mixed with their more animal-like behavior. Plus, the way you had Volken emotionless and cold, and here you have an overemotional character.. it just seems forced.

As far as the music thing goes.. if you were making a book (not saying you are.. it's just an example), and all of your characters have central values associated with you (in this case, music), it doesn't make for a wide variety. I just get the same overall feel for each of your characters because there are some trademark similarities, and the rest feels like (to me, anyway), that you said one day, "I don't have an evil character. Let me make one of those. Okay, now, I want one that is a mouse."

If this had been your first application, I would feel it was more well-rounded, but comparing it to those previous, I don't.

Even if it was your first app, though, SEGA gameverse characters aren't all dressed up unless it's the echidna tribes (past tribal wear, which was likely associated with what human tribes were doing at the time and future Nocturne military uniform so they blend in well and look consistent, as with any military). And even Archie males often only wear shirts.
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KRD
Unregistered

Yeah a lot of the things with Cookie are species related. I do that self-consiously, sorry. I can change some of those parts so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. And he doesn't have to live in a forest either, like I said earlier though, I just did that since I don't know what the layout of the RP is so it's hard to tell where else I can make him live. And no, I don't have the games mixed up with the Archie comics because I've never read the Archie comics.

As for your 2nd arguement though, the 3 characters of mine you've seen are the only three that have anything to do with music, and I have nearly 40 characters. The only reason you are seeing similarities is because I'm wanting to RP as a certain type of character for this RP. I do have a wide variety of characters, which everyone I've RPed with in the past would be able to back me up on. Some examples would be one of my characters who's very timid and young, but swwet and loving and works as a male nurse in a hospital. Another is a character who has extremely bad luck and just wants to be left alone, yet something always seems to happen to him that sends him on an adventure. Or as a constrast, I have characters like Lee who is a real jerk, works as a director for making films and lives in a mansion and has the ability to teleport. And some other types of characters I have include a mercenary, an extremist of protecting nature, a stereotypical ganster with bad aim and an accient, a hyper-active chocolate-obsessed mouse, a 41-year old hawk, several various characters who could pass for random townspeople, etc. Most of these characters have very little to nothing in common with me, I just prefer to start of forum RPing, something I haven't done in a few years, with a character that I have something I can relate to so it'll be easier for me to get reaccustomed to how it all works.

Another reason why Cookie and Volken appear to have similar qualities is that Volken's personality was created as a mix between Cookie's personality and another character's personality that I used on a wolf RP site. You can call it unoriginal if you want, but Volken wasn't meant for RPs, he was just meant for a poem fanfic I wrote. And as for my 3rd character you've meantioned, Xari, he doesn't really have much in common with Cookie at all. He doesn't have any true interest in music either, there's only been about 1 RP I've done with him where he just happened to be amazing at playing an instrument, and that was for the comedy factor.

So yeah, mind if you give me a chance? My characters really do have a lot more to them than you're seeming to see.
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