| Stupid jokes | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 13 2008, 03:25 PM (110 Views) | |
| Lord Bane | Jun 13 2008, 03:25 PM Post #1 |
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Inquisitor
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A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to NY and on west to Yellowstone. They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance and finally the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard from the two scientists. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged with no sign of the missing men. They followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female and decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist because they feared an international incident. They killed the female animal and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian. One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means,don't you?" The other ranger responded, "Of course--the Czech is in the male." |
| You must not question. The answers would be too terrible to bear. For those who have seen, there is nothing but despair and endless struggle. Trust in the strong to lead you on the path of faith. Nothing can save you but your faith in Him on Terra. | |
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| Lord Bane | Jun 19 2008, 10:08 AM Post #2 |
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Inquisitor
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A guy comes off his shift at work and decides he wants a pint or two before he goes home. So he walks into the first pub he comes across and sits down at the bar. On the bar, there is a large jar full of money. When the barman brings him his pint, he asks him what the story with the jar is. Barman: "Well, see, we've got this little game going. You put 20 quid in the jar and then have to complete three tasks. If you make it, the money in the jar is yours to keep." The man smiles and says: "No, thanks, I'll give it a miss." After his second pint, curiosity gets the better of him and he calls the barman over again. "OK, so what are the three tasks?" he asks. Barman: "See that huge guy over in the corner? First task is you gotta knock him out with a single punch. Second tasks is, you gotta go out the back with these here pliers and pull the guard dog's bad tooth. Third, you see the old lady by the door?" - the old lady grins toothlessly and waves - "Well, you gotta lay here. Get those three things done and the money's yours." The guy just laughs and says: "No, I don't think so. just another pint, please." He has three more pints and all the time, his mind keeps wandering back to the money in the jar. It certainly seems to be quite a lot, could be, oh, 800 quid? He has two more pints, then suddenly calls out to the barman: "Fuckit! Wha'the hell. I give it a try." He lays down 20 quid on the bar, grabs the pliers, walks over to the huge man in the corner and without a word clubs him over the head with the pliers. The huge man goes down, laid out cold. The guy then goes out the back and, for the next twenty minutes, terrible screaming, growling and barking can be heard. Then, the man comes back in, his clothes ripped to shreds, his arms and face bitten and scratched. He looks around the bar with wild eyes and asks: "So where's this woman who needs her teeth pulled?" |
| You must not question. The answers would be too terrible to bear. For those who have seen, there is nothing but despair and endless struggle. Trust in the strong to lead you on the path of faith. Nothing can save you but your faith in Him on Terra. | |
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| NightWolf | Jun 23 2008, 02:19 PM Post #3 |
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Captain
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A Priest, a Rabi, and a Minister walk into a bar. What do they say? OW! |
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10:28 AM Jul 11