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| Topic Started: Feb 19 2009, 08:05 AM (147 Views) | |
| ? Anonymous User | Feb 19 2009, 08:05 AM Post #1 |
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Before I start, please don't guess who I am in this topic, I'm mainly posting this as anonymous because I don't want my real life friends and family to find out. Today at school, I was hanging out with three of my friends, when they made some discriminating remarks about gays. Being bi and disliking discrimination against those who don't deserve it, I asked them "what's wrong with being gay", cause I wanted to know if that was how they truly felt. And they were like, "What's right about being gay?". And I'm like, sh!t, these are some of my best friends, and they feel that way about gays? So, I talk some more to them, and they honestly believe that being gay is completely wrong. No-one knows I'm bi at the moment, apart from people on the net, and I was just about to tell one of my other friends, but I'm like, should I just carry on keeping quiet if the people I care about think that I'm fundamentally wrong? And should I keep on hanging around with these guys? Or what should I say to them? I mean, I can't just ditch them, I've known them for 6 years. Help? |
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| Sayf Udeen Ismaeel | Feb 19 2009, 08:15 AM Post #2 |
Icon by meagan_chelsea @ LJ
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Hmmm. "What's right about being gay?" just shows that they may be too immature to accept it.  Maybe not tell them for a bit, and wait for them to grow up. If they seem like they won't be getting any mature, maybe drop the bombshell and see how they react. Maybe the fact it's someone close to them may changed their attitude? Sorry if this wasn't very helpful.
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| ClocklessHours | Feb 20 2009, 09:56 PM Post #3 |
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You and your friends have different views on something that affects you personally. You need to decide if you're ok with that, which would mean you'd have to keep your sexual orientation a secret (and therefore, not be yourself), OR tell them that you're bi, and see what their reaction is. That reaction will tell you whether or not they're still your friends. It's a risky move, but you'd be honest with your friends AND with yourself, which is the most important thing. Hope this helps. Not an easy situation, I know. Edited by ClocklessHours, Feb 20 2009, 09:56 PM.
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| Hindsight | Feb 23 2009, 02:56 AM Post #4 |
Sea Change
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Some people put on an anti-gay fassad because it makes them feel more secure. Some of my friends were like that until my best friend told them that he was bi. Turns out that they're not so anti-gay at all. I think it's that some people so afraid of just being called gay that they don't even want to share their real opinions. |
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| zexxaar | Feb 27 2009, 09:19 PM Post #5 |
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What are your parents like about it? |
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| asiAnihc | Mar 4 2009, 05:22 AM Post #6 |
azn mafia
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Bah, I know I'm a little late on this, but I figured I'd *hopefully* contribute my thoughts on something like this. First, though I'm pretty sure you've realized this already, not everyone you meet, friends and family members included, will share the same opinions, beliefs, ideals, etc. that you do - and there's nothing wrong with that. That's what makes each human an original individual (whether or not that's really the case nowadays is for a different discussion, though). Like my father told me, "You're going to meet a bunch of assholes in life, whether in school, work, or wherever - there's no way around them. You're just going to have deal with them and their ways, even if that sometimes means faking a smile here and there." I remember we had a good laugh about this and all, but it's totally true. I mean, even my friends don't have the same opinions on these types of stuff. Sometimes, for example, we tend to argue about religion; some believe there is a God, others do not, and we share our thoughts, proof, etc. My friends and I, however, have learned to deal with one another and respect each others opinions. There is no right and wrong in these situations. So now, there are numerous ways in which you can handle this situation; but overall, it's best that you deal with these types of situations in a manner that is most comfortable to you. Of course, all this is easier said than done. I think the fact that they, as of now, are unaware of anyone close to them who is homosexual or bisexual makes it easier for them to voice their disapproval/dissent of such sexual preferences - mainly because they either probably have not seen other true perspectives first-hand or no one else is telling them otherwise/arguing against them. It's not entirely wrong to hang out with people who sometimes make blatantly ignorant statements, have certain prejudices, or possess blind and, once again, ignorant beliefs. It takes time and proper education to bring about necessary change - but even then, the change is unfortunately not always guaranteed. So it all depends on the people. If you feel as though they are respectful and open-minded enough, then hopefully revealing your sexual preferences to them will change the way they view others. If they're that great friends, they should ideally respect you for who you are, because to be honest, I see no harm in such sexual preferences. If you feel as though they are too narrow-minded, fearful, hateful, what-have-you, there are plenty of other people out there in the world who will accept you for who you are. Hope this helps a bit - and sorry if I sounded a little redundant; ~0022 on a school night. Should probably get some rest; will keep checking back, though 
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1:06 PM Dec 2
