asiAnihc

Dec 31 2008, 10:09 PM

Well, I think the fact that he is ignoring you signals the possibility that he might be ashamed, a little fearful, and even guilty. By ashamed, I mean, for example, you might have unintentionally done something that made him feel embarrassed or ashamed. Maybe it was something you said or revealed that he did not want to be said or revealed. By fearful, I mean fearful of confrontation, fearful of your reaction or what you might say, or fearful of the assumptions you may or may not have already made. Overall, he might generally feel guilty for what he is doing now. This may actually tie into another thing: his ignorance might also be a reaction of anger or resentment. He might be so angry or so resentful of a certain fact or event that he just wants to forget and push you out of his life.


When he stated you monopolize his time, he might mean that you're annoying him a bit too often, he might have convinced himself of the fact that you control him too much, etc. It could be something as simple as saying "Hi," to him everyday, or always expecting a response/reaction from a statement, question, proposal...

It seems like he's placing all the blame on you for these problems. He said, "YOU have lost the chance to stay friends, YOU should move on, and that YOU monopolize HIS time," did he not? Until you two figure it out (if and when that ever occurs), I personally think it would be safe to assume that both of you share some responsibility in this issue, but not ALL of it is either one of yours' fault.

I'm just throwing out some possibilities. Until you can actually get a serious conversation going, preferably in person, face-to-face, it will be extremely difficult figuring out what went wrong. But you need to ask yourself: is he really worth waiting and setting aside my time/resources? Has he been that great of a friend? Personally, I think I was in a similar situation as your friend (the whole ignoring ordeal), and to be honest, I just needed a lot of time to think things through and sort out everything. I would wait if you want/can, possibly push every now and then. That seemingly unnecessary nagging can help (you know, that get-it-done-so-that-you-can-stop-annoying-me type of thing).

I'd also be interested in seeing what others would say about this situation. If you want further responses, I would suggest posting a question on Yahoo! Answers if you haven't done so already (http://answers.yahoo.com/), under Family & Relationships --> Friends.

Hope this helped a bit

MissM.

Jan 1 2009, 12:53 AM

I asked him right out if I've done or said anything and he always says no.
When I first started noticing this I asked if everything was alright in his life and let him know I was there if he wanted to just vent or talk about it. Then just left it alone.
I'm not the confrontational type of person,I'll leave a situation if it gets too heated or people start yelling and after knowing me IRL for almost 2 years,he knows that's not what I'm looking for. We've been through far worse than this and we've always talked things over and just left it in the past.


We do have great convo's both online and offline and after almost 2 years it's just become habit to say hello and what's up.
I am sure I'm not innocent in whatever it that has caused him to do this,I'm not perfect. I just wish he'd tell me what it is or was that I did or said so I can at least have a clue and defend myself before it gets worse.
He is a great friend,he's been there for alot......when my brother is a jerk he lets me vent. When my daughter was in the hospital a few weeks ago he listened and came to the hospital to sit with us and a whole host of things and has never asked for anything in return but I always gave him my time and listened when he needed me to.

Good friends in real life are just so hard to come by and I really want to make sure that I'm not screwing up by just giving up.