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Tension Spark; Comic by Lienx (Linkz World)
Topic Started: April 6, 2008, 10:10 pm (707 Views)
Lienx
Cocoa Puff
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/Linkzworldnet/001.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/Linkzworldnet/002.png

Comments, Suggestions, Criticism.. appreciated.
Edited by Lienx, April 6, 2008, 10:11 pm.
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cottonball6065
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Grammar check much?
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User Number Eight
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You mean "punctuation".

Anyhow, I say that the comic seems to skip some parts of the storyline, as if it had skipped away 5 minutes each time. Many storyline creators get into this habit, so it is understandable. The spriting was good, at least. And the texting, too. One of the better looking sprite comics, just needs a little punctuating and a bit of storyline practice, that's all.
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Lienx
Cocoa Puff
cottonball6065
April 7, 2008, 2:52 am
Grammar check much?
Sarcasm much?


Anyway.. yea I know my grammar and punctuation isn't perfect.. I spent a lot of time on each background to make it look really good and the reason I "sped" through the storyline was to keep it with as much action or worth reading material so it would actually be worth reading.. my older comics had a lot of talking and stuff and it just seemed boring.
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chaoman45

I'll have to agree with Tub- ...PaulKim. It seems kind of like the story runs together somewhat, but I'm sure it will come along if you decide to continue, it will turn out fine.
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User Number Eight
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What Cowman said. I think it is a good start on a comic series.
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chaoman45

PaulKim
April 7, 2008, 4:46 am
What Cowman said. I think it is a good start on a comic series.
COWman? Huh... that's new. :ermm: who knows, maybe one day you could link it to SD...
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Lienx
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# 3..
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chaoman45

Some of the words in panel 4 look cut-off...
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Lienx
Cocoa Puff
Really? how so?
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chaoman45

It just seems like the bottom of Line 1 in the Bounty Hunter's text is slightly cut-off...
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Lienx
Cocoa Puff
I think I see what you mean.. but in Frame 2, right where it says "Hide" the word Hide looks like its a bit cut off on the left part, but the rest seems ok ><
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chaoman45

Well... it's not a big issue. I was just pointing it out, that's all.
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Squeaky the Zepa
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Can I help you with something?
If I can give a small tip for writing stories Lienx, it's that don't ever, ever FORCE the story. Not every comic is going to be full of action/humor/awesome. That's one reason my old comic series was so terrible, I tried to make a joke or some super awesome hardcore event occur in every comic (...And, well, it was just terrible period, but yeah, let's not go there). Some segments SHOULD be calm and even casual to allow readers to identify with or learn more about characters, and other ones push the story along while others yet can reveal side-stories or exterior plot details (i.e. past events, foreshadowing, location cuts, etc). It's important if you want to make a good, interesting comic, or rather a story in any way, that you mix the actiony sequences with the exposition (explanatory), casual, and plot sequences. Just like ingredients in super awesome brownies, mixing those things together really well will make a super awesome story that the mind will be more than happy to devour (and probably want seconds, ;) )
Edited by Squeaky the Zepa, May 2, 2008, 11:05 am.
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chaoman45

Excellent tips, Squeaky. Do you think he'll read this though, considering how long he's been gone from here?
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