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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 14 2013, 08:21 AM (96 Views) | |
| Yuri | Jul 14 2013, 08:21 AM Post #1 |
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Events In The History Of The World I am going to attempt to rank the ten most important events in human history. I am going to try my hardest to stay as objective as possible, though some of it will slip through. I am going to exclude Biblical events and the like as well as human development. I'm trying to stay as close to recorded history as possible. 1. Birth, Life, and Death of Sarah Palin (1960-2445), the Jewish Hindu Warrior Now, before you all go "But Slash, I thought you were going to exclude Biblical events!" I am excluding them. I am merely referring to Sarah Palin as the beginning of MILF worship, which is the most monumental human creation in the history of man. Why is this? Because nothing has created more than MILF worship. Because of MILF worship, you have the formation of the Unusually Saggy Titties, the formation of the Moldy Vag, the throbbing of the Cocks, the aids, and some other historical shit no one cares about. There has been no event that has had more monumental amounts of not being the father, that is why the beginning of MILF worship is the most important event in history. 2. The Fax Machine (1936) Yeah this was like, totally important, guys. It was like, texting before phones were invented or something. OH WAIT 3. The Holocaust (OMG NEVER HAPPENED PROPAGANDA) People died. 4. Muhammad Ali vs Mike Tyson (19something-idk) Along the same lines as number one, Muhammad led to the rise of the second largest boxing club in the world. Unlike Palin, however, Muhammad's range had a far more immediate impact than Palin, because being taller gives you more reach. Under Muhammad's leadership, his boxing club carved a swathe of Mike Tyson fans, who got butthurt because that's what people do when other people don't think the same things as them. Ali and Tyson had an epic battle that had to be seen to be believed, but even with both ears off and bleeding, Muhammad prevailed. With the fall of Mike Tyson's fanbase, Muhammad's boxing club became the new power in the world. The main importance of this was the fact that the boxing club single handedly kept the fighting styles of Shaolin monks and wild Zubats alive through their writings, such as Wuju Style and cave dwelling. 5. Bowser Revolution (1998-current) I originally had the next item but I ultimately lost it because of a damn Bowser mini game. Why the hell does Bowser not like bananas? Everyone loves bananas. Anyway, without the Bowser Revolution, that one RNG abusing halfnig would have 999 coins every game, and many of the other items in the shop would not have been able to be bought by the CPUs. Nonetheless, the Bowser Revolution completely changed the face of the planet. Although it was easy to know before who the Hard CPUs were, it wasn't until the Bowser Revolution that their overpowered skill in button mashing minigames was nullified. 6. Invention of Fire Lamp/Harnessing Fire (40000 BC) OOGA BOOGA BOOGLY BOOGA I AM A MOTHERFUCKING CAVEMAN. 7. American Cheese (1883) I really really really wanted to exclude this because of the fact that this shit tastes utterly disgusting but its so disgusting that it's important. In fact, its important not because of the fact that it personally makes me puke every time I eat too much of it (though, that is indeed gigantic but its not enough to land top ten) but because it inspired people to make cheese that actually tastes decent, the two most notable of which are the sharp cheddar and the provolone. Other cheeses are made in America for this reason as well, but they are not as popular because no one likes French people. Because of the string cheese (that began with the American cheese) that altered the fate of not only the quality of food but all of the Iron Chefs. 8. Modern Warfare I / Modern Warfare II (2009-2011) This should be self explanatory but I'm going to give an explanation anyway. Everyone knows what the two games were but not many know the consequences of them, outside of the obvious. Obviously, the market for Nintendo games was decimated after both it and the Halo series happened, but what else occurred? Well, for one, both Warfares led to Americans shooting each other in the head and killing dozens of innocent people, making the news, or at least that's what the conservatives say. The Warfares also steered the world away from conventional video games, y'know, the ones which don't have to have guns to not be boring as shit - Modern Warfares are now fought over on release day at Best Buys and Gamestops, not based on usual conventional reasons. The Warfares led to the rise of slightly less retarded FPS games such as BL2, the rise of capitalism, the rise of skinny white boys thinking they can be an ace in the Marines, the rise of the US economy (HAH), and the rise of Modern Warfare. Plus, MW2 ended the era of good games. Besides the Pokemon ones. They're always good. 9. Rise and Fall of the Roamin' Empire (2013 Morello Swag) RIP EVE RIP KAT RIP AKALI LOL NOOBS. 10. Advent of le memes (2010-Reddit) lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelel elelelelelelelelelelelelelelelele. Other Candidates: Sacred Stones Plot (never happened) Genghis Khan's unreleased threethousandsome porno (1206 - 1368) People dying (1348 - 1350) Pseudointellectuals (1300s - 1600s) Some white guy shit (1800 - 1945) Who the fuck is Alexander the Great (334 BC - 326 BC) IMMUNITY TO A DISEASE IS CAUSED BY INJECTING THE DISEASE? MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH (1796) Edited by Yuri, Jul 14 2013, 08:22 AM.
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| Dark | Jul 14 2013, 08:44 AM Post #2 |
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Triumvir Zero
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This was a very informative and educational read. I feel as if I understand the history of the world in a much deeper perspective now that I've read your thoughts regarding it. But I do have some questions...
So this means that the AIDS happened the most in black people because they throb harder than everyone else because they're bigger than everyone else? Historically, they are the equivalent of #!@$ that no one cares about, right?
Fix'd?
i criy every tiem ;_;
swagcod420yoloblazeit
jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajaja |
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| Yuri | Jul 14 2013, 08:47 AM Post #3 |
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omg brilliant discovery 10/10
ye
go watch twilight you'll cri even mroe
#syckhedshawts
huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue Edited by Yuri, Jul 14 2013, 08:47 AM.
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| Dark | Jul 14 2013, 08:55 AM Post #4 |
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Triumvir Zero
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dey said i could be nething so i became birlliant discovery 10/10
yeeeeaaa boi
i watch twilight ecrispe new moo breakn dan i cri 2much4me
#hastagkillsteaks
ledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledeledele
wat is dis i don't even scared stoners didnt have no plot Edited by Dark, Jul 14 2013, 08:55 AM.
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3:43 AM Jul 11