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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 18 2011, 09:55 PM (1,014 Views) | |
| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:08 PM Post #21 |
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The Second Triumvir
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It was the night before Easter in Magvel, and Eirika, after a shower, joined her brother in their room holding her stuffed dog in her arms. "Happy Easter, brother" she whispered in his ear. Ephraim lay on the bed, wearing dark purple pajamas, and he gently turned to his sister, telling her to come closer. "Eirika" "Brother?" "Happy Easter to you, too" Eirika hopped on the bed and lay down next to Ephraim, and then she searched under the bed with her hand and then out she took a chocolate egg. Removing the red wrapping, she said to Ephraim, "this is for you, brother" and then she took a piece of chocolate and slowly moved it next to Ephraim's mouth. "I too have a gift for you, Eirika" "Brother, you have?" "Come closer" Eirika moved closer to Ephraim, so close she could feel his breath on her skin. "Closer" Eirika moved her head close to Ephraim's, so that he could whisper in her ear. And in her ear he whispered, and she first giggled, and then she turned red for the embarrassment, and then suddenly she said to her brother, "But, that's a TOS violation!" "That's not the only thing I'm violating tonight" "Brother?" And Ephraim's eyes were now so bright and scary! He looked at Eirika with a devilish grin on his face, and she moved back, a little, but she was too slow and he violently grabbed her left arm. "O, Oniisanka" "HA-HAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsu!" laughed the evil being as he tore away her pajamas with his clawed hand, and then he grabbed her legs and proceeded to violate the TOS, with the pope's blessings for he had no condom on his eleventh finger. "Atsu!! O, oniisan, yameroooo-!" "FUHAtsuHAtsuHAtsu, oresama no kono yubi ga makkani moeru! SHiyaININGU PINGAAAAAAAAASUtsu!" "U, UWAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatsu!" yelled Eirika in pain! And as her tormentor laughed maniacally, she had the feeling he was her sweet, caring brother no more! "A, anatawa..." "HAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsuHAtsu!" "UWAtsu! FO, FODESU! IYAaaaaatsu! FU, FUN, FODESUka! O, oniisan doko ka!!" But the evil Demon King did not answer, and went on torturing her, and on and on and on. "YAAAaaaa, ya, yamero! FU, FU, ZE, ZETO!" And, as to respond to her mistress' request, Seth hopped out from the inside of Eirika's plushie, and challenged Fomortiis with his long spear of cold metal! "FODESU, kakugotsu!" "Ore-sama no shinen, shinenzuuuu!" "FARUKON PANCHIiiiiiiiiitsu!" But Seth missed, and it was now the Enemy Phase. Fomortiis laughed, and summoned an army of minions, but as he ended his turn Eirika and Seth impaled him and destroyed his soul, along with his host's body. "Brother" cried out Eirika, sorrowfully hugging the corpse of her deceased twin brother. Seth then calmed her, and caressed her wet cheek with his hand, as he whispered sweet words of comfort in her ear. Eirika asked, "Seth?" But he had made up his mind already, and challenged her with his long spear of warm meat. |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:09 PM Post #22 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Ike departed Tellius, was crowned a God, and his soul was transferred to a special statue, to be enshrined in a special pantheon for all eternity, surrounded by other Gods who were likewise enshrined thanks to their great deeds, be it heroic or demonic, in life. Once there, the Gods would come alive in their statues, and then participate in such lively pastimes such as beating the living **** out of each other, breaking shiny balls, posing, collecting stickers and attaching them to their bodies, eating stuff, exploding into shiny light and reassembling elsewhere, defeating evil fakers who would try to take over their pantheon paradise, wandering from door-to-door in a confusing maze, and visiting each God's homeworld from their previous life just to beat each other up(and some civilian residents just to spice things up) some more. It is said that Ike enjoyed this new plane of existence. Gone were the irritating romantic advances of these petty beings called women. Or of men, come to think of it. Soren was certainly a weird friend. How bothersome, this thing called romance and love. Here, there was no such thing. Ike could beat any of his fellow Gods to a pulp, be it a man, woman, robot, diminutive rodent, dinosaur, dragon-turtle thingy, or oversized penguin with a goofy face. There was no remorse either, since all these Gods would willingly do the same to him in return. Endless fighting... Ike looked down upon the arena, and his new opponent, the man in blue spandex that wielded flame with his punches and kicks, and pronounced himself pleased. Very pleased indeed. He had found his Valhalla. |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:09 PM Post #23 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Original Topic Soren has updated his status: "Back in Crimea. Today, I tell Ike that I'm a Branded!" Ike wrote on Soren's wall. "What's a Branded?" Soren has updated his status: "Back in Crimea. Today, I tell Ike about the Daein-Crimea war." Ike wrote on Soren's wall. "Wait, what?" Soren has updated his activities to "stalking Ike." Aimee likes this post. Titania has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Titania as a friend. Mist has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Mist as a friend. Mordecai has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Mordecai as a friend. Soren has updated his status "Leave me alone!" Ike wrote on Soren's wall: "Soren, you have to play nice with your teammates." Soren wrote on Ike's wall. "Fine, if you say so." Soren has sent Volke a friend request. Volke has rejected Soren as a friend. Soren wrote on Ike's wall: "See? They don't like me either." Lethe likes this comment. Stefan has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Stefan as a friend. Stefan has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Stefan as a friend. Stefan has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Stefan as a friend. Stefan has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Stefan as a friend. Stefan has sent Soren a friend request. Soren has rejected Stefan as a friend. Soren has requested Nasir as a friend. Nasir has accepted Soren's friend request. Soren wrote on Nasir's wall: "I think you're a traitor" Nasir wrote on Soren's wall. ""no u" Soren is no longer friends with Nasir. |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:10 PM Post #24 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Eliwood would wait at the bus stop for 30 minutes and no longer. He couldn't just sit around hoping she'd come back. He had a life to live, and if he were to have lost her then he would simply have to cope with the game. The driving rain blew across the empty street in sheet, sweeping it clean of debris. But wrapped in his triple-layer poncho and resting comfortably in the the covered bus stop, Eliwood felt nothing. It was funny; both inside and out he felt the numbing cold of isolation, the downpour of rain that were his tears. He had felt both body and mind go numb. But as long as he lay in his covered bus stop, no, his sanctuary, he was free of these unpleasant feelings. THEN A SOUND. A sound that stirred all the emotions resting in Eliwood's heart and brought him isntantly to his feet. He couldn't decide how he should feel; his face was contorted into an amalgam of happiness and sadness, ectasy and depression, longing and lonliness. The long-awaited beams of headlights reflected off the droplets of rain hanging lazily in the air and peaked over the asphalt horizon. His bus was here. It was showtime. The bus stopped. Eliwood held his breath. The bus doors flapped open, spraying Eliwood with residual droplets rain. His heart raced. "Here it was..." "Eliwood!" His heart exploded with joy. She hurried down the steps of the bus to meer her lost lover. But she barely made it down the second step when SUDDENLY THE BUS TRANSFORMED INTO SPY ! "i was bus all along !" said spy as he backstabbed ninian and ran off. "DAMN YOU SPYYYYYYYYY" yelled eliwood to the heavens as he moaned his lost lover. |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:11 PM Post #25 |
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The Second Triumvir
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So, hey all. yeah. Just me. Stopping by, because, you know, I am a little concerned about something. Well, a little might be an understaement, but, hey, I don't wanna start any alarms or freak anyone out with my ALL CAPS BECAUSE WHAT I SAW IS VERY DISCOMFORTING. Anyway. I saw this earlier in the day when I was walking my dog. I walked her down by the lake, because the lake is really beautiful this time of year. I mean, have you looked at the lake? Beautiful. Anyway, I walked my dog down to the end of the dock, so we could get a better look at the lake, because it is so beautiful, and we like looking at all the boats. In fact, we saw a really nice boat hitched up to the dock. And, when I say nice boat, I mean nice boat. It was really nice. but, there was something about it that wasn't so nice... I saw Prissy and Raven get on that boat together. They got on that really nice boat. Together. You know, I thought it was great. I mean, seeing Prissy and Raven! Yeah. I was about to wave, say hi, all that stuff, but... I felt that something was wrong. That... Something on that nice boat was in fact not so nice. Guys, I am really concerned. I mean, I really got a bad feeling. There was something in Prissy's eyes... It didn't look good. And, where was Lucy? Isn't Lucy always with Raven? Anyways, I am still on the dock. I am posting this from my iPhone. Man, I wish I got better service out here. What do I do guys? I think something bad is about to go down. WHAT DO!?!? |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:11 PM Post #26 |
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The Second Triumvir
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O mighty goddess of the RNG Why dost thou despiseth me? For when my Soren levels up, you see, His magic stat increases pitifully In fact his magic has not increased once, certainly Despite the fact that he is 20/20 Well I cannot say that entirely truthfully, His magic stat did go up once when he classed up sagely Aside from that, this is my plea O mighty goddess of the RNG I ask thou again, why dost thou despitheth me? |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:11 PM Post #27 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Title: Ephraim and Innes rivalery. Author: Omarssikins As usual the two Prince/King rivals from Renais and Frelia kept going at it after their battle with the demon king hoping to find out who is the better man of the two. Ephraim: HAH! Innes: Damn it all! Ephraim: So what now, we're tied again. Innes: I don't know let's see if we can come up with something new. Tana and Eirika are a bit away and are talking and laughing; Ephraim smiles wickedly and heads over to Innes Ephraim:Hey Innes, I've got an Idea! Ephraim whispers the idea in Innes's ear Innes: ARE YOU MAD!?, we cannot do that with them! Ephraim: Only way we'll find out who is better. Innes: Gah fine, let's get them. Innes and Ephraim go talk to their sisters and try to get them involved Eirika & Tana: WHAT!?! Eirika: Onii-chan you know I'd do anything for you but that's not possible! Tana: I agree onii-chan and Ephraim-sama especially if we have to do it with our brother. Ephraim: Oh come on, we need to settle this already. Innes: Yes, I am sick of being equal to him. Eirika & Tana sigh, and reluctantly agree Tana: Onii-chan don't be so rough okay? Innes: Don't worry about just get into the position I showed you. *mounts Tana* Tana: Okay Eirika: Do I have to onii-chan? Ephraim: Yes, you owe me. Now bend over. *mounts Eirika* Innes: Okay let's get started. Ephraim: Yea. After preparation the stage is set to prove who is the better man! Innes & Ephraim: CHICKEN FIGHT!@!@!@! Eirika and Tana struggle to keep their brother's weight up and eventually collapse Innes: Hmm maybe we worked them too hard. ._. Ephraim: (scratching his head) Nah, I've done worse to her. ^_^" Innes: Err, So what now? Ephraim: Let's see who can carry them back to the castle the fastest? Innes: Victory shall yet be mine Ephraim! Ephraim: Tell that to my sister's butt! |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:12 PM Post #28 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Many of us are led to believe by intelligent system that Innes and Ephraim are rivals, that are out to prove their manlyness against each other in bouts of skill, well I say otherwise! Behold the truth behind the "rivalry." On a peaceful day at Magvel having defeated the Demon King and rebuilding their respective countries after the ravages of war, Eirika and Ephraim decide to go visit their friends in Frelia. Ephraim: It's been a while since we've had time to come see Innes and Tana hasn't it? Eirika: It has, hasn't it? Oh look there's the border! Isn't that Tana over there? Tana (shouting): Hey!!! (she runs up to them) It's been so long, I've started to miss you Ephraim. Ephraim (nervously): Uhhh. *chuckles* Where is Innes? I want to show him my shooting. Tana (angry): Oh! It's always Innes this, and Innes that! Eirika: Ignore him, let's go do some shopping at the market, Ephraim can head out to the castle alone if he wants. Ephraim heads out to the castle where he finds Innes doing some thrusting. Innes: So, how's your shooting this time around? Last time we went at it you were all over the place. As you can see my thrusting form is excellent. Ephraim: I can see that, but I bet I will still be on top. Innes: Is that what you think? Well how about you show me how well you can come off. Ephraim: My pleasure... After a few hours Eirika and Tana decide to go back after filling up two carts with clothes. Eirika: Did you see that dress! Tana: I know, but I just don't have the breasts for it. Do you think maybe that's why Ephraim isn't into me? Eirika (sighs): I doubt it, Ephraim... well Ephraim has always been into fighting, he says there's nothing better than the thrill of handling spears and clashing swords with other men. He's just well... trying to prove that he's the bigger man. Tana: Sounds just like my brother... *sigh* Oh well let's find them, I'm really hungry and dinner is soon! Ephraim: No you're not doing it right! That's not the spot, thrust harder! Innes: I can't do that, I don't have the moving space to do it. Ephraim: Oh please! Nothing but excuses, this is why I should be the one on top. Innes: Shut it, when you can't even aim it right yourself- I'd be covered in arrows if I let you shoot. Tana & Eirika walk in the room and find the two on the floor: Eirika: What's going on here! Tana: Oh they probably got attacked by a fire dragon like they did last time, they told me it burned their clothes off and flew off when I came in the room. Eirika: What? There was no Fire dragon in this game Tana, that was in Fire Emblem 7! Tana: Uhh, so they lied...? Eirika: *facepalm* Tana, you're an idiot. Ephraim and Innes: Can we get some privacy here, practicing our thrusts and shooting! |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:12 PM Post #29 |
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The Second Triumvir
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If Ike goes in the bar, then Soren will go in the bar as well. Just as Almedha kept following pelleas around when she thought he was her son, she'll be folowing Soren around, so she also goes into the bar. If she goes in, to ensure nothign goes wrong, Kurthnaga will go in the bar as well. If Kurthnaga goes in, then Gareth will fel compelled to go in as well. Soon, everybody but Dheginsea, Largo, and Calill are at the bar, because Largo and Calill are running their own bar, which uddenly lost all its customers, and Dehginsea won't go in because GOLDOA SHALL NOT MOVE!. However, Largo and Calill wage war on the other bar, which leads to the greatest bar fight known to man. Since everybody is in that bar, the entire continent is technically at war with Largo and Calill. We musn't fan the flames of war and ressurect the dark god, so Dheginsea will kill Largo and Calill. However, everybody in the other bar will have gone crazy and will kill everybody not in the bar, which is just Dheginsea. Dheginsea musn't fan the flames of strife, so though he hates to do it, Dheginsea will walk into the bar. Thus, GOLDOA HAS MOVED! |
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| Albino | Mar 18 2011, 10:12 PM Post #30 |
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The Second Triumvir
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Title: Gheb FAQ I have seen people around these boards asking questions relating to Gheb, and I can't help but feel sorry for them. Also some guy said there should be an FAQ on Gheb, so I have composed this FAQ of the basics to aid newcomers in the way of life that is Gheb. Contents 1) Who or what is Gheb? 2) How did this Gheb thing start? 3) What relation does Gheb have to this game in particular? 4) I just killed Gheb on my own, how is he awesome if he was that easy? 5) What is Gheb's relation with Amelia/Tana/any woman ever? 6) Why is Gheb so much better than me? 7) How can I worship/be more like Gheb? 8) Why are people denying Gheb's awesomeness? 9)There are too many topics about Gheb! 1) Who or what is Gheb? Unfortunately, this question is difficult to answer. There is much dispute over the true nature of Gheb. What we do know is that he is a being of infinite power, is amazingly schmexy, has some pretty big, thick, hairy, schmexy man legs, and is pretty much the best thing ever. 2) How did this Gheb thing start? Ah, gather round children, and we will tell the story of Gheb's creation. In the beginning, the universe was empty. And so at one point, God remarked "Why all I see here is an empty void, imagine the possibilities that lie in this space" and thus had decided to create the universe, but in case you have ever tried, creating a universe is much harder in practice than in theory. After many attempts, God found himself unable to complete this act alone. Thus he embarked on a quest to make a being even greater than himself. After much time (such time that we cannot even begin to understand, being mere mortals and bound by laws of our time and space) God finally created a being of immense wisdom, power and schmexiness. Thus, Gheb was born, and used his Sexy man legs to create the universe. Ever since, Gheb has been appearing throughout history in many different forms such as Ghebtilla the Hun and Gheebus Christ. Many of his names are warped and changed throughout history, but if you study facts hard enough, you will find him him behind almost every major event in history. 3) What relation does Gheb have to this game in particular? We have been graced with a projection of Gheb placed into chapter nine on Ephraim's path as the boss of Fort Rigwald. As such, it is agreed upon that this is the best chapter in the entire game and even in all of FE history, and very possibly life itself. 4) I just killed Gheb on my own, how is he awesome if he was that easy? This mystery has been plaguing the true believers since time immemorial. There are several different answers, but here are two of the most widely believed theories: The first examines two of the assumptions regarding "killing Gheb" and finds them to be false. Number one: that is not Gheb, that is a mere projection of Gheb that His Schmexiness has allowed to be placed into the game, and is only a mere idea of the true Gheb. Number two: You assume that you have killed Gheb, in fact all you have done is evoke so much pity that he allows you to pass through and continue your journey, being the great and merciful being that he is. And finally, every one of your characters is slightly blessed by the greatness that is Gheb, that is why they are able to take on such impossible odds and win, so it was Gheb's intention all along, so as to help you have fun because His Schmexiness is so great a guy. The second also concerns the identity of Gheb, but finds him to be something different altogether. It is no Gheb that you face, but it is, in reality, Gleb, a severely weakened version of the the almighty Gheb. In fact, developers have had to redo this game many times so as to sufficiently produce an authentic looking (to the untrained eye) Gleb, because if Gheb was placed in this game, it would become too hard for any mortal to ever accomplish. //////////LINE BREAK////////// 5) What is Gheb's relation with Amelia/Tana/any woman ever? There are many mistakes made about this topic. Many claim that Gheb intends to rape Amelia or Tana, but they are sorely mistaken. While Gheb is in fact excellent at such acts, his real intentions are to simply show a part of his schmexy man legs at which point any woman will instantly fall in love with him and get into his bed at the click of his large, masculine fingers. 6) Why is Gheb so much better than me? Do not be ashamed, for His Schmexiness is not just greater than you, but also greater than me, anyone you know, your dog, every animal that has ever existed, anybody that has ever been in existence, everything that has ever existed and even everything that has not yet or never will exist. 7) How can I worship/be more like Gheb? Being more like Gheb is not something that can be achieved, it is just mad skillz that you must be born with. Worshipping Gheb however is as easy as finding your local church of Gheb, there is one in every major city, and praying there every day. It is also advised to spread the word about him as much as possible, and even help us, the clergy of the church of Gheb, find new and interesting facts about him in history. 8) Why are people denying Gheb's awesomeness? For the same reason people marry their cousins or listen to Linkin Park, people are stupid and don't know any better. Do not fear, for one day His Schmexiness shall smite them. 9)There are too many topics about Gheb! Before you even think about saying this, you should understand more about Gheb. You do not know what you are dealing with, Gheb is not a fad, Gheb is not even a hobby. Gheb is a way of life, and you should respect that there are never too many topics about Gheb, and until there is nothing but Gheb topics everywhere, there will never be enough. I hope that I have cleared up a few things about Gheb, and I hope you have been converted into the Way of the Gheb. Spread the love. |
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