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Reilly Dessadrian; The Pyro
Topic Started: Aug 19 2011, 11:05 PM (598 Views)
Flayer
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Name: Reilly Dessadrian
Gender: Male
Age: 17
School: Alderbrook High School
Hobbies and Interests: Tennis, fireworks, graffiti, poker, setting things on fire, chess, photography, blowing things up, dubstep, and Fireball Tennis

Appearance: Reilly Dessadrian stands about an inch over six feet tall, plus a couple more for the Tyler Durden style he likes to spike his brown hair into. It doesn't look as cool as he hopes most of the time; maybe it's the fact that he wears glasses and has more than a few zits that upsets the look. His friends never get tired of telling him it's a miracle he hasn't burned his own head off by now with all the hair gel he uses. It looks like he’s tried it, though, because he has a burn-marked patch of skin on his chin that runs below his jawline. This scald resulted from a kitchen mishap involving a wet floor and a pan of bacon grease.

Reilly has kept lean through jogging and luck of the metabolic lottery, weighing in at around 160 pounds. Tennis has increased both his bicep size and his willingness to show it off at the slightest excuse. However, it's also made his right arm and wrist noticeably bulkier than his left, something that he finds a bit disconcerting and is trying to correct with dumbells. He has brown eyes behind glasses with transition lenses that shade over when he's outdoors. He had a bad case of snaggly teeth as a kid and is still wearing a retainer as the aftermath of years of orthodontists' work. He sunburns easily and rarely tans. His fingers and hands also sport little burns a lot of the time from "accidents."

Biography: Pyromania is by no means the core of his personality, but it's what he's most known for. When he's calling up his friends and there's nothing to do, "let's go burn some shit" is his "let's chill." Fascination with fire has been with him as long as he can remember. Reilly was that kid in elementary school who was out burning ants and paper with a magnifying glass. As he grew older, it became within his means to acquire matches and lighters and to sneak off on his own, so his fire-related activities escalated correspondingly. Something that perhaps helps explain Reilly’s obsession is his parents’ rather Luddite attitude towards technology. To this day, Reilly’s household does not have cable TV. His parents have never allowed him to have video games, and until this year, his only Internet access has been through a very slow dial-up connection. Going out and burning cardboard boxes or setting off fireworks has become a habitual way for him to fill his spare time.

Reilly has been able to get work as an assistant at the grade-school Science Camp for the last two summers because the camp’s director is a friend of his parents. Reilly dips into the camp’s surplus of model rocket parts and other useful materials to supply his incendiary needs. Despite being Canadian, he celebrates the 4th of July every year in one field or another by blowing up an RC car or something similar with the help of gasoline, match heads, rubber cement, and of course, an obscene amount of fireworks. Reilly also enjoys playing the game of Fireball Tennis with a couple of his more daring tennis buddies and the younger of his two older brothers, Kevin, when Kevin is on breaks from college. Fireball Tennis involves the ball being soaked in lighter fluid and ignited prior to play.

Poker is one of Reilly's less flammable interests (although he knows shredded cards burn so well). He and his group of friends have always enjoyed card games. He made the leap from poker for fun to poker for cash after he got the summer job at Science Camp. His parents forced him to deposit his money in the bank and strictly limited what he could spend it on. Reilly, not happy with the situation, began looking for other ways to get the spending money he wanted. He plays for money with friends a couple nights a week, and has gotten good enough through practice to come away a little richer on most nights. He also enjoys putting up graffiti in odd places around town. His favorite tags are John Dies at the End references, such as "YOUR DOOMED" and "I serve none but Korrok." Unlike his pyromania, Reilly keeps his graffiti a secret from all but a few close friends, preferring to see if people actually notice it on their own (and bonus points if they get the references). Graffiti that he finds clever is one of his favorite photography subjects, along with classic cars, his friends, and of course, fire and things that have fire on them.

In school, he is on the tennis team and boasts of being one of the only non-Asians. Tennis is the one sport he’s stuck with into high school, having dropped soccer, baseball, and cross country by the end of middle school. He kept on with tennis because it was his best sport and he had befriended many other tennis players. He is also a member of the chess club, where he is just as much of an oddball as you'd expect. Chess is a hobby shared by the entire male side of the Dessadrian household (that is, everyone but his mother). He's a good student, albeit with the utmost reluctance. His brothers set the standards of performance that his parents force upon him, in particular Martin, the oldest, who was a valedictorian, as well as president of the chess, speech, and French clubs. His parents basically write his schedule for him, putting him into the highest caliber of classes available. Reilly procrastinates and blows off as much of his work as possible, but the threat of punishment from his parents forces him to throw in just enough effort to get the minimal A.

Reilly dislikes what he sees as the popular kids at school and, because of the classes he's in, hangs around mostly with the smarter crowd. Although he considers them friends, he does get fed up with his group. He often gets bored at their parties, which are inevitably alcohol-free affairs revolving around cards and Super Smash Bros, perhaps with some Apples-to-Apples if it was a wild night. He also feels typecast as the pyro and that his friends often forget to take his feelings seriously. Also, most of them hate dubstep, and the others are the ones that ask, "What's dubstep?" If there's one thing Reilly's friends know him for besides fire and "techno-screamo" (their dismissive name for dubstep), it's being cheap. It's not that Reilly doesn't have money; he just does anything to avoid spending it. When he goes to a movie theater, he’ll fish a popcorn bucket from the trash and get a free "refill." On a less whimsical note, he also has a tendency to shoplift small things.

Reilly's penchant for troublemaking and firemaking have gotten into trouble more than once. He's been busted twice by the police for fires in public places (one of them a 4th of July escapade, where the "Come on, it's the 4th!" defense failed miserably) and also had an arrest for shoplifting from a 7/11, during which he was cuffed at the scene. He's also been disciplined at school for flicking a lighter on in class. All of these incidents resulted in harsh repercussions from his parents, who expect model behavior from him as they did with his brothers. The two fireworks incidents got him slap-on-the-wrist fines, but he was forced to do community service after his shoplifting arrest. His parents had him start seeing a guidance counselor after these infractions, but counseling hasn’t done much for Reilly because he thinks his parents are wrong and he doesn’t want to change. The lesson he’s taken is “Don’t get caught.” His parents are aware that he has a penchant for fire, but they don’t really know the full extent of it. They think it’s just teenage shenanigans he pulls once in a while when he’s bored. If they knew that it was more on the line of a hobby or even an obsession, they’d have certainly cracked down on it much harder.

Despite his lack of regard for physical dangers or risk of punishment, Reilly isn't so much of a daredevil when it comes to social risks. He generally keeps his feelings to himself and puts forth a no-worries attitude. He has a hard time with getting to know new people, and in particular, with talking to girls. Most of his friends that are girls are the type that are quieter and not so interested in dating. He has no problems hanging out with them, but when it comes to girls that he finds attractive, he loses his touch. He gets boring. He's taken girls to dances and stuff "as friends," but he really hasn't had a relationship that went very far. This situation frustrates him, but most of his friends think he just doesn't care.

Reilly's conflict with his parents has escalated since he went to middle school to become one of the main features of his life. Reilly's parents are very overbearing, although somewhat justifiably in his case. Their goal has always been to ensure that their children have Success in their lives. Martin, the valedictorian who is now working an internship in a law firm after passing the bar, has been the shining example they held their two younger sons up to. Kevin, who is now enrolled in McGill University, seems set for Success. Reilly, on the other hand, is a lost cause.

That's something they call him a lot, but they haven't actually given up. They confiscate every lighter of his they find, restrict his car use to school and work related activities, enforce a strict curfew, and ever since the shoplifting arrest, have taken to searching his pockets on entering and leaving the house. Reilly's learned to get around this by hiding things in the bushes in his front yard, something his parents haven't caught onto yet. Years of lying to them have honed his bullshitting skills. His parents know that he does this and gets around their restrictions on where he goes and what he does, so oftentimes they'll flatly deny him permission to leave the house at all when they think he's up to something, and make up some chore for him to do. To Reilly, this seems arbitrary and unfair. Reilly's looking forward to leaving for college after next year and escaping their iron grasp.

One medical problem Reilly has inherited from his father in addition to myopia is narcolepsy, although Reilly's has not yet been diagnosed. His parents believe he just has bad sleep habits and stays up too late. Reilly gets tired quickly, although he's usually fine if he's moving and doing something. But whenever he sits down, he's liable to fall off to sleep at any second. This makes things like books and movies a struggle for him without some stimulants in his system. It even affects him while he's driving, so he always keeps a Diet Coke or an energy drink on hand in the car.

In fact, he relies on caffeine to get through the day as a whole, school included. Dozing off in class is yet another of the things he's been berated for by his parents. They don't approve of his caffeine dependency and don't allow caffeinated drinks to be kept in the house at all. He's been forced to get "creative" by keeping them in a supposedly empty cooler in the corner of the garage and by hiding the cans in the bushes until there's a way to get rid of them without being spotted. Often, this means hauling a bag of empty cans into a friend's car for disposal elsewhere, because he has to get a ride most of the time when he's going out. He's had to explain this over and over again whenever someone new sees him do it.

Reilly started smoking about a month ago. A lot of people laughed it off as inevitable that Reilly the Pyro would begin smoking, but it was actually a shock to those who knew him more closely and thought he’d know better. Most of this friends have voiced their disapproval to him, but he hasn't paid them attention. He mostly smokes little cigars, and began smoking at the best moments of each day as a "celebratory" thing, although he's begun using them more often because it helps keep him awake. His parents haven't caught him yet, but it will happen sometime.

Advantages: Reilly is above average in height and in pretty good shape. He's got a strong swing and good hand-eye coordination from playing tennis, which could be especially helpful with the right weapon. His fire-making skills can serve him in survival and perhaps offense as well. He can lie and bluff well if it comes to a game of manipulation. Reilly's a bit of a daredevil and will readily take risks.
Disadvantages: Reilly's narcolepsy will be a major challenge for him throughout the game. He won't be in top shape physically or mentally when he's tired, and falling asleep in the wrong time and place could be fatal for him. The problem gets compounded when he runs out of caffeine or nicotine to go on, if he's actually even issued any to start with. He also wears glasses, and will be at a disadvantage if they are lost or broken.
Edited by Flayer, Aug 23 2011, 12:00 AM.
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Threads: Smoke on the Water --> Just a Quick Swim--> Tread Softly-->Tainted Love
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Casey the Undead
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Hey Flayer! Reilly's profile is temporarily DENIED pending a few changes.

Firstly, there should be a space between the Advantages and Disadvantages line. Reilly also needs a numerical weight.

The appearance section overall is fine, except for one bit.

Quote:
 
You'd think he'd tried it, though, because he has a burn-marked patch of skin on his chin that runs below his jawline.
The switch to second person messes up the tone of the profile. Take that part out, and you should be fine.

Now onto the Bio. Firstly, you mention all of Reilly's hobbies, but you don't mention how or why he got into any of them. Why does Reilly set things on fire? How and when did he start? His parents must know, if he's had run-ins with the police, so have they tried and gotten him help? You should do this with all the hobbies- dubstep, tennis, and poker as well. It helps flesh out the character if you tell us how and why he does the things he does.

You also mention that Reilly's gotten into trouble for what he does. A little more detail on this would be good. Has he gotten into legal trouble? Was he fined? He was cuffed on scene for a crime- did they try to bring him to trial? If the school's blamed him for pulling fire alarms, then he should have suffered much more serious ramifications than detentions- pulling a fire alarm usually leads to an expulsion. Has the school, or is parents, forced him into seeing a guidance counselor?

The bio also has a couple more issues with tone. Usually we look for a formal tone in Bios, so there can be some uniformity. Several parts of the bio lack the formal tone we're looking for, specifically

Quote:
 
"IT'S NOT TECHNO-SCREAMO IT'S FUCKING DUBSTEP!"),


Quote:
 
All of these incidents resulted in a shitstorm from his parents



Quote:
 
"You think he's gay?"

Which are sometimes met with something like:

"No, Reilly's just keeping himself pure for the day he meets a fire he can fuck."


Finally, there's these sentences
Quote:
 
His friends all said it was so [faux]-ironic that Reilly the Pyro would start smoking, inevitable really, but they it was actually a shock


Quote:
 
And along with a couple of his tennis buddies and the younger of his two older brothers, Kevin, when he's back from college, Reilly partakes in the Sport Canada-unsanctioned game of Fireball Tennis, in which the ball is soaked in lighter fluid and ignited prior to play.


I don't quite understand the meaning behind either sentence, and they could use a double check on the grammar for sure. If you could just clear that up, it would be great.

Try and take these ideas and make them into more formal, third person sentences, so the profile fits the format we're looking for that.

Make these changes and post when the profile is edited. Thanks!
Edited by Casey the Undead, Aug 20 2011, 05:04 AM.
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Flayer
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Thanks for the notes Casey, I'll have my revisions up tomorrow. Did get a little carried away, I'll try saving the humor for actual roleplaying.

I'm just replying now without an update because of an issue in the format. The other admins have been saying that the no space between advantages and disadvantages is the way it should be.

Keaka
Anton Chevalier
- With the profile template for Virtua-SOTF - there should be no spaces between the advantages and disadvantages sections.


KillerVole
Renee Murphy's Profile
First off, the template is a bit different for Virtua than it was for AUS. Specifically, no line should be skipped between Advantages and Disadvantages.
SOTF-TV
Axel Stadler
Status: Alive
Location: The Rain Forest
Weapons: Complete Team Rosters, Improvised Weapons (Sockful of Rocks, Scissor Blade Shiv)
Threads: Smoke on the Water --> Just a Quick Swim--> Tread Softly-->Tainted Love
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Attention, fans of being entertained. Read my comedy story, Camp Cheerful Bluejay, and comment, because I am a shameless attention whore.
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Casey the Undead
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Whoops! That's my fault. (Probably what I deserve for having the wrong template open when I critiqued you.)

Your format is fine, no need for the space. Sorry about that!
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All right, first round of edits are made.
SOTF-TV
Axel Stadler
Status: Alive
Location: The Rain Forest
Weapons: Complete Team Rosters, Improvised Weapons (Sockful of Rocks, Scissor Blade Shiv)
Threads: Smoke on the Water --> Just a Quick Swim--> Tread Softly-->Tainted Love
Posted Image


Attention, fans of being entertained. Read my comedy story, Camp Cheerful Bluejay, and comment, because I am a shameless attention whore.
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Casey the Undead
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Hey Flayer! Reilly's looking much better, but he's still DENIED pending a couple of small changes.

Firstly, there's just a couple of things that bother me in the profile. You mention that Reilly's gotten in trouble with police, but he still plays on the Tennis team. I don't, personally, know of any schools that would allow someone with a criminal past, or even a heavy detention record in the school, to play on the school team.

You also mention that Reilly's a pretty good student, but if he's constantly falling asleep in class, how does he keep up? Does he have to apply himself harder outside of class, or has he resorted to cheating and other means to get by?

I would also still like to know why Reilly decided to try out sports and pick up poker.

You also briefly mention Reilly's relationship with his brothers. I'd love a bit more expansion there, specifically on Martin. Does Reilly have any issues with his brothers, or is he mostly indifferent to the way he's held in their shadow?

Post when you have the edits up. Thanks!
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Casey the Undead
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This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the denied characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff.
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