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| Some currently nameless short story | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 9 2008, 04:04 PM (477 Views) | |
| Warlyte | Nov 24 2008, 12:45 PM Post #11 |
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Capsule J2
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Ouch. Bad situation there. It was a little confusing because you made the kingdoms' names sound too much the same and I had to go back and check that a few times. But hey, you made tactics interesting, congratulations. |
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SZM
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Nov 24 2008, 01:18 PM Post #12 |
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GRATE Aether!
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Well, they both have the same suffix and have related prefixes. I can't imagine either are going to be referenced for a while, and the problem will sort of solve itself. I might scribble a map soon. |
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SZM
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Nov 25 2008, 01:25 AM Post #13 |
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GRATE Aether!
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"Do you have anything you want to keep?" Baelegsa's eyes flickered open, but all he could see was a meaningless blur. He grunted quizzically. "I can't imagine you'd have too many fond memories here, but if you have anything you want now would be the time to get it." The world slowly came into focus, and Baelegsa saw Celnessa and Hruse pacing around his room. "... Is the war... over..." moaned Baelegsa, as his brain pounded. "I would expect you to have figured it out when that mage sent one of our soldiers back. I suppose you weren't quite collected enough to think it over. Your battle strategy convinced Aerdecer to try the same with their mages. They hadn't used them previously for a reason, and I cannot conceive what will become of this land in a few months' time." Celnessa continued talking as she walked over to the door, which had a vortex of air whirling around it. "What is that..." Baelegsa asked. "And what happened to me?" He coughed violently, and tasted a little blood in his throat. "It's a simple light-bending wind spell. I suppose you focus on fire, but it really is quite basic. I guess you're not in the best position to recognize things, though, particularly ones you refused to learn about. I knew this wouldn't end well, so I followed you to the battlefield, keeping myself invisible with a very similar spell to this." She spun the air around the doorway once more and paced back across the room. "I don't know what happened to you, but I would assume it's the reason why Galdre said inexperienced mages shouldn't overexert themselves. I don't even know what you did to that mage out there." Hruse added on: "Right now we're hiding. We mages were blamed for this loss, and the King is not happy. They already took away the rest of them. We're the only ones left, thanks to this spell." Hruse gestured towards the vortex. Baelegsa struggled and sat up in bed. "Well, I have no desire to remember this horrid place. Everyone but us seems to be a group of violent savages..." "Yes, it is a true shame everyone but you two saints is obsessed with violence... At least Hruse had the sense to admit I was right." "I... I... can't let this happen." poorly attempting to mask his fatigue, Baelegsa jumped out of his bed and walked toward the door. "I'll undo my mistake..." "It's no use now," sighed Celnessa. "There actually is a reason mages are traditionally defensive. It happened to us in the past, and you'd know it if you read any history books. Every so often, over this war or another, a mage boldly decides to use offensive magic to solve the problem. Some do it for personal glory, some are driven to it for revenge, and some simply assume they're the first to brainstorm up the brilliant idea of following the lead of those primitive warriors. If a mage charismatic enough succeeds with his idea, the other side of this war releases dangerous criminals who think the same, the war becomes far more deadly, the castles hate each other even more, and the next generation has the mages set back and the stick warriors just continue at it. Mages are so rare and this has been going on so long that we seem to be among the last. I suppose after this, mages will be considered flukes and brawn will reign supreme over rational thought..." "That doesn't make any sense", pointed out Hruse. "I honestly avoided those books as much as I could, but from what I remember there was always a fairly even amount of mages. There were at least a half-dozen of theirs, and if we really are the only legitimate fighters left..." "I know. It's too late. The cycle will end, and perhaps for once things will not settle out." Baelegsa sat back down. "I need to finish them off. I will refrain from interfering in these wars, no matter the punishment. I just want to minimize the violence..." Baelegsa clamped his eyes shut, and water glistened out the edges. Instantly after forming, they were torn apart and scattered. "Quit pitying yourself. You're one of the few people who was out on that battlefield that's likely to see another sunrise. You had plenty of time to recognize the error of your ways, and you corrupted it with your horrible ego. We were all hurt when Galdre died, and being ashamed to admit it clearly didn't help you!" Celnessa's eyelids filled with water as well. Hruse stepped between them. "... Both of you need to quit your squabbling. Baelegsa was extremely foolish and you're being irrational in a time like this. We have to escape, quickly, or we'll lose our only chance to fix this dilemma we've gotten int-" Hruse's sentence was cut off by the sound of an arm breaking through the vortex on the door. |
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SZM
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Nov 25 2008, 01:40 AM Post #14 |
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GRATE Aether!
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Wary my respect for you is rapidly increasing as I realize how long it takes to write parts in this format. Oh sure, in script format you get a million lines quickly just by spamming doublespace and having repetitive conversations, but I feel like I should be writing well and stuff here. :[ |
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| Warlyte | Nov 25 2008, 06:38 PM Post #15 |
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Capsule J2
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Well yours is clearly much more contemplated and edited. Plus did I mention that I write a fair amount of it while I'm supposed to be paying attention in school? xD |
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SZM
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Nov 26 2008, 02:07 AM Post #16 |
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GRATE Aether!
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The most editing I do is occasionally changing sentences if they look bad and trying to make the speech sound somewhat realistic for pseudomedievaltimes. But yeah if I took a more casual tone with this I'd probably do a lot more. I'm probably gonna do Pyro's adventure in regular format, and I have a feeling that'll go a little faster. |
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SZM
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Dec 19 2008, 03:44 AM Post #17 |
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GRATE Aether!
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The vortex covering the door faded out of existence as the arm of a guard broke through it. Upon breaching the illusion, his face contorted oddly, he pulled his arm back, and started yelling. Celnessa snapped back into reality, and in the next instant the mages reappeared in a gust of wind a few meters above the ground, with the castle about a kilometer in the distance. "... That was impossible." muttered Celnessa after righting herself. "What happened?" Hruse asked, rubbing himself where he fell. "I was just trying to get us out the window. I shouldn't have been able to warp that far, let alone a destination I couldn't see." "I cannot comprehend your teleportation in the first place, honestly. I suppose managing earth doesn't lend itself to that, just manipulating standard movement of large masses..." Hruse drifted off on a tangent, still woozy from the fall. "This is not time to discuss logistics." stated Baelegsa, gesturing towards a mass of people slowly approaching from the castle. After a second, he glanced away. Flame consumed the three, and they reappeared in a similar blast a fair distance away, nearing the woods that bordered the land. The group of people was scarcely visible on the horizon, and appeared to have stopped movement. "I wager I confused them enough to outlive their attention span, but I believe I should be able to move us considerably faster should they follow us. By the way, that teleportation was rather simple, and I can't say I feel particularly tired. I can see why you use it so much. Hopefully your orientation for multiple targets will improve with time." Baelegsa casually turned away and started walking towards the forest. Hruse blinked, looked around, and started following Baelegsa. Celnessa remained exactly where she landed, not turning back as the others left. After a few moments, she regained her posture and disappeared to reappear in front of Baelegsa. "I don't know how you can do that, but you shouldn't be able to. Besides that, had you gotten a little bit wrong, you could've burnt us all, done worse by incorrectly transporting us, or hundreds of other horrible things I can't even fathom." "I fear the things you cannot fathom are considerably broader than the range of things I would find displeasure in, so honestly the numbers catered more to me being in the right. Regardless, I believe I just proved I have more than enough skill to handle a few new techniques." "You could've killed us!" "Yes, as a quick release into the flame would be far more disastrous than allowing the superstitious commoners deal with us for their poor logical skills. Honestly, my tolerance for emotion dictating action is over. It has proved itself useless and at the moment I wish to get us out of danger." Celnessa continued walking along with Baelegsa and Hruse, but said nothing else. "Out of curiosity, where do you plan we go?" asked Hruse, as he watched his only home grow smaller and smaller. "I cannot say I have thought that far, but our solace among these warring castles has far expired.” "I've never heard of anyone going far into the woods, and what I have heard were tales of tragedy and madness." "Reflect upon the recent events. I cannot believe mages are not bringing more tragedies and causing more madness than anything else in this world, and whatever inhabits these woods will have to deal with the majority of them." Hruse had nothing to respond with as the three passed the first few trees scattering the beginning of the forest. |
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SZM
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Dec 19 2008, 03:44 AM Post #18 |
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GRATE Aether!
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This part was kind of short but it was also kind of (very) existant compared to my other recent ones. |
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SZM
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Jan 23 2009, 03:25 AM Post #19 |
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GRATE Aether!
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Bleh I know it's been over a month but I'm still going to finish Pyro's Adventure before this so that doesn't bother me anymore. In other news, I came up with last names for the main characters. Baelegsa Adfyr (Bay-legs-uh Add-fir) Celnessa Awiella (Sell-ness-uh Ah-wee-el-uh) Hruse Stanhryg (Hroose Stan-rig) I feel retarded for having the pronouncing that way but honestly I don't feel like learning how you actually show long/short vowels and I doubt anyone else knows them so whatevs, I proclaim. Since my horribly flawed system is horribly flawed, the A in Awiella is "Aaa", not "Ahh". I have long since forgot if that means it's short or long or upside down. Hruse rhymes with Bruce. |
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SZM
8:01 PM Jul 10