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| Application review thread; Read the first post. | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 10 2008, 02:03 AM (1,774 Views) | |
| ~Darthanis Galbraith~ | Jan 10 2008, 02:03 AM Post #1 |
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JBHZI81U812
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We have created this thread with one purpose in mind. That purpose is to give you a chance to have your applications or ideas reviewed by your peers. However, please keep some things in mind. 1: This is NOT a valid application. ALL applications MUST be PMed to Aiko 2: No flaming! If we catch you flaming your post will be deleted and you will find yourself in the Principal's office. 3: Constructive Criticism and compliments are welcome. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and think "would I like it if this were said to me" before posting. If you decide to post "wow, nice" or "That idea sux!!1!" without any explanation, your post will be deleted. Were looking for depth and description here people! 4: It is at the discretion of the staff to pass judgment on any reply deemed Rude, Useless or Spam .ect. Please follow this format when submitting a character profile. Name: Age: Weight: Height: Gender: Race: Species: Hair: Eyes: Skin: Occupation: Personality: Weapons/Skills: Short History: If its technology/other Please present your information in an orderly fashion. That aside, lets see those ideas! Edited by Darthanis Galbraith, Jan 10 2008, 02:09 AM.
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| ~Pie Boy~ | Feb 11 2008, 12:55 AM Post #2 |
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Don't Blink.
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Okay, guys. This is a species I've had around for a pretty long time, but I'm introducing them now because they'll probably come into effect soon in an RP. Give me some feedback. Name of Race: Cyriensis (Singular Cyrient) Homeworld: Cerenon, a moon of the gas giant Eluphi. Cerenon is mostly covered in ice and snow year-round, except for a thin stretch around the equator, which thaws in the summer, and the poles, which are too cold for moisture to form near. Physical Characteristics: The Cyriensis resemble huge, shaggy weasels in that their bodies are long and then. They typically locomote on four legs, but are perfectly capable of standing on two for long periods of time. They have a thick coat of long, shaggy fur, and a flexible shell on their backs. They have very long, sharp teeth and claws. History: The Cyriensis evolved from a predatory species that spread all over Cerenon and eventually became the top predator everywhere. They developed space travel and began to colonize other moons of Eluphi, and were beginning to look outside their system when a group of Kimean Rebels made a jump into their system looking for a home on Eluphi itself. The Rebels convinced many of the Cyriensis ilephi to let them stay on Eluphi, and also to fight against Greater Kimeo. The Cyriensis gradually began to trade with their neighbors more confidently and eventually came to spread outside of Known Space into the greater Galactic Federation. Their guerrilla war against Kimeo is considered a problem, but it doesn't stop the Federation from trading with them. Culture: The Cyriensis culture is heavily centered around ilephi, the clans (or "packs," which is probably a better approximation), huge extended families of Cyriensis who all share similar political views. There are between twenty-five and fifty major ilephi on Cerenon, depending on one's definition of major, each of which is subdivided into ven-ilephi and yan-ilephi as the family trees become more detailed. A ilephi affiliation defines a Cyrient's personality, and a lot of the Cyriensis social systems hinges on loyalty and devotion to one's ileph. The Cyriensis do not have nations as such; rather, each ileph has a separate territory which shares vague borders with ancestral hunting grounds the Cyriensis occupied when they were still a species of non-sapient predators. The Cyriensis are not typically religious. An old religion holds Eluphi as a goddess, a mother figure to watch over the race, and it still has a substantial following, but nobody reasonable believes much of its dogma anymore. Language: Cyriensis language consists of complex sequences of guttural growls and hisses, as well as howls - the species has a separate "hunting language" which mostly consists of howls, meant to be communicated over very long distances while tracking prey, and it has come to be used in combat as well, as it extremely hard for enemies to decipher. In closer situations, they also use very complex sequences of pheromones emitted by "scent glands" below their chin, which allow for much more nuanced discussion. Technology: The Cyriensis produce much of their power from wind on Cerenon - the coastal high-pressure zones produce incredibly high winds as air is sucked into the frigid low-pressure tundra. They also use nuclear fusion for reactors and generators on colonized worlds with lower wind speed. Their combat systems rely heavily on ion weapons, multi-missiles, and pulse lasers - anything that can keep hammering the enemy until it goes insane. Relations/Alliances: A blood pact with the Kimean Rebels. Notable Members: Wait for it! Edited by Pie Boy, Feb 11 2008, 01:00 AM.
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"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." -Walter Kovacs | |
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| +CEMP+ | Feb 13 2008, 01:36 PM Post #3 |
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SUPER SHELL BATTLE MODE 3!
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Ohhhh, this seems very interesting, and indefintely creative. I look foward to the rest of the information that you coming up for the members. On that note, this again reminds me of wanting to create a new profiles for the Akraidians, but i just don't have much time as of late. Plus, i'm working on other stuff at the moment. |
"To look for a shipwreck is at best a crapshoot, and to launch and fund a search, it helps to be the headmaster of the village idiot school or else the kind of stubborn lunatic who tries walk through walls simply because they're in the way. I probably fall in the latter group." - Clive Cussler, The Sea Hunters II![]() ![]() | |
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| ~Pie Boy~ | Feb 13 2008, 05:45 PM Post #4 |
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Don't Blink.
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Alright, this is getting moved to the appropriate discussion topic in Sci-Fi because I'm kind of a dumbass. Look for it there. |
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"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us." -Walter Kovacs | |
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| +CEMP+ | Feb 23 2008, 07:23 PM Post #5 |
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SUPER SHELL BATTLE MODE 3!
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I'm putting up this profile because, in truth, there are still some parts that are tentative, and i want to get an idea of what you guys think of the write up so far. This is basically my interpretation of the Scurge organisms. WARNING: It's nearly four pages long <.<
Edited by CEMP, Feb 23 2008, 07:23 PM.
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"To look for a shipwreck is at best a crapshoot, and to launch and fund a search, it helps to be the headmaster of the village idiot school or else the kind of stubborn lunatic who tries walk through walls simply because they're in the way. I probably fall in the latter group." - Clive Cussler, The Sea Hunters II![]() ![]() | |
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| ~Qualanx~ | Feb 28 2008, 01:23 PM Post #6 |
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The Ignored
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Name of Race: Shovan'O (or simply Shovan.) Homeworld: Shovah Prime (A planet-sized Dyson Sphere fragment that has a gravitational pull that has forced the fragment into a sphere shape.) Physical Characteristics: The Shovans are a species of nanomechanical entities created by a highly advanced species. They hardly resemble those who built them, and they also hardly resemble humans. They are some of the strangest looking sentients currently discovered by the Federation. Their 5 arms look a fair amount like a "Remorse" class turret. Head shape varies greatly and could go anywhere from an egglike metal orb with holes in it to a Pyramid Head-esque... Pyramid head. Their legs are but simple near-lines, although trying to break them is like trying to melt a pile of snow with icy water. They may look fragile and light but they are not. Their nanocells are made out of an incredibly durable self-repairing inorganic substance. They range anywhere from 5' to 13' in height. Their bodies are always proportionate. They will never have massive heads and small bodies and vice versa, and they will always have normal length arms and legs. History: The Shovan'O were created by the Gelm, a race so technologically advanced they likely found the universe constraining, so they disappeared. These mighty beings have been told by the Shovan'O to be at least 24' tall, and capable of ripping building out of the ground. Its no surprise a species as mighty as this created the Dyson Sphere that would eventually sustain damage in an interstellar projectile exchange. A massive chunk of the Dyson Sphere was destroyed, and the debris in one part was thick enough to form into a spherical shape. This shape became Shovah Prime, and seemed like the perfect place for the Gelm to put their newest creations. The Shovan'O eventually settled onto their new planet, complete with a silicon-based biosphere in which they were the dominant form of life. For a thousand years they were nudged to evolve into new forms in an attempt of the Gelm to create the perfect explorers and fighters. The Shovan'O then evolved to such a level that they had the ability to organize government. It was then, that they were introduced to the Wen, another young (at the time) species that were allied with the Gelm, even though the Wen hadn't quite moved out of gas-rifle technology and electron computers. The Wen and Shovan'O were allies for a great time (and apparently are still allies today) but were preoccupied with civil war at the time of the multiple sieges of Xakal. Civil war eventually escalated into conflict so intense that families were torn completely apart, with even father and mother taking different sides. Even adolescents and children were fighting with eachother, usually in armed conflict outside of schoolgrounds. A child not coming back to their dwelling because a classmate had killed them became a more-than-common occurance, and a dark age began. The Gelm were nowhere to be found to even try to break up this massive conflict, and the schism had also broken all previous alliances, except the alliance with the currently besieged Wen. After decades, possibly centuries of mindless fighting, an unstable democratic dictatorship (One individual is elected by the others to hold ALL power. No "bloodlines" or "political parties". The people choose an individual to be their absolute leader), but it was soon broken apart in favor of a monarchy, which was then disassembled and the planet went to anarchy. With no leading government, no authority, it seemed all was lost for the Shovan'O. Until, an extra-galactic message (of Gelm origin) somewhat the equivalent of the phrase "Your gunfire irritates me." Following this message, the Gelm deployed more artificial sentients in the sector to rule for the Shovan'O. But Anarchy continued, these groups were overthrown, and the whole schism on what form of government to be used erupted back into full power. At this time, a young "male" Shovan'O by the name of O'Zhord Z'volmonteg, had an idea that likely occurs to all species at one time or another. Revolutions need leaders. This thought wouldn't be put into effect for some time. After another decade of mindless fighting (and the destruction of a fair portion of the Dyson Sphere surrounding the star), an extremely unstable democracy formed. Until O'Zhord singlehandedly killed the president and hijacked the media broadcast and proclaimed that true freedom came with Communism. Shortly after this fiasco O'Zhord was exiled to the Orion Arm. Fighting continued, and communism did not take hold. Culture: The Shovan'O believe the Gelm to be gods. Well, who wouldn't? They can cross the universe in a matter of HOURS. They can dismantle entire filaments of galaxy clusters and reshape EVERYTHING in them however they see fit. They OWN the universe. Who WOULDN'T look up to the Gelm as gods? However the Gelm have left the universe, and may not return... Language: The Shovan'O speak a language that contains beeping and other digital noises. Its name is impronounceable, as are nearly half of its words. They can speak Galactic Common more than fluently. Technology: The Shovan'O are near Chozo or Luminoth level of advancement, but not there quite yet. They aren't quite capable of intergalactic travel, but can get around more than easily in the Milky Way. Very fond of quantum computers, disrupting weapons, and other nanomechanical entities. Relations/Alliances: None. Despite being near Chozo/Luminoth technological advancement the majority of the Shovan population is currently in a massive multi-sided schism over what form of government should be selected next. One group wants a monarchy, another wants a dictatorship, another wants worldwide communism (the largest group with the largest support is communist), and others want still different forms. This massive war has prevented any bonds with other species from forming. In fact, this massive conflict has deterred other species from approaching Shovah Prime. At least, new species. The Shovan'O have been allies with the Wen for millenia. Notable Members: O'Zhord "Djehuti" Z'volmonteg, revolutionary exile. I'm posting this here to see what you guys think of the Shovan'O and if I should introduce them into something sometime. Also don't worry about the Gelm; I highly doubt more than 3 of them will ever appear. |
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| ~beflexor~ | Mar 2 2008, 11:39 AM Post #7 |
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I just _____ in the _____.
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Well, I'm not much of a reveiwer, but here I go! Typically if you simplify a name (from Shovan'O to just Shovan) it's usually much longer to need the shortened version in the first place. It's all a matter of syllables and prounciation really. I have no idea of what a Dyson Sphere is, but I do know it's something technical and potentially awsome. So two thumbs up on it ![]() I'm not entirely clear on what they look like, are they some kind of metal insect? I like the fact that they seem to be warring even to this day. Too many races are sunshine and lollipops with their own kind. Why did the Glem create the Shovan? You don't have to explain it in the profile but, if it's something you haven't thought of yet, then you might want to for future storyline purposes. I really like this idea Qualanx and I'd like to see where you go with it
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Ceiling Cat is watching you... | |
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| ~Qualanx~ | Mar 2 2008, 02:23 PM Post #8 |
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The Ignored
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Well a Dyson Sphere is a massive shell around a star built to gather energy from it. They are HUGE. Also I drew Djehuti and posted it on DeviantART. And I put a link to it in his bio. But they can look radically different from Djehuti. The only guidelines really are that they have two spindly legs that end in points, 5 arms, a disk or sphereical torso, and are generally thin. Other than that, they can look pretty much like anything. Go wild in their appearance. |
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| ~Darthanis Galbraith~ | Mar 2 2008, 02:51 PM Post #9 |
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JBHZI81U812
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Would not a broken Dyson sphere collapse? Seeing the ammount of force being exerted on the shell, I believe a broken dyson sphere might be useless. Also, how long would a dyson sphere last being subject to warfare? You might wanna bum some info off these dudes, http://www.nada.kth.se/~asa/dysonFAQ.html Edited by Darthanis Galbraith, Mar 2 2008, 03:02 PM.
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| ~Qualanx~ | Mar 2 2008, 02:54 PM Post #10 |
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The Ignored
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True, the remainder of the sphere is useless. But it has remained mostly spherical due to the immense enginuity of the species who created it. But, Shovah Prime sits in a massive hole in the derelict piece of stellar engineering. The things that made the sphere are long gone anyways. |
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