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Got Funny?
Topic Started: Jan 9 2008, 09:23 PM (14,028 Views)
~Alkarii~
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Soul Eater
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Aiko's gonna kill me for this, but it's so weird and goofy that I've got to share it.

I smacked a pigeon with a litter scoop more than once.

Now that that part is out of the way, let me explain. I was having a bad day at work last night (Wednesday), and when I went outside to get the cigarette butts out of the ashtrays, there was this fatass pigeon sitting on one of the tables just staring at me. I gave it a poke with the scoop to try and scare it off, but it just stood there tilting its head. Nervous, I gave him a few move pokes, because I was half expecting it to turn into a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock film. Nothing happened. So, I smacked him with the scoop, and he lost balance and started fluttering his wings, but other than that, he just stood there. I was still really pissed at this point, and that damn bird was REALLY asking for a beatdown almighty. I smacked him again, and he hopped to the next table, which was touching the one he was on. Growling pretty loudly, I took a step towards him and smacked him again, which only causes more fluttering. He didn't hop down until I moved to put the trashcan on the table so I could smack him again, then he hopped off into the bushes when I went to chase him.

Stupid pigeon...
Since my liver is larger than my heart, does that mean I'm designed to drink more and care less?
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+Aiko+
Roffel House!

Wuahahaha! That's awesome! Pigeon got what was coming to it, for sure!

You should ask EP and others of my fainting turkey hunting story. It's pretty funny too. ^_^
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~Deadly Aim~
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Deadeye '17, eager to move on from the slow-motion train wreck that was last year.
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
In light of recent events, I thought I'd dredge this up from the past for a laugh.

THOUGHTS ON A THANKSGIVING NIGHT: (transcript from November 2007)

Quote:
 
kshransgait: *poak* HAPPY THANKSGIVING, DANGIT.
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: Happy Turkey Day to you too
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: dude, we have a new vech... ^v^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: Flexor FINALLY posted in CTA. And what is this... "vech" you refer to?
Silverwing: Pika-Mama bought a new car....
kshransgait: Oohz.
Silverwing: Puma calls it a scarab, Lupina calls it a tank, and Draco calls it a Scorpion
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: it's huge... O.o
kshransgait: Can I call it a Warthog?
Silverwing: uh, it's definitely bigger than a warthog
kshransgait: Elephant then?
Silverwing: hold on
Silverwing: lemme pull up a pic
Silverwing: http://1exoticcarrental.com/2007%20Escalade.jpg
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: Holy crap, mon! O.O
kshransgait: Niiiiiiiiiiice~
kshransgait: *!
Silverwing: I think I fell out TWICE getting off because I was still used to our mini van...
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: Know the feeling. Did that a few times when my mom got a ford explorer from a '96 dodge caravan. XD;
kshransgait: 2003 Explorer that is.
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: Things were INSANE at work.
Silverwing: oh?
Silverwing: Draco doesn't go in until Black Friday, and he's dreading it
kshransgait: Store was still packed like it was rush hour at 9:00 - AT NIGHT.
Silverwing: Oo
Silverwing: and here I thought being stuck in traffic while looking at the aftermath of the Pendelton fires was bad enough... >>
Silverwing: oh yeah, is B planning on bring back Gandrayda...? Oo
kshransgait: I dunnoes. And I just realized that the youngest hunter holds connections to Travis (he doesn't know it, though; He doesn't get to spend much time with Trisha, after all). Er.... is her character related to Trisha in any way? O.o
Silverwing: I think it's Enigma's kid
Silverwing: Even Kalos is having a little hard time with her character
kshransgait: So that means that would technically, by blood, make Travis an older sibling... *wonders if Enigma is aware of his ties to Trisha*
kshransgait: And she may not even know it?
Silverwing: I don't know...
Silverwing: hold on, lemme get Kalos in here... perhaps we can talk about this a little?
kshransgait: Sure.
<This chat is now a chat room session>
<Your current permission level for this room is "Power User">
<The room title is now "Silverwing">
<djchilllyphil(Kalos) (Power User) has entered the room>
kshransgait: Hallo big bird.
Kalos: aroo?
Silverwing: Anyone else also confused about B's intentions? Oo
kshransgait: Well, the only way to know would be to ask her to explain, but I can assist in anyway I can in that Travis holds direct blood ties to Trisha.... and possibly 'Flexor's new character...
kshransgait: In that. well.... Trisha and this kid have the same mother???
Silverwing: There's also the possibility of Kalos having a tie with B's character... >>
Silverwing: But this kid was Enigma's, wasn't it?
Silverwing: At least, that's what DJ said in one of the older RPs
Kalos: Lorrial is the child of Fae, Enigma
kshransgait: The cells used in creating Trisha came from Enigma and Travis' father (unknown to him and without any of his knowledge or conscent). Hence, Travis is by blood a sibling, or at least a... er.... fractional sibling... How would she hold ties to Kalos?
Kalos: read Birthday Girl
kshransgait: It's something she and I put together. You can ask her.
kshransgait: We did this years ago.
kshransgait: ... or did I miss your point completely, DJ? XD;
<atanoak(Silverwing) has left the room>
<atanoak(Silverwing) (Group Admin) has entered the room>
Silverwing: warg
Silverwing: Silverwing crashed... >>
kshransgait: *goes to read Birthday Girl*
kshransgait: And OH NOES!
kshransgait: Er... DJ, can you point out where this is in the RP? XD;
Silverwing: it's like towards the middle I think
kshransgait: Romance between a bird man and a cat woman? O.o
kshransgait:
Silverwing: ...............
* Silverwing snickers
Silverwing: Already bad enough that Kalos was thinking about pairing Kalos with Watawara Guardian Zephyia... XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: Kalos is 4 bird-pimp?
* Silverwing dies laughing
Kalos: ...
Kalos: XD
Silverwing: Hey, you told me that this morning... =P
kshransgait: KALOS: AWWWWW YEAHHHHHH ALL THE LADIES LUV MEH WHOOOOO!!!
Silverwing: XD
Kalos: I did not think it...it came to me in a dream....
Kalos: DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCE!
kshransgait: LIES!
kshransgait: YOU.... YOU..... YOU UH.... WELL, YOU YOUD!
Silverwing: O.o?
kshransgait: He did!
Kalos: ...?
Silverwing: he did what?
kshransgait: All your base are belong to us. All your lady are belong to Kalos. *is shot*
Kalos: XD
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: <- struck with 3 AM FEVER
Silverwing: Oh man, DA... XD
Silverwing: you know this is just ASKING for a doodle...
Silverwing: At DJ's expense...
Silverwing: XD
Kalos: oh god XD;;;
kshransgait: Give him a leopard hat and a cane with a hugearse gemstone on it! LOTS OF BLING!
Silverwing: it's sort of bad enough that Puma was thinking Kalos X Jessie... XD
kshransgait: *pictures a caption for doodle*
kshransgait: "Kalos: Chozo, Phazon addict, and MASTAH PIMP OF TEH RE-VERSE"
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: Shall I keep going?
Silverwing: if Deej doesn't mind a good laugh
Kalos: XD
* Silverwing poketh DA
Silverwing: lol
kshransgait: Give him the most overpriced, flamboyant suit out there! (and not flamboyant in the gay way) Make sure he has the shiniest car with the music blasting as loud as possible. What music? Who knows! He's a *FREAKING CHOZO*. FOr all we know, he listens to "Ye Olde Chozo Choir"!
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;;;;;
Silverwing: Come to think of it, what would a Chozo listen to...?
kshransgait: KALOS: *hiphop music starts to play as he breaks out into the beat* "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M PIMPIN' UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH I'M PIMPIN' UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH"
Silverwing: .............
* Silverwing tries not to laugh so loud since whole house is asleep
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: I have you busting a gut yet, DJ? Or anything that matter? It seems I've pushed the El-tee to "critical laughter".
Kalos: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention
kshransgait: *for that matter? *TYPO BAD SWAT SELF*
Kalos: XD
Silverwing: how can you NOT see that wall of text... XD
Kalos: playing Chromehounds
Silverwing: lol
kshransgait: But I made your bird-man "TEH MASTER PIMP OF RE", DANGIT!
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: He even has his own song!
kshransgait: KALOS: "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M PIMPIN' (AGAIN) UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH I'M PIMPIN' (AGAIN) UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH UNNNNNNNNNNNH"
kshransgait: End quote!
* Silverwing buries face into pillows
kshransgait: Sorry El-tee, I don't mean to torture, but it's just EXPLODING FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL AND IT YEARNS TO BE *HEARD*!
Silverwing: i swear, are you trying to make me wake up the rest of the house (Even though I live in the corner....)
kshransgait: That's pretty tight living space.
Silverwing: at least it's bigger than my dorm
kshransgait: What're we talkin', though, 8 by 8 feet?
Silverwing: room, or dorm?
kshransgait: Because corner implies something very smalll.
Silverwing: well, corner of the house plan
kshransgait: Ahh. Wasn't sure if you meant you live curled up in a ball somewhere in a corner. But I know better.
kshransgait: ;P
Silverwing: 10' x 12'?'
Silverwing: Might be smaller or bigger, but that's roughly my room
kshransgait: That's like a wooden block.... FOR PEOPLE.
kshransgait: Well, more like a wooden carton!
Silverwing: maybe 15'.....
Silverwing: I can't remember
Silverwing: I know we did a minor addition to my room
kshransgait: LATE NITE MATH IS GREAT.
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: three crazy people up late...
kshransgait: Kalos is out on a date....
kshransgait: With ENIGMA.
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
kshransgait: LA CUCARACHA LA CUCARACHA... DA really needs some mental help now!
Silverwing: XD;;;;;
* Silverwing throws ice water on the crazed DA
kshransgait: I AM *ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL* OVER THE PLACE.
kshransgait: *butts head against desk*
Silverwing: what you have, sugar? Caffiene?
kshransgait: No. Possible insomnia.
Silverwing: oh dear.. XD
Silverwing: sounds like me gonig crazy during finals week
Silverwing: trying 4 days of no sleep... X_x
kshransgait: I'm hitting the backspace button to hear the noise repeatedly. Is that bad?
Silverwing: but at least you won't have work tomorrow, right?
Silverwing: lol
kshransgait: Oh noes, I made her LOL. Now she's gonna be KEELED by awakened family. *hides in shame*
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: it's fine
Silverwing: pillows are my friends... especially Mr. Cuddles!!!!!!!!! =D
kshransgait: He must be SOFT. And WARM. And CUDDLY. And a good sound muffler! And meanwihile, I'm like Caboose!
Silverwing: why don't I whatck you a couple times with Mr. Cuddles then...? >=3
kshransgait: Will I be hypnotized?
kshransgait: Or scarred for life?
Silverwing: Eh... More like a bruise or a fabric/carpet burn if I hit fast/hard enough?
kshransgait: "FAL-CON PILLOW"?
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: *is sent flying by sparking fire-pillow* SOOOOOOOOO *SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFT!!! *dissapears as a star in the distance*
Silverwing: XD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Kalos: WHOO!
Silverwing: ?
kshransgait: WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY?
Silverwing: what Chozo do?
Kalos: My Rookie squad just beat a Legendary squad
Silverwing: lol
Silverwing: if you didn't read anything, scroll up...
Silverwing: XD
Kalos: ...
Kalos: wow
Silverwing: lol
kshransgait: AWHEEHEEHEE.
Silverwing: DA is sooo out of it
Silverwing: XD
Kalos: blrrrrrrr
kshransgait: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Kalos: late
kshransgait: Yar.
Silverwing: omg... Puma's still awake...
Silverwing: XD
kshransgait: O.o
Kalos: ...
Silverwing: she's in her room, playing WC3 on her lappy...
Kalos: 3.....2.....yeah, 1 AM over there
kshransgait: Oh boy.... am I about to be laughed at by - ORC ORC ORC.
Silverwing: XD
Kalos: @_@
Silverwing: she stole my disks from my laptop bag
Silverwing: and now she's scurrying off to bed
Silverwing: I should probably do the same too...
kshransgait: *WHAP DJ* NO SQUIGGLY EYES! ALSO, STEALING IS 4 BAD.
Silverwing: lol
* Kalos falls onto bed, instantly falling asleep
Silverwing: it's like almost 4 for you two
Kalos: x_x
kshransgait: K.O.
Silverwing: XD
Silverwing: nighties to the Chozo
kshransgait: Annnnnnd I'm out. Logged.
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~Metamyth~
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BURMA
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I gotta post this. It's the words one person heard within the SSMB Theme Song's Latin lyrics...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUykUc8riBQ&feature=related

Hilarious.
"Nothing... a shadow is nothing. It is merely a question not yet answered. We only fear the dark if we have no means of lighting our way.

Death comes to all, Morningstar. The world turns, the dawn comes... and under the light of the sun I shall slay giants."


Dresden Codak, Dark Science
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+Aiko+
Roffel House!

Funny church signs!

The commentary is interesting as well for those of you who would like to read it. If you filter through the hate mail there's a lot of good philosophical questions raised.
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+Aiko+
Roffel House!

Apologies for the double post, but this is hilarious.

Minesweeper: The Movie
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~kies~
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Kilroy says hi
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Man,that was hilarious!I cracked up laughing after like the first three secounds,it's
just ironic to see games that you play without a secound glance
when you die,being so.....lethal.
Edited by kies, Aug 5 2008, 07:21 PM.
Just one of the many stages of self denial.

"TehRippeh:He's really fat too"
"TehRippeh:fatter than me"
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~Alkarii~
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Soul Eater
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Random strip from a webcomic

Y'all can thank Beffy for this one, since she provided the link in a post for "Joyous Light" in the Random RP discussion area.

Also, I want one of those guns. Might be good for getting rid of pigeons, no?

>_>

Don't look at me like that.
Since my liver is larger than my heart, does that mean I'm designed to drink more and care less?
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+CEMP+
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Clockwork Master

As soon as you mentioned B and "Joyous Light," I couldn't but help feel this was going to be something with GG written on it. Although I've already read it before, it still gives me a good laugh.

"Leedle recoil problem dere, sir!"

XD Good 'ol Jäegers (spl)
Edited by CEMP, Aug 11 2008, 01:59 PM.
"I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death."
— Monty Oum
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+Aiko+
Roffel House!

This is one of the oddest dance performances I've ever seen, but it's also very good.

Grieving Dead Magician Rabbits
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