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Real-life Rants; Vent here.
Topic Started: Jan 9 2008, 03:44 PM (22,234 Views)
~Qualanx~
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The Ignored
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I just realised that other than handing in assignments, I really have nothing to live for. I actually lead the most pointless and boring life out of anyone here. Nobody else to care about, nobody to care about you. Seriously, the only mood the people I know seem to like to see me in, is wanting to break their noses.

Now you guys are probably saying, "Go get some new friends". I would have done that ages ago if people had not chipped away at my self-esteem for at least three years, and were it a physical object, you'd likely need an electron microscope to see it. I'm afraid that someone that I happen to like a little will see some of the horrid jokes that people say about me, and when they do so, they will also laugh at me. And probably not in a good way, like when someone does something genuinely funny without knowing it. I mean, like people laugh at others when they get injured.

I should probably see a counsillor or something, but I don't feel like telling my problems to people who I've known for little time.

And I can't really tell my parents because my mother will fly into a rage about how I need to lighten up. And as far as I know, I am actually incapable of lightening up and taking jokes. I've tried, and it hasn't worked.

So now I either feel like injuring people, injuring myself, or just sleeping. None of those options will really help the situation.

And that would be my usual rant-about-everything-wrong-with-self.
Takeoff.
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+Lt. Jessie+
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Jibbering, Troublemaking Ball of Fluff

Really now, Qualanx, all this action for self-pity is really ridiculous.

You really need to go see a consoler or someone that will at least hear out your problems. At the rate you're going, the more you bottle it up, the worse the aftereffects of it will be. Trust me, I know that part all too well... >>;;; You really need to toughen up yourself and find some people to hang around with and get to know each other more, just talking and be yourself while rebuilding your self-esteem.

Try taking up a new hobby or something to release your pent up anger... <<;;;
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~Metamyth~
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BURMA
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Ouch... that's harsh, Q. (I think I'm gonna start calling you Q, by the way. :D)

Seriously, though, don't let them chip away at your self-esteem... that's probably just a sign of their own insecurity! The fact that they have nothing better to do with their own time than make fun of people shows that they're worthless. Worthless, filthy, meaty baggage that does absolutely nothing other than waste our oxygen and our living space. They shall be the first of the wretched ones to be sent to eternal peril by my undying conquest.

*Ahem.*

I really am sorry about the whole situation, though. I had that happen a lot in my 7th grade year of Middle School... according to one of my friends, I flew into a nearly uncontrollable rage and threw desks at the kid that started it while the teacher was out of the room. I don't really remember anything, so I'm just taking his word for it... but my point is that injuring yourself or others, as you said, really won't do anything to help the situation. I can honestly say that from complete experience.

Hope everything gets better though! Don't pay any attention to them if they keep making fun of you.
"Nothing... a shadow is nothing. It is merely a question not yet answered. We only fear the dark if we have no means of lighting our way.

Death comes to all, Morningstar. The world turns, the dawn comes... and under the light of the sun I shall slay giants."


Dresden Codak, Dark Science
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~Qualanx~
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The Ignored
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How am I asking others to pity me, Jessie? I'm just trying to vent. I've found that that helps me feel slightly better.

Also, me finding more people to hang out with and talk to would likely require more than 0.2 micrograms of Self-Esteem.
Takeoff.
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+CEMP+
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Clockwork Master

I think we've been over this quite a couple of times, but i think I'll make another say.

Self-pitying and your such behavior only helps to dig your own grave; it does nothing else in your life than destroy you from the inside. If you're aware of of your problems and self-esteem, then try to fix them; or as Jessie said, try to find a way build it back-up.

And don't let yourself drop to the ground when it seems "all hope is lost." I was a little like that today at one of my classes. I tend to be slightly ADD, and i don't always keep track of things; occaisonally, I'm left mind boggled. Today I was, as i needed to do some work and i just felt a teensey bit confused in what to do. I sort of bashed myself for not paying attention, but, thankfully, the teacher shed quite a bit of light on the situation when i asked him for help.

It just goes to show you just got to think of what resources and options you have before (Since i always fall back on the teacher for help); such as what kind of hobbies you can do that you enjoy. Also remember that you got us to help support you and even listen; unlike most of the people that you talk about.

Even still, it's usually good to seek out people in real-life. Like Jessie said, it might be best, at the very least, to see a counselor. Every person is quite capable of potential, and capable of building up such potential so long as they put their mind to it. If you feel like you have nothing to live for, that's because you haven't put enough thought in what you can, or what you want to do.

Anything that generally makes you happy, and as the Buddah once said, "There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way."
"I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death."
— Monty Oum
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~Qualanx~
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The Ignored
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Well I've figured out tons of ways to help boost my self-esteem and things like that.

The only thing is, if one of the methods does not work my self-esteem will be reduced to zero and I'll have to start over again from square one.

Also, the reason I say I have nothing to live for, is because there is nothing interesting to look forward to. No events I want to attend. No places I particularly want to go. No friends to hang out with (I do have friends, they just don't do anything).

So I should probably make new friends.
Takeoff.
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+Aiko+
Roffel House!

Qualanx, I kinda know what you're going through. In the past six years I've moved across three states (New York, Montana, and now Georgia). It's really rough pushing through a day when you know there's no family to go home to, no real friends that are looking out for you. It's like your security net is gone.

The key to self esteem is that security net. You need to build that net knot by knot, person by person, event by event, until it's strong enough that it's alright if a single strand gets cut, or a knot comes untied.

The internet has and continues to be my major safety net, as pathetic as it sounds on the surface. But really, think about it. On the net I have access to all my friends and relatives, regardless of distance. Even though they're not physically in my room, I can still call them and put them on speakers. It makes a big difference.

That scenario is a bit different than yours. To solve your real-world esteem and confidence problems, you need to get involved. I've found my passion with the Audubon Society, a national group dedicated to bird conservation and that has many local, small chapters. Through Audubon I can go outside and look for birds almost anytime I want with other people who have the same interests as me. Not only that, but it's free.

I also take martial arts. While I don't have any what I would consider close friends there, I do have several good friends. It's nice to get out of the house and do something physical. Martial arts has a very deep spiritual (non-religious) side to it as well and really helps direct your mental and physical energy. Granted, you'll have to pay money to attend, but it's well worth it. In cases of depression it's just as important to treat the body as it is the mind. Everything's connected, after all.

As for coming home to something important, I keep reptiles. They're low maintenance, easy to keep, and easy to feed, and each of them have their own unique personalities. It's nice to know that when all else fails, there are some creatures that depend on me.

So yeah, find a local group and get involved in something, anything. It makes a huge difference, and also makes you realize that the twerps at school have absolutely nothing on you at all.
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~Alkarii~
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Soul Eater
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This has nothing to do with today's discussion in this topic, but...

I passed out for no reason earlier. I got up to go to the bathroom, and as I was standing there, I felt dizzy, nauseated, and weak at about the same time that I finished. I leaned forward and put my hand on the wall behind the toilet for support, then I suddenly find myself on the floor, head hurting from where I hit things on the way down, glasses off, and with it still in my hand. It took me several seconds to realise I fell, and I came to hearing other stuff hitting the floor. I felt REALLY nauseated as I stood up and zipped my pants up, and I had to sit down for about ten seconds before the room stopped spinning and I could breathe normally.

Now, as for today's discussion, I'm gonna have to disagree with you when you said that the rest of us had interesting lives or something to look forward to. I currently have no job, no girlfriend (even though I don't really want a relationship), I live with my parents, can't drive, couldn't get into college, have a family that really pisses me off to the point that I wanna just leave and not tell them I'm leaving or where I'm going, and I've got an ulcer. Oh, and pretty much the only friends I have are here.

Anyway, once you graduate, you likely won't even see about 90% of those people again. I graduated in 06, and it was a class of more than 170. I've only seen about 11 people I went to school with since, and in most cases, it was just a quick chat or just a passing glance. Though, the good thing is that none of them were any of the people that gave me hell back then.
Since my liver is larger than my heart, does that mean I'm designed to drink more and care less?
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~Shin-Ra~
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The Other Guy
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You know, for most of my life I've been going through various schools and colleges, seen many people and encountered many teachers.

But for the first time, I met a teacher who is a real b******.

He spends the first several hours of our Film Studies lessons giving a doomsday speech about the volume of work we are going to have to do, the ridiculously high expectations he has of us and also the fact that he has been to China (don't ask.)

After his speech it took me a full three days to calm down and realize that we have only just started the subject and that even if he starts hurling an essay a day at us for work, the other subjects I'm doing will be relatively light for the time being.

Oh, and he also admitted that he spends the first couple of terms each year trying to throw as many people out of his classes as he can.

He’s by no means the worst teacher I’ve had (one I had in high school had a vendetta against me for some reason) but the first impressions were… less than promising.
Edited by Shin-Ra, Sep 14 2008, 05:32 AM.
"You can live forever or die trying."
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~kies~
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Kilroy says hi
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(I'm back from NH)

So after a month of no xbox we finally got a new one,for the third time........
Thankfully we got a completely new one instead of a problematic re-furbished one,good right? Unfortunately it's not,turns out the wireless assignment button is defective,and has completely no function whatsoever. For anyone who doesn't own an xbox360 it basically means this:half of our controllers are rendered completely useless,and we can't use the only other mic we have. So that limits us to one mic and one mic only,the other brand new one died two days after the warranty expired. Which took half of my birthday money to buy,and I have no income do to child labor laws. Oh,and did I mention that it just froze up again for the second time in ten minutes. So to put things simple,we're consoleless for another month or so for the fourth time running.
Edited by kies, Sep 14 2008, 06:19 PM.
Just one of the many stages of self denial.

"TehRippeh:He's really fat too"
"TehRippeh:fatter than me"
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