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| ~beflexor~ | Nov 6 2010, 12:44 PM Post #351 |
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I just _____ in the _____.
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Good heck, I feel like I've come up for air. I know it's been about two weeks since I've last been around. The initial week mainly being be puttering around being lazy, and the second week with me not even being here at all. I would apologize but, really, that starts to sound just plain dumb after the first three times. The reason for my absense is for several reasons really: I started my major in collage with my brother (all this time I've been getting my general requirements out of the way) and, despite my A grades, I'm actually failing. Microsoft Word is being an ass, and I have to wait a month before I can put it on my computer, so until then I'm dealing with Open Office, a program I have absoulutely no previous experience with and find frustration with in the fact that all of my writing is in the .docx format, which Open Office can't save as. Speaking of ass, I've actually found myself swearing a lot more than I used to this past year, and have decided to try and revert that. It hadn't been a problem until I started using harsher language without realizing it in front of people I don't normally swear in front of. Me and my family are still getting ready for winter...it's less Amish than it initially sounds. My brother, who's in the same major I am, is like a slave-driver for homework. While yes, I appreciate getting all of it out of the way to enjoy the weekend, I don't like smashing my face into a schoolbook for 3-4 hours with no breaks in between to the point of crying. My impending failure of school has my parents going nuts (as they always seem to do when it comes to being academic), since the one particular class I'm struggling in (friggin' binanary math, octets, IP addresses, ANDing, Cisco-) is a pass-fail final, one that I have to pass before I can even take a single class in the second semester. My brother is freaking out because he has no idea what he's going to do if I end up failing and he has to go it alone. The best way to describe how close we are is to pretty much imagine us as twins. My brother is a very stressed individual, which he often takes out on me. I'm normally pretty laid back but he starts to stress me out before long. I feel like I can't even take a dump unless it's specificually penned in on the school or parent or brother or homework schedule (yes, I have actually forgone taking a dump for an hour or two until the time is more convenient.) This was a major I didn't even want to be in, but it was that or nursing, which I really don't think I have the mindset for. My parents talk about how we're not a family of quitters, but they don't even think about the fact that I've been writing for 10 years now while some people who say they want to be writers haven't written more than a grocery list. All talk of me being a writer and getting published has totally vanished since I've started school again. When only a month before my dad was reading over my work, telling me he really felt like I could do it, and that I could be successful. If (when) I fail suddenly my mom's deciced I'm going to spend the spring working in a nursing home wiping old people's asses despite the fact that I actually have a phobia of old people. I think I would much rather try my hand at using the spring, when my brother is off at his second semester, getting some actual writing-career work done without him distracting me every hour of every God damn day. And, sorry for all the guys here to mention this, but my period is due any day now, and it seems like for ever day it's late (which can sometimes stretch into 3-4 weeks late) my stress increases tenfold. I'm feeling an itch of writing, yet at the same time I really have no idea of where to apply myself. It's at the point of a shotgun right now, where I only work on snippets here and there of everything I'm currently working on, which I'm worried is just going to make a huge mess of it. A two year old little girl in the area just got hit by a car and died. Yeah, little girls die all the time, but this one belonged to a doctor my parents work with. I'm not even sure I've even met the guy, but all of my parents work stories have practically turned him into a friend. I prayed for her and her family. I don't do that. Ever. My best friend (or, at least, the only non-family person I know well enough to call a best friend) has a new boyfriend who's about as interactable with as a chunk of wood. They stick together so closely it's rediculous, even if she's doing something like, walking across the room to get a drink of water. It makes hanging out with her awkward. I've had a long history of "friends" since I was really young who would only come over to play with our toys and our games. While she used to be pretty great about hanging out with us, this past month she's devolved into one of them. Only coming over for our internet access to play the MMO that her boyfriend is playing. Even now I'm kind of freaking out about posting this because I actually prefer my internet life and my personal life to remain separate. I'm not looking for sympathy, it's just that I feel that I've just been absent for long amounts of time these past 6 months (or more) and I've been perhaps too vague in my excuses. That makes it unclear as to what level of unavailability I am, and even when I am here, how much I'll be able to catch up on. Hence why this is in the Unavailability thread and not the Rants, I suppose. |
| Someone made the mistake of letting me publish a book, check Dusted Here! | |
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| +Aiko+ | Nov 6 2010, 01:17 PM Post #352 |
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Roffel House!
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Hey B, I understand what the academic life is completely. I almost failed organic chemistry as an undergraduate, and I basically memorized the textbook, chapter by chapter, and I was the only one who left the final exam giggling in insanity because the professor had taken example problems out of the textbook to see if we had actually used the textbook. I was the only one who aced the final, and it brought my grade up from a D to a C+ (and the entire class was based upon only 4 grades). Just keep at it. Don't let your parents and your brother stress you out. Keep in mind that in 20 years this exam means nothing. It really doesn't mean much now, other than you're following the ridiculous, strict rules of a flawed academic system. Do your best, that's all anybody can expect you to do. Study like hell, but stressing over it will make things worse, and make you physically ill (been there, done that). Take a deep breath, and take a day and go do something that's so physically and mentally demanding that you literally can't focus on anything else. Whitewater rafting, riding horses... anything that requires your complete attention will be the release that you need. Good luck, and if there's anything I can do to help out, just call me on Skype or shoot me a PM. |
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| +CEMP+ | Nov 6 2010, 10:00 PM Post #353 |
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Clockwork Master
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You're not the only one, B. I to am struggling with my first classes in university; hell, I had to drop two of them to keep up with the rest, though thankfully they're my pre-requisites. That said, I'm considering of swapping for a major in English literature than electrical engineering, and probably a creative writing class on the side. But I'd go with Aiko's advice as well. Stressing out too much isn't good, and putting 4 hours of study strait isn't a tactic I recommend. Two hours at the very least and then a nice break; try to pace yourself. You can only take in so much information at a time, and when you feel you've taken in a enough, take a break. Relax, but also try to do some excersise in between, much like Aiko said. After I've a lot of studying, I've always found jogging very refreshing; or at the very least a walk. Also, sometimes playing Audio Surf with the PUsher character pushes my mind mentally. That said, try not to let excuses get the better of you. Your mind might plead to you've done enough when you really haven't done much at all, and lucroius activities like video games absorb a lot more than you think or aware of. Try to be careful about playing them during short breaks in between long study sessions. In fact, during my long study hours, I like to either jog in during breaks, or play Audio Surf (the latter I have to be a little cautious of, as some times I'll to myself "Oh, just one more run); and then aftewards, when I've done a long stretch of hours (Like your 4 hours), reward yourself. Relax for real and just have fun on your or what not, knowing that gettings so absorb into it is no major problem. I'm certainly didn't do well on my mid-terms, but I'm studying hard to do well now. Even if you don't like some of the classes your in, but you can't get out of them, do your best to past them anyway. In fact, just do; trying usually leads to failure, as one of my teachers said. At the very least, you'll have the credit and extra option under your belt, and all of what I mentioned in the above paragraph is handy for studying such subjects. Maybe even find a way to make the study itself fun; add some music to your room. Hey, like Aiko, you can IM me on Skype or send me a PM; or me and Aiko can chat with you together in a three way on Skype ~.<. |
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"I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death." — Monty Oum | |
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| ~Jedi~ | Nov 7 2010, 12:45 PM Post #354 |
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One with the Force and Blade
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Make that a four-way, CEMP. I'd like to chat, too. Beffy, I know how you feel; really, I do. I'm not going to speak for Silver Fox, but I'm actually in the process of changing my major. From Biology, to Journalism, likely with a creative writing minor. Now, if you'd known me personally in RL, you'd know that this sounds crazy-bizarre. Why? Because, ever since I was 12, I've been going on and on about how I've wanted to be a doctor. Part of me still does, honestly; I love biological science, and I interned (unpaid) at a hospital this past summer. So, why am I changing? Simply put, I'm likely going to fail otherwise. It's like my friend's boyfriend said, when I mentioned to him that I'm swapping majors: "You don't come to Loyola to start Biology; you come to finish it." U. of Loyola is actually a very highly-rated "Pre-Med" / Biology major school. As such, a large percentage of the student body is rated to go into those fields. That ALSO said, the curriculum is incredibly demanding. I survived last year well enough, with mostly freshman-style classes: Bio 101 and 102, and the necessary Math courses (College Algebra and PreCalc). Now, I'm not much of a fan of math; this year, I'm in Calculus and treading water. Throw in Physics and Chemistry (the latter of which I dropped a few weeks ago) and a healthy dose of Italian, and I'm at a serious risk here. I'll likely be able to pull my ass out of the fire towards the end of the semester, but I can safely say right now that I won't be able to keep up with it next semester, or the classes in the next years (Organic Chemistry, Cell Biology, etc.) Why, then, Journalism? Silver Fox can tell you, but in High School I really got bitten by the bug. I was first a reporter, then the head co-anchor (for three years) of our high school's closed-circuit weekly news program. And, honestly, Journalism was the other half of the equation I was looking for when I looked at college. My advice to you, Beffy, has mostly already been said by Aiko and CEMP. Pace yourself, make sure you don't spend time freaking out that you could otherwise be used for whatnot. And, if it looks like you just can't do it? Follow my path: Talk to your councilor and parents about changing your major. Find something that interests you. It's your life; no need to have others telling you how you live or what to do with it. This is also, partially, a post as to where I've been (see above) and where I will be (also see above.) I have a quiz and two tests this next week. Fuck. |
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| ~beflexor~ | Nov 7 2010, 02:28 PM Post #355 |
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I just _____ in the _____.
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Thanks guys, I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday started out as a crap-heap, but got awesome about halfway through. I guess I really needed this weekend to unwind or something. Besides, even if I fail, I know things will work out. You're right about this exam meaning nothing 20 years from now, which has an added irony considering it'll be totally obsolete. Still, subnetting sucks. Also, again sorry for all the guys, but I did start my period today. I always tend to have a freak-out 24 hours just before it happens, and I guess you guys caught the flak from it, haha. Still, I swear I have bipolar tendancies, because I'm feeling great right now! (although I could go for some food) I've caught up on my postings, and by the time most of you read this, they should be up. I've also been wanting to make a general topic thread which I think I'm going to get started on right now. You guys are always so awesome, I would cook each and every one of you a pizza and muffins if I had the chance. |
| Someone made the mistake of letting me publish a book, check Dusted Here! | |
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| +Aiko+ | Nov 7 2010, 07:32 PM Post #356 |
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Roffel House!
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A pizza muffin, or a muffin pizza. I'm not sure which one sounds more awesome, lol! By the way, Jedi, those prerequisites are designed to be weeder courses. They're unnecessarily hard and often poorly taught. The first two years really tests your mettle as a college student. I'm a wildlife biologist now, getting my Ph.D. in a month (whee Dr. Lane!), and you wouldn't guess that I nearly failed organic chemistry, hated calculus, and didn't do spectacular in the weeder prerequisite courses I took at Cornell University. If you're happy with journalism that's great, but don't let mediocre grades and temporary stress chase you away from a biology degree either. |
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| ~The Silver Fox~ | Nov 9 2010, 02:32 AM Post #357 |
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Just your friendly neighborhood Section 2 agent!
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So, if anyone's wondering why I haven't been around much... Well, you al know by now that I'm a procrastinator. Well, it only keeps getting worse for me, it seems. I think I have what is essentially an addictive personality. That is, I can and very often WILL go on archive binges or the magical life-devouring clicking sprees that TVTropes encourages. It doesn't help that I have obligations for school going on all around me at the same time. For example, I've had an overdue essay breathing down my neck for the past three to four weeks, I can't even remember how long anymore, and now that I'm finally ready to turn it in, is the day our next essay is supposed to be due. And I've had to drop one class already, not due to not understanding the material, but to not DOING the material. Ultimately, the problem lies with me. I know I have potential. I know that if I apply myself, I can potentially get my academic standing back to how it was in high school and the first semseter last year. But, when my natural reaction to having free time near my computer is to automatically go looking for the next source of information about whatever has caught my interest most recently... So yeah, that's why I haven't been active lately. With a bit of encouragement, hopefully I'll be able to relax a little this weekend, pull myself away from the internet, and just write something again. I kinda miss writing, really. It just gets burried under my immediate instincts and the stresses of having homework to do. |
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Once, there was a maiden... ...whose tears of grief nearly drowned the world. So she tore out her heart, and made war against it. In victory, she sealed it in a locket, and trapped in a casting of bronze. "Such is the price of unguarded emotion," she said. | |
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| +Aiko+ | Nov 10 2010, 06:09 PM Post #358 |
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Roffel House!
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Not sure if this is a rant or a whoot, but I'm defending my dissertation day after tomorrow (Friday morning). I don't feel worried, but that might change once I get my dissertation edits back from my committee. I may or may not be around this weekend depending upon the results, but either way I fully intend to play Audiosurf at some point while under the influence of a high concentration of alcohol. It's the only time when operating a vehicle while intoxicated is legal. ;-) |
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| +CEMP+ | Nov 10 2010, 07:44 PM Post #359 |
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Clockwork Master
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Weeeeeeeeeeeee, drunk Vanessa on Audio Surf is like the Demoman in TF2; they both do better when drunk XD. |
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"I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavor to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve. It may not be immediate, and often your greater dreams is something you will not achieve within your own lifetime. The effort you put forth to anything transcends yourself, for there is no futility even in death." — Monty Oum | |
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| ~Jedi~ | Nov 11 2010, 01:19 AM Post #360 |
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One with the Force and Blade
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And me in Left 4 Dead. Seriously. Ask my friends. |
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