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Good job newblood. You've managed to go on longer than all my other hosts.
Wait, hold up. The Inquisitor is engaging a pack of Azurills that guard three Oran Berries.
Spoiler: click to toggle Pineco M Name: Shrapnel Level: 6 Ability: Sturdy Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 22/0/0 Atk: 12/0/0 Def: 15/8/0 Sp.Atk: 9/0/0 Sp.Def: 9/0/0 Spd: 6/0/5
Moves: Tackle 35 Power 95 Acc 35 PP
Protect 10 PP Negates attacks. Chance of success is halved each consecutive use.
Selfdestruct 200 Power 100 Acc 5 PP Hits every Pokemon on the field. When calculating damage, Defense is halved. KOes the user.
Level Speed: Medium Fast Total Exp: 282 Next Level: 343
Electrike F Name: Spara Level: 4 Ability: Static Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 17/0/0 Atk: 8/0/0 Def: 8/0/0 Sp.Atk: 10/0/0 Sp.Def: 8/0/0 Spd: 10/0/0
Moves: Tackle 35 Power 95 Acc 35 PP
Thunder Wave 100 Acc 20 PP Paralyzes opponent
Level Speed: Slow Total Exp: 80 Next Level: 156
Azurill M x10 Level 9 Ability: Thick Fat HP: 28 Atk: 8 Def: 12 S.Atk: 8 S.Def: 12 Spd: 8
It suddenly dawns on the Azurills that they have no offensive capabilities. This sends them into a panic, and they can do nothing but Splash about uselessly in this panic.
In the meantime, Spar(t)a Tackles one for 4 damage. Shrapnel bonks that same one for 5 damage.
Shrapnel+Spara: Unharmed Azurill 1: 19/28 HP Azurill 2-4: 28/28 HP
Oh, God, this will take 31 more rounds. Let's find something else to occupy our time while they do the same stuff.
Azurill 1: 10/28 HP Counter: 30
So, i herd you liek mudkipz?
Azurill 1: 1/28 HP Counter: 29
Ok, guess not. What about Seaking?
Azurill 1: -3/28 HP Azurill 2: 23/28 HP Counter: 28
You don't? FUCK YEAH! I never liked it anyways.
Azurill 2: 14/28 HP Counter: 27
"Pineco and Electrike were no match for the 6 Azurills as they were all KOd with multiple tackles"
Of course Azurill doesn't learn Tackle.
Azurill 2: 5/28 HP Counter: 26
Hmm...I know! Let's SING!
Azurill 2: 0/28 HP Azurill 3: 24/28 HP Counter: 25
Now, this is a story all about how
Azurill 3: 15/28 HP Counter: 24
My life got flipped-turned upside down
Azurill 3: 6/28 HP Counter: 23
And I'd like to take a minute, don't look so confused,
Azurill 3: 2/28 HP Azurill 4: 23/28 HP Counter: 22
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Not Used
Azurill 3: -2/28 HP Azurill 4: 18/28 HP Counter: 21
In Viridian Forest born and raised
Azurill 4: 9/28 HP Counter: 20
In the long grass was where I spent most of my days
Azurill 4: 0/28 HP Counter: 19
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
Azurill 5: 19/28 HP Counter: 18
And all shootin some T-bolts outside of school
Azurill 5: 10/28 HP Counter: 17
When a couple of Dugtrios, up to no good
Azurill 5: 1/28 HP Counter: 16
Startin' Earthquakin' in my neighborhood
Azurill 5: -3/28 HP Azurill 6: 23/28 HP Counter: 15
I got in one lil fight and Smogon got to choose
Azurill 6: 14/28 HP Counter: 14
Where I'd go - with Mothim and Beedrill to Not Used'
Azurill 6: 5/28 HP Counter: 13
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
Azurill 6: 0/28 HP Azurill 7: 24/28 HP Counter: 12
It had a Stunky in the front, and Seaking in the rear
Azurill 7: 15/28 HP Counter: 11
"Their typings are awful" I briefly mused
Azurill 7: 6/28 Counter: 10
But I thought 'Naw forget it' - 'Yo homes to Not Used'
Azurill 7: 2/28 HP Azurill 8: 23/28 HP Counter: 9
I arrived at NU, beaten by haters
Azurill 7: -2/28 HP Azurill 8: 18/28 HP Counter: 8
And I yelled to the Stunky 'Yo homes smell ya later'
Azurill 8: 9/28 HP Counter: 7
I looked at my kingdom, beaten and bruised
Azurill 8: 0/28 HP Counter: 6
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Not Used
Azurill 9: 19/28 HP Counter: 5
...crap. No more lyrics.
Azurill 9: 10/28 HP Counter: 4
Oh hey, the fight's almost over.
Azurill 9: 5/28 HP Azurill 10: 24/28 HP Counter: 3
Hmm. I don't think that counter is entirely accurate. Too much negative HP stuff.
Azurill 9: 0/28 HP Azurill 10: 20/28 HP Counter: 2
Yeah...Hey, did you like my singing voice?
Azurill 10: 11/28 HP Counter: 1
Be honest now, did you like it?
Azurill 10: 2/28 HP Counter: 0
No, really, did-
Azurill 10: -2/28 HP Counter: -1
Oh hey, the fight ended! Add 210 exp to both of them!
And The Inquisitor decides to rest again.
Was I really that bad?
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Alright, The Inquisitor is done resting. He noticed two of the berries got yoinked and-
What, you REALLY want to know what I am?
Well, you HAVE been the only host that last more than five minutes. I'll tell, but you better not engage him, because I want to see what happens to him, and I can't very well keep track of him if my host keeps running after he defeats him or her.
About a half a millennium ago, give or take a century, the ACTUAL Inquisition was in full swing. I happened to be a practicing heretic. Further elaboration is unnecessary and inefficient if you know your history.
What DOES need elaborating is how I got this way. I STILL have no idea how this happened, but it happened after I died. Basically, I'm a ghost now, with a couple of catches. First, I can't use that guy as my host. I wish I knew. Second, you know how ghosts in fiction move stuff around? Yeah, not me. Third, if I could make you do something, I wouldn't be telling you to hide in a bush. Summary: My unlife sucks. I've actually been following this guy around ever since he discarded his real name and started calling himself The Inquisitor. Call me petty, but that's pretty much the only thing I want to do. So yeah, if you want, you can leave now, and I'll find someone else to watch him from.
What, you'll let me stay? Really? Wow. That...that means a lot. Thanks.
Anyways, it looks like he's at it again. This time he found a guy with a Dunsparce. He has one of the berries, and now The Inquisitor is giving him a lecture on stealing while Titan is fighting.
Spoiler: click to toggle Beldum @Shell Bell Name: Titan Level: 11 Ability: Clear Body Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 30/0/5 Atk: 17/12/5 Def: 23/0/5 Sp.Atk: 13/0/5 Sp.Def: 18/0/5 Spd: 12/0/5
Moves: The Mighty Take Down 90 Power 85 Acc 20 PP 1/4 Recoil
Level Speed: Slow Total Exp: 1954 Next level: 2160
VS
Dunsparce M Level 10 Ability: Serene Grace HP: 40 Atk: 19 Def: 19 S.Atk: 18 S.Def: 18 Spd: 14
The Dunsparce suddenly flies into a blind rage, yelling and biting and would-be-kicking if snakes weren't banned from having legs. Seriously, he just stabbed his trainer in the leg with his tail drill before chucking himself at Titan for 3 damage. Titan responds with a Take Down worthy of a quarterback, inflicting 12 damage. This only made the Dunsparce angrier. Joy of joys.
Right, so here we are in round 2:
Titan: 25/30 HP Dunsparce: 28/40 HP, Attack+1
Ok, is that Dunsparce seriously drooling at the mouth? The thing needs to get checked for rabies. He leapt onto Titan's face...or whatever would count as his face, and bit down hard, inflicting 4 damage. Titan shakes about furiously, trying to get off the mad Dunsparce, before slamming itself and Dunsparce into a tree. Ouch.
Titan: 19/30 HP Dunsparce: 16/40 HP, Attack+2
This Dunsparce reminds me of some green superhero that gets stronger the angrier he gets, and for some reason, everyone insisted on making him mad. Except he was basically invulnerable. Dunsparce isn't, although he just grabbed a nearby Spinda in his mouth, spun around, and hurled it at Titan for 4 more damage. That's pretty impressive for such a small Pokemon. Titan returns the favor with an ironclad Take Down, and Dunsparce has probably lost whatever sanity he had.
Titan: 13/30 HP Dunsparce: 4/40 HP, Attack+3
With a bloodcurling screech, Dunsparce leaps onto Titan and drills it with his tail drill for 5 damage. Titan has had enough, and flings Dunsparce directly below it, rotates itself so the back of it is facing down, and slams down HARD on Dunsparce's back. I think his back broke. He's not going to be fighting anytime soon.
Titan: 8/30 HP
And so, Winzen is saved from the rampage of a rabid Dunsparce. The trainer recalls his Dunsparce, gives The Inquisitor 1000y, and limps off. Getting stabbed by a tail drill must hurt...
And Titan got 267 exp.
Anyways, The Inquisitor takes the berry that is rightfully his before spying the other berry being guarded by a Swablu.
Hmm. You know, an Altaria would be a nice addition to any team. It looks like The Inquisitor realizes that too, as he's going in to capture it. How can I tell? He'd use a Potion on Titan if he wanted to take it out, but here he's using Shrapnel. See?
Spoiler: click to toggle Pineco M Name: Shrapnel Level: 7 Ability: Sturdy Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 24/0/0 Atk: 14/0/0 Def: 17/10/0 Sp.Atk: 9/0/0 Sp.Def: 9/0/0 Spd: 7/0/0
Moves: Tackle 35 Power 95 Acc 35 PP
Protect 10 PP Negates attacks. Chance of success is halved each consecutive use.
Selfdestruct 200 Power 100 Acc 5 PP Hits every Pokemon on the field. When calculating damage, Defense is halved. KOes the user.
Level Speed: Medium Fast Total Exp: 492 Next Level: 512
Swablu F Name: Swablu Level: 6 Ability: Natural Cure Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 21/0/0 Atk: 9/0/0 Def: 12/0/0 Sp.Atk: 9/0/0 Sp.Def: 14/0/0 Spd: 11/0/0
Moves: Peck 35 Power 100 Acc 35 PP
Growl 100 Acc 40 PP Lowers all enemies' Attack one level.
Astonish 30 Power 100 Acc 15 PP 30% chance of flinching the opponent
Level Speed: Erratic Total Exp: 129 Next Level: 205
Swablu immediately went for an Astonish, to try to get Shrapnel to leave her alone. The 3 points of damage didn't dissuade Shrapnel from Tackling Swablu to the ground for 6 damage.
Shrapnel: 21/24 HP Swablu: 15/21 HP
Swablu attempted to get Shrapnel to leave her alone again, with another Astonish. It's rather peaceful, isn't it? Poor thing...Shrapnel almost feels sorry listening to The Inquisitor when he Tackles her again.
Shrapnel: 18/24 HP Swablu: 9/21 HP
Swablu started crying, sending Shrapnel into one hell of a guilt trip. The Inquisitor eventually captures Swablu, naming her Sorris.
After taking the Oran Berry, The Inquisitor decides to head to Sphariview City.
You think his Pokemon agree with him? I mean, Titan is probably loyal to the bitter end...but...
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Keep trailing him, he's not gonna stop.
...
Oh, shut up! I'm not psychic, how was I supposed to know that trainer was going to be there?
Spoiler: click to toggle Shellos M @Wide Lens Name: Sarhm Level: 12 Ability: Storm Drain Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 40/0/0 Atk: 16/0/0 Def: 16/0/0 Sp.Atk: 19/16/0 Sp.Def: 19/0/0 Spd: 13/0/0
Moves: Mud-slap 20 Power 100 Acc 10 PP Lowers enemy Accuracy on hit
Mud Cannon 125 Power 80 Acc 10 PP
Brine 65 Power 100 Acc 10 PP Doubles in power if opponent is below 50% HP
Level Speed: Medium Fast Total Exp: 1907 Next Level: 2197
VS
Dunsparce M x2 Level 10 Ability: Serene Grace HP: 40 Atk: 19 Def: 19 S.Atk: 18 S.Def: 18 Spd: 14
Aipom F x2 Level 10 Ability: Pick Up HP: 31 Atk: 19 Def: 16 S.Atk: 13 S.Def: 16 Spd: 22
Spinda M x2 Level 10 Ability: Failure Own Tempo HP: 32 Rest: 17
Huh. Sarhm to the fore, eh? Well, the first Dunsparce appears. You remember that rabid Dunsparce Titan had to put down? That was nasty, wasn't it? Anyhoo, Sarhm blasts Dunsparce with a mighty Mud Cannon. Half of Dunsparce's HP disappears in a huge cannonball of mud. This enrages the Dunsparce, and he flips out and stabs Sarhm with his tail drill for 7 damage.
Round 1 results?
Sarhm: 33/40 HP Dunsparce: 20/40 HP
Sarhm reloads, but the next Mud Cannon misses. Sloppy...if he used Brine, he could have KOed Dunsparce instantly. Dunsparce splashes like a Magikarp on Sarhm to tack on more damage, except not like a Magikarp and more like a...a...well, something heavier. Point is, he's inflicting damage with raw crazy.
Sarhm: 26/40 HP Dunsparce: 20/40 HP
This time, Sarhm lets loose with a Brine, washing away Dunsparce with a 31 damage hit. Good to see the region's maniac population has lost another round.
Oh. He has two.
Sarhm: 26/40 HP Dunsparce: 40/40 HP
Well, Sarhm takes deadly aim with his mouth and blasts Dunsparce with a Mud Cannon. Dunsparce freaks out, but more in the "oh crap what do I do" way and not the "YEARGHBLEBLEBLEBLE" way like the others, and curls up into a ball.
Sarhm: 26/40 HP Dunsparce: 20/40 HP, Def+1
Which makes Dunsparce a lovely target for Brine. Look at him roll...and roll...and roll...and roll...and bowl down all ten Azurills at the bottom. Strike!
And then an Aipom pops out of the trainer's Pokeball. I never liked Aipoms. Too sneaky when they couldn't do squat.
Sarhm: 26/40 HP Aipom: 31/31 HP
Looks like Aipom actually paid attention to the speed stats, unlike the Dunsparces, because she hits first with a Scratch for 10 damage. Sarhm retaliates with a Mud Cannon to the face for 22 damage. Oh, wow, look at her. She's spazzing out over having a bunch of mud in her face. Seriously, it's hilarious.
Sarhm: 16/40 HP Aipom: 9/31 HP
Not hilarious is how she takes her rage out on Sarhm with another nasty Scratch. Sarhm gets revenge in his typical fashion: Brine out of his mouth and into Aipom, who goes flying. At least she's clean.
Sarhm: 6/40 HP
At this point The Inquisitor tells Sarhm to come back. Sarhm initially refuses. Pretty full of himself, isn't he, with that Mud Cannon and Brine combo of his? Titan smashes its hands together menacingly, though, and Sarhm quickly complies. The Inquisitor sends out Spara.
Electrike F Name: Spara Lev-
No, wait, as soon as the second Aipom showed herself, he switched Spara out for Shrapnel.
Pineco M Name: Shrapnel Level: 11 Ability: Sturdy Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 32/0/0 Atk: 19/0/0 Def: 25/18/0 Sp.Atk: 12/0/0 Sp.Def: 12/0/0 Spd: 8/0/0
Moves: Tackle 35 Power 95 Acc 35 PP
Protect 10 PP Negates attacks. Chance of success is halved each consecutive use.
Selfdestruct 200 Power 100 Acc 5 PP Hits every Pokemon on the field. When calculating damage, Defense is halved. KOes the user.
Take Down 90 Power 85 Acc 20 PP 1/4 Recoil
Level Speed: Medium Fast Total Exp: 1524 Next Level: 1728
Typical. For some reason, merely being in a small part of battle grants you experience as if you fought in it. It's far beyond my ken. The Scratch meant for Spara hits Shrapnel instead, for 8 damage.
Shrapnel: 24/32 HP Aipom: 31/31 HP
Shrapnel gets hit by another Scratch, Aipom moving furiously to take down the slow but sturdy grenade before it explodes. Shrapnel's Take Down hits home, however, and Aipom loses focus. 16 damage tends to do that to you.
Shrapnel: 12/32 HP Aipom: 15/31 HP
Well, this went downhill fast for The Inquisitor. Aipom Scratches Shrapnel once again with her tail hand, but Shrapnel chucks himself at Aipom in another Take Down, holding back just enough to avoid knocking himself out.
Shrapnel: 1/32 HP
Spinda is sent out, and The Inquisitor switches Spara back in, only to switch out to Sorris immediately.
Swablu F Name: Sorris Level: 12 Ability: Natural Cure Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 32/0/0 Atk: 14/0/0 Def: 19/0/0 Sp.Atk: 14/0/0 Sp.Def: 23/12/0 Spd: 17/0/0
Moves: Growl 100 Acc 40 PP Lowers all enemies' Attack one level.
Sky Dart 50 Power 100 Acc 15 PP 20% chance of flinching the opponent
Sing 55 Acc 15 PP Puts opponent to sleep, in the non-lethal sense
Level Speed: Erratic Total Exp: 1117 Next Level: 1318
Spinda's Tackle hits Sorris instead and inflicts 9 damage. Now she's crying again. Aww...
Sorris: 23/32 HP Spinda: 32/32 HP
Sorris pauses, then suddenly dashes into Spinda, striking the thing square on the forehead with her beak, inflicting 11 damage. Spinda's retaliatory Tackle adds on more damage.
Sorris: 14/32 HP Spinda: 21/32 HP
Spinda acts first this time, and throws himself at Sorris again. The cotton bird is now choking back tears while Sky Darting into Spinda.
She's looking at The Inquisitor, as if she wants to switch out. I would too, if I was covered in bruises from something tackling me repeatedly. The Inquisitor only shakes his head, and Sorris starts to cry even more, saying in her native tongue what appears to be a plea to switch out. Still no dice.
Sorris: 5/32 HP Spinda: 10/32 HP
Spinda charges for another Tackle, but Sorris barely manages to get enough flight to manage enough of a divebomb to KO Spinda. That was cruel...
The trainer's last Pokemon, another Spinda, emerges. Spara is switched in, but switched out for Zion, the flame-spewing indestructible egg of doom.
Embegg F Name: Zion Level: 13 Ability: Flame Body Stat/Amount/EVs/DVs HP: 41/0/0 Atk: 18/0/0 Def: 23/0/0 Sp.Atk: 18/24/0 Sp.Def: 23/0/0 Spd: 12/0/0
Moves: Harden 30 PP Raises Defense 1 level
Tackle 35 Power 95 Acc 35 PP
Ember 40 Power 100 Acc 30 PP 10% chance of burn
Level Speed: Medium Slow Total Exp: 2383 Next Level: 2908
True to my description, Spinda's Tackle inflicts a mere 8 damage. A drop in the bucket for Zion.
Zion: 33/41 HP Spinda: 32/32 HP
Zion violently shoots Embers out of its shell into Spinda as retaliation for Spinda smashing Zion against a rock. (Critical!) Spinda suffers 12 damage from the intense heat, but Zion isn't looking too well. Getting smashed against a rock does that to you.
Zion: 17/41 HP Spinda: 20/32 HP
Spinda jumps on Zion from above. That proved foolish, as Zion shoved Embers out of every crack in its shell. That HAS to hurt.
Zion: 9/41 HP Spinda: 8/32 HP
Spinda tries to smash Zion against something hard again. While Spinda smashed Zion, Spinda didn't manage to stay conscious long enough to slam Zion into something hard. Intense heat does that to you.
Ok, I'll stop with that quip.
The trainer recalls Spinda, leaves 1000y, and beats feet. Sarhm gained 267+267+201=735 exp, Spara gained 100+91+91=282 exp, Shrapnel gained 100 exp, Sorris gained 91 exp, and Zion gained 91 exp.
Wow, that was intense. I think The Inquisitor is a little too reliant on Titan. He's setting up camp again. You did bring your tent, right?
Oh. Right. You wanted to hold out for the bombproof one. Well, find somewhere comfy to rest, then.
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