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Pokemon Squad! Good Night and Good Luck
Topic Started: Dec 30 2016, 07:35 PM (85 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
December 31st, 2016. 11:53 PM. The clock continued to tick down into the new year as everyone in the Mansion sat in a rather underwhelming party, anxious for the year to finally be over.

"I can't believe the world is almost 2017 years old!" Ash laughed.
"That's not how it works, Ash," Henry muttered as he sipped his Dr. Pepper.
"It sure will be nice for 2016 to come to an end," Misty said. "It was just such a bad year in so many ways."
"Yeah, but 2017 will be a new start!" Dawn replied. "No need to worry! I'm sure it'll be better!"
A snort came from the corner of the room. Everyone turned to see RM leaning against the wall cradling a wine glass, splashes of Dr. Pepper sloshing on the edges. He was dressed all in black except for a dark grey scarf, and was adorned with a black beret. MM stood next to him playing the saxophone.
"A new start indeed," RM sniffed. "An arbitrary point in the planet's orbit is all it really is. The start and end of any given year is nothing more than an artificial construction. The year is irrelevant, and 2017 will be no better than 2016." He sipped his Dr. Pepper. "If anything I can offer assurance it will be even worse."
"RM, is there a reason why you're even edgier and more bitter than usual?" June spat. "Even I'm not this (Nick jingle)ing bad. I'm just glad to get the (Nick jingle) out of 2016."
"Reason? I have plenty of reasons," RM replied with a grimace. "Every day these reasons are further legitimized. Humans are despicable scum. The fascist poster child for toxic capitalism can be elected president of the United States in this society. People refuse to save others from death just because of their own innate irrational fears and misconceptions. Hollow claims of equality echo, and yet only the economic elite are truly considered human in this society."
"The girl he wanted to ask out for a New Year's Eve date turned out to have a boyfriend already," Brock said.
"That also, yes." RM sipped his Dr. Pepper again.
"MM, why are you playing that thing?" Clemont asked. "And while lurking near RM no less."
"Let me have this," MM replied. "RM is paying me to play. That's not something that happens everyday. The least you can do is let me finish this song."
"Isn't that a saxophone arrangement of Snow Halation you're playing though?"
"RM doesn't realize that," MM hissed as he resumed playing his saxophone.


11:57 now. The atmosphere of the party wasn't any more exciting than before.
"You know, maybe we're looking at this the wrong way," Delia suggested. "Maybe we should think about the good things that happened to us in the past year instead of the bad ones!"
"That's so adorably naïve," RM chuckled as he sipped his Dr. Pepper.
"No, maybe she's right," May said. "And RM, you sort of had a point before too. It's just a year. And 2017 is just a year. There aren't really good or bad years all in all, just the things that happen in them."
"I got rejected again and again for the entirety of the year," Brock said. "But I suppose that happens every year. So you're kind of right."
"Hardly anything even happened to us this year though," June said. "That (Nick jingle)er RM was just too lazy to actually work on the god(Nick jingle) fanfic. He just couldn't juggle it with his other (Nick jingle)ing work and (Nick jingle)." She downed another bottle of beer.
"June, how many of those have you had tonight?" Henry asked.
"37. The same as the (Nick jingle) number of times that (Nick jingle)head RM skipped out on writing the (Nick jingle)ing fanfic to play god(Nick jingle) Pokemon Go."
"June, there's breaking the fourth wall, and then there's driving through the fourth wall in an 18-wheeler filled with lit dynamite at 88 miles per hour," MM said. "That was the latter."
"Well, anyway, let's think of the good times in the past year that happened that RM didn't write, I guess," Max said.
"Ooh, remember when June got breast implants?" Professor Oak laughed. "That was sure a good time!"
He then collapsed again on the couch and started to snore.
"Yeah, why did you give up on those?" Henry asked June. "Those were awesome! Especially on that weekend away!"
June punched Henry in the face.
"How about the time that (Nick jingle)er Barney got arrested for child abduction?" she laughed.
"Which one?" Gary laughed. "That loser got arrested for that like ten times!"
"What about when we all got superpowers because that pathetic experiment went wrong?" Paul chuckled. "You guys used yours pathetically."
"You're kidding, right?" Barry snapped. "I'll fine you for that! My use of my fining powers saved the economy!"
"And then it crashed immediately after," Henry muttered. "Ooh, what about when June had a head injury and was nice to everyone?"
"I'm going to (Nick jingle)ing murder you if you ever bring that up again," June hissed as she grabbed Henry's shirt collar. "Here's a (Nick jingle)ing good one. The metal band we started."
"We got chased out of town when we tried that and then were nearly executed on a guillotine with a bunch of other hated musicians," Brock said.
"Ooh, what about when RM entered that beauty pageant posing as a foreign princess?" MM laughed.
"Never bring that memory back to me again," Brock said flatly.
"What about when the family from the Family Circus stayed with us for a week? They were lovely!" Delia said cheerily.
"It was way more (Nick jingle)ing fun to drive them the (Nick jingle) out," June scoffed.
She glanced at the clock and realized it was past midnight now.
"Oh (Nick jingle). It's 2017."
"Happy birthday, Earth!" Ash laughed.
"Hm. Might as well go along with it," RM mumbled. "The passage of time is cruel. This will be another year of suffering for certain."
"Lighten up and you just might get a date," Brock said.
"Hasn't helped for you," RM retorted.

Happy New Year, and here's hoping 2017 isn't as hellish as it seems likely to be!
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