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Pokemon Squad! Episode 171; CrackZone
Topic Started: Apr 12 2015, 04:40 PM (54 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
Cruisin' on down High Street
You're relaxed and feeling good
Next thing that you know you're seein'
A purple pedo in the neighborhood!

Surfin' on a Stunfisk
Swingin' at Elmo's bar
Take a trip through town with Doug
Tryin' to destroy Barney's car!

With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Not with the Yaoi House
Hang with the POKEMON SQUAD!
Experiment in RM's lab
Our friends the POKEMON SQUAD!
Stranded on an island twice
With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Dressed up totally fab!

So strap Tabootie to the seat (Rudy: "HEY!")
Come on in and don't be shy
Just to make you so done with life
You can't leave, don't even try!

With the POKEMON SQUAD!
Can't eject the tape, there's no escape!
Come on, hang with the POKEMON SQUAD!
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RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
*A title card with a picture of Rudy and the words "CrackZone" written in a pile of cocaine is shown.*

"Rudy, bucko, ah ya suah ya wanna check in on ChalkZone ta see if da wah has subsided?" Snap asked as Rudy drew a portal onto the back of the Yaoi House. "I mean, I doubt anytin' has changed."
"Snap, we have to keep at least somewhat positive about this sort of thing," Rudy replied.
"But bucko, we haven't hoid anytin' from anyone!" Snap said. "Dat ain't a good sign 'bout da wah!"
Rudy stuck his head in the portal.
"HOLY CHALK!" he shouted, jumping back as a chalk ICBM flew out of the portal.
He rapidly erased the portal with his hands.
"You were entirely right and I should never have doubted you," he gasped, nodding at Snap.
"See, bucko?" Snap chuckled.
Then the ICBM descended on Rudy and exploded.
"Hey, bucko, chalkface is very offensive!" Snap scolded Rudy.
"Okay, one: you know I was just hit by a chalk missile," Rudy said, brushing chalk dust away from his mouth. "You saw it. Two: PLEASE tell me you're not going back to your obsessive social justice blogging phase."
"Relax, bucko, it's just a joke," Snap laughed.
"Good," Rudy replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to wash myself off."
Rudy headed to the front entrance of the Yaoi House and walked up the stairs to the door when suddenly he heard someone behind him.
"Oh, hey, Larry," he said when he turned around to see it was Larry.
"You're covered in crack cocaine," Larry said.
"What? No, no, it's chalk!" Rudy protested. "I was hit by a chalk ICBM that came out of a portal to ChalkZone!"
"Tell it to the judge," Larry replied, handcuffing Rudy and walking him to the police car.
"Snap, help!" Rudy shouted.
"You have the right to remain silent," Larry snapped.
TO BE CONTINUED
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RayquazaMaster
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Du arg, bror?
"Alright, time for your mugshot," Cilan said as Larry walked Rudy to the photo room. "Smile!"
"I can't have my picture taken looking like this!" Rudy protested. "I can't be seen in this tacky orange jumpsuit! I mean, orange jumpsuits CAN be good-looking, but they nearly never are! And-"
"Tough Grimer," Cilan replied as he shot the photo. "Next!


Larry walked Rudy to his prison cell.
"Get in," he said as he pushed Rudy in and locked the door.
Rudy groaned as he took his seat in his cell. Five cellmates eagerly approached him.
"Hey! Welcome to Unnamed Town Prison!" one said, offering his hand for a handshake.
Rudy stared at it, and then at the prisoner.
"What's your name?" another asked.
"You'll laugh," Rudy sighed.
"We never would laugh," another of his cellmates said. "We may be in prison, but we hold ourselves to pretty high moral standards."
"Okay," Rudy said. "Though I find that kind of hard to believe. I'm Rudy."
"Well that's a perfectly normal name!" another of the prisoners said. "Why didn't you want to tell us?"
"I have a really embarrassing last name," Rudy said.
"Then by no means do you have to tell us your last name," another prisoner replied. "If it bothers you, you absolutely no not have to mention it.
"So what are you in for, Rudy?" the first of the prisoners asked.
"A total misunderstanding and something I didn't do," Rudy said.
"That's quite the coincidence!" one of the prisoners laughed.
"I don't follow," Rudy replied.
"See, we're all in for misunderstandings and things we didn't do too!" the prisoner replied. "I was arrested for murdering a family of five. Five people who I never had met, and who I recently found out never were even murdered!"
"I was arrested for a bank robbery," another of the prisoners said. "When ironically enough the teller was the one holding me at gunpoint. I just wanted to deposit that week's paycheck!"
"I was arrested for software piracy," another of them said. "Thing is, I don't even know how to use a computer. Nor do I own one."
"Somehow I wound up arrested for kidnapping!" another put in. "For kidnapping, of all people, the police officer who showed up to arrest me and hadn't even gone missing!"
"As for me," said the prisoner who had been first to greet Rudy, "I was arrested on charges of stalking. Stalking someone whom I had no idea was even still alive. My own father, in fact, whom I'd thought had died in a car crash when I was eight!"
"So you're among friends here," one of them said to Rudy. "What did they claim you did?"
"I had chalk dust covering me and they thought it was crack," Rudy replied. "And they didn't even run any tests on the dust."
The other prisoners laughed.
"That's the best one I've heard this month!" one of them said.
"So, wait," Rudy said. "If all of you are innocent, then why are you still in here?"
"See, we figure that it's a misunderstanding," one of the prisoners replied. "We all sort of feel that sooner or later, they'll realize their mistake and let us free. And until then, we're perfectly willing to wait. We can be totally patient! We don't mind at all."
"I for one have had more time to think than ever before while I've been in here!" another said. "And I've come to a number of conclusions about my own identity that I never would've been able to if I hadn't been arrested!"
"I've personally been using my time here to improve my musical skills," another of them added. "See, before I was arrested, I was the lead guitarist in a band. We weren't a very popular or successful band, but I think I've now had enough practice to fix that!"
"I've been writing a SpongeBob fanfic while I've been here!" the prisoner who had greeted Rudy said. "And before you jump to any conclusions, it's not an erotic fanfic. I never would do that with a beloved children's show! It more or less just retells all of the episodes that went wrong with the problems fixed! It's actually gotten really positive feedback on Fanfiction.net!"
"I myself have done some reading while I've been in here," another of the prisoners said. "I've now read all of the sacred texts of every major religion, and a few minor ones. I feel it's important to try to understand where other people are coming from."
"And I finally got caught up on Doctor Who!" the last of the prisoners said. "In all honesty, I'm not that fond of the latest Doctor, but there've been worse for sure. And either way, that's just my opinion, and in no way do I want to force it onto anyone."
"But why haven't you guys tried to speed up getting out of here?" Rudy asked.
The prisoners all looked at each other and laughed.
"What's so funny?" Rudy asked.
"Well, to be completely honest," the one who had greeted Rudy chuckled, "we don't really want to. We're kind of enjoying ourselves in here!"
"More than kind of, I would say," the Whovian laughed. "I've been having the time of my life. I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything more than I've enjoyed my time here."
"I agree fully!" the religious scholar chimed in. "I have everything I could possibly want!"
"I honestly don't see any reason to rush things," the musician said. "I mean, after all, things take the time that they take! There's no need to be hasty!"
"I can tell you're unsure of things at the moment, but it just takes a little getting used to!" the philosopher added. "If you want I could take you under my wing, and teach you the secrets to self-discovery!"
"But I don't want anything except to get out of here!" Rudy protested.
"Now, guys," the prisoner who had greeted Rudy said. "Rudy says he just wants to get out of here. I feel we should respect that. And in fact, I think we should do what we can to help him get what he wants!"
"Thanks, but why?" Rudy asked. "I mean, I barely know you guys."
"Well, helping out others is important!" the religious scholar replied.
"When you help others, you help yourself!" the philosopher said in agreement.
"I do feel you'll learn to love it here," the Whovian said. "And I think we all feel that way. But at the same time, I feel that making you happy is what's most important!"
"I agree wholeheartedly!" the musician said with a warm smile.
Rudy smiled.
"Thanks so much, guys," he said. "Now cover me as I break into the sewage pipe to get out of here."
His cellmates stared at him.
"Well, okay, I guess," the one who had greeted Rudy said. "I think that's illegal though, and I now more than ever want to stay on the right side of the law... But okay. Because that's what friends do!"
"Thanks!" Rudy replied.


Within a matter of hours, Rudy had tunneled down to the sewage pipe and cracked an opening big enough to fit himself into.
"Okay, I'm going in!" he said to his cellmates. "You guys can come with me if you want!"
"Wait, don't!" the one who had first greeted him interjected. "You'll ruin your jumpsuit!"
"Honey," Rudy said, "this rag was ruined when it was manufactured."
With that he jumped into the sewage pipe and began his trek out.


The doorbell at the Yaoi House rang.
"I'll getly-get-get-get-a-roo it!" Barney laughed. He screamed when he opened it, still smiling. "OH MY GOSHLY-GOSH-GOSH-GOSH-A-ROO, IT'S A MONSTER!"
"Barney, it's me, Rudy," Rudy said. "I just broke out of prison."
"Oh, hidely-ho, Rudy!" Barney laughed. "Why are you covered in filth and icky yucky gunk?"
"I just told you, I broke out of prison," Rudy replied.
Just then, Larry walked up to the door.
"Barney, we have good news about your housemate Rudy Tabootie," he said. "Analysis has shown that the dust we found on him was not crack, but rather chalk. So he'll be cleared of all charges!"
Then he noticed Rudy next to him. He stared blankly at him for a moment, as what had happened registered. Then he spoke.
"...Yeah, you're under arrest for breaking out of prison," he said to Rudy.
"This is fine," Rudy said as Larry handcuffed him.
THE END
*Cue Looney Tunes style ending scene with Rudy and Snap*
(Rudy) On our show we would do a music video, but...
(Snap) Dis ain't ouah show. So dat's all, folks!
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