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Pokemon Squad! Episode 170; Team Rejects
Topic Started: Apr 11 2015, 07:19 PM (66 Views)
RayquazaMaster
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*The music from this video starts playing:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xl910s_daria-opening-logo-version_shortfilms
RM is shown sitting in a crowded movie theatre. Everyone else begins laughing as he continues to stare blankly. The scene changes to the Mansion and the Yaoi House playing volleyball. Everyone glares at RM as he simply lets the ball bounce by him. He shrugs. The scene changes again to Brock talking to Nurse Joy in front of the door to RM's lab. RM stares at them for a moment, then takes an ambulance siren out of his pocket and activates it, causing Nurse Joy to send out her Chansey and run off frantically in search of the ambulance, with Brock running after her. RM walks into his lab. The scene changes again to everyone in the Mansion sitting in a stadium at a sporting event, with everyone eagerly paying attention except RM, who is on his 3DS. Everyone except him gets up and cheers. The scene goes back to the volleyball game between the Yaois and RM's Mansion. The ball bounces past RM again and everyone glares as he shrugs. The scene changes again to a wedding with Rudy walking down the aisle in a wedding gown. The camera moves left to show Barney in a pew crying while still smiling, Barney Frank next to him looking on proudly, Ash next to him clapping wildly, and RM on his 3DS. We go back to the volleyball game with Brock and Ash standing in front of RM. They jump and collide, knocking each other down, and the ball bounces past RM. He shrugs again. We then see RM smiling smugly on a plain cream backdrop. The camera zooms in on the upper half of his face, then zooms out to show it in a circle on a blue backdrop with "Pokemon Squad" scrawled along the rim of the circle.*
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RayquazaMaster
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*A title card with silhouettes of Jessie, James, and Meowth standing in an unemployment line with the words "Team Rejects" above them is shown.*

"Prepare for trouble, beside the back fence!"
"And make it double, 'cause you have no defense!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
"Mewoth, dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"Team Rocket!" Ash exclaimed. "I should've known that the nice people who looked like you three but with mustaches were just you three wearing fake mustaches!"
"Jess, I'm genuinely unsure of why that was even necessary," James said. "I mean, we do live here in the Mansion with him and he's usually under the impression that we have a truce as long as we're here. Couldn't we have just asked him to meet us elsewhere?"
"Oh, shut it, James!" Jessie snapped. "There's no need to complicate things like that!"
"Yeah, keepin' it simple is what we do best!" Meowth shouted.
"Let's go, Pikachu!" Ash said.
"Pika!" Pikachu added.
The two of them went through a hole in the fence into the backyard of the Yaoi House.
"He went through a hole!" Jessie exclaimed.
"What do we do?!" James asked.
"He went through a hole!"
"What do we do?!"
"He went through a hole!"
"What do we do?!"
"He went through a hole!"
"What do we do?!"
"GO TRU DA HOLE!" Meowth shouted.
"Oh," Jessie and James said in unison as they climbed through the hole.
"I don't see him anywhere," James said.
"Poiple freak at twelve o' clock!"" Meowth shrieked.
"HIDELY-HO, FRIENDLY-FRIEND-A-LOOS!" Barney laughed as he ran towards them. "I'm glad you came to play!"
Team Rocket ran off screaming.


That night, Jessie, James, and Meowth got a call from Giovanni.
"Sir!" they greeted.
"Enough with the pleasantries," Giovanni snarled as he petted his Persian. "I've been waiting on you to bring me something of value far too long! You promised you would get me an incredibly powerful Pikachu, a ridiculously strong Mudkip, an exceedingly tough Pachirisu, a Rayquaza that's powerful even by Rayquaza standards, or some combination! And you've been on Unnamed Island for nearly five years! Where is my rare and valuable Pokemon?!"
"Isn't da chance to see ouah bright and smilin' faces rayah and valuable enough, sih?" Meowth asked nervously.
"Silence!" Giovanni snapped. "Do you three nincompoops think this is a joke?! Ever since you three left in pursuit of that apparently unusual Pikachu, you've been giving Team Rocket a bad name everywhere from Kanto to Kalos! Your failures outnumber those of every other member of the team combined!"
"But sir-" Jessie began.
"Don't start!" Giovanni shouted. "I have an ultimatum for you three fools. Either you three get me something rare and valuable or at the bare minimum recruit a worthy member for Team Rocket, or you three are out of a job! You have 48 hours! Don't disappoint me, although I'm practically certain you will!"
The call ended.
"What do we do?!" James asked. "We can't possibly catch a rare and valuable Pokemon in under 48 hours! We haven't caught the twerp's Pikachu in 17 years! And it's just a bloody Pikachu!"
"Then we go with plan B," Jessie replied. "We recruit new grunts for Team Rocket."
"But everyone knows we'ah bad news!" Meowth argued. "It's not like some dope is gonna be sold on da unifohm alone!"


"I'm sold on the uniform alone," RM said.
Jessie, James, and Meowth stared in shock.
"Wait, really?" Jessie asked.
"Yeah, the uniform is great," RM replied. "I might even see if I can get MM in on this. I mean, both of us have been looking for moderately well-paying jobs as of late, and if it means I'd get to wear that sleek uniform, I'm sold. I might as well get paid if I'm going to dress nicely."
"You... you do realize that stealing Pokemon is in the job description?" James asked.
"I'm well aware of it," RM replied. "But my code of ethics and morals has a high degree of plasticity when sleek clothes and a paycheck are involved. Mostly sleek clothes."
Jessie stared at James.
"Are you sure you're the gay one?" she asked.
"Jess, I've told you before, not all of us are into snazzy clothes like that!" James groaned. "And besides, just because I'm only into them to a lesser degree than RM doesn't mean that I don't like men. Swedish Twerp, do you like men romantically?!"
"No, but I can identify a good-looking one easily," RM replied. "Though I fail to see how this relates to the job opening."
"See?!" James said to Jessie. "And I'm sure I have a better fashion sense than him anyway! Remember my beautiful flaming Moltres suit?"
"Please don't talk about that," Jessie sighed, "you're giving me flashbacks."
"I'm going to go get MM while you two argue about clothes," RM said, getting up from his chair.
"Yeah, like you'ah one ta talk!" Meowth shouted as he walked off.
"And anyway," James continued, "just look at the buck-toothed twerp next door! His wardrobe is like if Jon Arbuckle and Macklemore conceived twins with Lady Gaga!"
"...Point taken," Jessie said.


"Okay, so I've discussed it with MM," RM said as he and MM reentered the room and took their seats.
"And?" Jessie asked.
"(Nick jingle)ing sold, m8," MM laughed. "It sounds fun."
"We did it!" Jessie, James, and Meowth cheered.
"You'll need to be in Viridian City at the headquarters by Saturday morning," Jessie said.
"Doable," RM replied. "In fact we can be there tonight, since we can just fly there on Rayquaza."
"Team Rocket is about to get memed," MM chuckled. "All the normies in the world won't know what hit them."
"Thanks very much for the job opportunity!" RM said to Jessie, James, and Meowth, and with that, he and MM left.
"Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?" Jessie sighed.
"You do too?" James asked.
"Hey, yous two ain't da only ones!" Meowth added.


On Rayquaza on the way to Viridian City, something occurred to RM.
"Say, MM," he said. "Seeing as we're going to be part of Team Rocket..."
"I'm not partaking in a song sequence with you," MM replied.
"Sure you are. Or else Rayquaza is doing a barrel roll.
"Fine..." MM sighed.

(Both) Prepare for trouble
And make it double
Prepare for trouble
And make it double

(MM) We'll be the richest rogues of all time...
(RM) Creators of a grand design!
(MM) I'll be the king.
(RM) I'll be the queen~!
(Sqirt) Ich werde der Joker des Verbrechens zu sein!

(Both) Prepare for trouble
And make it double
(RM) Prepare for trouble.
(MM) Make it double.
(RM) To protect the world from devastation.
(MM) To unite all people within our nation.
(RM) To denounce the evils of truth and love.
(MM) To extend our reach to the stars above.
(RM) RM!
(MM) MM!
(RM) Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light.
(MM) Surrender now or prepare to fight!
(Sqirt) Ist richtig!

(Both) Team Rocket's rockin',
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,

Team Rocket's rockin,
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,
Looks like the end of days for you.

Prepare for trouble,
Make it double
(RM) Prepare for trouble!
(Both) Prepare for trouble,
(MM) Make it double!
(Both) Make it double
We're Team Rocket and we fight for what's wrong
For mayhem and madness and rare Pokemon
(RM) I'm so gorgeous~!
(MM) I'm always the man!
(Sqirt) You're just the players in my Meisterplan!

(Both) Team Rocket's rockin',
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,

Team Rocket's rockin,
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,
Looks like the end of days for you.

We're always gonna try it
No one can deny it
We can cause a riot in Sunday School
(MM) Bruh. Perf.
(Both) We'll have you believing
Truth can be deceiving
"Do unto others" is our Golden Rule

"This is our most ingenious plan ever, if I do say so myself," RM chuckled.
"Even we couldn't screw this one up, RM," MM laughed.
Rayquaza began to descend.
"Whoa, Rayquaza, easy!" RM said.

(Both) Prepare for trouble.

Team Rocket's rockin',
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,

Team Rocket's rockin,
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,
Looks like the end of days for you.

Team Rocket's rockin',
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,

Team Rocket's rockin,
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,
Looks like the end of days for you.

Team Rocket's rockin',
Talkin' trouble, walkin' trouble,
Double trouble, big trouble's gonna follow you,

Rayquaza landed and RM fell off on his face.
"Looks like Team Rocket Muk'd it up again..." he muttered.


The next morning, there was a knock at the door.
"Jessie, James, Meowth, I think it's for you guys!" Brock called.
The three of them walked down to the door and saw...
"Cassidy!" Jessie snarled.
"And (Nick jingle)!" James added.
"THE NAME IS BUTCH!" Butch snapped. "We're already mad enough with you two!"
"What did we do?" Meowth asked.
"Those two new recruits that you got yesterday?" Cassidy said. "They've already caught five legendary Pokemon!"
Jessie, James, and Meowth's jaws dropped.
"How?!" Jessie asked.
"Which ones?!" James asked.
"Dis quickly?!" Meowth asked.
"They've caught Heatran, Volcanion, Cresselia, Diancie, and Mew," Butch replied.
"They're doing so well the boss has let half the team go," Cassidy added. "We're out of a job. And I won't be surprised in the least if you three are next."
"This is all your fault!" Butch shouted.
"Did you two morons have any reason to come here besides telling us that?" Jessie asked.
Butch and Cassidy were silent.
"That's what we thought!" James said.
There was a buzzing. James pulled the transmitter cube out of his pocket.
"Now if you'll excuse us, the boss is calling!" he said.
He, Jessie, and Meowth closed the door and activated the transmitter, bringing up a screen with Giovanni's face on it.
"I cannot thank you three enough for the new members you recruited!" Giovanni said, stroking his Persian. "Truly, RM and MM are the best members Team Rocket has ever had! Dare I say it, better evem than my own mother! They even managed to catch a Mew before their registration tests were completed!"
"We're very glad to have served you so well, sir!" Jessie said.
"Quiet! You merely recruited them!" Giovanni snapped. "Apart from that, you've not served me in the least! And that is what this call is actually about. You three are being let go."
Jessie, James, and Meowth all gasped.
"B-but sir!" James protested.
"Look, now that I have operatives as skillful as RM and MM, I don't need as many lower members," Giovanni replied. "In fact I barely need any members besides them. I mean, they're currently at Mt. Coronet at Spear Pillar setting up a ritual to summon and capture Arceus itself! So in short, you three are fired. Thank you so much for recruiting RM and MM for me though!"
The call ended and the trio rejoined Butch and Cassidy.
"Let me guess, you three were laid off too?" Butch asked.
"Yep," James sighed.
"RM and MM are in Sinnoh summoning Arceus to capture it," Jessie added.
"Wanna sabotage dem and try ta get ouah jobs back?" Meowth suggested.
"Sure, it's not like we have anything better to do now," Cassidy replied.
"We'll split up then," Butch said. "You three go to Mt. Coronet to sabotage their Arceus summoning ritual. Cass and I will go to HQ and sabotage their entrance test results."
"Deal," Jessie replied.


Truth be told it wasn't exactly hard to stowaway on a plane headed for Sinnoh, and Jessie, James, and Meowth arrived in Hearthome City within a few hours. From there, they set out up Mt. Coronet.
"Are we there yet?" James groaned as they climbed the snowy peaks. "We've been hiking for hours. Why can't we just take the balloon?"
"Because it wouldn't fit in the plane we caught here, idiot," Jessie snapped back. "Besides, I can see Spear Pillar not too far away."
"I tink I've lost five o' my nine lives just climbin' heah," Meowth gasped.


"Are the elemental plates in formation now?" RM asked MM.
"They are indeed!" MM replied with a laugh. "Arceus gon get rekt!"
"Okay, now we need one attack of every type to hit the center triangle!" RM said. "Send out all the Pokemon!"
The mob of grunts sent out their Pokemon. A horde of Sandshrew, Rattata, Zubat, Machop, Drowzee, Venonat, Gloom, Houndour, Skarmory, Geodude, Magnemite, Snubbull, Slowpoke, Swinub, Dratini, and Gastly emerged from their PokeBalls and all began to launch attacks at the figure that had been assembled.
"Next, I need to read from the ancient Sinnoese texts while you play the Azure Flute!" RM said to MM, handing him the flute and opening the battered book from which he would read.
"We're too late!" James said. He, Jessie, and Meowth sat behind a rock overlooking Spear Pillar. "They're too far along the summoning process!"
"We have to disrupt it somehow!" insisted Jessie. "Come on!"
They began to head down to Spear Pillar as RM began to read the ancient texts.
"In the beginning, there was only
a churning turmoil of chaos.
At the heart of chaos, where all
things became one, appeared an Egg.
Having tumbled from the vortex, the
Egg gave rise to the Original One.
From itself, two beings the Original
One did make.
Time started to spin.
Space began to expand.
From itself again, three living things
the Original One did make.
The two beings wished, and from them,
matter came to be.
The three living things wished, and
from them, spirit came to be.
The world created, the Original One
took to unyielding sleep..."
A bright light began to shine from the center of the circle, with a portal beginning to appear. RM continued reading.
"The Original One breathed alone before the universe came.
When the universe was created, its shards became this Plate.
The power of defeated giants infuses this Plate.
Two beings of time and space set free from the Original One.
Three beings were born to bind time and space.
Two make matter, and three make spirit, shaping the world.
The powers of Plates are shared among Pokémon.
The rightful bearer of a Plate draws from the Plate it holds."
The portal grew bigger still and glowed even brighter.
"Now we just have to do the control verse!" RM said, turning the page.
"Not so fast!" Jessie shouted. "Prepare for trouble, summoner of a god!"
"And make it double!" James added "Because this seems odd!"
"We'ah cuttin' it shoht today," Meowth said. "Seein' as we ain't exactly loaded wit time."
Just then RM's transmitter cube buzzed where it sat on the ground next to him. It activated and an angry Giovanni appeared on a holographic screen.
"RM and MM, I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said.
"Can't it wait?" RM asked. "We're a little bit busy summoning Arceus."
"I'm well aware," Giovanni replied, "and I'm afraid I can't let you anymore. I just got your entry test results back from the lab. The urine samples- both of yours- indicated heavy use of marijuana. I can't have a pothead on Team Rocket, let alone two. I may be a crime boss, but I have standards. You're both fired. Though you technically weren't fully hired anyway... But either way, neither one of you is affiliated with Team Rocket any longer. Thank you for your service. I will be rehiring all of the layoffs shortly. Goodbye."
The call ended and RM and MM stared blankly at the cube.
"Oh," MM said.
There was suddenly a bellowing roar and Arceus emerged from the portal.
"WHO DARES TO AWAKEN ME FROM MY ETERNAL SLUMBER?!" Arceus demanded.
"Oh no!" RM gasped. "Since we were interrupted and I couldn't read the control verse Arceus is acting on its own!"
"PREPARE FOR JUDGEMENT, MORTAL FOOLS!" Arceus exclaimed, readying a Judgement attack.
Everyone began to scramble.
"I don't wanna die a virgin!" RM screamed as he ran.
Arceus launched Judgement, and the fallout sent Jessie, James, and Meowth flying.
"LOOKS LIKE-" Jessie began.
"TEAM ROCKET'S-" James continued.
"BLASTIN' OFF AGAIN!" Meowth finished.
With a ping they vanished in the sky.


The trio landed in the canopy of a tree.
"Well, at least Butch and Cassidy were successful," Jessie muttered.
"Hang on, Jess, the boss is calling!" James said as he pulled out his transmitter cube and activated it.
"You three are back on the team," Giovanni said. "No questions... I... don't want to talk about it."
The call ended, and Jessie, James, and Meowth cheered.
THE END
*Cue Looney Tunes style ending scene with Team Rocket*
(Jessie, James, and Meowth) Looks like Team Rocket's signing off again!
Edited by RayquazaMaster, Apr 11 2015, 11:34 PM.
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