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| Pokemon Squad! Episode 167; A Nightmare On High Street | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 22 2015, 08:36 PM (94 Views) | |
| RayquazaMaster | Mar 22 2015, 08:36 PM Post #1 |
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Du arg, bror?
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Just sit right back And you'll hear a tale A tale of some idiots Who all live together in Unnamed Town In a big pointless Mansion The protag was a Pokemon Master Not to mention a genius The Mansion was filled to the brim With too many characters for this With too many characters for this The Mansion was purchased for a massive sum And the cast all moved right in Despite RM's strict regulations The folks let out the beasts within The folks let out the beasts within The Mansion sits upon High Street Next door to the Yaoi House With RM, Ash Ketchum too, Henry and June And MM also, Brock Harrison, Misty and Professor Oak Here in RM's Mansion So this is the tale of our idiots They're here for a long long time They'll have to learn to get along although They think the others are slime RM and Ash Ketchum too Want to be the very best But Red wants the same as well In their Unnamed Island nest With high tech gadgets galore Every single luxury But right next door they face their fears In the House of the Yaois So join us frequently, readers Even though it's pretty odd From a Mansion full of lunatics Called the Pokemon Squad! |
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| RayquazaMaster | Mar 23 2015, 07:12 PM Post #2 |
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Du arg, bror?
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It was a dark, moonless night in Unnamed Town. The perfect night for the master of nightmares. My name is Darkrai, and I visited Unnamed Town on this special moonless night. Specifically I visited High Street, where the Yaoi House and RM's Mansion are located. And my oh my, did I have fun messing with the psyches of the folks in these houses... Here are the wonderful visions I bestowed them with. ASH "Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!" Ash commanded. "Pi...ka...CHUUUUU!" Pikachu launched a powerful Thunderbolt at Diantha's Mega Gardevoir, paralyzing it. "Gard..." Gardevoir murmured. "Now finish it with Iron Tail!" Ash shouted. "Pika!" But Gardevoir put up its arms, blocking Pikachu. "Blow it away with Hyper Beam," Diantha said calmly. "GARDE...VOIR!" Gardevoir fired a massive beam of energy, hitting Pikachu at point-blank range. "Pikachu, no!" Ash screamed. Pikachu fell to the ground, unconscious. "Pikachu is unable to battle!" the referee declared. "Gardevoir is the winner! And the victory and therefore title of champion goes to Diantha!" "What an idiot!" someone in the crowd shouted. "Gardevoir was right there, waiting to be beaten, and yet that imbecile's Pikachu still winds up losing!" "Huh?" Ash stammered. "How does somebody fail that badly?!" someone else shouted. "Ash, I'm through with you," Misty snapped as she approached him from the stands behind him. "I can't love someone who makes mistakes THAT moronic." "But Misty, why-" Ash began. "Bonjour, Ash!" Serena said as she approached him. "I no longer, how you say, love you! You are too big of an idiot for anyone to love! Starbucks now is my only, how you say, love! Au revoir!" "Serena, I-" "Ash Ketchum!" Delia scolded as she walked to Ash, her hands on her hips. "I can't believe that battle! You have no right to be a Ketchum anymore! You're officially disowned! I have no son!" "MOMMY, NO!" Ash sobbed. RM RM walked through the meadow with Sqirt and Pachirisu. He suddenly heard a loud buzzing. He turned to see a massive swarm of bees. "Not bees!" he gasped. The bees suddenly all held up signs that said things like "No More Abortions", "Christianity Is The One True Religion", "Stop Gay Marriage", and "Ted Cruz For President". RM gasped even louder. "NOT CONSERVATIVE BEES!" he screamed. The bees all put on and tipped fedoras. "B'buzz," they all said. RM screamed even more loudly than before. "NOT CONSERVATIVE FEDORIAN BEES!" The bees all brought out bags of Doritos and bottle of Mountain Dew and one of them began to dryhump a Rainbow Dash doll. "AUGH! NOT CONSERVATIVE FEDORIAN NECKBEARD BEES!" RM screamed. The bees then all began chewing on sprigs of wheat and put on plaid flannel shirts. "NO! NO! NOT CONSERVATIVE FEDORIAN NECKBEARD REDNECK BEES!" RM screamed. The bees all began buzzing to the tune of Photograph. "ANYTHING BUT CONSERVATIVE FEDORIAN NECKBEARD REDNECK BEES THAT PLAY NICKELBACK!" RM screamed at the top of his lungs. He fainted. BROCK An elderly Brock lay on his deathbed alone. He softly cried to himself. "I never scored," he said with his final breath. PROFESSOR OAK "Oh no!" Professor Oak screamed. "Kanto is being destroyed by every legendary Pokemon in existence! Who can save us?!" "I can!" Ash said. "I'm the chosen one again! Come on, Pikachu!" Professor Oak struggled to breath. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed. PIKACHU "Okay, Pikachu, get in the PokeBall!" Ash said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pikachu screamed as he was pulled in. MAY May was on the stage in a Pokemon Contest. All her friends were in the audience. It was the appeal round and she was using Venusaur. "Okay Venusaur, use Razor Leaf!" she commanded. "Saur!" Venusaur bellowed as it let loose a flurry of leaves. A stray one flew toward May's chest and made contact. POP. Everyone in the audience gasped. May looked down at her chest and began to cry. "NO!" she screamed. BARNEY Barney walked down the street to McDonald's to go to the play area. But when he arrived... "Wherely-where-where-where-a-roo are all the kiddly-kid-kid-kid-a-roos?" he asked. "Didn't Barney hear?" Elmo asked. "Every child on the planet spontaneously grew into an adult!" Barney started to cry. "I loved them..." he sang in tears, still smiling. "They loved me... We could've been a happy family..." ELMO "I'm very proud of you, Elmo!" Larry said as he shook Elmo's hand. "You've made a full recovery!" "Elmo will never touch another alcoholic drink again!" Elmo said proudly. "Elmo is going to close Elmo's Tavern! Wait... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" RUDY "And in other news," Barbie said on the news, "production of Frozen 2 has been cancelled!" Rudy and Snap gasped and began to cry. "This is the worst thing that could possibly happen," Rudy sobbed, "isn't it, Snap?" "Yeah, m'lady," Snap replied, tipping a fedora and pouring Mountain Dew on his Crocs. Rudy screamed. SNAP "And in other news," Barbie said on the news, "production of Frozen 2 has been cancelled!" Rudy and Snap gasped and began to cry. "This is the worst thing that could possibly happen," Rudy sobbed, "isn't it, Snap?" "Yeah, bucko," Snap choked back. "Well, I know this is a difficult time," Rudy began, "but I have something to say that I should probably get out now." "What is it, bucko?" Snap asked. "I reset the timeline," Rudy sighed. "Penny's alive again. And... I'm straight. And even though we're ten, Penny and I are getting married." Snap screamed. ERNIE Ernie and Bert sat in their beds when they heard a siren. "THIS IS THE POLICE!" a voice shouted. "THE BUILDING IS SURROUNDED! THERE IS NO WAY OUT! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" "Oh no, Bert!" Ernie gasped. "They must've found out about our murder of Bort!" "That idiot Big Bird must've snitched on us..." Bert muttered. The door burst open and there was gunfire. "BERT, HELP ME!" Ernie screamed as he and Bert were torn apart by bullets. BERT Ernie and Bert sat in their beds when they heard a siren. "THIS IS THE POLICE!" a voice shouted. "THE BUILDING IS SURROUNDED! THERE IS NO WAY OUT! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" "Oh no, Bert!" Ernie gasped. "They must've found out about our murder of Bort!" "That idiot Big Bird must've snitched on us..." Bert muttered. "Actually, Bert," Ernie said, flashing a police badge, "I did. You're under arrest for the murder of Bort. Come quietly or I'll have to use force." "Ernie, no!" Bert gasped. "You were involved in the murder too!" "Except I wasn't," Ernie replied with a smug grin. "You organized, orchestrated, and carried out the whole thing. I tried to stop you, but it was no use. You went through with it anyway. And now your life of crime is over, Bert." Ernie pulled out a gun. "But Ernie, I thought what we had was special!" Bert sobbed. "I didn't want Bort getting between us!" "Come with me, Bert," Ernie said. "You're going back to prison. For a LONG time this time." "I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!" Bert screamed. Ernie fired the gun. With that, my work was done. It was nearly sunrise, and it was time for me to leave. But just remember, if you find yourself on a moonless night experiencing unimaginable terrors in your dreams... I may just have breached the walls of your psyche. THE END (Ash) Our next adventure... is this one! Pokemon Squad's first alternate universe comes to life! We're all students in a sitcom high school! All of us are shallow tropes with no real personalities! Will it be remotely tolerable? Next time: Pokemon Squad! Episode 168: So Totally High School! |
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4:51 AM Jul 11